Haven’t you heard of all those cases of cell phones ruining relationships? Keep the mobile phone aside and focus on your partner. You are happily married or in a wonderful live-in relationship but still wondering why you have had no sex in the last many months?
Not just that, there’s not even cuddling, kissing or caressing anymore. It is certain that you love each other but because you aren’t making love, are you beginning to think if you have both have started loving your phones/gadgets more than the relationship? Is technology ruining relationships?
I realised that when my husband comes home, we have dinner and then after cleaning up, he switches the TV on and I start checking messages on my cell phone. This has become our routine. He is in the living room and I am in the bedroom, both busy with our beloved gadgets.
What’s even funnier is that when we have to speak to each other, we send a WhatsApp ping, being in the same house. Neither of us has any sexual disorder. We are also deeply in love with each other, yet there has been a dry spell in our relationship for the last 6 months or more.
When you first start dating, it’s hours and hours of talking on the phone, chatting on WhatsApp day in and day out and when you finally meet in person, you did not care about the gadgets. It is surprising then that the same mobile phone which brought you together is now taking you apart, at least physically.
Don’t Let Your Cell Phones Pull You And Your Partner Apart
If you are in a similar situation and find your partner spending more time with his/her phone, laptop, TV or Xbox, then you need to act fast. Marriage and cell phones when go hand in hand can spell the doom for your relationship.
Related Reading: Who controls your life? You or your gadgets?
Here are some things you can do to ensure that your gadgets do not control your relationship.
1. Switch off your phone
As lovers, you are sure to go out for dinner, drinks, parties, etc. Try switching off your phone during this time and engage in a real conversation. Often, taking selfies, posting them instead of talking, (AKA social media mistakes you should avoid) can cause more harm to your relationship than it does any good. Talk to one another.
Give your phone a little rest and hold each other’s hand. It will be hard and you may find your hand slipping into your pocket or purse, but make efforts to spend time with your partner minus any distraction.
2. Wake your partner instead of the phone doing it
As soon as you wake up, you want your phone. Do you want to see the WhatsApp messages you’ve got? Well, if you do not want your gadget to overpower the love you have for your partner, then wake him/her up yourself with some tea/coffee and not the phone alarm or the alarm clock.
If you connect with one another in the morning, the thought of each other will stay throughout the day. It is true phones kill relationships, when you start thinking about other things you could be doing on the phone when you’re supposed to be talking to or spending time with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
It is indeed annoying if your partner is on the phone all day and to start the morning with the phone is even worse. Just keep it away and have a proper conversation over tea and coffee before you reach for the phone.
Related Reading: 7 Signs That Gadgets Ruin Relationships With Their “Technoference”
3. Use the gadget together
Instead of using your phone alone, or watching TV alone, find out what you can do together. It could be playing an online game with your partner while sitting next to one another or something as simple as watching your favourite TV series together on the same couch.
Make the most of weekends or long holidays. Go on a long drive, a little trip to a nearby town, or even take a hike together. It is only when these things are not possible, that you should be resorting to using gadgets as a couple.
Having said that. we all need our space and our “own” time. However, limit it to a couple of hours and make all efforts to disconnect from your gadget and come closer to your partner. Just as much as you hear of cases of cell phones ruining relationships, lack of alone time too leads to catastrophe.
There are a lot of things you can do together at home. You can Netflix, cook together, do the household chores and just have impromptu dinner. Just keep the phones away.
If you are thinking about how phones can ruin relationships then let us tell you even before you know the phone could create a distance in the relationship that you would find difficult to breach.
4. Get wiser and virtually closer
There is no need to abandon your phone/gadget completely. When at work, or college or physically apart, use the phone to your advantage. But be smart about it.
Call him/her or send a text message. If he/she is busy, leave a voice message and ask about how his/her day is going or if he/she had lunch/tea etc. You can even send him/her a photo of your desk with his/her photo on it.
You’ll surely find this to be a little awkward at first if you have spent a good amount of time in your relationship together, but if you have to keep the spark then you have to light it first. Make wise use of technology to come closer to your partner.
Related Reading: Technology And Relationships: Is Love Getting Better With Tech?
In my experience, I figured that my phone was my biggest foe. It drew me away from my partner, to an extent that love-making became a task for him. It is necessary to have a phone to be connected to the world, but what is the use of it when you are not able to connect with your partner in your relationship.
Do not let the gadgets in your house jinx your relationship. When it comes to matters of love, it is for you to answer if your phone is your friend or foe.
Phone addiction is so severe that you don’t even realize how hooked you are until you check your screen time at the end of the day. Does it hit you, how little time you’re spending with the love of your life?
If cellphones are ruining relationships then it should be used minimally. Just control your urge to keep checking it and see the difference it makes to your relationship.
Only to an extent that has been discussed by both of you. Snooping around and betraying your partner’s trust by accessing their phone when they are unaware, is a big no-no.
It is frustrating to spend time with someone who constantly uses their phone. Your partner will get bored of your company soon enough, and leave you to spend their time with someone who will give them attention.