Unlike the rom-coms we all dearly love, things don’t just end in a happily-ever-after when you say “Yes” or “I do”. Even after you’ve found the one for you, you need to put in constant effort and think about how to improve your relationship.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the dating phase, moved-in together, or married, maintaining a good relationship needs constant efforts— only love does not suffice. To understand how to make a relationship better, we talked to a California-based psychiatrist and Cognitive Behaviour Therapist, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), who specializes in counseling for separation and divorce, breakup and dating, and premarital compatibility issues. 

Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship

Getting into a relationship is the easy part. Maintaining a long-term relationship is what takes skill. So how do you keep your relationship from turning into a series of awkward silences and passive-aggressive dishwashing? Here are some healthy relationship boundaries you should try to sustain if you’re wondering how to improve in a relationship, as per Dr. Batra.

Related Reading: 12 Simple Tips To Build Healthy Relationships

1. Communication

Imagine you’re both trying to assemble IKEA furniture. If you don’t talk, you’ll end up with a chair that looks more like modern art. Similarly, for good relationship building, communication and transparency is important. When wondering how to communicate better with your spouse, remember that your partner doesn’t know telepathy and neither do you. So use your words.

Dr. Batra says, “Healthy communication is the subtle skill of not screaming over spilled milk and, when in doubt, remembering that sarcasm is not an ideal love language. Talk openly, listen actively, and voila, you’re already halfway to relationship bliss.”

2. Humor

“When facing minor inconveniences, like forgetting to pick up the movie tickets or navigating a crowded family gathering, a little humor can diffuse tension. It can help turn potential arguments in a relationship into inside jokes and save the day.” says Dr. Batra.

Imagine, you’re late for an event and realize one of you left the tickets at home. Instead of finger-pointing, crack a joke. Suddenly, the world isn’t ending, and you’re laughing through the chaos. This is how to better your relationship. Have some fun, don’t take everything seriously.

Related Reading: 25 Games To Play With Your Girlfriend – Fun, Flirty, And Exciting

3. Dependability

Dr. Batra advises, “Love is showing up for your partner, even when the couch is calling your name. A major sign of a healthy relationship is that your partner can trust you to be there when they need.” This is how to improve your relationship — assure your partner that you are there for them in sickness, health, and laziness of a Sunday afternoon.

4. Respect

Dr. Batra says “Respect is one the major relationship needs. Respect is nodding along and pretending to care when your partner goes on a 10-minute rant about something you couldn’t care less about because it matters to them. 

“Respect is about appreciating their quirks and recognizing that you’re both equals in this partnership.“ – Dr. Shefali Batra 

If you’re looking for tips on how to better your relationship or how to improve in a relationship, see if you respect who your partner is outside the relationship, who they are as a person — their opinions, taste, likes, dislikes. You don’t need to agree with all their opinions but you should be accepting of them as long as it’s nothing harmful.

5. Sexual connection

Healthy relationship building consists of sexual compatibility. Each person is different and the expectations of physical intimacy can extremely vary in terms of frequency and preferences. But in a healthy relationship, the partners find a way to fulfill each other’s sexual needs.

As per Dr. Batra, “Sexuality in a relationship is like seasoning food—everyone has different tastes, but the goal is to find what works for both of you. And if things get awkward, laugh it off! Nothing kills the mood faster than taking yourself too seriously.”  

Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why Intimacy Among Couples Fades And How You Can Prevent It

6. Disagreements

No relationship is without its disagreements. The key is knowing how to tackle them. While you need to find a common ground for some serious disagreements associated with your relationship, you can just agree to disagree with minor stuff to keep your peace. 

Maybe you think pineapple on pizza is an abomination, while your partner orders it every time. Rather than launching into a full-blown debate, sometimes agreeing to disagree is the healthiest choice.

When giving advice on how to be a better partner, Dr. Batra says, “Not every disagreement is a hill worth dying on, and a little diversity of opinion keeps things interesting. This ties into the concept of unconditional acceptance—loving your partner even when they wear Crocs. It’s recognizing that no one’s perfect and that their quirks and flaws are part of what makes them lovable.”

7. Space

“For maintaining healthy relationship boundaries, space and freedom are of key importance, or as I like to call it, the “You Time” and “Me Time” balance. Whether it’s a solo Netflix binge or a night out with friends, having time apart makes your time together even sweeter.” 

Think of it as breathing room for your relationship—without it, things can get suffocating fast. So, encourage each other to have your own hobbies and interests, and enjoy yours guilt-free. This is especially a helpful tip on how to improve your marriage, as it becomes difficult to maintain space as a married couple.

11 Therapist-Recommended Tips On How To Improve Your Relationship

As the relationship moves forward and the honeymoon phase is over, the daily responsibilities can take over your romance-filled days. It’s understandable and even healthy to an extent — You cannot just spend all your days crushing over each other and not get anything else done. 

However, between all of life’s responsibilities, your partner should not become your lowest priority. Your relationship also needs time and energy to nurture emotional and physical intimacy and you should ensure that when planning your days. Here are some tips on how to improve your relationship suggested by Dr. Batra.

1. Foster healthy communication

The key answer to how to make a relationship better is having detailed and specific communication. Saying, “I feel ignored when you’re on your phone during dinner” will resolve the problem sooner and more easily than just sulking in silence. 

Dr. Batra explains with a perfect analogy how to communicate better with your spouse and sustain transparency, “Imagine you’re ordering a pizza, but instead of toppings, you’re discussing your feelings. You wouldn’t just say, “Food.” You’d specify exactly what you want—extra cheese, no olives, thin crust. Do the same with your partner. Don’t just say, “I’m upset.” Specify what’s bothering you.” 

Related Reading: How To Fix Lack Of Communication In A Relationship – 15 Expert Tips

2. Make time for fun

Remember how you used to laugh at the dumbest things together? Like that time you both got stuck in the elevator and ended up doing a ridiculous dance to pass the time? Bring that back. Find new things to do as a couple.

Giving advice on how to be a better partner, Dr. Batra says, “Play, joke, tease each other in a harmless, fun way. If the only thing you’re scheduling together these days is a joint grocery run, it’s time to plan something where the end goal isn’t just “Did we get enough milk?”

3. Master the art of apologizing

You messed up. You forgot the anniversary, said something snarky, or binged a whole season of your favorite show without them. It happens. But instead of giving a half-hearted “Sorry,” own it. 

Picture yourself in a rom-com, dramatically apologizing with flowers and a grand gesture. Okay, maybe not that extra, but if you wanna know how to improve in a relationship, a sincere “I really messed up, and I’m sorry” will do wonders by helping build trust and loyalty. Maybe throw in a little humor as well: “I was an idiot, can I make it up to you with ice cream?”

Related Reading: 12 Sincere Ways To Apologize To Someone You Hurt

4. Respect their alone time 

“Give your partner space in a relationship to do their thing, whether it’s gardening, gaming, or guilty pleasures they wouldn’t normally admit to. It’s like allowing them to charge their social battery,” advises Dr. Batra. 

While it’s important to explore things to do as a couple, everyone needs a little alone time too, even if it’s just to binge on shows where the drama is as fake as the tans. And who knows? Absence might just make your heart grow fonder.

Related Reading: Space, Spouses And Successful Marriages

5. Practice active listening

You know that moment when your partner’s talking, and you’re just nodding along, but inside, you’re planning your grocery list? Yeah, they can tell. Active listening is a great tip if you’re wondering how to increase love in a relationship, as it makes your partner feel valued and displays your loyalty and devotion towards them.

Engage like you’re Sherlock Holmes on a juicy case. Ask questions, summarize what they said, even if it’s about their weird dream last night. Show them you’re not just hearing, but really listening. This way, when you talk about your weird dream, they’ll actually listen too.

6. Bring back the compliments

Remember the early days when you’d compliment everything from their laugh to their shoes? Bring that back. Dr. Batra tells us, “A simple compliment on their appearance, outfit, skills or an achievement can go a long way. It’s like sprinkling a little bit of fairy dust on your relationship.”

Here are some beautiful compliments that you can use in the daily:

• You look gorgeous!
• Thanks for cooking today, dinner was delicious!
• Trying a new hairstyle? It looks great on you!.
• You handled that situation so well. You really know how to keep you calm
• I love seeing you play with the kids, you’re a great parent.

7. Share the load

“Sharing the responsibilities in a relationship is way more crucial than people realize. If one person is always the one picking up the socks off the floor, resentment can brew faster than instant coffee,” says Dr. Batra. 

If you’re wondering how to improve your marriage or live-in relationship, this tip is for you. Housework isn’t just about cleaning; it’s a love language. So, roll up your sleeves and dive into those chores. 

And they don’t always have to feel like chores, you can make it one of the ways to connect with your partner. Make it fun: race to see who can do dishes faster or put on some music and make folding laundry a dance-off. 

Related Reading: Sharing Household Chores And Responsibilities Equally In Marriage

8. Keep the mystery alive 

“Just because you’ve been together for years doesn’t mean you know everything about each other. Surprise them! Learn something new, share a hidden talent, or tell them a story they’ve never heard before,” says Dr. Batra

Think of it like a Netflix plot twist—just when they think they’ve got you figured out, bam, you surprise them. Just make sure the mystery doesn’t involve something like hiding their favorite snacks; that’s just cruel.

Related Reading: 40 Cute Things To Do With Your Girlfriend At Home

9. Talk about the future

Yes, weekend plans are great, but sometimes, you need to zoom out. Talk about your goals for the relationship, dreams, and what you want for your future together. It doesn’t have to be a serious, sit-down talk. It could happen while you’re both doing something casual, like walking the dog or making dinner. 

Dr. Batra explains, “The key is to stay connected and aligned on the bigger picture, even if that picture includes the dream of retiring in a tropical paradise.”

10. Embrace their quirks

Your partner’s quirks are what make them unique. So what if they have an irrational fear of clowns or insist on putting ketchup on their scrambled eggs? Embrace it, laugh about it, and love them for it. After all, you’ve got your quirks too, and they’re probably just as weird. 

Better yet, here’s how to increase love in a relationship: try out each other’s quirks. Maybe you will also end up liking pineapple on pizza, who knows? In any case, it will make a fun memory.

11. Learn to have healthy arguments

Disagreements are inevitable in a relationship. The longer you stay together, the greater the number of disagreements you have. But they don’t have to turn into full-blown wrestling matches. Instead of going for the emotional chokehold, be respectful, calm, and bring up well-thought-out points. 

So if you’re thinking about how to improve your marriage, here are some tips for having healthy arguments as suggested by Dr. Batra:

• Stick to the topic
• Avoid low blows
• Don’t bring up past actions
• When the argument’s over, shake hands (or hug it out) like true sportspeople
• Find ways to connect with your partner afterwards, such as a movie night
• Remember that it’s about resolving the issue, not winning the fight

“Argue like you’re in a debate club, not a WWE match” – Dr. Shefali Batra

By incorporating these tips into your relationship, you’re not only improving your connection but also adding a little bit of fun and humor along the way. After all, relationships thrive on love, laughter, and a shared commitment to making the relationship work—even when the going gets tough.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, relationships are weird, wonderful, and worth it. They’re not about perfection but about effort, humor, and a lot of love. You’ll have ups and downs, disagreements, and moments where you wonder why you ever agreed to share a bathroom. But if you remember to communicate, laugh, respect, and give each other space, you’ll find that the dance of a relationship is less about mastering the steps and more about enjoying the music—together.

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