Have you hurt someone so badly that you don’t know how to apologize to them? Some people say that we hurt the people we love the most. Truth be told, we hurt the people who love us the most. It’s when we can’t match up to their expectations from us that we end up hurting them. We may hurt someone either intentionally or unintentionally, but the thing we should always do is try to make amends and apologize sincerely. So, how to apologize to someone you hurt? How do you say sorry for hurtful things? Let us tell you about sincere and genuine ways to apologize and win the heart of anyone you may have hurt.
9 Sincere Ways To Apologize To Someone You Hurt
Saying hurtful things in a relationship or otherwise can leave behind an emotional scar on the person’s mind. You may never know how much you’ve hurt the person until you take responsibility for your actions. In relationships, couples have their ups and downs. They argue, fights can get ugly and they end up saying things they shouldn’t have had. However, doing or saying hurtful things can cause irreparable damage if nothing is done about it. If you want to apologize to someone, be sincere. Apologize only if you mean it, otherwise it will mean nothing to the person you’ve hurt and you will end up hurting them even further. That is why we have come up with 9 ways to apologize to your loved ones that are sincere and genuine.
1. Taking responsibility of your actions
One of the best ways to apologize to someone is to take responsibility for your actions. When the person you’re apologising to sees that you accept your mistake, they will begin to forgive you too. Don’t try to pass on the blame to someone else. If you’ve committed a mistake, be courageous enough to own it. There will always be conflicts, so have an understanding of conflict resolution. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t come with an apology, it comes with how sorry you feel for your actions. Don’t apologize because you have to, apologize because you mean to.
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. Forgiveness is the final act of love.”
2. Some honest gestures
They say that actions are louder than words.
A heartfelt gesture is hard to overlook, especially when you put in sincere efforts.
You could give them a handmade card or a bouquet with “I’m sorry” written. Sometimes, standing down on both knees and holding both ears does wonders. If it’s your partner you want to apologize to, making a homemade apology meal or doing their chores is not a bad idea. Remember not to give up till they forgive you.
Forgiveness doesn’t come easy. If they continue to ignore you, try double texting them. The best way to say sorry in a text is by sending them long and heartfelt messages till they reply. If the ticks turn blue each time you’re sending the texts, it means that it’s working.
Related Reading: 8 Ways to Reconnect After a Big Fight
3. Of all ways to apologize, trying to fix is the best
Imagine your good friend gifted you something which you didn’t like at all. At that time you pretended to like it and went on badmouthing about the gift to your other friends and your friend somehow came to know about it. At this point, you should treat that gift as your most prized possession, tell those friends that you liked the gift because your good friend gave it to you and apologize to your friend.
While this may not even be close to how worse your incident is, the thing is that sometimes we need to fix things to repair the damage caused by us. Seeking forgiveness by saying ‘Sorry’ can work well, but remember just an apology isn’t enough. Feelings matter more than materialistic aspects.
4. Apologize through a handwritten note
In the digital era with everyone glued to their phones, everything feels so impersonal. Sending them a handwritten apology letter for hurting will make them feel that they mean something to you. Your apology too, will feel sincere. Sending a handwritten apology note will make them recognize your effort sooner and they will appreciate it. It is also a good way to say sorry to someone you love. Make sure to pour your heart out in the note and not leave any detail. This could be your last chance at winning them back.
Related Reading: Real life ways to apologise without saying sorry
5. Let them know you realize your mistake
There could be times when the person you’ve hurt doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. Do not let this demotivate you. Instead, let them know that you feel sorry for your mistake and want to improve yourself for it. Try to talk to them through their friends and family by telling them how sorry you are. When they see how sorry and distraught you are because of the incident that happened, they will eventually soften up.
6. Show that you’re working on yourself
Sometimes what people want isn’t just an apology, they want to see whether you improve yourself or not. Imagine an alcoholic hurting his family by ranting away while he is drunk. What the family wants isn’t just an apology. They want him to stop drinking and become sober for them. The same way, show the person you’ve hurt, that you’re willing to improve yourself in order to show how sorry you are. Don’t just do it for the apology, do it because you mean it. Seeing you working towards becoming a better person will make them acknowledge your sincere efforts.
Related Reading: I Had Blind Faith In My Partner But Now I Can’t Trust Him
7. Assure them that you won’t do it again
Sometimes it takes longer for a person to forgive someone because of the fear that they will hurt them in the same way again. This fear makes it harder for them to forgive you even if they want to. One of the most genuine ways to apologize is to repeatedly ensure your loved one that the mistake won’t happen again. The person you have hurt may develop insecurity and trust issues.
You need to assure them that you won’t commit the same mistake again. This may take longer but you need to keep trying. Show them how terrible you feel about the incident and how it changed your perspective. Show them that you’re a changed person.
8. Talk to them
Communication is the key to all healthy relationships and friendships. Even if they don’t want to talk to you, wait for them to cool down and talk to them. During this conversation, don’t tell them where they went wrong. Apologize first and make them understand your perspective. If you don’t know how to apologize to them, sometimes just having an honest and sincere conversation with the person you’ve hurt helps a lot. It feels more personal and you both get a chance to talk about your perspective of the incident. Pick a quiet environment to have this conversation and make sure that there’s no one to interrupt. Keep talking about it till you both reach a solution.
9. Never give up
Many times we lose valuable people in our lives because we get tired of apologizing and eventually give up. Remember that if this person is important to you, you should not give up on them. If you regret hurting someone you love, you won’t give up till this person has forgiven you. Showing persistence in your apology will help them cool off faster. Some people remain mad at you even if they’ve mentally forgiven you. This is because they want to see whether you actually mean the apology and will make you work for it till you are able to gain their trust again.
When you apologise to someone you’ve hurt, there are instances where they don’t want to listen to anything you have to say. This will demotivate you and may induce self-hate too.
Remember, don’t let this get to you. If your efforts are sincere, they will forgive you. Though there are many ways to apologize, unless you are sincere in your apologies, it just won’t work.
You just need to remember, don’t give up. Another thing to remember is to not make any fake promises. Making fake promises will only give them false hopes and expectations which will hurt them even more when you’re unable to live up to them. Make sure not to commit the same mistake again, because trust once lost could be lost forever.