The silly question
‘How could I have forgotten!?’ is the silliest, most useless question a lot of people have to ask themselves after they realise, inevitably on the next day, that they have forgotten their anniversary.
This is nothing less than a crime in a relationship, at least for some people.
Don’t let the distance grow
Anniversaries are milestones to remember our commitment to each other. It is a time to take stock of where you’ve reached as a couple and forgetting that, though common, can be a sign of a distance that has been created between both of you. In order to not let the distance grow more, making sure that you get on top of the situation is important. Here are a few ways to do so.
The first and most important step is to apologise. This has to be a heartfelt apology and just slipping it in into a conversation will not do. It may seem like a small goof-up, but if you apologise sincerely, with words that express your regret, it will be the most apt thing you could give your partner. Apologies are awkward and difficult and our ego tends to play down our mistakes in handling those. This is why we must mean them when we deliver them. Your partner should not get the feeling that you’re saying sorry just to get past the problem. An apology is never a solution, but it is an opening to the solution.
Now we come to the real deal. Things that you can do to make up for the goof-up and reassure your lover.
Do I have to mention this specifically? Don’t we all try to apologise for working extra hard in the bedroom when we stumble? As clichéd as this may sound, having amazing sex, pleasing your partner even more than usual is the most common thing that people do when they are trying to make it up to their partners. There must be something to the cliché if it is the most common and popular method, isn’t it? So work extra hard, my people. Put in your best moves. Make sure your partner knows how sorry you are.
Read more: Women and their sex fantasies
All about that bling
Another cliché which might as well be called a classic! There’s a reason jewellery remains a popular form of apology. Humans have liked shiny things since they discovered them aeons ago and they work perfectly. Nothing says sorry like a diamond, they say. And unlike all the Bollywood and Hollywood schmucks, don’t ask your friend or assistant to pick out the jewellery. Go to the shop yourself. Put in the effort.
A series of small gifts
If you can’t afford jewellery or don’t want to do the clichéd thing, might I suggest something more intimate? A series of small but meaningful gifts might be the way to your lover’s heart. If you give them a day at a time and give them for the number of years you’ve been together, it might be even better. For example, if you forgot the 5th anniversary, give five gifts over the course of five days. It can be their favourite meal, passes to their favourite concert, a book they would like, a trip that you can take together. It has to be something personal and meaningful.
A trip for two
Taking your partner on a getaway, whether short or small, might be one way to go ahead when trying to make it up to them. A couples’ holiday gives you both time to just be together and brings the focus back to the relationship and not the million other things that day-to-day life throws at us. Going even on a small road trip could be an option. The idea is to make time away from your usual life, just for the two of you. If you have kids, find a friend who I’ll babysit them. Just get some alone time away from the crowd.
Make the next one grander
If you have read the book The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks, the author of The Notebook, you will know what I’m talking about. As ridiculously over the top and romanticised as the story might be, there’s a leaf to be taken out of that book. The whole book is written about this topic of forgetting the anniversary and making up for it. So read the book. And if you can’t or don’t want to, remember this. If you make the next anniversary a grander, more important occasion for each other, you will be able to wipe that memory off your partner’s mind. Not completely but just a little. Make sure you plan a big party or a surprise that they’ll not be able to forget. Buying flowers and gifts is okay, but that’s only part of the whole deal. Make an occasion out of the next anniversary.
Also, this should go without saying, but the first thing you must do is to set reminders for the rest of anniversaries for the next few decades. We live in the age of the smartphone. Let Google Calendar help you out.