The modern dating paradigm is awfully inclined toward temporary attachment. We are all more inclined toward the flight response than the fight response. Concepts like casual dating, one-night stands, no strings attached, etc. sound quite fun and exciting but they do take a toll on our commitment quotient.
We’ve become more like adrenaline junkies. As soon as the excitement starts to wear off, we start shaking with withdrawal symptoms. What if we think about how to keep a relationship exciting and interesting over the long term instead of running from it?
The excitement in relationships comes from effort and effort comes from love. Isn’t that the reason you’ve been tolerating each other for all this while? If you are one of those lucky ones who has found someone worth fighting for but you seem to have lost the fire, here is a guide on how to keep a relationship exciting.
14 Ways To Keep A Relationship Exciting
The first step would be to realize that the settling down of that elementary vigor is not necessarily a bad sign. You can often tell the ‘honeymoon phase‘ couples apart from the ones who have been at it for a while. The long-term couples seem to be more laid-back, don’t they? Gone are the days when you couldn’t take your hands off each other. No dressing up to impress, no butterflies, no rainbows, and no sunshine.
Okay, it is not that gloomy but on the contrary, their bond has developed into something more mature. According to a study conducted at Stony Brook University, New York in 2011, it is quite possible to be madly in love with someone even after decades of marriage. It suggests that the love and excitement can remain while the apprehension is lost. So, the battle is not lost yet. You can still bring the spark back.
Now that you’re all warmed up and are looking at your relationship in a new light, let us get into the fun stuff. Keeping this maturity of your love as a launching pad, let us discuss how we can ignite the engines to take your relationship into the cosmos of romance.
1. To reignite excitement in relationships, rediscover each other’s love languages
Most couples often don’t bother understanding how their partner prefers to show and receive love – also called their love language. If your relationship has started to feel stagnant, your ignorance of love languages could be why. Honest communication is the key here. If you both take this seriously, it would reveal some surprising stuff about you two. These revelations will not only give you a new perspective on the relationship but also help you understand each other better.
2. Start an open dialogue
As mentioned in the previous point, communication in relationships can open a lot of doors for your romance to come back in. You know that most problems in relationships have their roots entangled in miscommunication. Starting an open dialogue is a great way to negate this. Fix a time slot and spend at least 15 minutes with your partner to talk.
Avoid all distractions and commit to those few moments together. You’d be surprised how difficult it would seem in the beginning. It will be like meditating but instead of being in your head, you’ll be with your partner in communication. It is essential that you both take turns while speaking. Beware, this will not be as easy as it sounds. Nonetheless, this is the perfect answer to how to keep a relationship exciting when living together or apart.
3. Find things to do together
One of the reasons that relationships lose their essence is the lack of quality time together. As time passes, we tend to take each other lightly and stop giving the relationship its well-deserved time. We tend to forget the fact that relationships require more effort toward maintenance than what was required in the beginning.
We suggest you get back to doing the things you used to love doing together. Like Shelley and Dennis revived their marriage by opting to play tennis as a day-time hobby in the fourth episode of the beautiful series, Modern Love. The episode is rightly titled ‘Rallying to keep the game alive’ as they start an upward journey toward finding themselves again by doing little things together.
Related Reading: 10 Activities To Spice Up Things With Your Partner Today!
4. Be physically intimate
As the relationship grows with time, couples tend to overlook the small acts of physical intimacy. The holding of hands, the long, warm hugs, forehead kisses, and the cuddles – they don’t seem as important anymore. But they are. A new set of studies published in the journal Physiology & Behavior suggests that non-sexual touch plays an important role in stress relief and relaxation.
You might wonder how to keep a long-distance relationship exciting if physical intimacy is so important. Physical intimacy is not just about actual touch but about feeling the presence of your partner. Regular video calls and occasional meetings can do the trick if both partners are equally invested.
5. Take trips together
Nothing liberates the souls like travel does. Just like we have different love languages, we all have different travel languages too. We are sure you must have planned plenty of trips with your partner. But after the trip, do you feel liberated? Do you even go on the trip, or do you just plan and procrastinate?
Here’s our tip on how to keep a relationship exciting. You need to understand how your partner prefers to travel and then align it with your preferences. Or you can take turns and travel in each of your preferred styles alternatively. The idea is to feel liberated and content when you head out exploring the world together.
Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why You Should Travel With Your Partner
6. Date again
The best way to revive the lost spark is to relive the best of times. What can beat the feeling of that honeymoon phase? We understand that the butterflies in your stomach will not be fluttering as they used to, but that is the whole point.
Say, you start by reliving your first date. You dress up and do everything as you did back then. The same venue, same time, even the same outfits. Imagine how much fun it would be to go down the nostalgia lane together. Remind each other where it all began and what made you fall for this person. And make dates a regular part of your life together.
According to a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, going on exciting dates promotes closeness and self-expansion in established relationships. With science on your side, just go for it!
7. How to keep a relationship exciting over text? Use the power of words, literally
Do you remember how a text notification from that special someone used to make your heart smile? Or reading a letter or postcard for the old-school folks. Over time, the cute, sexy, and cheesy texts turned into grocery lists and formal one-liners. Are you wondering how to keep a relationship exciting over text all over again?
Let us bring that magic back. Words are the pixie dust, use them! A simple text to your partner saying “Hey, I was driving to work and our song came up and reminded me of you. I love you!” will mend some of your problems. That’s solid advice on how to keep a relationship interesting for a girl or a boy.
8. Go back to surprising each other
Do you know why cute surprises get to us all? It is because they represent love and care. When we experience an unexpected shower of these goodies, our heart feels like it belongs. Sometimes, we tend to undermine these gestures as time passes.
Let us give you an example. If you are wondering how to keep a relationship interesting for a guy, here is how a simple surprise can make his day. Let’s say you drop by his workplace, bringing him his favorite coffee right about the time he usually takes his coffee break. Imagine how elated he would be to have you take him away from his hectic work life, even if it is just for a few minutes.
Related Reading: 50 Cute Notes For Him That Would Surprise Your Man Everyday
9. Get out of your comfort zones
Now, this is a tricky one. But as all risk and reward ratios go, this could prove to have some firepower to reignite your romance. Mike, who is a big-time celebrity agent in LA, just showed up at his partner Donna’s doorstep one Saturday and took her on a road trip to Vegas. He shares, “We always planned to go on a spontaneous trip but never made it because of our busy schedules until I had had enough of the dullness. It was the best time we had spent together in years. We found out how to keep a relationship interesting — by getting out of our comfort zone.”
So plan things that you don’t usually do. It could be something that your partner does but you never accompany them on, such as morning runs. Or it could be something neither of you thought you’d do, like enrolling in a salsa workshop.
10. Tell them what they mean to you
When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you assume that your partners know that you love them. We don’t see a point in reminding them how loved they are. You’d say, “Isn’t it obvious, that we’ve been together for 10 years now.” But herein lies the reason for the dissipating flame.
How to keep a relationship exciting? Positive reinforcement is the key. Just like our bodies need regular nutrition to function optimally, our relationships require frequent reinforcement too. You can’t say that you don’t need food today because you had it a week ago, right? If you love someone, tell them! Tell your partner how much they mean to you, what about them makes you love them even after all these years.
11. How to make your relationship exciting again? Sex it up
Physical attraction is a major factor in most relationships. Gradual loss of physical intimacy is one of the first signs that your relationship needs a revamp. This is especially common in long-term relationships. Couples tend to stick to their tried-and-tested practices and eventually, even sex becomes monotonous.
Sex it up a little, folks. It is supposed to bring you pleasure, excitement, and fulfillment. Try out new things. There are plenty of things you can do to spice things up in the bedroom. So, skip the vanilla and try chocolate, cookie n cream, or even American nuts.
12. Are you best friends?
We are our most comfortable selves with our closest friends. An ideal romantic partner is a best friend with whom we connect on a physical, emotional, and intellectual level. Think about it, isn’t that why you chose to be in a relationship with your partner in the first place?
Now ask yourself, do you still feel like you two are best friends? If there is even the slightest doubt, you need to address that immediately. You wouldn’t want to spend your life without the inside jokes, complete acceptance, and just the overall fun of companionship, would you? A boring relationship can still be saved if your other half is your best friend.
Related Reading: 10 Ways To Become Best Friends With Your Spouse
13. Forgive your partner
We are not insinuating that your partner is at fault for the dullness of your relationship. What we mean is that we often bury small issues to avoid unnecessary conflicts. When left unattended, these small pebbles accumulate to become a big rock threatening to crush the relationship. We unknowingly start distancing ourselves from our partners.
So we suggest you find it in your heart and forgive your significant other. You can even try and take professional help. It is crucial that you identify the fissures. As you attend to them and weed them out, you will be able to create a space where your love for your partner can grow freely.
14. Spend some time apart
Sometimes, when nothing else works, it is best we pause and zoom out. Confused? What we mean is that sometimes we try too hard, but the situation doesn’t seem to improve or worsen. At this juncture, it is best to take a break from trying and take a step back. This is where the power of detachment comes into play. Taking time apart in a relationship can work wonders sometimes.
The time you spend apart will help you assess your current situation, see your partner and relationship in a new light, think about the strategies you deployed, and come up with a better way to make things better. This is probably the toughest answer to how to keep a relationship exciting.
- As a relationship grows, it is normal to hit a phase of stagnancy
- It is vital that both partners are willing to reignite the excitement
- There is no alternative to having an open and honest communication
- Spending quality time together is basically the one-stop solution for all relationship problems
- The best way to rekindle the spark is to go back and find things that made it special for you both and try to build a plan from there
Keeping a relationship healthy and blossoming is a constant effort. Just as we all evolve with the passage of time, so do our relationships. The bottom line is that if the partners involved are invested emotionally, physically, and mentally, no matter what phase of evolution your relationship is going through, you will always prevail.
The first thing that you’d want to do when you’re trying to fix your relationship is to change your attitude. You should look at the current juncture as the base for the relationship to grow. Once you have accepted this fact, you can try out things like starting an open dialogue, surprising each other, or bedtime games. We have listed down 14 ways you can reignite the spark in your relationship in this article.
When we begin a relationship, there is a lot of excitement because there is a lot we want to explore. So, why do we stop feeling the same excitement after some time has passed? It is because we have become complacent and have stopped exploring and thus, stopped growing. So to bring back the spark, we need to keep exploring ourselves, our relationships, and our lives.
When a relationship hits a phase of stagnancy, it is very normal to feel a loss of excitement. Most relationships that survive this test of time, end up becoming stronger and even more exciting. Like our bodies, our relationships require regular nourishment too. Even if a relationship has hit a wall, if both partners are invested in making it work, they can surely find ways to revive the excitement. There are 14 such ways listed in this article.