There is a big difference between dating a real man and dating a boy, or worse still a man child. So if you’re in a relationship, it’s important to ascertain which category your significant other falls into. A man brings a stable, strong and consistent partnership to the table whereas a boy is often too consumed by his own wants, needs and desires to offer anything of value to their partner or the relationship. Needless to say, if you’re looking for longterm commitment and stability, you’d want to want to be with the former. That’s why knowing the difference between a boy and a man in a relationship is vital for its future.
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10 Signs You’re Dating A Boy Not A Man
We all want a life partner with whom we can build a meaningful relationship and not someone in constant need of babysitting. A lot of us actually end up doing the opposite. In such relationships, we end up being the ones making all the compromises and even acting as a parent-figure to our partner. Knowing what separates a boy from a man is half the battle won in making the right choice. Here are 10 signs you’re dating a boy not a man that you need to take note of to set the course of your relationship choices on the right path:
1. He runs away from responsibilities
Companionship and responsibility work hand in hand. Try and find out whether your guy is capable of taking up responsibilities in times of distress or buckles under pressure. Actions speak louder than words and it is these little details that separate a boy from a man.
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2. He is not a one-woman man
Boys are flirtatious and gullible. They flirt, they cheat, and then come back to you all teary-eyed and sorry about their transgressions. The difference between a boy and a man in a relationship is that a man will stick by you and honour his commitment to you. He is not easily swayed by childish impulses.
3. He’s insecure
If your partner is always unnecessarily insecure about you around other men, it’s a clear sign you’re dating a boy not a man. A mature, evolved man is confident, which makes it possible for him to trust his partner effortlessly and feel secure in his relationship. Boys often grapple with unreasonable jealousy, which they justify with the most absurd reasons.
4. He’s indecisive
How many of you have been bothered by boyfriends who are always confused? If he has myriad questions about the most insignificant, routine things, how do you expect him to cope with important, life-changing decisions? A clear difference between dating a real man and dating a boy is indecisiveness. A person who develops cold feet whenever he’s required to step up and make a decision is far from being a mature, responsible adult. If that description aptly fits your partner, you know you’re with a boy.
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5. He’s emotionally immature
You feel exhausted by his constant need for attention. He’s a bad listener and a big talker. He plays emotional games just to ‘test’ you ever now and then, and throws a hissy fit whenever things don’t go his. Using a condom goes against his inflated sense of machismo. If your partner checks all these boxes, you have got the signs you’re dating a boy not a man.
6. He is known to act on impulse
One of the things that separate a boy from a man is the inability to think their actions through. A boy is more likely to live for the moment and act on his impulses, throwing all caution to the wind – something a mature adult who’s been through the grind of life never would. If he buys those expensive shoes even though he doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from, quits a job just because he feels ‘done with it’, drinks more than he can handle and gets into trouble for it, your partner is a long way from becoming a strong, reliable man you can lean on for love and support.
7. He lacks professional stability
Boys often oscillate between jobs, and at times, don’t even think twice before quitting a job without securing the next one. They have these idealistic ideas about freedom and revolution. Men persevere and work their way through the up and downs of their professional journey. Naturally, the former grapple with professional instability, which can, in turn, become a trigger for unpredictable behaviour. This can lead to bitterness in the relationship.
8. He has an inflated ego
A key difference between a boy and a man in a relationship is that boy value their egos way more than they value their partners. These kids would never let their ego falter, even at the expense of their relationship. Their masculinity is way too much in your face and they hold a grudge against you even for the smallest of reasons. Real men sort out misunderstandings without bickering and quarrelling. There don’t resort to flamboyance to feel good about themselves either.
9. He struggles with your intellect
Another difference between dating a real man and dating a boy is that the former would value your thoughts and appreciate your intellectual instincts, and work toward establishing intellectual intimacy in the relationship. A boy, on the other hand, struggles to make his peace with the fact the woman he is with has a mind of her own. If you often feel that your opinion isn’t valued or find yourself at the receiving end of a lot of passive-aggressive mansplaining, it’s may well be because your partner is just a boy who can’t handle your intellect.
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10. He’s selfish in bed
If all your sexual escapades are about his pleasure and his desires, you’re definitely with a boy still has a lot to learn about relationships and intimacy. Why should it fall upon you to teach him the ropes? A real man knows that sex is a two-way street, and your satisfaction matter as much as his.
So if you are in such a relationship, re-evaluate your choices before it’s too late. If not, then keep these tell-tale signs in mind when you’re dating to make sure the man of your dream is a real man.