Malangizo 11 Akatswiri Oti Musiye Kutengeka ndi Winawake

Kodi mungasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi munthu? Ngati ndizomwe zikukudetsani nkhawa lero, zikutanthauza kuti tikuyenera kutsata kutengeka kosayenera. Chifukwa chakuti khalidwe lotengeka maganizo silingakupindulitseni m’moyo watsiku ndi tsiku kapena muubwenzi. Ziribe kanthu zomwe chikhalidwe cha pop chimanena, kukhala ndi munthu wokhala m'mutu mwanu 'kwaulere' sikosangalatsa. Kutengeka mtima kumatha kuchitika kwakanthawi kochepa, kumabweretsa mavuto ochulukirapo kwa munthu yemwe ali ndi chidwi komanso zomwe amasirira.

Inu mutiuze. Pamene nthawi zonse mumaganiza (kapena ndinu wozembera?) za munthu wina yemwe angamve kapena kusamva chimodzimodzi, kodi izi zimasiya kuti kudzidalira kwanu kapena moyo wanu? Kukambirana pankhaniyi kukukhala kofunika kwambiri pofika nthawi yathu ya digito, yomwe mosazindikira imakulitsa khalidwe losokoneza bongo. Kotero, ndi zizindikiro zotani za kukhala ndi malingaliro okhwima pa munthu wina?

M'nkhaniyi, tikambirana mbali zosiyanasiyana za kutengeka maganizo ndi zidziwitso zochokera kwa akatswiri a zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (MSc Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito pa CBT, REBT, komanso upangiri wamabanja. Tiyeni tiyambe ulendo uwu wa chidziwitso ndi kuchira. Ngakhale kuti zinthu zingapo zingakhale zovuta kuti mugwirizane nazo, werengani mpaka kumapeto kuti mudziwe momwe mungalekerere kutengeka ndi munthu. Tikulonjeza kuti tidzakupangitsani kukhala koyenera.

Kodi obsessive love disorder ndi chiyani?

Kutengeka mtima kungachitike m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Kwenikweni ndi mkhalidwe umene mantha, kukumbukira, kapena kusweka mtima kwina kumakopa chidwi cha munthu ndi malingaliro ake kufikira kumlingo umene munthuyo amalephera kuika maganizo ake pa china chirichonse. M'nkhani zachikondi, zimagwirizana ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi kuzolowera 'kuphwanya' kumeneku. Mzere pakati pa chikondi ndi kutengeka mtima ukuwoneka kuti ukusokonekera ndipo wina amatenga malingaliro okhutitsidwawa a chikondi chenicheni.

Mkhalidwe wotero wamaganizo wa kukhala wotengeka mwachikondi ndi winawake mpaka kuchititsa kusakhazikika kwamalingaliro kumatchedwanso limerence. Komabe, Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) sinagawidwe ngati matenda amisala chifukwa sanatchulidwe mu Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, kope lachisanu (DSM-5), buku lofalitsidwa ndi American Psychiatric Association. Ochita kafukufuku ndapeza kuti ndizovuta kwambiri chifukwa anthu osachepera 0.1% amakumana ndi izi ndipo pazifukwa zosadziwika bwino, OLD ndi yochuluka kwambiri pakati pa amayi kusiyana ndi amuna.

Akatswiri a zamaganizo sangathe kuyika chala chawo pazifukwa zinazake zomwe zimayambitsa vutoli. Komabe, zimalumikizidwa ndi zovuta zina zambiri zamaganizidwe. Kotero, nchiyani chimayambitsa kutengeka ndi munthu?

• Kutengeka kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumayamba ndi chilakolako chopambanitsa kapena kutengeka maganizo mopambanitsa ndi munthu mmodzi
• Zomwe zimayambitsa kutengeka mtima kumeneku nthawi zambiri zimayambira pamayendedwe amunthu komanso zomwe adakumana nazo paubwana wake. Studies wonetsani kuti mawonekedwe ophatikizika amawu nthawi zambiri amanenedweratu ngati OLD
• Zoyambitsa zina ndi kupwetekedwa mtima m'mbuyomu, kuopa kusiyidwa, kusokonezeka kwa umunthu, ndi matenda ena amisala omwe amasokoneza malingaliro amunthu ndikuwapangitsa kukhala otanganidwa muubwenzi wawo.
• Zikhalidwe zina za chikhalidwe ndi chikhalidwe zitha kukhalanso ndi udindo kwa munthu kukhala ndi malingaliro opitilira muyeso za wina
• Ngati munakulira mukukhulupirira kuti chikondi ndi umwini ndipo kuti mnzanuyo akuyenera kuchita chilichonse kuti atsimikizire chikondi chake kwa inu, ndiye kuti ndizotheka kuti ndinu okonda movutikira m'chibwenzi chongokakamira.

Kodi Zizindikiro Zoti Mumakonda Munthu Ndi Chiyani?

Tisanakambirane njira zosiyanasiyana zopewera kutengeka ndi munthu, m'pofunika kumvetsetsa zomwe kutengeka kumatanthauza ndi maonekedwe ake. Amadziwika ndi makhalidwe enaake ndi malingaliro. Kuchokera kusokoneza zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku mpaka kuthera nthawi yochuluka pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti mpaka kukhala ndi moyo wodzidalira komanso nsanje yamphamvu - Matenda achikondi osasamala amakhudza anthu mosiyana pazochitika zilizonse.

Nandita akufotokoza kuti, "Pali zizindikiro zingapo zoyambirira zomwe munthu angayang'ane nazo. Zonse zimayamba ndi kuchuluka kwa nthawi yomwe mumathera poganizira za iwo kapena kukhala nawo. Malingaliro otengeka amakhala ovuta kwambiri ndipo amasokoneza thanzi lanu - Zimakhudza momwe mumadyera, kumwa, kugona, ndi ntchito. Ndi bwino kukumbukira zizindikiro zochenjeza za kutengeka ndi munthu. "

Nanga ndi zoona bwanji? Kudziphunzitsa nokha za psychology yomwe imayambitsa kutengeka ndi chikondi ndikofunika - Kumakutetezani kuti musatengeke ndi zizolowezi zoipa ndikukuthandizani kuti mukhalenso olamulira m'moyo. Tiyeni tiwone mwachangu zizindikiro izi tisanakambirane momwe mungasiye kutengeka ndi munthu amene mumamukonda:

1. Nsanje ndi khalidwe lolamulira

Ndani mwa ife amene sanakhale chilombo chamaso obiriwira kamodzi m'moyo wathu? Ngakhale kuti nsanje ndikumverera kwachibadwa, kutengeka mtima kumawonjezera kuwirikiza kakhumi. Mwachitsanzo, chinthu chimene mumasirira ndicho kulankhula ndi munthu wokongola. Mudzazindikira nthawi yomweyo chiwopsezo ndikulingalira zovuta kwambiri. Motsogozedwa ndi kufunika kowasunga kwa inu nokha, mudzaphwanya malire abwino, zimasokoneza moyo wawo, ndikuwononganso kukhazikika kwanu m'malingaliro.

Izi zitha kuwoneka m'njira zazing'ono poyambira - kuwakwiyira anthu ena kapena kufalitsa mphekesera. Koma m’kupita kwa nthawi, izi zikhoza kusintha n’kuyamba kuwaletsa kulankhula ndi ena. Mwachidule, nsanje yoopsa ndi kufunika kolamulira moyo wa wina ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zazikulu zokhazikika pa wina. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Limerence Ndi Chikondi Chapoizoni? Zizindikiro 7 Zomwe Zimatero

2. Kuzembera ndi kuyang'anira zochita zawo

Pogwiritsa ntchito kwambiri malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, anthu amangotengeka ndi zinthu mosavuta. Kutengera zizolowezi zanu zoyipa kwambiri, intaneti ndiyothandiza pakuzolowera kwanu. Izi zimasiya anthu ambiri akufunsa kuti, "Nthawi zonse ndimaganizira za munthu woyamba amene ndinakumana naye pa pulogalamu ya zibwenzi.

Nandita akuti, “Kuyang’anira munthu n’kosavuta masiku ano – malo ake, zochita zake, zithunzi zake, ndi zina zotero, n’zosavuta kumva. Kuyenda mlengalenga sichiyenera kutengedwa mopepuka pankhani ya kutengeka maganizo.”

Ngati mupeza zochulukira muzochitika pamaakaunti anu ochezera, musadabwe kwambiri. Izi ndi njira zopezeka zambiri za munthu yemwe mukufuna. Kupatula zochitika zenizeni, kukhala ndi malingaliro opitilira muyeso kungayambitsenso zinthu zochulukirachulukira monga kutsatira anthu kapena kuyesera kulankhula nawo mosalekeza. 

3. Kukhudzidwa mtima kwambiri ndi chizindikiro cha kutengeka maganizo

Virginia Woolf analemba kuti, "Kukhumudwa kulikonse kumayenderana ndi misala." Kutengeka maganizo kumakhudza kwambiri thanzi lanu. Mtima wanu umalumikizidwa ndi zochita za munthu winayo. Ngati atakutulutsani muli gulu, ndiye kuti mukudandaula kwa masiku angapo. Ngati atumiza meseji, mukusangalala poyesa kulumikizana. Pamene chimwemwe chanu chidalira munthu wina kotheratu, chimadzetsa tsoka. 

Vuto lalikulu lotengeka ndi munthu ndi loti umalephera kudziletsa. Simungaleke kuganiza za iwo kwa kamphindi, kukhala osungulumwa pamene palibe, ndipo chifukwa chake, thanzi lanu lamaganizo limayamba kugwedezeka. Mukuiwala momwe mungadzikonde nokha paokha. Zikatero, zimakhala zofunikira kudziwa momwe mungalekerere kutengeka ndi munthu amene sakukondani.

4. Kuyesera kulankhulana kosalekeza 

Kodi mudawavutitsa ndi malemba? Kapena mupange chowiringula kuti muwaone nokha? Simungadikire kuti muwaone, sichoncho? Ndikukhulupirira kuti mukuzindikira momwe izi ziliri zopanda thanzi (komanso zosasangalatsa). Mukuyika moyo wanu wabwino komanso moyo wanu waumwini ndi wantchito pachiwopsezo. Chizindikiro chachikulu cha kutengeka maganizo, kuyesera kulankhulana kosalekeza ndi kovulaza kwa wofalitsa ndi wolandira.

Nandita akufotokoza kuti: “Munthu ukakhala m’maganizo mwako nthawi zonse, sungathe kugwira bwino ntchito. zoyembekeza zosatheka, kukhumudwa kwambiri kumabuka. Koma sali okakamizika kukwaniritsa ziyembekezo zanu kapena kukupangitsani kukhala wosangalala.” Njira yabwino yomvetsetsa chizindikiro ichi cha kutengeka ndikukumbukira chiwonetsero chodziwika bwino, Inu. Joe Goldberg ndi chitsanzo chowala cha kukonda komwe kwapita patali. 

Tikukhulupirira kuti izi zakuthandizani kuwunika ndi chidziwitso chochulukirapo pazomwe zimayambitsa kutengeka ndi munthu, komanso momwe mungadziwire zizindikiro za OLD. Kodi mukuwonetsa zina mwa izi? Chabwino, mutha kukhala otsimikiza tsopano - Gawo lotsatira limathetsa mavuto akulu ndikukupatsani malangizo 11 amomwe mungasinthire chidwi ndi wakale kapena kusweka kapena okondana naye. Ena a iwo akuyenera kudina nanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 8 Zomveka Zothana ndi Kukanidwa Mwachikondi

Momwe Mungalekere Kutengeka ndi Winawake - Malangizo 11 Akatswiri

Tsopano popeza mwamvetsetsa tanthauzo la kutengeka, titha kupita ku gawo lowongolera zowonongeka. Pali funso limodzi m'maganizo mwathu: Kodi mungasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi munthu? Mukamawerenga njira zochiritsirazi, kumbukirani kuti palibe wotchi yomwe ili m'malo mwake - Mutha kuyigwiritsa ntchito pamayendedwe anu komanso nthawi yanu. Machiritso sakhala amtundu uliwonse komanso samakhala bwino.

Osayandikira njira izi kuchokera pamalo a kudzida nokha mu ubale wanu. Gwiritsitsani ku cholinga chodzifunira nokha zinthu zabwino. Sinthani zofunika kuchoka kwa munthu wina kupita kwa inu nokha. Kenako, dutsani m'njira 11 izi zomwe zimakuphunzitsani momwe mungasiye kutengeka ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda, kudana naye, kapena kusamudziwa. Pumirani mozama ndipo tiyeni tiyesetse kukhala ndi chikondi chathanzi kuchokera kumalingaliro osayenera:

1. Ikani pambali magalasi a rose-tinted ndikuchotsa munthu ameneyo

Yankho lanu la "Chifukwa chiyani ndimakonda anthu?" zagona m’chakuti pali chizoloŵezi cha mbali ziwiri chofuna kulemekeza ndi kukonda munthu amene akufunsidwayo. Amakhala opanda chilema m'maso mwanu ndipo mumachita chidwi ndi nyenyezi. Zolakwa zawo zimaonedwa kuti n’zomveka chifukwa chakuti akhala Mulungu wosagonjetseka. Inu simumayima kutsutsidwa kulikonse kotsutsa iwo. 

• Chifukwa chake, njira yabwino yosiyira kutengeka ndi munthu amene mumamukonda ndiyo kumuwona kuchokera pagalasi lolunjika
• Aoneni ngati anthu ochimwa amene amalakwa monga tonsefe
• Kodi ndi amwano kwa operekera zakudya kapena osunga ndalama? Kodi ali ndi vuto laukali? Kapena amangotengera ma social media?
• Kusamalira zolakwa zawo kapena chikhalidwe chawo kudzakuthandizani kuwazindikira mofanana
• Lekani kulungamitsa mbendera zofiira za izi munthu wamalingaliro osapezeka amene mukuganiza kuti mumamukonda. Ngati akukhumudwitsani, sikuyenera kuthera nthawi
• Kodi nthawi zonse amakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kuti asayankhe foni yanu? Kodi amakulepheretsani nthawi zambiri? Tengani lingaliro. Sali odzipereka mopambanitsa pa ntchito yawo; simunafike pamndandanda wawo woyamba

2. Kuti muchotse kuganiza mopambanitsa, yang'anani mu katundu wanu wamalingaliro

Mfundo ina ya mmene mungalekerere kutengeka ndi munthu ndi Nandita: “Kutengeka maganizo kumasonyeza kuti muli ndi mavuto aakulu kwambiri mwa inu nokha. katundu wamalingaliro. Zitha kukhala chifukwa chodzikayikira, kupwetekedwa mtima kosathetsedwa, kapena zokumana nazo zoyipa za ubale wakale. Muzu wa kutengeka kwanu uli kwinakwake ndipo ndikofunikira kuti mufufuze ndikupeza chomwe chiri. ”

• M'malo mopereka mphamvu zanu kwa munthu amene sakubwezerani mmene mukumvera, yang'anani mkati ndikuwona pamene zinthu zikulakwika.
• Palibe amene amaika anthu ena ofunika kwambiri popanda chifukwa - Yesani kuyankha 'chifukwa chiyani' chazovuta zanu kuti musiye kuganiza za 'kuphwanya' uku.
• Kodi mungasiye bwanji kukhala otanganidwa muubwenzi? Khalani nokha ndikuyang'ana machitidwe kapena machitidwe anu
• Pitani ku makina anu othandizira, anzanu, ndi okondedwa anu. Monga wina akuwona mkhalidwe wanu patali, akhoza kukupatsani chidziwitso chosangalatsa pakulimbana kwanu
• Kudzifufuza nokha ndi kudziwa umunthu wanu wamkati ndi sitepe yanzeru yopita patsogolo. Iyi ndi njira imodzi yopewera kutengeka ndi munthu amene sakukondani

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa 5, Zizindikiro 13 Za Ubale Wambali Imodzi Ndi Zoyenera Kuchita Pazo

3. Sungani mtunda wakuthupi ndi pafupifupi 

Wowerenga wochokera ku Milwaukee analemba kuti, "Anali mnzanga m'kalasi kuyambira kusukulu ya pulayimale koma tinkangodziwana patali. Ndakhala ndikukumana naye nthawi zambiri. Nditakumana naye pazochitika zaposachedwapa, ndinazindikira kuti sindikanatha kulimbana ndi vutoli. M'masabata akubwerawa, ndinayang'ana pa Instagram yake, ndinapeza malo ake ogwira ntchito, ndipo nthawi zambiri ndinkapita ku cafe kuti ndithamangire kwa iye. maganizo anu?”

• Monga tanena kale, kutengeka kwakhala kosavuta m'dziko lathu laukadaulo. Kodi ichi si chifukwa chake anthu amanena muyenera kumuletsa ex wanu?
• Kuchotsa akaunti yapaintaneti ya munthu ndi chisankho chanzeru
• Zimakulepheretsani kukhala ndi malingaliro obwerezabwereza, kupanga zisankho mopupuluma, kapena kuchita zinthu motengera kutengeka kwanu
• Kodi mungasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi mnyamata/msungwana ngati mumakhala pafupi nawo? Muyenera kusiya chikhumbo chosaletseka chofuna kuwagwera mwachisawawa kapena kutsatira mayendedwe awo ali kutali
• Simungathe kuletsa maganizo otengeka ponena za munthu pokhapokha mutaika mtunda pakati pa inu ndi inu

4. Dalirani anthu omwe mumacheza nawo kuti musiye kutengeka ndi munthu amene mumamukonda

Anzanu ndi abale anu angakuthandizeni kuti muchiritsidwe kwambiri pamene mukuyesera kudziwa momwe mungasankhire munthu wina. Nandita akufotokoza kuti, “Kulankhula ndi achibale anu nthaŵi zonse kumathandiza. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu kwa bwenzi kapena kholo lanu.

Komanso, mudzamvera malangizo operekedwa ndi mnzanu kapena wachibale wanu. Chitetezo chanu chidzatsitsidwa ndipo mutha kuwona mfundo yomwe akuyesera kupanga. Kambiranani mochokera pansi pa mtima ndi kuwauza chomwe chavuta kwenikweni. Adzakhala thanthwe lanu pamene mukuyenda panyanja zamkunthozi. Kwa anthu onse odzipatulira omwe akuganiza kuti angasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi munthu wakale kapena momwe angasiyire kuganiza mozama, iyi ndi njira yabwino yothetsera vuto lanu.

5. Sinthani mphamvu zanu kwina

Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe munthu angachite ndi nthawi yake - Kutenga zokonda zatsopano, kuphunzira chilankhulo, kukumana ndi anthu atsopano, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kusonkhanitsa zochitika zatsopano, ndi zina zotero. M'malo mozunguliza mutu wanu ndi malingaliro onga akuti, "Ndimakuda koma ndimakukondani. Sindingasiye kumakuganizirani," muyenera kusintha mphamvu zanu ndikuziwongolera kuzinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukula. Ngati chinachake sichikupangitsani inu kukhala munthu wabwino, musachite izo. Nazi zina zomwe mungayese m'malo mwake:

• Tengani nthawi yowerenga zakale kapena kumvetsera nyimbo zabwino kwambiri
• Ganizirani za thanzi lanu komanso thanzi lanu
• Phunzirani luso la moyo watsopano
• Phunzirani zomwe mumakonda kapena pangani zatsopano

Ngati mumangotengeka ndi zinthu mosavuta, zigwiritseni ntchito kuti zikuthandizeni. Yang'anani kwambiri pakukhala mtundu wabwino kwambiri wa inu nokha. Izi zidzakwaniritsa zinthu ziwiri. Choyamba, mudzakhala otanganidwa ndi zina osati zomwe mumakonda. Kachiwiri, pamene mukufufuza zinthu zatsopano ndi madera, mudzadziganizira nokha. Ndipotu, pali zambiri ubwino wokhala wosakwatiwa! Mukuwona zomwe tikunena? 

6. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri kuti musinthe

Njira yabwino yopitira patsogolo ndi chithandizo - Chithandizo cha maanja ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi ubale wabwino wopanda nkhawa. Ndilo gawo lochepa lothandizira komanso lowongolera. Funsani dokotala wanu, "Ndimakonda kwambiri munthu yemwe sindingathe kukhala naye. Chifukwa chiyani ndimadzizunza ndi malingaliro olakwika?" Popeza kuti kutengeka maganizo ndi njira yosagwira ntchito bwino yoganizira zinthu, kuchokapo n'kovuta. Chifukwa ngati sichinachiritsidwe poyambira, kutengeka mtima kungayambitse kukhumudwa kwambiri, kuda nkhawa, kusokonezeka kwa umunthu, kapena zovuta zina zamaganizidwe.

Nandita akuti, "Ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungasiyire kutengeka ndi munthu, uphungu kapena Chidziwitso Chachidziwitso Chachidziwitso Chachidziwitso cha Makhalidwe Abwino chingakhale chothandiza kwambiri. Wothandizira amakuthandizani kuzindikira kutengeka kwanu ndi kumene kumachokera. Pang'onopang'ono, mumagwirira ntchito pamodzi. Katswiri amakupatsani njira zingapo zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito. Ngati mupitirizabe kuzigonjetsa, mudzazigonjetsa." Monga mukudziwa, alangizi aluso ndi ovomerezeka pa Gulu la Bonobology ali nthawi zonse chifukwa cha inu.

7. Dzichitireni chifundo

Ichi ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri kukumbukira, makamaka ngati nthawi zambiri mumadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi chibwenzi changa?" kapena “Motani choka kwa munthu amene umamukondabe?” Pamene mukuyesera kuthetsa kutengeka kwanuko, pangakhale kubwereranso ndi mphindi zina za kufooka kotero, kodi mungaleke kutengeka ndi munthu wina kotheratu pamene mukuyesetsa, yankho limakhala lakuti “inde” wotsimikizirika. Nandita akufotokoza izi:

• Osamangodzinenera zoipa kapena kudzudzula zochita zanu
• Sibwino kulakwitsa bola muyesetse kuzikonza ndikuphunzirapo kanthu
• Musataye chiyembekezo. Mudzatuluka mu gawo ili m'moyo wanu, ngakhale chiyembekezo chikuwoneka ngati chopanda chiyembekezo pakali pano
• Dzichepetseni nokha pamene mukuyesera kuti musiye kutengeka ndi munthu amene mumamukonda
• Palibe amene anakhala bwino akudzida
• Dzichepetseni nokha ndipo khalani olimbikira pakuchita kwanu
• Nyadirani kupita patsogolo komwe mwachita, ngakhale kucheperako

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chikondi Kapena Chilakolako: Kodi Kusiyana Ndi Chiyani Ndi Njira 8 Zodziwira Zomwe Mukumva

8. Yesetsani kukhala osamala kuti musiye kutengeka maganizo

Chinsinsi chosiya chikondi chokhazikika chimabisika kuseri kwa chinsinsi cha kulingalira. Kukhala pamtendere ndi inu nokha ndikofunikira pakuchiritsa. Pali zosankha zambiri zomwe muli nazo monga luso laukadaulo kapena kupanga nyimbo. Chilichonse chomwe chimakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi chidwi chamkati ndichofunikira. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe mungayesere ngati mukuvutikira lekani kukonda munthu amene sakukondani ndipo musaiwale za iwo:

• Pezani mwambo wodekha ndikuumirira kwa mwezi umodzi
• Yesani kusinkhasinkha kapena yoga
• Yesetsani kulemba zolemba tsiku lililonse
• Yesani luso lamankhwala kuti mukhazikitse malingaliro anu

Masiku ano, tili ndi magazini amene amafunsa funso limodzi tsiku lililonse (monga ‘Kodi mumayamikira kwambiri chiyani?’ Kapena ‘Kodi mukufuna kuuza makolo anu chiyani?’). Mafunso awa amakupatsirani zakudya zambiri zoganizira ndikukupangitsani kudzizindikira. Adzakutsogolerani kuti muyankhe funso lofunika kwambiri - "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimakonda munthu yemwe sindikumudziwa?" Monga momwe Socrates ananenera mwanzeru, “Dziwani wekha.”

9. Kodi mungaleke bwanji kutengeka ndi kusweka? Gwiritsani ntchito njira zoyambira pansi

Kodi mungasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi munthu amene mumamukonda liti sungaleke kuganiza za iwo nthawi zonse? Ndicho chinthu cha kutengeka mtima; zimakufikitsani ku dzenje la kalulu la malingaliro obwerezabwereza, olowerera. Ndipo kuthawa kwa iwo ndi chinthu choyamba muyenera kuchita. Njira zoyambira zimakuthandizani kuti mukhalepo panthawiyi, pano komanso pano. Izi ndi zochepa zomwe mungayesere:

• Nyamulani zinthu zingapo pafupi ndi inu ndikuwona mawonekedwe ake, kulemera kwake, ndi kutentha kwake
• Onani mtundu wa zinthu ndi ntchito zomwe zimagwira
• Ikani manja anu m'madzi ndikudzibweretsa kuti muyang'ane pa kutengeka
• Mukhozanso kuyesa kudya chakudya pang'onopang'ono

Kusintha malingaliro kuchokera kumalingaliro kupita ku zenizeni ndi njira yabwino yothetsera vuto la "Momwe mungalekerere kutengeka ndi mnyamata / mtsikana?" Mukaona kuti mukuganizira za munthu winayo, yesani kuika maganizo anu pa zinthu zina. Yesetsani kusiyanitsa malingaliro ndi zenizeni, ndipo mofatsa ganizirani zakumapeto. Yesani njira zina monga kutambasula, kumvetsera malo ozungulira, ndi njira zopumira kwambiri.

10. Sinthani malo anu

Malo otizungulira amadziwonetsera tokha. Kusintha mawonekedwe kungakuthandizeni kukhazika mtima pansi malingaliro anu ndikugunda zotsitsimutsa padongosolo. Ndiye, ngati mwabwera kuno mukudabwa "Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kutengeka ndi bwenzi langa?" kapena “Kodi mungagonjetse bwanji munthu amene mumam’konda amene anakukhumudwitsani?”, Kusintha kwa malo kungakhale yankho limene mukuyang’ana. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe mungayesere:

• Pitani kutchuthi, kuyenda solo, kapena kukachezera munthu wina mumzinda wina
• Tengani nthawi yochulukirapo pamalo atsopano monga malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, laibulale, kapena paki 
• Khalani kwa anzanu kwa masiku angapo ndikusangalala ndi zatsopano
• Sinthani kukongoletsa kwa nyumba yanu popenta khoma kapena kupachika zithunzi zingapo (osati za munthuyo)

Izi zidzakupatsani ntchito yosangalatsa komanso kusintha kofunikira. Tikungofuna kuti muwonetse zachilendo m'chizoloŵezi chanu, chifukwa iyi ndi nsonga yabwino ya momwe mungalekerere kutengeka ndi munthu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chibwenzi Chosasangalatsa Vs. Anzanu Opindula - 10 Kusiyanitsa Kwakukulu

11. Ganizirani mwanzeru kuti mutenge munthu amene sakukondani

Mwinamwake nthawi zambiri mumaganizira za momwe mungasiyire kutengeka maganizo pa kusweka kapena munthu yemwe simungakhale naye, kunena zachindunji. Zikuchitika kwa inu chifukwa chakuti munthuyo wakukanizani chikondi ndi chisamaliro chake. Tsopano, chifukwa chiyani kukana kumayambitsa kutengeka? Studies awonetsa kuti kukanidwa mwachikondi kumayambitsa gawo laubongo lanu lomwe limalumikizidwa ndi kulakalaka, kuledzera, kulimbikitsana, ndi mphotho zomwe zimakusiyani kufuna zambiri.

Ndipo ndi inu nokha amene mungakonze kutengeka kumeneku pothetsa vutoli mwanzeru. Nandita anati: “Maganizo anu anzeru amasokonekera mukakhala mumkhalidwe wovuta kwambiri. Choncho yesetsani kuyambiranso kukhala oganiza bwino. Muziganizira zinthu zothandiza komanso mafunso. Dzifunseni kuti zimenezi n’zosatha bwanji. Kodi munthu ameneyu amakukondani? Kodi ndi munthu wotani?

Mukawona kusaganiza bwino (komanso kungayambitse kuwonongeka) kwa chikondi chanu chokhazikika komanso zokakamira, kudzakhala kosavuta kuchokapo. Ganizirani mozama kuti mupewe zisankho zoyendetsedwa ndi malingaliro. Simungatero kuwatsata pa social media kwa maola atatu ngati mukudziwa momwe kuwala kwa buluu kumawonongera maso anu. Ngati mukufuna kudziwa momwe mungalekerere kukhala otengeka paubwenzi, yang'anani khalidwe lanu kuchokera kwa munthu wachitatu.

Tsopano mukudziwa momwe mungalekerere kutengeka ndi munthu amene mumadana naye, mumamukonda, kapenanso amene sakukondani. Kugwira ntchito molimbika, nthawi, kuleza mtima, ndi kulimbikira kudzabala zipatso ndipo simudzadandaula kuti mumatengeka ndi zinthu kapena anthu mosavuta.

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Ogasiti 2023.

Ibibazo

Mungayiwale Bwanji Munthu Amene Mumamukonda?

Kodi Munthu Akakunyalanyazani Zimatanthauza Chiyani?

Chiritsani Mtima Wosweka Ndi Malangizo 15 Awa Kuchokera kwa Akatswiri

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

Gawani Ndemanga

Ndemanga zanu ndi zotani?

×

zothandiza Nenani Cholakwika Zina

kugonjera