Zomwe Munganene Kwa Munthu Amene Wakukhumudwitsani M'maganizo - Kalozera Wathunthu

Tonse tinakhumudwapo ndi munthu amene timamukonda panthawi ina. Kaya mwadala kapena mwangozi, kupwetekedwa m'maganizo kumawononga moyo wathu wonse. Koma timapulumuka. Ngakhale kuti ena angasankhe kuzisiya, timaganiza kuti njira imodzi yothanirana nazo kapena kuchepetsa kupwetekako ndiyo kudziwa mmene munganenere komanso zimene munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani.

Munthu wina akakupwetekani kwambiri, n'kwachibadwa kumva kuti mwataya mtima kwakanthawi, osadziwa momwe mungachitire ndikupita patsogolo kuchokera kuzochitika zosasangalatsazo. Makamaka ngati ali okondedwa anu kapena bwenzi lapamtima. Kusunga chakukhosi kapena kusunga zowawa zonse ndi malingaliro oyipa mkati kumangokupangitsani kumva kuwawa komanso kuipidwa m'kupita kwanthawi. Zidzawononganso unansi wanu ndi munthuyo, nthaŵi zambiri mpaka kufika polephera kubwerera.

Kotero, musanayambe kunena zinthu zonyansa kwa munthu amene wakupwetekani, bwanji tilankhule ndi katswiri? Masiku ano, katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (M.Sc. mu Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa CBT, REBT, ndi uphungu wa mabanja, akugawana maganizo ake pa zomwe mungachite wina akakupwetekani kwambiri.

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Wina Wakukhumudwitsani M'maganizo

Tiyankha mafunso ambiri omwe muli nawo lero: Kodi mungatani ndi munthu amene wakuvulazani maganizo? Kodi mumakhululukira bwanji munthu amene AKUPITIRIZA KUKUPITIRIZANI KUKUPITIRIZANI KUKUPITIRIZANI KUKUPITIRIZANI? Kodi muyenera kutero? Mumawauza chiyani? Onani, musanaganize choti munene kwa munthu amene wakuvulazani maganizo, muyenera kumvetsetsa zomwe mukukumana nazo. Muyenera kudzitonthoza nokha ndikupeza zomwe mukufuna. Sitingathe kugogomezera mokwanira kudzikonda nokha ndi kudzisamalira kuti titonthoze mtima wanu wopweteka.

Masiku amenewo pamene mwakhala mukudzipweteka nokha, kuuza mnzanu wodalirika zakukhosi kungakuthandizeni kuona zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Zikuthandizani kudziwa ngati munthuyu ndi woyenera kumenyera nkhondo kapena muyenera kusiya kucheza naye mpaka kalekale. Nazi zinthu 7 zomwe mungachite ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani:

1. Landirani zowawazo ndipo lolani kuti mumve zomwe mukumva

Gawo loyamba pakuchira ndikuvomereza ndikuvomereza kuti mwapwetekedwa. Nandita akufotokoza kuti, “Dziwani kuti mukumva kuwawa. Munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri waswa chidaliro chanu ndipo kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wanu kungakupwetekeni. Palibe manyazi kuvomereza malingaliro anu oipa ngakhale atakupangitsani kumva wofooka ngati munthu. Lolani malingalirowo akutsukitseni.

"Mukavomereza ndikuvomereza, mudzakhala ndi kusintha kwa malingaliro - Mutha kukhala okhumudwa, okhumudwa, ndi mkwiyo. Landirani malingaliro amenewo ndipo dikirani kuti awonongeke."

2. Pezani njira zabwino zowonetsera kukhumudwa

Kenako, pezani njira zabwino zofotokozera ululuwo kuti muchiritse ululuwo. Ndipo kundandalika mawu opweteka oti munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani sikofunikira. Siyani kukhala ndi kugudubuzika kwa masiku ambiri kapena kumakalipira ena. Simungalole maubwenzi ena onse m'moyo wanu kuvutika chifukwa cha munthu m'modzi. Njira yabwino yopulumukira malinga ndi ife ndiyo kusonyeza ululu umenewo. Malangizo athu a momwe tingathetsere zowawa pamapeto pake:

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• Lembani malingaliro anu mu kalata ndikung'amba kapena kuwotcha
• Lankhulani mokweza zonse zomwe mukufuna, fuulani, kapena lankhulani mokweza zonse zomwe mukufuna kunena
• Lankhulani ndi anzanu ndi abale anu za nkhaniyi
• Lirani ndikutulutsa zonse chifukwa ngati simutero, zitha kusokoneza thanzi lanu komanso momwe mukudzionera nokha.
• Ganizirani zomwe mungachite pambuyo pake, ngakhale zitakhala zazing'ono, kuti muthane ndi zovutazo

Tidzakambirana za vuto lakuti “Kodi mungamuthandize bwanji munthu kuzindikira kuti akukupwetekani?” mukadzamva kuti mwakonzeka kukangana ndi munthuyo mwamaganizo. Koma choyamba, konzani malingaliro anu owonongeka ndikulamulira mkwiyo wanu m'malo mogwiritsa ntchito njira zosayenera zothetsera ululu. Mwina simungathe kufotokoza momwe mukumvera kwa munthu amene wakupwetekani mwamaganizo, koma musadzilole kumva nokha kuti ndinu nokha.

3. Yesetsani kuona zinthu mmene munthu amene anakukhumudwitsani amazionera

Zikapweteka maganizo, timakonda kuimba mlandu munthu amene watikhumudwitsa. Timaganiza kuti ndi owopsa komanso osakhudzidwa, zomwe zimatilepheretsa kusintha malingaliro athu. Nandita akupereka lingaliro lakuti, “Yesetsani kuyang’ana mkhalidwewo monga momwe munthu winayo akuiwonera ngati mukufuna kulimbana ndi malingaliro oipawo.

Iye akufotokoza kuti, “Ponena za kunyalanyaza ndi kupwetekedwa mtima, nthawi zambiri, anthu sazindikira kuti mawu ndi zochita zawo zakhudza kwambiri bwenzi lawo kapena mnzawo wachikondi. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosakonzekera, ndichifukwa chake muyenera kuwapangitsa kuti azikayikira.”

N’kutheka kuti anali ndi tsiku loipa kapena zinthu zina zowawawa kwambiri, zimene zinawachititsa kuti achite zimene anachitazo. N’kutheka kuti ankangokhalira kuchita nthabwala, osadziwa kuti mawu awo angakupwetekeni mtima kwambiri. Ndiye, mungamuuze bwanji munthu kuti akukhumudwitsani? Kambiranani nawo, apatseni mpata woti adzifotokoze okha. Yesetsani kumvetsa mmene munthuyo akumvera komanso mmene amaonera zinthu, ndipo adziwitseni kuti mawu/zochita zake zimakupwetekani kwambiri.

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4. Lekani kuseŵera masewera olakwa

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani. Sitikunena kuti inuyo simunavutikepo. Komanso sitiyesa kupeputsa malingaliro anu. Inde, zonyansa zinanenedwa ndi kuchitidwa kwa inu ngakhale kuti simunalakwe. Koma kudzimvera chisoni si yankho ngati mukufuna kubwera kuchokera ku gawolo ndikupita patsogolo ndi moyo wanu.

Pamene mukuphunzira momwe mungagonjetsere kukhumudwa, Nandita amakukumbutsani kuti kudzimvera chisoni kapena kusewera masewera odzudzula kungokupwetekani kwambiri kuposa zabwino ndikukulepheretsani kuchira. Muyenera kutenga udindo wa kuchira kwanu ndi chisangalalo chanu. Mwina simungakhale ndi udindo pa zomwe zidakuchitikirani, koma simungalole kuti zochita za wina wakale zikugonjetseni pakali pano. Musalole kuti kupwetekako kukhale umunthu wanu.

5. Ganizirani za chimwemwe chanu ndi moyo wanu

Munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani ndipo alibe nazo ntchito zimene anachita, mungafune kudzipatula n’kusachita chilichonse chimene mumakonda. Ena a ife mpaka kufika podula maubwenzi ena ndi kudzipatula tokha mu chikwa. Osachita izi. Musalole zowawa kapena ulendo wolakwa kuzimitsa chilichonse chakuzungulirani chomwe chimabweretsa chisangalalo. Zimawononga thanzi lanu lakuthupi ndi m'maganizo. Pangani kachipinda kakang'ono kodzikonda pakati pa mdimawo.

Nandita akukuuzani momwe mungathanirane ndi ululu wamaganizo muubwenzi: “Muyenera kudziyang'ana nokha. Zingakhale zopweteka komanso zovutitsa kukhumudwa m'maganizo, koma muyenerabe kupeza nthawi yodzisamalira . Yesetsani kutsatira zomwe mumachita nthawi zonse. Ngakhale mutapwetekedwa ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri ndipo zimakupwetekani nthawi iliyonse mukaganizira za izi, yesetsani kuti musadumphe masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi chakudya kapena kugona ndi njala. Kuchita zinthu mwachizolowezi kumakuthandizani kuti mukhale odziletsa kwambiri ndikugonjetsa ululuwo m'njira yabwino. Chifukwa chake, pitirizani kudzisamalira momwe mungathere.”

Tikutsimikiza kuti pali zinthu zabwino zomwe mumachita mukakhumudwa kapena mukakhala ndi nthawi yopuma. Pali zambiri zomwe mungachite kuti mukweze mtima wanu ndikudzitonthoza nokha m'malo modzimvera chisoni, monga:

• Kuwona kulowa kwa dzuwa
• oyendayenda
• Yoga ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi
• Kuyenda, nokha kapena ndi wokondedwa
• Kuwerenga buku lalikulu
• Kutenga kalasi ya luso
• Kupita kokadya nokha kapena ndi bwenzi lapamtima
• Kuwonera kanema ndi munthu
• Kusewera masewera omwe mumakonda

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6. Mmene mungathetsere kukhumudwa: Yesetsani kudzimvera chisoni komanso kukhululuka

Munthu akakhumudwa, zimakhala zosavuta kuti azidziimba mlandu ngakhale kuti sanalakwe. Nthawi zonse kumbukirani kuti mosasamala kanthu za zomwe zidachitika, sibwino kumva chisoni ndikunyamula zolemetsa, chifukwa chake muyenera kuyamba kukhululuka ndi kudzimvera chisoni. Dzichitireni chifundo ndipo yesani kupitiriza m'malo mogonjera ku zowawa.

Kudzikhululukira nokha ndi munthu wina ndikusankha kukhala pamtendere ndi bwino tsiku lililonse kusiyana ndi kukwiya ndi kukhumudwa. Komabe, nthawi zambiri timapeza funso ili: Kodi mumakhululukira bwanji munthu amene amakukhumudwitsanibe? Chinthucho n’chakuti, simuyenera kuwakhululukira nthawi zonse, kapenanso nthawi yoyamba imene anakukhumudwitsani. Muyenera kusankha.

Monga momwe wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu amanenera, "Ndikuganiza kuti kukhululukira ndi za iwe mwini. Simukufuna kungokhala ndi mkwiyo ndikuupangitsa kuti uwononge tsogolo lanu. Kukhululukira munthu sikutanthauza kumudalira kapena kumulola kuti abwererenso pamalo omwewo m'moyo wanu. Kungosiya mphamvu zomwe adachita kuti azilamulira malingaliro anu ."

7. Pezani chithandizo munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani

Chinthu chabwino chimene mungachite ngati wina akukhumudwitsani kwambiri ndikupempha thandizo la akatswiri. Tikakhumudwa, timakonda kuchita zinthu mongoganiza. Timakonda kulankhula zinthu zimene tinganong’oneze nazo bondo pambuyo pake kapena kupsa mtima mopanda chifukwa pa zinthu zazing’ono. Funsani dokotala yemwe angakuthandizeni kudziwa zoyenera kuchita ngati wina akukhumudwitsani. Mutha kusintha ndikukwaniritsa malingaliro anu ndi iwo, kuti muchiritse ndikupita patsogolo. Sizidzakhala zophweka koma ndizofunikira.

Nandita akuti, “Ngakhale kuti munthu wina wakuvulazani maganizo, ngati muyesetsa kuthetsa malingaliro anu panthawi yoyenera ndikuchitapo kanthu, ndikukhazikitsa malire kuti muchiritse ubale wanu, n’zotheka kuthetsa ululuwo ndikukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso wathanzi.” Ngati mukukumana ndi vuto lofananalo, funsani gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito komanso odziwa bwino ntchito a Bonobology.

Kumbukirani kuti simuyenera kulola zowawa kuti zikufotokozereni. Mutha kusankha kuchiza munthawi yanu ndikupitilira. Kenako, tiyeni tikambirane zimene tinganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani.

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Zomwe Munganene Kwa Munthu Amene Wakukhumudwitsani M'maganizo

Ngati mukuganiza kuti tingakuthandizeni kupeza mawu oipa oti mulankhule kwa munthu amene wakupwetekani, mwalakwitsa kwambiri, bwenzi langa. Tikamamva ululu wa m'maganizo, nthawi zambiri timakwiya kwambiri ndikubwezera munthuyo. Koma kuchita zimenezi kumangopangitsa kuti nonse awiri mumve chisoni kwambiri, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti onse awiri awonongeke kwambiri . Izi sizithetsa vutoli, makamaka ngati munthuyo ndi gawo losatha la moyo wanu. Ndiye, mu mkhalidwe woterewu, munganene chiyani kwa munthu amene wakupwetekani m'maganizo?

Nandita akufotokoza kuti, “Lankhulani modekha. Musamafulumire mkwiyo kapena kunena mawu odzudzula panthaŵiyo. Ikani malire abwino ngati kupatukana ndi munthu ameneyu sikuli kofunika kusankhapo. Nthaŵi zina mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu amatipangitsa kumva kuti tapusitsidwa ndi kusweka mtima chifukwa cha zochita kapena mawu awo.

Katswiri wathu amakuuzani zoyenera kuchita munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani: “Nthawi ngati zimenezi, mungafunike chipiriro cha m’maganizo kuti muchitire chifundo munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, ndi kukhala munthu wamkulu.

1. Pewani kuimba mlandu

Lamulo loyamba loti mutsatire mukakumana ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani ndi kupewa kumuneneza. Mukaneneza munthu wina za khalidwe lolakwika, nthawi zambiri mumasintha kudziteteza, kusintha zokambiranazo kukhala mkangano , kenako n’kukhala ndewu, ngati zinthu zayamba kukangana. Zonsezi sizingachititse munthu kuzindikira kuti wakupwetekani, ngati ndicho cholinga chanu. Tikumvetsa, mukuphunzirabe momwe mungachitire ndi munthu amene wakupwetekani m’maganizo. Koma musanene mawu ngati awa:

• Zomwe mumachita ndikukuwa
• Nthawi zonse mumandinyoza
• Ndinu choyipa kwambiri chomwe chidandichitikirapo
• Simukuwoneka kuti simusamala za malingaliro anga

Ndiye mungamupangitse bwanji munthu kuzindikira kuti akukupwetekani? Muuzeni momwe mukumvera. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu akuti , "Mukafika kwa mnzanu, pewani mawu oyesa monga "Mwachita izi" kapena "Mwachita izi." Izi zimakuchotserani mphamvu ndipo zimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi maganizo okhudzidwa. M'malo mwake, sungani mphamvu zanu ndi ulemu wanu pozindikira momwe mukumvera ndikudziwitsa mnzanu zomwe mukukumana nazo."

Yambani mawu anu ndi 'Ine' mukamakambirana nkhaniyi. Mwachitsanzo, “Ndinakhumudwa pamene munandilankhula mawu achipongwe.” Onetsetsani kuti mumayang'ana kwambiri momwe mukumvera m'malo mowaweruza kuti ndi amwano komanso osaganizira ena. Izi zimachotsa chidani pazokambirana ndikupangitsa kukhala kosavuta kufika pakumvetsetsana ndikupanga malo otetezeka kwa inu nonse muubwenzi.

2. Pewani kunena zam'mbuyo

Izi sizikunena. Pamene mukulankhula ndi zowawa zomwe zachitika panopa, lingaliro lobweretsa vuto linalake lopweteka, lomwe layankhidwa kale, lingakhale lokopa kwambiri. Koma musagwere mumsampha. Mukabweretsa zowawa zakale, zowawa zapano zimakhala zovuta kupirira. Komanso, malingaliro olakwika akale ndi amasiku ano osakanikirana amalimbitsa mkwiyo wanu ndi mkwiyo kwa munthu uyu, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuyang'ana pa zosowa zomwe zikuchitika panopa.

Pewani kunena zinthu monga:

• Aka sikoyamba kuti mwanyoza zomwe ndakwaniritsa. Munatanthauza kuti kukwezedwa kwanga koyamba kunali kopanda pake. Kodi mukuchita nsanje ndi kupambana kwanga?
• Chaka chatha, ndimafuna kuti muzicheza nane patchuthi. Koma ndikuganiza kuti anzanu anali ofunika kwambiri. Sindinali patsogolo panu. Sindine patsogolo panu tsopano

Ndiye, mungauze bwanji munthu wina kuti wakupwetekani popanda kukumbukira mikangano yakale? Ngati mukufuna kukonza ubale wanu ndi munthu amene wakupwetekani, kambiranani naye za ululu umene wakukupwetekani panopa. Kukwiya kwamuyaya kapena kubwerezabwereza zakale kumangowononga zinthu kwambiri. Komabe, ngati munthuyu wakhala akukupwetekani, ndiye kuti muyenera kuganiziranso ngati ubalewu ndi woyenera kupulumutsidwa kapena munayenera kuthetsa zinthu kalekale.

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3. Kodi munganene chiyani kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani? Zindikirani udindo wanu pankhaniyi

Nandita akufotokoza kuti: “Nthaŵi zina kudzilingalira pang’ono kumapita patsogolo kwambiri pakupeza kaonedwe kofunikira kwambiri pamene munthu amene mumam’samalira akukupwetekani kwambiri.” Mwadzidzidzi, moyo wanu wonse umakhala ngati wabodza.

Izi ndizofunikira kwambiri ngati mukufuna kukonza ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani m'maganizo. Musanalankhule naye, fufuzani ndi kuzindikira gawo lomwe mudachita pankhaniyi yonse. N'zotheka kuti simunamumvetse bwino kapena munanena chinthu chomwe simuyenera kuchita, ndipo zimenezo zinawapangitsa kukhala amwano. Sizilungamitsa zochita zawo koma zimathandiza kufotokoza bwino vutoli. Munganene kuti:

• Pepani kuti zochita zanga zinakukhumudwitsani ndipo ndinakupangani kumva choncho
• Ndikupepesa chifukwa cha khalidwe langa. Nthawi yomweyo, ndimakhulupiriranso kuti zomwe mwachita / zomwe mwanena zinali zolakwika
• Ndikuvomereza kuti ndinalakwitsa ndipo ndikupepesa. Ndi chifukwa chake mwanena ?

Nthawi zina, anthu amakonda kupeputsa mlandu ndikupangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati ndiwe wolakwa. Pepani chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kwanu koma fotokozani momveka bwino kuti simuli ndi mlandu pa zomwe 'iwo' adachita. Malire abwino ndi kulankhulana kwabwino ndi njira zoyenera zopitira pamene mukuphunzira kuthana ndi zowawa. Osagwera mumsampha wovomereza kulakwa kwabodza.

4. Osachitapo kanthu. Yankhani

Zimenezi zimafuna kudziletsa kwambiri chifukwa kuchita zimene akunenazo kumangowonjezera mkhalidwewo. Kukambirana kutha kusanayambike. Imani kaye musanayankhe ngakhale kuti chibadwa chanu chingakupangitseni kuti musinthe. Pumirani mozama ndikuganizira za yankho lanu m'malo molola kuti malingaliro anu asinthe. Ndizovuta koma muyenera kukhala odekha komanso okhazikika poyankha munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani.

Nandita akufotokoza kuti: “Yesetsani kuchita zonse zimene mungathe kuti musamachite zinthu ndi vutolo.

Njira yabwino yothetsera vutoli ndikukhala ndi mtima wogwirizana komanso wovomereza. Sizikutanthauza kuti mukugwirizana ndi zomwe akunena. Pamapeto pake, mulipo kuti mukonze zinthu ndikupangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale wogwirizana osati kuwononga mgwirizano womwe muli nawo pakati panu.

5. Mvetserani mbali yawo ya nkhaniyi

Nandita anafotokoza zimene muyenera kuchita munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani, kuti: “Ngakhale kuti n’kofunika kufotokoza zimene mukumvera, m’pofunikanso kumvetsera zimene mnzanuyo akunena.

Pamene mukulankhula ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, kumbukirani kuti n’kutheka kuti si inu amene munamukwiyitsa ndipo ndi zinanso zimene zinawakhumudwitsa. Sizilungamitsa zomwe adachita koma akuyenera kukhala ndi mwayi patebulo. Ndipotu kukambirana ndi anthu awiri.

Tikumvetsetsa kuti sikophweka kuchitira chifundo munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Mwina simungakonde zimene akunena, koma ngati mukufuna kuti amvetsere maganizo anu ndi mmene mukumvera, muyeneranso kukhala wofunitsitsa kumvetsera maganizo awo. Muyenera kuwapatsa mwayi wogawana nawo malingaliro awo pazochitika zonse. Mukangomva mbali yawo, zidzakuikani pamalo abwino kuti muyankhe maganizo awo.

Tiye tione mmene tingachitire ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Mutha kuyambitsa zokambirana ndi:

• Ndimasamala za inu ndi ubale wathu, ndichifukwa chake ndikufuna kuthetsa kusamvanaku
• Ndinu ofunika kwa ine. Ndichifukwa chake ndikufuna kuyankhula nanu kuti tidutse apa
• Ndikufuna kukambirana nanu momasuka izi kuti timvetsetsane bwino
• Ndimakulemekezani komanso ndimakusamalani kwambiri. Ndikufuna tikambirane izi kuti mtsogolomu tidzapewe izi

Mawu oterowo adzawasonyeza kuti mumasamala za iwo ndi ubalewo, ndikuwalimbikitsa kuti atsegule ndi kuthetsa vuto lomwe lilipo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Munganene Chiyani kwa Munthu Amene Wakuperekani?

6. Mumamupanga bwanji munthu kuzindikira kuti wakukhumudwitsani? Auzeni mwachidule zimene anaona kuti n’zopanda ulemu

Ngati munthu uyu ndi woyenera kukhala naye kwa nthawi yayitali, chinthu chabwino kwambiri chingakhale kuwauza zomwe zakukhumudwitsani. Osalozera mwatsatanetsatane kapena tsatanetsatane wa zomwe zidachitika. Osawaikira kumbuyo ponena kuti, “Ndikudziwa kuti simunafune kundivulaza.” Dziwani zomwe zochita zawo zidayambitsa. Angayese kukusokonezani. Zikatero, auzeni mwaulemu kuti mukufuna kumva maganizo awo pa nkhaniyo, koma mukufuna kuti akumveni kaye.

Mutha kunena motere:

• Pamene munanena zimenezi, ndinadzimva kukhala wonyozeka ndi wowawidwa mtima
• Pamene ndikuyesera kufotokoza maganizo anga, munalankhula mawu achipongwe ndipo zinandipweteka kwambiri
• Nditakuuzani vuto langa, munandipangitsa kumva ngati vuto langa lonse komanso kuti ndadzibweretsera mavuto onse.

Nandita akugawana nzeru zake za momwe mungathanirane ndi munthu amene wakupwetekani m'maganizo, "Mukamadziona kuti ndinu wolamulira, uzani munthu winayo za momwe mukumvera. Musapse mtima kwambiri kapena kukhala ndi mkangano waukulu chifukwa zidzaipitsa zinthu. Nenani kuti mwakhumudwa ndi zomwe ananena kapena kukuchitirani. Koma musachite zinthu mopitirira muyeso. Njira yanu yolankhulirana ndiyofunika ."

7. Siyani kufunika kokhala wolondola kapena kuteteza maganizo anu

Mfundo ina yofunika kwambiri pa zimene munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani: Pewani kudziikira kumbuyo kapena kutsimikizira kuti mukulondola. Pamene wina wakukhumudwitsani kwambiri, pamakhala chizoloŵezi chodzitchinjiriza ndi kuyesa kutsimikizira kuti winayo ndi wolakwa. Pewani kuchita zimenezo. Perekani malingaliro anu ndikuchotsa chidani chilichonse kapena chitetezo chomwe chilipo pamawu anu. Gwirizanani kuti musagwirizane nazo.

8. Pezani nthawi yopuma ngati mukufunikira kutero mukamalankhula ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani

Kukambirana ndi munthu amene wakhumudwitsani maganizo kungakhale kovuta kwambiri komanso kotopetsa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake simuyenera kuzengereza kupuma ngati zinthu zikukuvutani. Pokhapokha ngati mukumva kuti mwakhazikika mtima, simungathe kufotokoza nkhawa zanu kwa munthu winayo. Ngati kukambirana sikukuyenda bwino, kuyimitsa kwakanthawi. Fotokozani kwa munthu winayo kuti mukufuna kupuma komanso chifukwa chomwe mukufunira. Munganene kuti:

• Ndikufuna kuthetsa vuto lomwe lili pakati pathu koma, pakadali pano, zokambiranazi zikundichulukirachulukira ndipo, ndikuganiza, kwa inunso. Kodi tingapume kaye ndi kubweranso pamene tonse takonzeka?
• Zokambiranazi zikundipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wokhumudwa komanso wotopa. Nanga bwanji tipume kwa theka la ola ndikuyambiranso?
• Kukambiranaku kukukulirakulira ndipo ndikuvomereza kuti tisapitirize kuyankhula. Koma ndikufuna kuthetsa nkhaniyi m’malo moisiya kwa nthawi yaitali. Kodi muli omasuka kulankhula za izo mawa?

Ndikofunikira kuti mubwererenso ku zokambirana m'malo mozilola kuti zikulepheretseni. Ngati simukuthetsa vutoli posachedwa, zidzakhala zovuta kubwerera ku vutolo mtsogolo. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu akuti, "Ngati sindili wokonzeka kupereka mpata wofanana ku malingaliro awo, ndimawauza mwaulemu kuti ndatopa pang'ono pakadali pano ndipo ndikufuna mpata koma ndidzawafikira ndikadzakhala bwino. Kenako, ndikadzadzisonkhanitsa, ndimayesetsa kuthana ndi vutoli ndi chidwi."

9. Sankhani zomwe mukufuna kuchita pa chibwenzi

Sikofunikira nthawi zonse kukonza ubale wanu. Munthu akakukhumudwitsani ndipo sakusamala, ndi bwino kuthetsa vutoli m'malo momangokhalira kukhumudwa. Chomwe mungachite ndikumufotokozera kuti wakukhumudwitsani ndipo popeza sakufuna kuvomereza kapena kuvomereza kuti analakwitsa, muuzeni kuti mungafunike kuganiziranso za ubale wanu.

Ponena za momwe mungachitire ndi munthu amene akukupwetekani m'maganizo, wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu ali ndi yankho: "Uzani kuti zizolowezi zawo zimakupwetekani ndipo simukufuna kukhala nawo pafupi ... Anthu ali ndi zizolowezi zoipa pazifukwa zambiri. Ndibwino kuti amalandira ndemanga kuti akuchita chinthu chomwe chimapweteka nthawi zonse. Ndikukhulupirira (ndipo mutha kutsutsana izi) kuti anthu ambiri omwe akupweteka si oipa, koma amaopa kwambiri kapena amakwiya kwambiri kotero kuti sadziwa choti achite."

Kuganizira zomwe munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani? Yesani izi:

• Ndatha kulekerera kusalemekeza masiku otsiriza ndipo ndikuganiza kuti zikhala bwino kuti tonse tisiyane.
• Kunena zowona, pakadali pano, sindikumva chiyembekezo chamtsogolo cha ubalewu. Pokhapokha mutazindikira kupwetekedwa mtima komwe mwandibweretsera ndikuyesetsa kukonza ubale wathu, ndikufuna ndibwerere mmbuyo ndikuganiziranso zonse.
• Ndikhulupilira kuti mwamvetsetsa kuti mwandipweteketsa mtima nthawi ino ngakhale sizinali zadala pamapeto anu. Tonse tikudziwa kuti sitingachite popanda wina ndi mnzake. Ndiye, bwanji kuti tichitepo kanthu lumikizananinso pambuyo pa nkhondo yayikuluyi ndikumvanso pafupi?

Komabe, musanawauze zimenezo, onetsetsani kuti musayembekezere zambiri. Ngati saona kuti akulakwitsa, sangapepese, n’chifukwa chake muzingoganizira mmene mukumvera komanso zosankha zanu poika malire. Ngakhale atapepesa, kumbukirani kuti simuyenera kuwakhululukira kapena kuwasunga m’moyo wanu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti ali ndi poizoni ndipo makhalidwe awo ndi ovuta kuwagwira, chokani pachibwenzi. Kapena khalani abwenzi - zili ndi inu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 21 Zoti Musiye Chibwenzi Chanu Kwamuyaya

10. Auzeni zomwe mungafune kuti azichita mosiyana

Mukathana ndi vutolo ndikuchotsa malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu pachifuwa chanu, yesani kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli kuti zinthu zotere zisabwerenso. Ngati mukufunabe kusunga chibwenzicho, muuzeni munthuyo zomwe mungafune kuti achite mosiyana m'tsogolomu ndikumufotokozera zifukwa zanu. Ikani malire ndikuwonetsetsa kuti winayo akulemekezani komanso zomwe simungakwanitse. Adziwitseni kuti ndi ofunikira kwa inu komanso kuti mumasamala za iwo, koma pali mizere ina yomwe sangathe kuwoloka.

Kodi mungatani ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani? Lembani nkhawa zanu motere:

• Ndikuganiza kuti ngati tisiya kuloza zolakwa za wina ndi mnzake nthawi zonse ndi kusiya kulimbana pa chilichonse, tidzakhala ndi mtendere wamumtima.
• Ndingakhale womasuka ngati simunakweze mawu pokambirana vuto lomwe tonse tikuyesera kuthetsa. Zimandipangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa ine kukhala ndi malingaliro omasuka pazovuta zanu
• Muyenera kuzindikira kuti kunena mawu otukwana pakati pa ndewu kumandinyoza kwambiri. Kodi mungasiye kuchita zimenezo?

Mu chibwenzi, n'zoonekeratu kuti anthu omwe akukhudzidwawo amakwiyitsana nthawi ndi nthawi. Padzakhala nthawi zina pamene onse awiri amalankhulana zinthu zopweteka . Zinthu ngati zimenezi zikachitika, n'zosavuta kukwiya. Koma kusunga nkhani mwaulemu mukakwiya komanso mutakhumudwa kungathandize kukonza ubalewo. Ngati sichoncho, zidzakupangitsani kutseka ubalewo.

Zinthu 5 Zofunika Kuzikumbukira Polankhulana

Kulankhulana kosayenera ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimalepheretsa ubale. Ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani kwambiri ndipo mukufuna kukambirana naye za nkhaniyi, onetsetsani kuti mwalankhula naye m’njira yoyenera. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kukumbukira mukamalankhulana ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani:

1. Mvetserani chimene chachititsa kuti mupweteke

Musanaganize zoti munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, ganizirani zimene zinachitikazo ndipo yesetsani kumvetsa chifukwa chake mukukhumudwa. Kumbukirani kuti si nthawi zonse kuvulaza munthu mwadala. Mwina kunali kusamvetsetsana. Mwina sanazindikire kuti zingakukhudzeni kwambiri. Kuvomereza izi kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi vutoli bwino.

"Mutavomereza malingaliro anu ndipo mukukhala bwino m'maganizo, yesetsani kumvetsetsa zinthu izi: Kodi munthu winayo adakukhumudwitsani ndi chiyani? Kodi anali mawu, zochita zake, kapena momwe adachitira kapena sanachite bwino? Kodi mumayembekezera kuti azichita mwanjira inayake? Dzifunseni kuti n'chifukwa chiyani mumamva choncho," akutero Nandita.

Yang'anani mkhalidwewo mwanjira yolondola ndipo khulupirirani chibadwa chanu. Mukakhumudwa, zimakhala zosavuta komanso zokopa kukumba zowawa zakale ndikuzibweretsa mu mkhalidwe womwe ulipo. Kupweteka komwe kulipo kungayambitse chisoni cha zakale ndikumasula malingaliro omwe angakhale olemetsa kwambiri. Komabe, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri zomwe zikuchitika pano kuti muthe kuthana ndi kupwetekako ndikulamulira mkwiyo womwe mukukumana nawo.

2. Ganizirani zomwe mukufuna kunena

Mukamvetsetsa ndikukonza zowawa ndi mkwiyo, konzekerani malingaliro anu mosamala ndikukonzekera yankho lanu. Zitha kukhala zovuta kukumana kapena kuyankhula ndi munthu yemwe wakukhumudwitsani chifukwa mutha kuphonya mfundoyo kapena kukambirana molakwika, kapena mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mawu omwe munganong'oneze nawo bondo.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu akufotokoza momwe mungathanirane ndi ululu wamaganizo muubwenzi, "Ngati mukumva kufunika kodzipatula nthawi yomweyo, gwiritsani ntchito nthawi imeneyo kusonkhanitsa malingaliro anu, ndikuzindikira momwe mukumvera kuti muthe kukambirana nkhaniyi ndi mnzanu." Chifukwa chake, ganizirani zomwe mukufuna kunena komanso momwe mukufunira kuyankhira zokambirana kuti musalole kuti malingaliro amphamvu akukugonjetseni.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Katundu Wamaganizo - Zoyambitsa, Zizindikiro, Ndi Njira Zothanirana Nazo

3. Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani? Khalani achifundo

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mfundo zofunika kwambiri kukumbukira pamene mukukambirana ndi munthu amene wakhumudwitsa inu. Nthawi zina zimachitika kuti munthu amene wakukhumudwitsaniyo wachita zimenezi chifukwa nayenso akumva ululu. Ngakhale kuti izi sizikutanthauza kuti akukhumudwitsani ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuwasiya kuti asiyane ndi khalidweli, zimathandiza kuwamvetsa bwino.

Ndikofunika kuti wina azindikire kuti wakukhumudwitsani ndipo kuti muchite zimenezo, muyenera kulankhula naye mwachifundo. Osalowa ndi cholinga chokuwa ndi kuwatsekereza. Osayang'ana mawu opweteka oti munene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Yesetsani kumvetsa kumene akuchokera. Lingaliro ndikulankhulana mwachilungamo, kuyika malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu patebulo, kumvetsera mbali yawo ya nkhaniyo, ndiyeno fikani panjira yabwino.

"Munthu winayo angakhale akukumana ndi nthawi yovuta. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zina zomwe zimayambitsa khalidwe lawo. Payenera kukhala chifukwa - kaya ndi chovomerezeka kapena ayi chiyenera kugamulidwa pambuyo pake. Mukangovomereza zimenezo, zimakhala zosavuta kusonyeza chifundo ndi kulankhulana m'njira yomwe ingathe kukonza ubalewo, "Nandita akufotokoza.

4. Dziikireni malire anu

Sikuti maubwenzi onse amakhala kosatha. Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kukumbukira polankhula ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani ndikuti simuyenera kubwereranso momwe zinthu zinalili zisanachitike. M'malo mwake, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti simukukakamizika kulowanso mumkhalidwe woterowo. Ndipo chifukwa chomwechi, ndikofunika kuti muyike malire kapena malire anu kuti mupange malo otetezeka muubwenzi wanu. Malangizo athu amomwe mungathanirane ndi zowawa muubwenzi:

• Unikani ndi kusankha zochita za munthu amene mukufuna kuvomereza ndi zosayenera
• Dziwani zosowa zanu komanso ngati mwakonzeka kutero asiye zowawa ndi kupita patsogolo
• Mvetserani ngati ndinu wokonzeka kuwakhululukira, ndipo ngati ndinu wokonzeka, kodi zikutanthauza kuti mukufunabe kukhala nawo paubwenzi?
• Yesetsani kumvera zomwe m'matumbo anu akukuuzani ndikusankha malire anu musanayandikire munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 20 Zotsimikizika Zomupangitsa Kudzimva Wolakwa Chifukwa Chokupwetekani

5. Dziwani kuti kukhumudwa sikuchotsa chimwemwe chanu

Ngakhale mukumva kuti mwaperekedwa komanso kusweka mtima panthawiyo ndipo chilichonse chikuwoneka ngati chipwirikiti, musalole kuti zowawazo zikhale mbali ya chidziwitso chanu. Musalole kuti zitsimikizire chimwemwe chanu ndi maganizo anu m'moyo. Simuyenera kugwedezeka muzowawa zanu kwamuyaya, ndipo ndizotheka kupitiriza. Ndi zotheka kukhululukira munthuyo ndi inu nokha pa chilichonse chomwe chachitika ndikudutsamo. Chifukwa chake, yesetsani kudzisamalira tsiku ndi tsiku, dzinyamuleni, ndipo pamapeto pake, zisiyeni.

Mukakumana ndi zowawa zamalingaliro, ambiri angakuuzeni kuti mungosiya ndikuyiwalani. Mvetserani kuti si njira yabwino kapena yathanzi. Kupweteka kokulirapo kudzawononga mtendere wanu wamalingaliro ndikukupangitsani kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu m'njira zapoizoni. Muyenera kukonza zopweteka zanu ndi mkwiyo wanu, kulankhula ndi munthuyo za izo, kuphunzira kuchiritsa, ndi kupeza chitonthozo chanu ndi chisangalalo.

Mukuganiza bwanji za malangizo athu amomwe mungathanirane ndi zowawa muubwenzi? Tikukhulupirira kuti adakubweretserani kumveka bwino pang'ono ndi mtendere. Tikukulimbikitsani pamene mukukonzekera masitepe anu otsatira.

Ibibazo

Kupanga Mtendere ndi Zakale - Malangizo 13 Anzeru

Zizindikiro 9 Muli Ndi Nkhani Zazikulu Zolankhulana Muubwenzi Wanu

19 Zitsanzo Zamalire Athanzi Pamaubwenzi

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.