Zomwe Munganene Kwa Munthu Amene Wakukhumudwitsani M'maganizo - Kalozera Wathunthu

Tonse tinakhumudwapo ndi munthu amene timamukonda panthawi ina. Kaya mwadala kapena mwangozi, kupwetekedwa m'maganizo kumawononga moyo wathu wonse. Koma timapulumuka. Ngakhale kuti ena angasankhe kuzisiya, timaganiza kuti njira imodzi yothanirana nazo kapena kuchepetsa kupwetekako ndiyo kudziwa mmene munganenere komanso zimene munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani.

Munthu wina akakupwetekani kwambiri, n'kwachibadwa kumva kuti mwataya mtima kwakanthawi, osadziwa momwe mungachitire ndikupita patsogolo kuchokera kuzochitika zosasangalatsazo. Makamaka ngati ali okondedwa anu kapena bwenzi lapamtima. Kusunga chakukhosi kapena kusunga zowawa zonse ndi malingaliro oyipa mkati kumangokupangitsani kumva kuwawa komanso kuipidwa m'kupita kwanthawi. Zidzawononganso unansi wanu ndi munthuyo, nthaŵi zambiri mpaka kufika polephera kubwerera.

Ndiye, musanapange zinthu zomveka zonena kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, bwanji tilankhule ndi katswiri? Masiku ano, katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (M.Sc. in Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito pa CBT, REBT, ndi upangiri wa maanja, amagawana zomwe angachite ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani kwambiri.

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Wina Wakukhumudwitsani M'maganizo

Tiyankha mafunso anu ambiri lero: Kodi mungatani ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani? Kodi mungakhululukire bwanji munthu amene AKUPITIRIZA kukukhumudwitsani? Kodi muyenera kutero? Kodi mumawauza chiyani? Onani, musanaganize zonena kwa munthu amene akukukhumudwitsani, muyenera kumvetsetsa zomwe mukukumana nazo. Muyenera kudzitonthoza nokha ndikupeza zomwe mukusowa. Sitingathe kutsindika mokwanira kudzikonda ndi kudzisamalira kuti ukhazikitse mtima wako wowawa.

Masiku amenewo pamene mwakhala mukudzipweteka nokha, kuuza mnzanu wodalirika zakukhosi kungakuthandizeni kuona zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Zikuthandizani kudziwa ngati munthuyu ndi woyenera kumenyera nkhondo kapena muyenera kusiya kucheza naye mpaka kalekale. Nazi zinthu 7 zomwe mungachite ndi zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani:

1. Landirani zowawazo ndipo lolani kuti mumve zomwe mukumva

Chinthu choyamba kuti muchiritsidwe ndicho kuvomereza ndi kuvomereza kuti mwavulazidwa. Nandita akufotokoza kuti: “Dziwani kuti mwakhumudwa chifukwa munthu wina amene mumamukonda kwambiri wasiya kumukhulupirira. kusakhulupirika mu chiyanjano akuyenera kuluma. Palibe manyazi kukumbatira malingaliro anu oyipa ngakhale zitakupangitsani kukhala wofooka ngati munthu. Lolani zomverera zisokoneze inu.

"Mukavomereza ndikuvomereza, mudzakhala ndi kusintha kwa malingaliro - Mutha kukhala okhumudwa, okhumudwa, ndi mkwiyo. Landirani malingaliro amenewo ndipo dikirani kuti awonongeke."

2. Pezani njira zabwino zowonetsera kukhumudwa

Kenako, pezani njira zabwino zofotokozera ululuwo kuti muchiritse ululuwo. Ndipo kundandalika mawu opweteka oti munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani sikofunikira. Siyani kukhala ndi kugudubuzika kwa masiku ambiri kapena kumakalipira ena. Simungalole maubwenzi ena onse m'moyo wanu kuvutika chifukwa cha munthu m'modzi. Njira yabwino yopulumukira malinga ndi ife ndiyo kusonyeza ululu umenewo. Malangizo athu a momwe tingathetsere zowawa pamapeto pake:

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• Lembani malingaliro anu mu kalata ndikung'amba kapena kuwotcha
• Lankhulani mokweza zonse zomwe mukufuna, fuulani, kapena lankhulani mokweza zonse zomwe mukufuna kunena
• Lankhulani ndi anzanu ndi abale anu za nkhaniyi
• Lirani ndikutulutsa zonse chifukwa ngati simutero, zitha kusokoneza thanzi lanu komanso momwe mukudzionera nokha.
• Ganizirani zomwe mungachite pambuyo pake, ngakhale zitakhala zazing'ono, kuti muthane ndi zovutazo

Tidzakambirana za "Kodi mungapangire bwanji munthu kuzindikira kuti wakukhumudwitsani?" vuto pambuyo pake pamene mukumva kuti mwakonzeka kulimbana ndi maganizo. Koma choyamba, konzani malingaliro anu owonongeka ndi sunga mkwiyo wako m’malo mogwiritsa ntchito njira zosayenera zothanirana ndi ululuwo. Simungathe kufotokozera momwe mukumvera kwa munthu amene adakukhumudwitsani, koma musalole kuti mukhale nokha.

3. Yesetsani kuona zinthu mmene munthu amene anakukhumudwitsani amazionera

Zikapweteka maganizo, timakonda kuimba mlandu munthu amene watikhumudwitsa. Timaganiza kuti ndi owopsa komanso osakhudzidwa, zomwe zimatilepheretsa kusintha malingaliro athu. Nandita akupereka lingaliro lakuti, “Yesetsani kuyang’ana mkhalidwewo monga momwe munthu winayo akuiwonera ngati mukufuna kulimbana ndi malingaliro oipawo.

Iye akufotokoza kuti, “Pamene zifika kunyalanyazidwa ndipo zowawa, nthawi zambiri, anthu sazindikira kuti mawu awo ndi zochita zawo zakhudza kwambiri bwenzi lawo kapena okondedwa awo. Nthawi zambiri sizikhala mwadala, ndichifukwa chake muyenera kuwapatsa mwayi wokayika. ”

N’kutheka kuti anali ndi tsiku loipa kapena zinthu zina zowawawa kwambiri, zimene zinawachititsa kuti achite zimene anachitazo. N’kutheka kuti ankangokhalira kuchita nthabwala, osadziwa kuti mawu awo angakupwetekeni mtima kwambiri. Ndiye, mungamuuze bwanji munthu kuti akukhumudwitsani? Kambiranani nawo, apatseni mpata woti adzifotokoze okha. Yesetsani kumvetsa mmene munthuyo akumvera komanso mmene amaonera zinthu, ndipo adziwitseni kuti mawu/zochita zake zimakupwetekani kwambiri.

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4. Lekani kuseŵera masewera olakwa

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe muyenera kuchita ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani. Sitikunena kuti inuyo simunavutikepo. Komanso sitiyesa kupeputsa malingaliro anu. Inde, zonyansa zinanenedwa ndi kuchitidwa kwa inu ngakhale kuti simunalakwe. Koma kudzimvera chisoni si yankho ngati mukufuna kubwera kuchokera ku gawolo ndikupita patsogolo ndi moyo wanu.

Mukamaphunzira kuthana ndi zowawa, Nandita amakukumbutsani kuti kudzimvera chisoni kapena kusewera mlandu game koma adzakuchitirani choipa choposa chabwino ndi kukuletsani kuchilitso. Muyenera kukhala ndi udindo pakuchira kwanu ndi chisangalalo. Mwina simungakhale ndi mlandu pa zomwe zidakuchitikirani, koma simungalole zochita za munthu wina zakale kugonjetsa zomwe muli nazo. Musalole kuti zowawazo zikhale kudziwika kwanu.

5. Ganizirani za chimwemwe chanu ndi moyo wanu

Munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani ndipo alibe nazo ntchito zimene anachita, mungafune kudzipatula n’kusachita chilichonse chimene mumakonda. Ena a ife mpaka kufika podula maubwenzi ena ndi kudzipatula tokha mu chikwa. Osachita izi. Musalole zowawa kapena ulendo wolakwa kuzimitsa chilichonse chakuzungulirani chomwe chimabweretsa chisangalalo. Zimawononga thanzi lanu lakuthupi ndi m'maganizo. Pangani kachipinda kakang'ono kodzikonda pakati pa mdimawo.

Nandita akukuuzani mmene mungathanirane ndi kupwetekedwa mtima pachibwenzi: “Uyenera kumangoganizira za iwe wekha.” Zimakhala zopweteka komanso zopweteka munthu akakhumudwa, komabe uyenera kupeza nthawi yoti uchitepo kanthu. kudzisamalira. Yesani kutsatira zomwe mumachita nthawi zonse. Ngakhale mutakhumudwitsidwa ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri ndipo zimapweteka nthawi iliyonse mukaganizira, yesetsani kuti musadumphe masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi zakudya kapena kugona ndi njala. Chizoloŵezi chimakuthandizani kuti muzitha kudzilamulira nokha ndikugonjetsa zowawazo m'njira yabwino. Choncho, pitirizani kudzisangalatsa monga momwe mungathere.”

Tikutsimikiza kuti pali zinthu zabwino zomwe mumachita mukakhumudwa kapena mukakhala ndi nthawi yopuma. Pali zambiri zomwe mungachite kuti mukweze mtima wanu ndikudzitonthoza nokha m'malo modzimvera chisoni, monga:

• Kuwona kulowa kwa dzuwa
• oyendayenda
• Yoga ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi
• Kuyenda, nokha kapena ndi wokondedwa
• Kuwerenga buku lalikulu
• Kutenga kalasi ya luso
• Kupita kokadya nokha kapena ndi bwenzi lapamtima
• Kuwonera kanema ndi munthu
• Kusewera masewera omwe mumakonda

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6. Mmene mungathetsere kukhumudwa: Yesetsani kudzimvera chisoni komanso kukhululuka

Munthu akakhumudwa, zimakhala zosavuta kuti azidziimba mlandu ngakhale kuti sanalakwe. Nthawi zonse kumbukirani kuti mosasamala kanthu za zomwe zidachitika, sibwino kumva chisoni ndikunyamula zolemetsa, chifukwa chake muyenera kuyamba kukhululuka ndi kudzimvera chisoni. Dzichitireni chifundo ndipo yesani kupitiriza m'malo mogonjera ku zowawa.

Kudzikhululukira nokha ndi munthu wina ndikusankha kukhala pamtendere ndi bwino tsiku lililonse kusiyana ndi kukwiya ndi kukhumudwa. Komabe, nthawi zambiri timapeza funso ili: Kodi mumakhululukira bwanji munthu amene amakukhumudwitsanibe? Chinthucho n’chakuti, simuyenera kuwakhululukira nthawi zonse, kapenanso nthawi yoyamba imene anakukhumudwitsani. Muyenera kusankha.

Monga Reddit iyi wosuta "Ndikuganiza kuti kukhululukidwa kumakhudza iwe wekha. Simukufuna kukhala ndi mkwiyo ndikuwononga tsogolo lako. Kukhululukira munthu sikutanthauza kumukhulupirira kapena kumulola kuti abwerere m'malo omwewo m'moyo wanu, ndikungosiya mphamvu zomwe zochita zawo zinali nazo. gwirani mtima wanu. "

7. Pezani chithandizo munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani

Chinthu chabwino chimene mungachite ngati wina akukhumudwitsani kwambiri ndikupempha thandizo la akatswiri. Tikakhumudwa, timakonda kuchita zinthu mongoganiza. Timakonda kulankhula zinthu zimene tinganong’oneze nazo bondo pambuyo pake kapena kupsa mtima mopanda chifukwa pa zinthu zazing’ono. Funsani dokotala yemwe angakuthandizeni kudziwa zoyenera kuchita ngati wina akukhumudwitsani. Mutha kusintha ndikukwaniritsa malingaliro anu ndi iwo, kuti muchiritse ndikupita patsogolo. Sizidzakhala zophweka koma ndizofunikira.

Nandita anati: “Ngakhale kuti munthu wina wakukhumudwitsani mumtima, ngati mutayesetsa kusintha mmene mukumvera pa nthawi yoyenera, n’kuchitapo kanthu, n’kuika malire kuti muthetse chibwenzicho, n’zothekadi kuthetsa vutolo n’kukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso wathanzi.” Ngati mukukumana ndi zomwezi, fikirani ku Bonobology gulu la akatswiri ovomerezeka komanso odziwa zambiri.

Kumbukirani kuti simuyenera kulola zowawa kuti zikufotokozereni. Mutha kusankha kuchiza munthawi yanu ndikupitilira. Kenako, tiyeni tikambirane zimene tinganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani.

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Zomwe Munganene Kwa Munthu Amene Wakukhumudwitsani M'maganizo

Ngati mumaganiza kuti tikuthandizeni kuti munene zinthu zoipa kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, mwalakwitsa kwambiri bwenzi langa. Tikakumana ndi zowawa za m'maganizo, chochita choyamba, nthawi zambiri, chimakhala kupsa mtima ndikumupwetekanso. Koma kuchita zimenezi kumangochititsa kuti nonse muzimva chisoni kwambiri, zomwe sizingathetsedwe kuwononga maganizo ku mbali zonse ziwiri. Izi sizithetsa vuto lomwe lili pafupi, makamaka ngati munthuyo ndi gawo losasiyanitsidwa la moyo wanu. Ndiye, mumkhalidwe woterowo, munganene chiyani kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani?

Nandita akufotokoza kuti, “Lankhulani modekha. Musamafulumire mkwiyo kapena kunena mawu odzudzula panthaŵiyo. Ikani malire abwino ngati kupatukana ndi munthu ameneyu sikuli kofunika kusankhapo. Nthaŵi zina mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu amatipangitsa kumva kuti tapusitsidwa ndi kusweka mtima chifukwa cha zochita kapena mawu awo.

Katswiri wathu amakuuzani zoyenera kuchita munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani: “Nthawi ngati zimenezi, mungafunike chipiriro cha m’maganizo kuti muchitire chifundo munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, ndi kukhala munthu wamkulu.

1. Pewani kuimba mlandu

Lamulo loyamba loyenera kutsatira mukakumana ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani ndi kupewa kukunamizirani. Ukaimba mlandu munthu wakhalidwe lolakwika, zomwe zimachitika koyamba zimakhala zodzitchinjiriza. sinthani zokambiranazo kukhala mkangano, ndipo potsirizira pake n’kumenyana, ngati zinthu zafika povuta. Zonsezi sizingapangitse wina kuzindikira kuti wakukhumudwitsani, ngati ndicho cholinga chanu. Tikudziwa, mukuphunzirabe momwe mungachitire ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Koma musanene mawu ngati:

• Zomwe mumachita ndikukuwa
• Nthawi zonse mumandinyoza
• Ndinu choyipa kwambiri chomwe chidandichitikirapo
• Simukuwoneka kuti simusamala za malingaliro anga

Ndiye mungamupangitse bwanji wina kuzindikira kuti wakukhumudwitsani? Lankhulani nawo za mmene mukumvera. Izi akuti Reddit wosuta, “Mukafika kwa mnzanu, peŵani mawu omuunika monga “Mwachita izi” kapena “Mwachita izo.” Izi zimakuchotserani mphamvu ndipo zimapanga malingaliro ozunzidwa m'malo mwake, sungani mphamvu ndi ulemu wanu pozindikira zomwe mukumvera ndikudziwitsa mnzanu zomwe mukukumana nazo.

Yambani mawu anu ndi 'Ine' mukamakambirana nkhaniyi. Mwachitsanzo, “Ndinakhumudwa pamene munandilankhula mawu achipongwe.” Onetsetsani kuti mumayang'ana kwambiri momwe mukumvera m'malo mowaweruza kuti ndi amwano komanso osaganizira ena. Izi zimachotsa chidani pazokambirana ndikupangitsa kukhala kosavuta kufika pakumvetsetsana ndikupanga malo otetezeka kwa inu nonse muubwenzi.

2. Pewani kunena zam'mbuyo

Izi sizikunena. Pamene mukulankhula ndi zowawa zomwe zachitika panopa, lingaliro lobweretsa vuto linalake lopweteka, lomwe layankhidwa kale, lingakhale lokopa kwambiri. Koma musagwere mumsampha. Mukabweretsa zowawa zakale, zowawa zapano zimakhala zovuta kupirira. Komanso, malingaliro olakwika akale ndi amasiku ano osakanikirana amalimbitsa mkwiyo wanu ndi mkwiyo kwa munthu uyu, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuyang'ana pa zosowa zomwe zikuchitika panopa.

Pewani kunena zinthu monga:

• Aka sikoyamba kuti mwanyoza zomwe ndakwaniritsa. Munatanthauza kuti kukwezedwa kwanga koyamba kunali kopanda pake. Kodi mukuchita nsanje ndi kupambana kwanga?
• Chaka chatha, ndimafuna kuti muzicheza nane patchuthi. Koma ndikuganiza kuti anzanu anali ofunika kwambiri. Sindinali patsogolo panu. Sindine patsogolo panu tsopano

Ndiye, mungamuuze bwanji munthu kuti akukhumudwitsani osatengeka ndi kukumbukira mikangano yam'mbuyomu? Ngati mukufuna konzani ubale wanu ndi munthu amene amakupwetekani mtima, lankhulani naye za ululu umene akukuvutitsani panopa. Kukhala wokwiya kosatha kapena kubwereza zomwe zachitika kale kumangosokoneza zinthu kwambiri. Komabe, ngati munthuyu wakhala ndi chizolowezi chokupweteketsani, ndiye kuti muyenera kuganiziranso ngati ubalewu ndi woyenera kupulumutsidwa kapena muyenera kuti munathetsa zinthu kalekale.

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3. Kodi munganene chiyani kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani? Zindikirani udindo wanu pankhaniyi

Nandita akufotokoza kuti: “Nthaŵi zina kudzilingalira pang’ono kumapita patsogolo kwambiri pakupeza kaonedwe kofunikira kwambiri pamene munthu amene mumam’samalira akukupwetekani kwambiri.” Mwadzidzidzi, moyo wanu wonse umakhala ngati wabodza.

Izi ndizofunikira ngati mukufuna kukonza ndi kulimbikitsa ubale ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani mumtima. Musanalankhule nawo, pendani ndi kuzindikira mbali imene munachita m’nkhani yonseyo. N’kutheka kuti simunawamvetse bwino kapena munalankhula zinthu zimene simuyenera kuchita, ndipo zimenezi zinawachititsa kuti azichita mwano. Sizilungamitsa zochita zawo koma zimathandiza kufotokoza mkhalidwewo. Mutha kunena kuti:

• Pepani kuti zochita zanga zinakukhumudwitsani ndipo ndinakupangani kumva choncho
• Ndikupepesa chifukwa cha khalidwe langa. Nthawi yomweyo, ndimakhulupiriranso kuti zomwe mwachita / zomwe mwanena zinali zolakwika
• Ndikuvomereza kuti ndinalakwitsa ndipo ndikupepesa. Ndi chifukwa chake mwanena ?

Nthawi zina, anthu amakonda kupeputsa mlandu ndikupangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati ndiwe wolakwa. Pepani chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kwanu koma fotokozani momveka bwino kuti simuli ndi mlandu pa zomwe 'iwo' adachita. Malire abwino ndi kulankhulana kwabwino ndi njira zoyenera zopitira pamene mukuphunzira kuthana ndi zowawa. Osagwera mumsampha wovomereza kulakwa kwabodza.

4. Osachitapo kanthu. Yankhani

Zimenezi zimafuna kudziletsa kwambiri chifukwa kuchita zimene akunenazo kumangowonjezera mkhalidwewo. Kukambirana kutha kusanayambike. Imani kaye musanayankhe ngakhale kuti chibadwa chanu chingakupangitseni kuti musinthe. Pumirani mozama ndikuganizira za yankho lanu m'malo molola kuti malingaliro anu asinthe. Ndizovuta koma muyenera kukhala odekha komanso okhazikika poyankha munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani.

Nandita akufotokoza kuti: “Yesetsani kuchita zonse zimene mungathe kuti musamachite zinthu ndi vutolo.

Njira yabwino yothanirana ndi zimenezi ndi kukhala ndi mtima woyanjanitsa ndi wovomereza. Sizitanthauza kuti mumagwirizana ndi zimene akunena. Pamapeto pake, mulipo kuti mukonze zinthu komanso thandizani ubale wanu ndipo musawononge equation yomwe muli nayo wina ndi mzake.

5. Mvetserani mbali yawo ya nkhaniyi

Nandita anafotokoza zimene muyenera kuchita munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani, kuti: “Ngakhale kuti n’kofunika kufotokoza zimene mukumvera, m’pofunikanso kumvetsera zimene mnzanuyo akunena.

Pamene mukulankhula ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, kumbukirani kuti n’kutheka kuti si inu amene munamukwiyitsa ndipo ndi zinanso zimene zinawakhumudwitsa. Sizilungamitsa zomwe adachita koma akuyenera kukhala ndi mwayi patebulo. Ndipotu kukambirana ndi anthu awiri.

Tikumvetsetsa kuti sikophweka kuchitira chifundo munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Mwina simungakonde zimene akunena, koma ngati mukufuna kuti amvetsere maganizo anu ndi mmene mukumvera, muyeneranso kukhala wofunitsitsa kumvetsera maganizo awo. Muyenera kuwapatsa mwayi wogawana nawo malingaliro awo pazochitika zonse. Mukangomva mbali yawo, zidzakuikani pamalo abwino kuti muyankhe maganizo awo.

Tiye tione mmene tingachitire ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Mutha kuyambitsa zokambirana ndi:

• Ndimasamala za inu ndi ubale wathu, ndichifukwa chake ndikufuna kuthetsa kusamvanaku
• Ndinu ofunika kwa ine. Ndichifukwa chake ndikufuna kuyankhula nanu kuti tidutse apa
• Ndikufuna kukambirana nanu momasuka izi kuti timvetsetsane bwino
• Ndimakulemekezani komanso ndimakusamalani kwambiri. Ndikufuna tikambirane izi kuti mtsogolomu tidzapewe izi

Mawu oterowo adzawasonyeza kuti mumasamala za iwo ndi ubalewo, ndikuwalimbikitsa kuti atsegule ndi kuthetsa vuto lomwe lilipo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Munganene Chiyani Kwa Munthu Amene Wakuperekani?

6. Mumamupanga bwanji munthu kuzindikira kuti wakukhumudwitsani? Auzeni mwachidule zimene anaona kuti n’zopanda ulemu

Ngati munthu uyu ndi woyenera kukhala naye kwa nthawi yayitali, chinthu chabwino kwambiri chingakhale kuwauza zomwe zakukhumudwitsani. Osalozera mwatsatanetsatane kapena tsatanetsatane wa zomwe zidachitika. Osawaikira kumbuyo ponena kuti, “Ndikudziwa kuti simunafune kundivulaza.” Dziwani zomwe zochita zawo zidayambitsa. Angayese kukusokonezani. Zikatero, auzeni mwaulemu kuti mukufuna kumva maganizo awo pa nkhaniyo, koma mukufuna kuti akumveni kaye.

Mutha kunena motere:

• Pamene munanena zimenezi, ndinadzimva kukhala wonyozeka ndi wowawidwa mtima
• Pamene ndikuyesera kufotokoza maganizo anga, munalankhula mawu achipongwe ndipo zinandipweteka kwambiri
• Nditakuuzani vuto langa, munandipangitsa kumva ngati vuto langa lonse komanso kuti ndadzibweretsera mavuto onse.

Nandita akugawana nzeru zake za momwe mungachitire ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, "Mukawona kuti ndinu okhoza kulamulira, muuzeni winayo zakukhosi kwanu. Osapupuluma kapena kukhala ndi mpikisano waukulu chifukwa zingapangitse zinthu kuipiraipira. Nenani kuti munakhumudwa ndi zomwe ananena kapena kukuchitirani. kulankhulana n’kofunika. "

7. Siyani kufunika kokhala wolondola kapena kuteteza maganizo anu

Mfundo ina yofunika kwambiri pa zimene munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani: Pewani kudziikira kumbuyo kapena kutsimikizira kuti mukulondola. Pamene wina wakukhumudwitsani kwambiri, pamakhala chizoloŵezi chodzitchinjiriza ndi kuyesa kutsimikizira kuti winayo ndi wolakwa. Pewani kuchita zimenezo. Perekani malingaliro anu ndikuchotsa chidani chilichonse kapena chitetezo chomwe chilipo pamawu anu. Gwirizanani kuti musagwirizane nazo.

8. Pezani nthawi yopuma ngati mukufunikira kutero mukamalankhula ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani

Kukambirana ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani kungakhale chinthu champhamvu komanso chotopetsa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake simuyenera kuzengereza kupuma ngati zikuchulukirachulukira kwa inu. Pokhapokha mutadzimva kuti ndinu okhazikika komanso okhazikika, simungathe kufotokozera kukhumudwa kwanu kwa munthu wina. Ngati kukambirana sikukuyenda bwino, ikani kaye kwa kanthawi. Fotokozerani munthu winayo zimenezo muyenera kupuma ndi chifukwa chanu chofunira chimodzi. Mutha kunena kuti:

• Ndikufuna kuthetsa vuto lomwe lili pakati pathu koma, pakadali pano, zokambiranazi zikundichulukirachulukira ndipo, ndikuganiza, kwa inunso. Kodi tingapume kaye ndi kubweranso pamene tonse takonzeka?
• Zokambiranazi zikundipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wokhumudwa komanso wotopa. Nanga bwanji tipume kwa theka la ola ndikuyambiranso?
• Kukambiranaku kukukulirakulira ndipo ndikuvomereza kuti tisapitirize kuyankhula. Koma ndikufuna kuthetsa nkhaniyi m’malo moisiya kwa nthawi yaitali. Kodi muli omasuka kulankhula za izo mawa?

Ndikofunikira kuti mubwererenso ku zokambiranazo m'malo mozisiya pamutu panu. Ngati simuthetsa posachedwa, zidzakhala zovuta kuti mubwererenso mtsogolo. Izi Reddit wosuta akuti, “Ngati sindine wokonzeka kupereka mpata wofanana ku malingaliro awo, ndimawauza mwaulemu kuti ndalemedwa pang’ono pakali pano ndipo ndifunikira malo koma ndidzafikira iwo pamene ndapeza bwino.

9. Sankhani zomwe mukufuna kuchita pa chibwenzi

Sikuti nthawi zonse ndikofunikira kukonza ubalewo. Pamene wina akukhumudwitsani ndipo sakusamala, ndi bwino kuthetsa mphamvuzo m'malo momangokhalira kukhumudwa. Zomwe mungachite ndikuwafotokozera kuti akukhumudwitsani ndipo popeza sakufuna kuvomereza kapena kuvomereza kuti analakwitsa, auzeni kuti mungafunike kutero. lingaliraninso za ubale wanu.

Momwe mungachitire ndi munthu yemwe wakukhumudwitsani, Reddit iyi wosuta ili ndi yankho lakuti: “Lankhulani kuti zizoloŵezi zawo zimakupwetekani ndipo simukufuna kukhala nawo ... Anthu ali ndi zizoloŵezi zoipa pazifukwa zambiri.

Kuganizira zomwe munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani? Yesani izi:

• Ndatha kulekerera kusalemekeza masiku otsiriza ndipo ndikuganiza kuti zikhala bwino kuti tonse tisiyane.
• Kunena zowona, pakadali pano, sindikumva chiyembekezo chamtsogolo cha ubalewu. Pokhapokha mutazindikira kupwetekedwa mtima komwe mwandibweretsera ndikuyesetsa kukonza ubale wathu, ndikufuna ndibwerere mmbuyo ndikuganiziranso zonse.
• Ndikhulupilira kuti mwamvetsetsa kuti mwandipweteketsa mtima nthawi ino ngakhale sizinali zadala pamapeto anu. Tonse tikudziwa kuti sitingachite popanda wina ndi mnzake. Ndiye, bwanji kuti tichitepo kanthu lumikizananinso pambuyo pa nkhondo yayikuluyi ndikumvanso pafupi?

Komabe, musanawauze zimenezo, onetsetsani kuti musayembekezere zambiri. Ngati saona kuti akulakwitsa, sangapepese, n’chifukwa chake muzingoganizira mmene mukumvera komanso zosankha zanu poika malire. Ngakhale atapepesa, kumbukirani kuti simuyenera kuwakhululukira kapena kuwasunga m’moyo wanu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti ali ndi poizoni ndipo makhalidwe awo ndi ovuta kuwagwira, chokani pachibwenzi. Kapena khalani abwenzi - zili ndi inu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 21 Zomwe Muyenera Kusiya Kuti Mukhale Bwino

10. Auzeni zomwe mungafune kuti azichita mosiyana

Mukathana ndi vutolo ndikuchotsa malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu pachifuwa chanu, yesani kupeza njira yothetsera vutoli kuti zinthu zotere zisabwerenso. Ngati mukufunabe kusunga chibwenzicho, muuzeni munthuyo zomwe mungafune kuti achite mosiyana m'tsogolomu ndikumufotokozera zifukwa zanu. Ikani malire ndikuwonetsetsa kuti winayo akulemekezani komanso zomwe simungakwanitse. Adziwitseni kuti ndi ofunikira kwa inu komanso kuti mumasamala za iwo, koma pali mizere ina yomwe sangathe kuwoloka.

Kodi mungatani ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani? Lembani nkhawa zanu motere:

• Ndikuganiza kuti ngati tisiya kuloza zolakwa za wina ndi mnzake nthawi zonse ndi kusiya kulimbana pa chilichonse, tidzakhala ndi mtendere wamumtima.
• Ndingakhale womasuka ngati simunakweze mawu pokambirana vuto lomwe tonse tikuyesera kuthetsa. Zimandipangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa ine kukhala ndi malingaliro omasuka pazovuta zanu
• Muyenera kuzindikira kuti kunena mawu otukwana pakati pa ndewu kumandinyoza kwambiri. Kodi mungasiye kuchita zimenezo?

Paubwenzi, n’zachidziŵikire kuti anthu okhudzidwawo amakwiyirana nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi. Padzakhala nthawi pamene onse awiri adzatero kunena zopweteka kwa wina ndi mnzake. Zimenezi zikachitika, n’zosavuta kupsa mtima. Koma kusunga zokambiranazo ngati mwakhumudwa komanso mwakhumudwa kungathandize kuthetsa chibwenzicho. Ngati sichikonzedwa, ikupatsani kutseka.

Zinthu 5 Zofunika Kuzikumbukira Polankhulana

Kulankhulana kosayenera ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimalepheretsa ubale. Ngati wina wakukhumudwitsani kwambiri ndipo mukufuna kukambirana naye za nkhaniyi, onetsetsani kuti mwalankhula naye m’njira yoyenera. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kukumbukira mukamalankhulana ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani:

1. Mvetserani chimene chachititsa kuti mupweteke

Musanaganize zoti munganene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani, ganizirani zimene zinachitikazo ndipo yesetsani kumvetsa chifukwa chake mukukhumudwa. Kumbukirani kuti si nthawi zonse kuvulaza munthu mwadala. Mwina kunali kusamvetsetsana. Mwina sanazindikire kuti zingakukhudzeni kwambiri. Kuvomereza izi kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi vutoli bwino.

"Mutavomereza malingaliro anu ndipo mukukhala bwino m'maganizo, yesetsani kumvetsetsa zinthu izi: Kodi munthu winayo adakukhumudwitsani ndi chiyani? Kodi anali mawu, zochita zake, kapena momwe adachitira kapena sanachite bwino? Kodi mumayembekezera kuti azichita mwanjira inayake? Dzifunseni kuti n'chifukwa chiyani mumamva choncho," akutero Nandita.

Yang'anani momwe zinthu zilili m'njira yoyenera ndipo khulupirirani chibadwa chanu. Mukakhumudwitsidwa, kungakhale kosavuta ndi kuyesa kukumba zowawa zakale ndikuzibweretsa mumkhalidwe womwe ulipo. Kupwetekedwa kwamakono kungayambitse chisoni cham'mbuyomo ndikusiya maganizo omasuka omwe angakhale olemetsa kwambiri. Komabe, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri zomwe zikuchitika pano kuti muthane ndi zowawazo komanso lamulirani mkwiyo mukukumana nazo.

2. Ganizirani zomwe mukufuna kunena

Mukamvetsetsa ndikukonza zowawa ndi mkwiyo, konzekerani malingaliro anu mosamala ndikukonzekera yankho lanu. Zitha kukhala zovuta kukumana kapena kuyankhula ndi munthu yemwe wakukhumudwitsani chifukwa mutha kuphonya mfundoyo kapena kukambirana molakwika, kapena mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mawu omwe munganong'oneze nawo bondo.

Izi Reddit wosuta akufotokoza mmene mungachitire ndi kupwetekedwa mtima m’chibwenzi, “Ngati mukuona kuti m’pofunika kudzipatula mwamsanga, gwiritsani ntchito nthaŵiyo kuti mutenge maganizo anu, ndi kuzindikira mmene mukumvera kuti muthe kuthetsa vutolo ndi mnzanuyo.” Chifukwa chake, ganizirani zomwe mukufuna kunena ndi momwe mungayankhire zokambiranazo kuti musalole kuti kutengeka mtima kukugonjetseni.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Katundu Wamtima - Zomwe Zimayambitsa, Zizindikiro, ndi Njira Zothetsera

3. Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani? Khalani achifundo

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mfundo zofunika kwambiri kukumbukira pamene mukukambirana ndi munthu amene wakhumudwitsa inu. Nthawi zina zimachitika kuti munthu amene wakukhumudwitsaniyo wachita zimenezi chifukwa nayenso akumva ululu. Ngakhale kuti izi sizikutanthauza kuti akukhumudwitsani ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuwasiya kuti asiyane ndi khalidweli, zimathandiza kuwamvetsa bwino.

Ndikofunika kuti wina azindikire kuti wakukhumudwitsani ndipo kuti muchite zimenezo, muyenera kulankhula naye mwachifundo. Osalowa ndi cholinga chokuwa ndi kuwatsekereza. Osayang'ana mawu opweteka oti munene kwa munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani. Yesetsani kumvetsa kumene akuchokera. Lingaliro ndikulankhulana mwachilungamo, kuyika malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu patebulo, kumvetsera mbali yawo ya nkhaniyo, ndiyeno fikani panjira yabwino.

"Munthu winayo angakhale akukumana ndi nthawi yovuta. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zina zomwe zimayambitsa khalidwe lawo. Payenera kukhala chifukwa - kaya ndi chovomerezeka kapena ayi chiyenera kugamulidwa pambuyo pake. Mukangovomereza zimenezo, zimakhala zosavuta kusonyeza chifundo ndi kulankhulana m'njira yomwe ingathe kukonza ubalewo, "Nandita akufotokoza.

4. Dziikireni malire anu

Sikuti maubwenzi onse amakhala kosatha. Chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kukumbukira polankhula ndi munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani ndikuti simuyenera kubwereranso momwe zinthu zinalili zisanachitike. M'malo mwake, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti simukukakamizika kulowanso mumkhalidwe woterowo. Ndipo chifukwa chomwechi, ndikofunika kuti muyike malire kapena malire anu kuti mupange malo otetezeka muubwenzi wanu. Malangizo athu amomwe mungathanirane ndi zowawa muubwenzi:

• Unikani ndi kusankha zochita za munthu amene mukufuna kuvomereza ndi zosayenera
• Dziwani zosowa zanu komanso ngati mwakonzeka kutero asiye zowawa ndi kupita patsogolo
• Mvetserani ngati ndinu wokonzeka kuwakhululukira, ndipo ngati ndinu wokonzeka, kodi zikutanthauza kuti mukufunabe kukhala nawo paubwenzi?
• Yesetsani kumvera zomwe m'matumbo anu akukuuzani ndikusankha malire anu musanayandikire munthu amene wakukhumudwitsani

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 20 Zotsimikizirika Zomupangitsa Kudziona Wolakwa Pokuvulazani

5. Dziwani kuti kukhumudwa sikuchotsa chimwemwe chanu

Ngakhale mukumva kuti mwaperekedwa komanso kusweka mtima panthawiyo ndipo chilichonse chikuwoneka ngati chipwirikiti, musalole kuti zowawazo zikhale mbali ya chidziwitso chanu. Musalole kuti zitsimikizire chimwemwe chanu ndi maganizo anu m'moyo. Simuyenera kugwedezeka muzowawa zanu kwamuyaya, ndipo ndizotheka kupitiriza. Ndi zotheka kukhululukira munthuyo ndi inu nokha pa chilichonse chomwe chachitika ndikudutsamo. Chifukwa chake, yesetsani kudzisamalira tsiku ndi tsiku, dzinyamuleni, ndipo pamapeto pake, zisiyeni.

Mukakumana ndi zowawa zamalingaliro, ambiri angakuuzeni kuti mungosiya ndikuyiwalani. Mvetserani kuti si njira yabwino kapena yathanzi. Kupweteka kokulirapo kudzawononga mtendere wanu wamalingaliro ndikukupangitsani kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu m'njira zapoizoni. Muyenera kukonza zopweteka zanu ndi mkwiyo wanu, kulankhula ndi munthuyo za izo, kuphunzira kuchiritsa, ndi kupeza chitonthozo chanu ndi chisangalalo.

Mukuganiza bwanji za malangizo athu amomwe mungathanirane ndi zowawa muubwenzi? Tikukhulupirira kuti adakubweretserani kumveka bwino pang'ono ndi mtendere. Tikukulimbikitsani pamene mukukonzekera masitepe anu otsatira.

Ibibazo

Kupanga Mtendere ndi Zakale - Malangizo 13 Anzeru

Zizindikiro 9 Muli Ndi Nkhani Zazikulu Zolankhulana Muubwenzi Wanu

19 Zitsanzo Zamalire Athanzi Pamaubwenzi

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.