You know me and my big-mouth syndrome!
I just get straight to the point. This guy was a senior strategist, Japan returned, newbie. He was very quiet, but with a name like Jacob Varughese, I couldn’t resist starting a conversation, after all bhai-jaath and all.
Why hygiene is important for a healthy sexual relationship
So, every lunch hour I would waylay him and ask questions, about his hometown in Kerala, why he went to Japan and why he had returned. So it turned out that he had a great job in Kyoto and met this very pretty and willing girl and soon they moved in together. After ten years of blissful togetherness, Jacob gave in to the mounting pressure to marry a girl from his own community. He convinced his partner about the situation and they parted ways amicably. He then returned to his parents, and a suitable match was fixed and got married.
Within the year he got a divorce, which is very difficult among the Catholic community, on the grounds of incompatibility. By now we had become good friends and we shared a lot of stuff about each other. I probed the reasons for his divorce, could it have been that he was emotionally obsessed by his Japanese lover? He said he had been over it, and that the only reason was hygiene.
She wouldn’t wax or clean
I said, “No one can say Mallus are unclean, are you an OCD person?” Then he elaborated – she had hair all over her body, which he was OK about, because waxing was unheard of in those days – 1999 or thereabouts. She had long armpit hair and he didn’t want to discuss the Netherlands, he was so upset. So early on in the marriage he brought it up with his wife, who took great offense. Her argument was “I am a gold medal winner in engineering, how dare you talk to me about it.”
He was willing to add shaving the nasties to bath-time foreplay, but she wouldn’t wash each time she peed, his face wrinkled in disgust. Not to mention the days when she had her period. And her giant sized ego. Kerala is a humid place and women use coconut oil for the hair on their head giving them a rancid overall smell. People who use mustard oil also have a similar putrid aura around them. For most men it’s all about finding the right hole and getting the job done. But our hero had tasted the exotic luxuries of lovemaking.
It depends on the community
Later I discovered that both men and women of the Muslim community are far advanced in hygiene. They wash their genitalia after every round of pee, and mostly stay waxed/shaven. Also, the uncircumcised penis collects smegma, (a sebaceous secretion in the folds of the skin, especially under a man’s foreskin) and besides being smelly, causes several infections in their female sexual partners.
A few years later, in 2001 I met Jacob; he had remarried a girl from his church in Bangalore. He looked happy.