Breaking up and then moving on in your life requires a lot of strength and confidence. Yes, it’s true that it is more difficult to get over some people than others. You miss being in a relationship and you miss being wanted and cared for. While it is normal to go through the stages of breakup like grief and denial, it is not too wise to let the pain linger too long.
Breakups can be brutal if you fail to move on and keep lingering in the past. This will be unhealthy for you in the long run, because you will be unable to accept true love as and when it comes your way.
15 signs you are still not over your ex
Wounds of the heart take time to heal. Sometimes the negative feelings and pain lingers on and on for years. These feelings can mess with our lives, causing us to be less productive in all areas. Not being over a breakup reflects in our attitude, and one is unable to focus on better things that life has to offer. The stress and the tension damages the person you are; and being hung up on your ex prevents you from finding love and happiness again.
Here is a quick checklist of 15 signs that will tell you whether you are over your ex or not. In case you find yourself brooding over the past, then it is high time you get hold of yourself and figure a way out of it.
1. You keep stalking your ex’s social media profiles
Whether it is Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, or Snapchat, if you find yourself visiting his/her profile on a regular basis without fail, then it is a sign that you are still not over him/her. You will keep stalking your ex’s profiles because you keep thinking about your ex and it is one of the convenient ways to know about him/her without letting him/her know. Remember that this habit is not good for you, because it can turn into an obsession. So stop doing it and control your emotions.
2. You keep mentioning your ex during conversations
This is one of the easiest signs, because it is only when you have not forgotten your ex completely that you keep talking about him/her. In order to be sure of this, you can ask your close friends and relatives about their opinion regarding this sign. Do not be surprised if they tell you that they too noticed this and do not find it quite healthy for you.
3. You try to meet your ex accidentally
Getting over someone you see every day is not a cakewalk, especially if he/she works in the same office or has the same group of friends. So after the separation, it is important that you keep your distance from your ex. However, if you find yourself making excuses to meet your ex, like visiting his/her favourite café or attending some event he/she will be a part of, then it is a warning signal for sure.
Related reading: 12 things to remember when you run into your ex
4. You avoid getting into another relationship
You keep ditching the dates your friends find for you with all efforts, because your ex still occupies your heart and mind. When you are already stuck on one person, obviously you will find it difficult to see a future with someone else. So ultimately you will avoid getting into any other relationship.
5. You despise your ex’s new love interest
If you are unable to move on, that does not mean that your ex will also hold on to you. Your ex might have found their new love interest and you will find yourself despising that person. You will not think twice before talking bad about your ex’s current love interest, when you might not even know that person personally. This is just because you are jealous and have failed to move on.
6. You feel tempted to call or text your ex
When you feel like you have to contact your ex via a call or text without any solid reason, then it is a cause of concern. It is a sign that you still want to reach out to your ex, because you feel empty and incomplete without him/her. Delete your ex’s number if the temptation takes a toll on you. Not contacting him/her for the time being would be a smart move on your part and help you move on
7. You keep revisiting memory lane
No doubt the times you have spent with your ex will be embossed in your memory and it will be really hard to get over those memories. If you keep on looking at old pictures and gifts and brooding over them, then it clearly indicates that you are not over your ex. However, continuously revisiting the memories and daydreaming about them can keep you bound in that relationship and you will not get an opportunity to find true love.
8. You compare your potential date with your ex
After a lot of convincing even if you agree to go on a date, then you will notice that you will go on comparing that guy/girl with your ex. Maybe you do this unconsciously, but then you want your new date to live up to the standard set by your ex. Remember, this is totally unfair, and you must not do this. Get over your ex already to judge your new date in an unbiased way. Make sure you are ready and willing to go on a date to have a good experience.
9. You fail to throw away your ex’s belongings
The moment you break up, it is best that you either give back your ex’s belongings or throw them away, especially if those things remind you of him/her. However, even months after the breakup if you are still holding on to your ex’s gifts and pictures, then it is a clear sign that you are still stuck on him/her.
10. You try to convince people that you are okay
Well, a person who is confident and strong enough to move on after a separation will obviously not go about trying to convince the people around that he/she is okay. In case you are trying to persuade your friends that you are okay and have moved on, then there is a high chance that you are giving yourself a message that things are not really okay.
11. You bring new changes in yourself
You will try to transform your appearance or try to pursue a new hobby, because these are certain changes that your ex might have wanted while he/she was with you. Yes, it is good to bring new changes in yourself, but do not think that these changes will bring your ex back in your life again. Such thinking will only harm you.
12. You constantly keep in touch with your ex’s friends and family
It might be very much possible that while you were in a relationship with your ex, you became very close to your ex’s friends or family members. Cutting off ties with them would be the best option after the breakup. However, if you still find yourself contacting them and meeting them just in the hope of getting through your ex, then it is a sign of obsessive thoughts.
13. You utilise social media to express your frustration or desperation
Posting beautiful pictures of yourself on social media websites, flirting with others on social media, posting relationship memes or subtle quotes on your social media profiles – these will represent your frustration and desperation to get him/her back. So avoid it at all costs.
14. You act awkward around your ex
Did you or your ex end the relationship on the note that both of you will be friends and cordial to each other? If yes and you still find yourself being awkward, avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, etc. when you bump into your him/her then it means that you are not truly over your ex. Some time off may possibly help.
15. You still feel there is a future with your ex
In case you still have this lingering feeling that there is a future with your ex, then it evidently means that you still love him/her. You need to wake up to the fact that if there was a future, the relationship would have worked. Focus on the reasons why you had to break up and get rid of false hopes.
It is indeed very scary and overwhelming to get over a breakup.
However, give yourself time to heal and a chance to embrace new love openly and wholeheartedly.