“I think we need to break up.” Hearing these words can turn your world upside down in a fraction of a second. After your heart is crushed into pieces by your partner, the hardest and bravest thing is to get over your ex-boyfriend and move on with your life. As Lord Byron wisely wrote, “The heart will break, but broken live on.”
But how to get over your ex-boyfriend and put the past behind you? Calling it challenging would be an understatement. You have all those years of memories to deal with, and moreover, feelings can’t just vanish right away. Your concerns are valid, and truly there is no instant formula that helps you heal.
But you can certainly make things smoother and more comfortable for yourself with these 18 ways to get over an ex you still love. Adopting a few of these practices will help you much more than you think.
18 Proven Ways To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend
How do I stop missing my ex? Do I still love my ex? After the breakup, such questions frequent your mind. It is because you are still replaying all those memories in your mind – of the happy times in the relationship and those of the breakup too. Your life is at a standstill and nothing is going right; perhaps you feel profoundly directionless. Spells of grief, distraction, anger, and loss of appetite are all post-breakup effects.
Maybe you still haven’t got closure from your ex-boyfriend and this is preventing you from moving on with your life. But it is important to get over your ex-boyfriend for your own wellbeing. For how long will you wallow in the sadness of your broken relationship? Getting over your ex is as inevitable and necessary as it is difficult.
Let us answer all your questions, and resolve your dilemmas. We begin by prioritizing yourself; for the duration of this read – put your needs first and think of yourself only. Understood? Here we go:
1. Make yourself busy to get over your ex-boyfriend
Here comes the answer to how to avoid your ex-boyfriend. According to renowned New York psychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez, “It takes about a month to form new neural pathways in one’s mind, so the best thing to do is to get busy and pack your day with activity. Most people sink into depression when a relationship ends.”
To get over your ex-boyfriend fast it is important to keep your mind occupied so that you are able to apply yourself to things that aren’t related to your breakup. Keeping yourself busy will prevent your mind from wandering toward painful recollections. Being occupied will also prevent you from engaging in post-breakup mistakes.
2. Get those emotions out of your system
If you are a person who believes in denial and chooses to avoid your emotions so that you don’t feel the pain, then don’t do so. Denial will only help in the short term. Ignoring your emotions will lead to long-term suffering and it will get even more difficult to recover. Cry your heart out and get it out of your system once and for all.
Suppressed emotions are a recipe for disaster; it’s better to be vocal and expressive even if things get messy. Get boxes of issues, stuff your face with ice cream, and do whatever you need to when you process the breakup. Everyone copes differently. And here’s what – the aftermath of a breakup is always emotional and ugly. So what if you’re sobbing in bed?
Related Reading: 5 Steps To Ensure Closure After A Breakup – Are You Following These?
3. How to get over my ex-boyfriend? Reflect on the relationship
Ask yourself what the relationship was like. Were you happy? Was it about the two of you or just about him? When you look back and contemplate the ins and outs, you will realize how blinded you were by love. Things are always clearer in retrospect. Once you start seeing things clearly, you will realize that the breakup was a good thing.
Maybe you both were incompatible, maybe the relationship was toxic. Perhaps he was a selfish boyfriend, or you were a clingy girlfriend. These red flags will be visible to you now. We gain (the much-needed) objectivity after a relationship ends. You can get over an ex-boyfriend who has moved on by evaluating your past connection critically.
4. Talk to someone
Talking to someone who is close to you and understands the situation that you’re in will help you gain some perspective. Reaching out to a confidante will help in taking all that pain out of your system and start the healing process. Make sure that the one you speak to has a positive outlook and is a good listener. The last thing you need is another dose of negativity.
Parents can be quite helpful when you are trying to get over an ex-boyfriend you truly loved. The same goes for siblings, friends, or mentors. If you think you need professional help, then approach a therapist or counselor who will show you the right way to cope with this loss and recover from it.
5. Write down your feelings
How to get over my ex-boyfriend, you ask? You may not be someone who likes to pen down their feelings but sometimes writing works wonders. When you are talking to another person, you may not tell them exactly how you feel and may choose to leave out a few points. But when you write, you know that you’re the only one who is going to read it.
Jotting down what’s on your mind can be a good exercise that also guarantees confidentiality. It will give you a lot of clarity by revealing the reasons behind your pain. Are there any regrets? And residual anger? You can’t get over your ex-boyfriend when you still love him blindly; gaining perspective through writing is a good remedy for the rosy glasses you’re wearing.
6. How can you get over an ex-boyfriend who has moved on? Stop blaming yourself
Many times after a breakup, people start to blame themselves for what went wrong in the relationship. They feel that their partner left them or cheated on them because they weren’t good enough. It is important to stop blaming yourself for what went wrong. Let go of the guilt that makes you feel that you’re not good enough.
Understand that it wasn’t your fault. If you were cheated on, then it boils down to your boyfriend’s toxic traits and tendencies. It isn’t on you. You can’t be held accountable for your partner’s mistakes.
7. Don’t think about being friends
You can’t be friends with someone who broke up with you. You might ask yourself, “Do I still love my ex?” And the answer could be a yes, but staying in touch with the ex is not a good idea. The no-contact rule works much better when two people decide to part ways.
You both might act like it’s okay to go back to being friends again, but it doesn’t work. At some point or another, all those feelings will explode and come out in the most unexpected ways. Being around your ex-boyfriend will be a constant reminder of your failed relationship and you won’t be able to move on.
Related Reading: Is It Okay To Be Friends With Your Ex On Social Media?
8. Dump all reminders
“How do I stop missing my ex?” If this is a question you are asking plaguing your mind, then you need to know that a detox is essential when it comes to your ex-boyfriend. If you have a shirt that smells like him or a rose that he gave you, you need to get rid of them. Any memorabilia that serves as a (painful) memory ought to be chucked out.
It could be his things, gifts he gave you, or old movie ticket stubs that you saved as a keepsake. If you want to get over your ex, you need to get rid of things that remind you of him. If you are still missing the ex because of the things lying around you, it will delay the healing process. Try and erase those memories with a few simple tricks.
9. Stop overthinking to get over an ex-boyfriend you truly loved
As the days pass by, you will think about all that has happened in the past and analyze the things that went wrong. The more you think about those episodes, the more those memories will haunt you. Stop thinking about how you could correct the events that took place.
Overthinking is poisonous to mental peace. Pondering over what-ifs and why-nots never helped anyone. The key is to not dwell over a relationship that is over. Stay in the present moment. Look forward to what is to come and focus on your life. Marilyn Monroe astutely said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
10. How to get over my ex-boyfriend? Start dating yourself
Dating yourself means me-time! It refers to the TLC you absolutely need. This philosophy of sorts promotes self-love. Instead of seeking love from another person, people are encouraged to find fulfillment in themselves. Date yourself and do things that make you happy. If you like yellow flowers, don’t wait for a boy to buy them for you.
Go to the restaurant you’ve been meaning to, and take a trip. Spend time with yourself and get comfortable being single. Self-love is the beginning of all other loves. Start getting over your ex by falling for yourself.
11. Spend time with your close ones
One thing that you must understand is that relationships may begin and end, but your family and close friends are meant to stay forever. This is the time to reconnect with your loved ones. You might have been so involved in your relationship that you weren’t able to focus on the people who actually care for you.
Socialize with them more often because your loved ones always know what to do to comfort you. There are so many things you can do – lunches, picnics, staycations, and sleepovers. Spending time with them will help you heal faster and you will not feel the need for anyone else in your life. And this is the way to get over your ex-boyfriend when you still love him.
Related Reading: The 7 Stages Of A Breakup That Everyone Goes Through
12. Cut off contact to get over an ex-boyfriend who has moved on
Try not to go after your ex and find ways to contact him. Contacting him will only make you more vulnerable and make it more difficult for you to get over him. Also, avoid the urge to stalk him on social media. You might feel lonely and want to look at him or talk to him for one last time.
Truth be told, there will never be a last time and you will find yourself stuck with his memories if you don’t cut off contact immediately. Many people wonder if they should block their ex, and the dilemma is understandable. But it is the wise choice to go with when you’re wondering how to avoid your ex-boyfriend.
13. Focus on his negatives
Instead of reminiscing about the great memories that you both shared together, focus on his negative aspects. Did he treat you well? Did he actually love you? Was he involved in the relationship as much as you? Thinking about his shortcomings will make you realize that in the end, he wasn’t worth it.
A reader from Los Angeles wrote, “I spent the first three months (after the breakup) crying and whining. I was a sobbing mess. And then a few weeks later, a friend said something about how my (ex) boyfriend had anger issues, and I had an enlightenment of some sort. I realized that I used to walk on eggshells sometimes and that his anger mattered way more than my feelings. It was a liberating realization.”
14. Think about the things you won’t miss
If you are thinking of how to get over your ex-boyfriend, instead of missing the things that happened in the past, focus on the things that you won’t miss about the relationship. There might have been many lows in the relationship where you had to struggle with your self-respect and happiness.
A relationship is certainly wonderful to be in but it requires a lot of hard work to be put in. You can put your feet up for a while and enjoy the single space. Not being committed is a very relaxing state of mind. Remind yourself of all of the above if you are trying to get over your ex-boyfriend when you still love him.
For more expert videos please subscribe to our Youtube Channel. Click here.
15. Learn and forgive
Why can’t I get over my ex even though I have a new boyfriend, you ask? Because you have not forgiven your ex. The pain and ache remain with the memory of the breakup and as a result of which, you can’t get over your ex-boyfriend. And yes, forgiving people is easier said than done but holding on to the anger is just going to damage you.
Forgive the partner who cheated on you; not for them, but for your growth and progress. Take each bad relationship experience as a lesson. Learn from the mistakes that took place in this relationship and make sure that you, or your future partner, don’t repeat them.
16. Get out of your comfort zone
It is time to start living life with a dash of newness. Get out of your comfort zone and become adventurous. Call your best friends and plan a night filled with fun and enjoyment like you’ve never done before. Diversifying your interests is a great way of getting over your ex.
Try joining a yoga class or explore that food business you had on your mind for a long time. Maybe learn a new language, or take up a dance form. The possibilities are limitless when you think about it.
Related Reading: 8 Ways to Stay Away From Love and Avoid The Pain
17. Go on a trip
Sometimes distancing yourself from the environment that keeps reminding you of your ex-boyfriend is important. Go on a trip with your friend or you can also travel solo. Meet new people and do new things. A change in environment will help you get over an ex-boyfriend you truly loved, and you will feel lighter.
You can even consider alternatives like hiking, rafting, and rock climbing if you’re into adventure sports. But if you are more of a luxury vacay gal, then a seaside resort might help you unwind. It could be an exotic location or a simple weekend trip – the point is to get away from the routine for a bit.
18. Loving yourself is the ultimate way to start getting over your ex
“I’m Not Good Enough.” Remove the “Not” from the above sentence and tell yourself each day that you are good enough. Start loving yourself instead of seeking love from others. If you keep doing that you will only end up in a rebound relationship. Once you believe that you are enough, you will realize that you don’t need anyone else but your friends and family.
Self-love is one of the most proven ways to get over your ex. As the saying goes, love yourself and rest will follow. It is hard to get over someone to whom you gave your heart. We’ve all been there. But heartbreaks are a part of life and failed relationships are just lessons that you learn.
It might be difficult getting over your ex, but it isn’t impossible. It is important, for once, to start thinking about yourself and your life. He may not have been the right guy for you and you deserve much better. Always remember that cupid strikes in the most unexpected ways so don’t give up hope on love. This one just wasn’t meant to be and your man is yet to come to sweep you off your feet.