Married Life

What does sleep have to do with how happy your marriage is?

Having troubles in your marriage? Have your partner treated for insomnia and other sleep problems first, instead of seeing a marriage counsellor
happy couple sleeping

Poor quality of sleep might be the main reason for your relationship issues

A study from the University of Arizona suggests that couples who have had sleeping issues at night also had problems in their relationship. The study showed a correlation between the quality of sleep and the relationship between two loving partners. Another study suggests that women sleep better when they have a stable, committed relationship versus when they are single. As for men, they look at the relationship with more positivity and feel good about having their partner beside them after they’ve slept well at night. Whatever these studies suggest, I have strong reasons to believe that sleeping well at night does have a very profound impact on the quality of your relationship with your partner.

Here are a few reasons why a good night’s sleep leads to happy marriages.
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Related reading: 5 bedroom Feng Shui tips to attract love and harmony

Dad snored, Mom changed her room

Just after a few years of their marriage, Mom and Dad started sleeping in separate rooms. As a child I was fine with it, but as I grew older I wanted to know why they slept in different rooms. “How can I sleep when he snores as loud as a lion’s roar?” my mother said, fuming in anger and frustration. I then wondered if the problems in their marriage were linked to the fact they did not sleep together and whenever they did, my mother did not get a good night’s sleep and my father did not like being bothered while he slept. My grandparents, on the other hand, did not have such problems. They always slept very well and compared to my parents’ marriage, their marriage seemed much easier and happier.

man snoring
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If you also face such a problem, it is highly recommended that you sort out your sleep problems first, even before you get to any other problems in your relationship. If you sleep well, then your perspective to the other problems in your relationship will be positive and fresh.

Related reading: Her husband’s snoring is destroying her peace and threatening the marriage

His disturbed sleep gave us very little time together

My partner recently is having trouble sleeping. He goes to bed very late and by the time it is morning and time to get ready to go to work, he starts feeling sleepy. Much of this has started affecting our “we” time. Since he is unable to sleep well, he wakes up in a very grumpy mood and spends the rest of the day irritated. Even the smallest argument becomes a big one because of his insomnia. Often, when he is not sleepy and I am fast asleep, he wants to have sex. When I am not up for it, it irritates him and he blames me for his sleeplessness.

I have been wanting to take him to a doctor to figure out why he cannot sleep at night on time, but as the morning hours approach he is fast asleep. A lot of our relationship issues are because of this. Every time we go out on a date, I want to come home early, as I start feeling sleepy. However, he is all energetic and wants to spend more time out. How I wish I can fix this problem quickly for both of us, so that we have a happier relationship!

Related reading: When a morning person marries a night owl

Avoid speaking of controversial topics before bed, or resolve the differences

My partner and I had a huge fight last month in the evening. Due to this argument just before our bedtime, it was only obvious that we both had disturbed sleep at night. The next day we woke up angry and our fight went on for days together. It is advised that couples should not talk about controversial topics before going to bed. Moreover, if there have been any disagreements during the day, couples must resolve them before going to bed. This ensures that you sleep well and wake up with an attitude of “Raat gayi baat gayi”.

married life

Related reading: Next time you fight with your guy…try these 9 things to make it up to him!

Wake up next to each other

After sleeping together and having a good night’s sleep, if you wake up next to each other, your relationship will never have major problems. No matter what the differences, if you can learn to let go and sleep next to each other and wake up in the morning next to each other, it is a signal for your partner that you have let go of any problems and that you will be with him/her no matter what.

Sleeping well can have a huge positive impact on your relationship with your spouse. It has been backed by research and in my personal experience. So all those couples who think that sleep has nothing to do with their problems, it is time for you to rethink.
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Little things you can do to prepare the bedroom for some passionate love-making

How our sleeping improved when we gave the children their own bedroom

Separate rooms for a married couple to sleep well?

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