Proper Sleep – The Secret Sauce To A Healthy And Happy Marriage

Working On the Marriage | | , Marketing Professional & Writer
Updated On: August 2, 2023
happy couple sleeping

Have you ever wondered how your sleep affects your relationship? A study from the University of Arizona suggests that couples who have had sleeping issues at night also had problems in their relationship. The study showed a correlation between the quality of sleep and the relationship between two partners.

Another study suggests that women sleep better when they have a stable, committed relationship versus when they are single. As for men, they look at the relationship with more positivity and feel good about having their partner beside them after they’ve slept well at night.

You may want to start doing research on how to get better sleep if you want to see improvements in your relationship or marriage.

Poor Quality Of Sleep Might Be The Main Reason For Your Relationship Issues

Whatever these studies suggest, I have strong reasons to believe that sleeping well at night does have a very profound impact on the quality of your relationship with your partner. If you’re looking to get over a sleep disorder, consider getting external help as soon as possible!

Here are a few reasons why a good night’s sleep leads to happy marriages.

Dad snored, Mom changed her room

Just after a few years of their marriage, Mom and Dad began to sleep in separate rooms. As a child I was fine with it, but as I grew older I wanted to know why they slept in different rooms. “How can I sleep when he snores as loud as a lion’s roar?” my mother said, fuming in anger and frustration.

I then wondered if the problems in their marriage were linked to the fact they did not sleep together and whenever they did, my mother did not get a good night’s sleep and my father did not like being bothered while he slept.

My grandparents, on the other hand, did not have such problems. They always slept very well and compared to my parents’ marriage, their marriage seemed much easier and happier.

I remember my parents also having conversations about how to get better sleep at night, but one failed attempt after another frustrated both of them, and they eventually ended up arguing.

How to get better sleep
Not sleeping at night made him lethargic in the morning

If you also face such a problem, it is highly recommended that you sort out your sleep disorder and problems first, even before you get to any other problems in your relationship. If you sleep well, then your perspective of the other problems in your relationship will be positive and fresh.

His disturbed sleep gave us very little time together

Recently my partner has been having trouble sleeping. He goes to bed very late and by the time it is morning and time to get ready to go to work, he starts feeling sleepy. Much of this has started affecting our “we” time.

Since he is unable to sleep well, he wakes up in a very grumpy mood and spends the rest of the day irritated. Even the smallest argument becomes a big one because of his insomnia.

Often, when he is not sleepy and I am fast asleep, he wants to have sex. When I am not up for it, it irritates him and he blames me for his sleeplessness. This has been happening for quite some time now.

I have been wanting to take him to a doctor to figure out how to get better sleep, but as the morning hours approach he is fast asleep. A lot of issues in our relationship are because of this. Every time we go out on a date, I want to come home early, as I start feeling sleepy. However, he is all energetic and wants to spend more time out.

How I wish I can fix this problem quickly for both of us, so that we have a happier relationship! Many apprehensions began plaguing my mind and I began to wonder if there was even a solution to this problem.

Related Reading: When A Morning Person Marries A Night Owl

Avoid speaking on controversial topics before bed, or resolve the differences

My partner and I had a huge fight last month in the evening. Due to this argument just before our bedtime, it was only obvious that we both had disturbed sleep at night. The next day we woke up angry and our fight went on for days together.

The cause of our fight was something so silly that we can’t even remember it now. But because we went to sleep angry, we remained angry for the rest of the week.

It is advised that couples should not talk about controversial topics before going to bed. Moreover, if there have been any disagreements during the day, couples must resolve them before going to bed. This ensures that you sleep well and wake up with an attitude of “Raat gayi baat gayi”.

Wake up next to each other

After sleeping together and having a good night’s sleep, if you wake up next to each other, your relationship will never have major problems. Sleeping in separate rooms can be a sign of a failing marriage.

No matter what the differences, if you can learn to let go and sleep next to each other and wake up in the morning next to each other, it is a signal for your partner that you have let go of any problems and that you will be with him/her no matter what.

Sleeping well can have a huge positive impact on your relationship with your spouse. So it is highly recommended you search for ways on how to get better sleep.

It has been backed by research and in my personal experience. So all those couples who think that sleep has nothing to do with their problems, it is time for you to rethink.


1. How do you identify a sleep disorder?

If you see the begin to experience signs of insomnia, and you feel lethargic in the mornings- you should probably look into the reasons and get yourself the right treatment.

2. How does sleeping affect my relationship?

If you don’t sleep well, it’s going to show in your attitude. Sometimes fights among couples is more frequent if one member in the relationship hasn’t slept well.

3. What are some recommended solutions?

Try some tried and tested methods like having warm milk before sleeping, or read a book. If the situation is getting to a point that is unmanageable, it is recommended you seek professional help.

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