A married man flirting with you could mean a thousand questions crossing your mind. Do I look available? Am I giving out the wrong signals? Does he think I am easy to impress?
Let us tell you men do tend to flirt and in fact, they do not even take the rejection to heart. If you are a single woman and you find a married man is hitting on you at a party, treat it as part of his male ego to see if he gets attention back from you. It has nothing to do with how you look, dress or your body language. It’s all about how he thinks.
A married man could be flirting with a married woman too and he can flirt for a number of reasons. It could be harmless fun or it could mean a lot more than meets the eye.
To be honest it is a huge grey area. He could be flirting because he is unhappy with his marriage partner or he could be flirting because it is in his nature to be sweet and pleasant.
Related Reading: What I learned from my affair with a married man
But then, it could also mean that they want more from the relationship and have deeper plans. When a married man flirts with you and gives you all the signals which you reject, he may still pursue you and even try and manipulate you swearing that he has fallen for you and his feelings are real. These are signs a married man wants you.
Handling a married man flirting with you can be tricky and there is a possibility that with enough attention and constant perusal you may feel drawn to him as well.
But remember if a married man is hitting on you, and you reciprocate, you are treading a dangerous path. You will unnecessarily complicate your life and end up being alone and devastated.
Understanding The Psychology Behind Flirting
You have to deal smartly with a married man hitting on you, or else he can trash your image.A married man flirting with a married woman also has it’s consequences.
How can you politely decline his advances and at the same time not cheese him off? For this, it is important to understand the reasons which might have prompted such behaviour.
Most married men flirt in order to bring back the thrill and excitement which they miss in their marriage as passion and romance often fade when responsibilities take over the couples’ lives.
Maybe they are bored with their routine, or perhaps going through some sort of mid-life crisis, or the sex life at home has become nonexistent. This is when they start looking out and try and find solace in flirting with other women. Some flirt just to see whether they still have the power to attract a woman.
Flirting is also a sign that a married man wants to sleep with you. But there might be a small percentage of married men who genuinely fall for another woman and try to develop a relationship with her by flirting.
Other reasons why a married man flirts could be:-
- Sometimes it is to appease their ego! To show their friends that they are still on top of the hunting game if the need comes up
- Some want to have a full-fledged affair, emotional physical, the works. They could be extremely happy with their marriage and family
- To some, it gives a sense of power
- Some are miserable in their marital lives and are truly looking for someone to connect with
- Some cheat to distract themselves from a difficult situation in their life like financial issues, loss of a loved one, etc.
- Some feel that wanting an attractive person is natural, hence flirting comes naturally
- Some people are simply extroverts and they are just friendly which is mistaken as flirting
Signs A Married Man Is Flirting With You
You give in and enjoy flirting with him as well. But more often than not from the stories we get, the married man hitting on you and getting a positive response may just back off while you take the flirting seriously and begin thinking of a future together. You feel you see the signs a married man wants you.
It is really difficult to know whether the married man flirting with you wants to be just friends, or is sincerely interested in starting a relationship with you. But you must know how to handle a married man flirting with you.
These are some signs a married man is flirting with you because he likes you.
How to tell if a married man likes you
- He keeps an eye on you whenever you are around him and pretends not to notice you when he gets caught
- His body always leans in your direction, which is a classic sign to show that he is interested in you
- The married man hitting on you tries to stay in touch with you, either through calls or text messages
- He keeps mentioning things you both have in common, just to build a connection with you
- This man will remember each and every detail you share with him, just to show that he is paying attention to you
- Giving compliments to you will be his habit
- He will always look for opportunities to hang out with you
- He will shower you with gifts
- Your love life will be his centre of attention. He will get jealous if you have someone in your life
- He makes it clear to you that he is not happy in his married life
- His behaviour will be very confusing for you. Sometimes he will be absolutely sweet, while sometimes he will play hard to get
- Over time his physical appearance and dressing style will change in order to impress you and match your likes and dislike
These are all tell-tale signs of male attraction and are are enough to tell you that a married man is flirting with you.
Related Reading: The married man I was dating is now dating other girls.
Thus be vigilant and take a wise decision when you are faced with such a situation where a married man is hitting on you.
How To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You
When you are dealing with a married man flirting with you, do not obsess over whether he is really flirting or being friendly with you. A married man flirting with a married woman will also mean that he is interested in a no-strings-attached fling maybe.
In order to handle a married man flirting with you the most important thing is to understand how you feel about him? Are you interested in him in case it develops into something substantial or do you just see the married man as a friend/colleague/acquaintance?
1. Reciprocate his feelings
Choosing the first option will bring serious challenges to your life because you will probably have to be the second woman in your life and even feel guilty about having an affair with a married man.
If his wife gets to know, she will bad mouth you and trash your reputation. Besids, you will be judged by your friends and family and may lose some good relationships too.
More importantly, you will be giving up your chance for a real relationship with a man who does not come with this baggage. And to be called a homewrecker is extremely defeating.
If a married man is flirting with a married woman, and she falls for him then they mess up both their lives. The mud slinging and heartache that would follow, would take away all your peace and you will feel the relationship is not worth it.
Related Reading: I wish I knew why my wife left me for another married man
2. Let your feelings pass away
The second option, to let the crush, love whatever you choose to call it, to pass is the better option. It may be tough in the short-term but if you are not already in a relationship you will get over him sooner than later.
He may seem really interested in you, even go to lengths to impress you, but if you are clear that you do not want to get involved with a married man, you will need to make sure that you do not let your feelings for him disturb your life.
Married men do not really intend to make you fall in love with them they just want to seduce you, perhaps have some fun, and go on with their married life too!
Related Reading: Confessions of a married woman in love with a younger man
Reciprocating the feelings of a married man flirting with you can have serious consequences that sometimes last a lifetime.
3. Be honest and straightforward about your intentions
Everyone loves attention, and it is okay to get carried away by his gestures and words. Your ego gets a boost and you feel great about yourself.
But despite all the pampering that you get from the married man, you have to express your stance and stop him from chasing you both for your good and his good too. You have to stop the married man from flirting with you.
He might be a gorgeous charmer but you have to know that getting into a relationship with him will land you in a sticky position. Make it clear to him that you are not really interested in a relationship with a married man.
Tell him that you are not available, you can lie that you are with someone to get him off your case. You will see him chasing another attractive woman in no time.
You could also tell him that you just got out of a bad relationship and cannot really think of entering into a new one at this point.
4. Focus your attention elsewhere
In order to stop a married man hitting on you, you can show your interest in someone else. You are probably looking and feeling your best, so why not focus your attention on someone who is available and comes without prior baggage?
That will help you spice up your life in a better way and stop a married man flirting with you. You can even try things people do when they have had a break-up. Like making more programs with friends for movies and outings, not staying alone in their free hours, and hitting the gym. You could also meet someone there!
Speak to yourself in the right language. Don’t tell yourself that this is beyond your control, tell yourself you deserve much better!
5. Look for his flaws
Anything that he may have said or done, that does not go well with you, focus on it. You love coffee and he likes tea? Focus.
You love dogs and he maintains a distance? Focus. Look for those things in him that you like and he dislikes, or he likes and you dislike.
A married man hitting on you would hate it if you keep telling him how different you are.
Think about it if he is in a committed relationship and flirting with you so much he is probably not such a nice guy right? And remember the one who cheats with you, will cheat on you?
6. Snap all contact
Cut off all communication ties with him so that he gets your signal loud and clear. Block him on your phone, the social channels, and try avoiding places where you might bump into him.
If by chance you do bump into him somewhere have some signals ready with your friends who can whisk you away from that place feigning some emergency.
Make it clear to him that you are avoiding him and he will get the message.
7. Resist the urge to respond
It takes two to tango! Avoid the temptation to respond to anything that he says – over e-mail, texts, or phone calls. If you have to, stick to impersonal behaviour and resist to give or share any personal information.
If you have to be in the same vicinity (if the two of you are colleagues) you could do something unpleasant like burp around him or even dig your nose.
Trust us, it will turn him off and you will be saved! The thing about crushes is most of the time they don’t last that long.
If you can resist the urge to respond then you are all set. You have avoided future misery too. Take responsibility for yourself and your part of this interaction. Do not reciprocate by flirting with him.
8. Mention his wife
If he would not stop, be cool and ask him about his wife, where does she work, how did they meet, etc. Ask him about his kids next time you catch yourself flirting. That should end things real quick.
It will send the message that you may even approach her. This is the best way to handle a married man flirting with you. You could also meet his wife casually without mentioning anything.
Sometimes seeing the rest of the dimensions of his life can put things in perspective. If you still find it hard to resist, keep a picture of him with his family in your top drawer.
Related Reading: A letter to my lover who cheated on me.
9. Do not seek validation
A lot of us seek validation from men, and when they turn out married, we feel we must be more desirable than his wife and that gives us a high.
Do not fall for this, it’s a trap and it is rarely a happy ending. Seek validation elsewhere, from your single men friends, your cousins your girlfriends. Maybe go and flirt with a stranger at a bar and let it be done with for that evening.
Initially, avoid letting his wife know about it because he might be either joking or might have unintentionally crossed the line. But if his behaviour persists, you can threaten him with the line that you will tell his wife.
10. Make the right choice
To be a happy woman you do not need a married man next to you. In fact, you can be single and happy than get into a complicated affair with a married man.
You might be thinking, “Why do I attract married men?” But let us tell you married men, who want to cheat and who are unhappy in their married life will hit on women, single or married, does not matter.
It is your choice if you will fall for a married man or not
Remember the only possible romantic future you have with a married man will be a dramatic and ultimately miserable one, for you, him, and his children.
Do yourself a favour and do not reciprocate flirting with a married man. A married man flirting with you can lead to unpleasant and is breaking the eternal promise of love and betraying his wife and family. Therefore, you must not become a partner in crime but preserve your dignity by taking a morally right decision.
When a married man flirts with you it means he is not really interested in a serious relationship. He finds you attractive, would like to spend time with you and if you are willing to get into a physical relationship with him he will be more than happy.
He is always hovering around you, wants to converse with you, sends you polite texts often and compliments you on the way you look or dress up. This could mean a married man is attracted to you.
He would look at your eyes but look away, will interact with you but keep it very polite. He will not text you first but will text back immediately. He wouldn’t talk too much about his wife in front of you.
You can tell he will never leave his wife when you see he is totally entrenched in his family, is involved with the kids, is a good son-in-law. He goes on family holidays and family events and always stalls talking about a future with you.
You could be in love with a married man but put a stone on your heart and just call it quits. This way you will suffer for a few months but you will avoid a lifetime of suffering.