A married man flirting with you could make a thousand questions cross your mind. Do I look available? Am I giving out the wrong signals? Does he think I am easy to impress? Why is a married man flirting with me? Does all the flirting mean that the married man likes me? Why do guys flirt when they are in a relationship?
Let us tell you, many men do tend to randomly flirt, and in fact, the flirting could well be totally harmless and they may have no intentions of taking things to the next level. So, then, why do married men flirt? If you are single and find a married man flirting at work or hitting on you at a party, there is a good chance it is his male ego prompting him to see if he gets attention from you. It has nothing to do with how you look, dress, or your body language. It’s all about how he thinks.
That said, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to questions like why do married men flirt or why would a married man flirt with a married woman. He could be flirting for a number of reasons. It could be harmless fun. Or he could be flirting because he is unhappy with his spouse or because it is in his nature to be sweet and pleasant or because he wants a sexual relationship with you. He might even be in a polyamorous set-up with his spouse and thus, sees no harm in flirting with you.
But if he’s in a monogamous relationship, then it’s a sign of trouble. When a married man flirts with you and gives you all the signals that you reject, he may still pursue you and even try and manipulate you, swearing that he has fallen for you and his feelings are real. These are signs a married man wants you romantically. In such a situation, you may want to know how to reject a married man without complicating your life.
Handling a married man flirting with you can be tricky and there is a possibility that with enough attention and constant pursuit, you may feel drawn to him as well. But remember, if a married man is hitting on you, and you reciprocate, you are treading a dangerous path. You will unnecessarily complicate your life and end up being alone and devastated. No good comes out of a relationship with a married man where you’re constantly playing second fiddle to his wife. So it’s best to nip his advances in the bud. How? Read on to become a pro at handling a married man flirting with you.
Why Do Married Men Flirt?
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“Why is a married man hitting on me?” “Does it mean the married man likes me?” If you’re constantly asking yourself such questions, allow us to help you. You have to deal smartly with a married man hitting on you, or else he can trash your image. A married man flirting with a married woman also has its consequences. How can you politely decline his advances and at the same time, not cheese him off? How to reject a married man? Before we get to this, it is important to first understand the reasons which might have prompted such behavior.
So, why do married men flirt? Most married men flirt in order to bring back the thrill and excitement that they probably miss in their marriage. As we know, passion and romance tend to fade sometimes when responsibilities take over a couple’s life. If you see the signs a married man is attracted to you, it could be because he is bored with his routine, is going through some sort of a mid-life crisis, or is stuck in a sexless marriage. This is when married men typically start looking for excitement and try to find solace in flirting with other women.
Sana remembers a married man, her senior by many years, making passes at her when she was interning at a digital marketing agency. “I remember mentioning to a friend at the time, “He flirts but mentions his wife. How to tell if a married man likes you? Why do married men flirt with women half their age? Ugh!” At the heart of all of these questions was one that left me riddled with anxiety: how should I respond if his overtures become more direct?
“As it turned out, his overtures did get more direct and he used the same “stuck in a dead marriage” sob story to win me over and almost succeed. Had it not been for the friend who chided me and knocked some sense into my head, I would have totally fallen for his charm,” says Sana.
However, not all married men flirt with the intent to start an extramarital affair. Some flirt just to see whether they still have the power to attract a woman. This is especially true if you find yourself in a “married man flirts, then ignores me” situation. The flirting could, of course, be a sign that a married man wants to sleep with you. Then there might be a small percentage of married men who genuinely fall for another woman and try to develop a relationship with her by flirting. The reasons why a married man flirts can be summed up as:
- For his ego: Why do married men flirt? The simplest explanation for this seemingly confusing phenomenon is his ego. By flirting with you, he is trying to massage his ego and show his friends that he’s got it
- Looking for a connection: He may want to have a full-fledged affair – emotional, physical, and more. Perhaps, he is genuinely unhappy in his marriage, feels trapped, and is looking for a connection outside to fill the void. If that’s the case, the flirting will be accompanied by other signs a married man has a crush on you
- Power play: The flirting could also be a way for him to feel a sense of power. Perhaps, the power dynamics in his relationship are skewed and he is trying to feel better about himself by exercising power and control over you. This could be the intent behind his flirting if you can relate to the “married man likes me but avoids me” feeling. He is blowing hot and cold in an attempt to exercise control over your feelings and emotions
- He is polyamorous: He might be polyamorous, in which case there’s nothing wrong in him wanting to be with you. The question is, are you? If not, then this could be an equation too complicated for you to navigate. Think long and hard before you get swept away by the signs a married man is attracted to you
- A distraction: He might be flirting with you to blow off some steam or could be using it as a stepping stone to a full-blown affair to distract himself from a difficult situation in his life like financial issues, loss of a loved one, etc.
- He is a natural flirt: Some (wrongfully) feel that wanting an attractive person is natural, which is why flirting comes naturally to them
- He may not be flirting at all: He could be an extrovert who is just being friendly but it is mistaken as flirting. While you are rolling your eyes on the sly and wondering why do guys flirt when they are in a relationship, he may be totally unaware of the fact that his friendliness is coming across as flirting.
A deep desire to feel wanted and loved could be another reason behind a married man flirting with you. It might sound weird but, besides the thrill of the chase, some married men flirt because they know it’s risky. They know what they are doing is wrong and that their actions could have major consequences. But they still go ahead and do it because they want to break the rules, as that is what excites and arouses them.
Related Reading: What To Do If You Are In Love With A Married Man
Signs A Married Man Is Flirting With You
The moment a married man shows interest in you, the following may happen: at first, you try to avoid him, but he is persistent. He is pleasant and sweet, so you engage in some harmless flirting, or so it seems. Eventually, you think that you can see the signs a married man wants you and you give in. You enjoy flirting with him as well. But the married man hitting on you may just back off if you take the flirting seriously, leaving you wondering, “Married man flirts, then ignores me. What is going on in his mind?”
“So, how do I know if a married man likes me?” “Is that married man hitting on me?” “Why would a married man flirt with a married woman?” “What are the signs of a married man flirting with me?” Allow us to put these thoughts to rest. It is really difficult to know whether the married man flirting with you wants to be just friends or is sincerely interested in starting a relationship with you. Before you learn how to handle a married man flirting with you, you must be able to spot the signs he’s into you. This is why we’re here, to tell you all about the signs a married man likes you and is, therefore, flirting with you.
- He keeps an eye on you when you are around him but pretends to not notice when caught
- His body always leans in your direction
- The married man hitting on you tries to stay in touch through calls or text messages
- He keeps mentioning things you both have in common to build a connection with you
- He remembers every detail you share with him to show that he is paying attention to you
- Showering you with compliments and gifts has become a habit
- He always looks for opportunities to hang out with you
- Your love life will catch his attention. He gets jealous seeing you with someone else
- He makes it clear to you that he is not happy in his married life
- He acts sweet at times, while sometimes he plays hard to get
- His physical appearance and dressing style change to match your likes and dislikes
We hope this answers your “how to tell if a married man likes you” dilemma. These are all tell-tale signs of male attraction and are enough to tell you that a married man is flirting with you. There is no need to freak out, thinking, “I can relate to all of the signs of a married man hitting on me. Should I ignore him and stop talking to him so that he gets that I’m not interested?” In all likelihood, you may not need to take such drastic steps for handling his overtures. Just be vigilant and make a wise decision when you are faced with such a situation. We’re here to help you with that.
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How To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You
You’ve been wondering, “Why is a married man flirting with me?” and “How should I deal if a married man likes me?” Allow us to help. When you are dealing with a married man flirting with you, do not obsess over whether he is really flirting or being friendly with you. A married man flirting with a married woman could also mean that he is interested in a no-strings-attached relationship.
“How to reject a married man?” “How do I handle a married man flirting at work?” Don’t worry. There are ways to deal with this situation. To handle a married man flirting with you, the most important thing is to understand how you feel about him. Are you interested in him in case it develops into something substantial or do you see him as a friend, colleague, or acquaintance? Based on your answer, here are some ways to handle the situation when you see the signs a married man is attracted to you and is flirting with you to get your attention:
Related Reading: A Beautiful Love Story: She Is A Widow In Love With A Married Man
1. Reciprocate his feelings
Choosing this option will bring serious challenges to your life because you’d be the other woman in his life and feel guilty about having an affair with a married man. If his wife gets to know, she will badmouth you and trash your reputation. Besides, you will be judged by your friends and family and may lose a few valuable relationships too. More importantly, you might be giving up on your chance at a real relationship with another man who does not come with this baggage. Not to forget, to be called a homewrecker is extremely defeating.
If a married man is flirting with a married woman, and she falls for him, then they mess up both their lives. The mud-slinging and heartache that might follow, will take away all your peace leaving you feeling that the relationship is not worth the drama and humiliation. Besides, there’s no guarantee that the married man will support you through this. So, only choose this option if you know for sure there’s a future with him, or if he’s polyamorous (and his wife knows about it) and you are too.
2. Let your feelings pass
The second option is to let the crush or love, whatever you choose to call it, pass. Yes, it can be easier said than done when you can clearly see the signs a married man has a crush on you and feel the same way about him. Even so, it is a much wiser option than getting involved with a married man. It may be tough in the short term, but you will be able to get over the married man sooner than later.
He may seem really interested in you. He may even go to great lengths to impress you, but if you are clear that you do not want to get involved with a married man, you will need to make sure that you do not let your feelings for him disturb your life or affect you in any way.
Married men usually do not really intend to make you fall in love with them, they just want to seduce you, perhaps have some fun, and go on with their married life too! Reciprocating the feelings of a married man flirting with you can have serious consequences that sometimes last a lifetime.
3. Be honest and straightforward about your intentions
How to reject a married man? Everyone loves attention, and it’s okay to get carried away by his gestures and words. Your ego gets a boost and you feel great about yourself. But despite all the pampering that you get from the married man, you have to express your stance and stop him from chasing you, both for your good and his.
He might be a gorgeous charmer but you have to know that getting into a relationship with him will land you in a sticky position. Make it clear to him that you are not really interested in having an affair with a married man. How do I handle a married man hitting on me even after you clarify your intent, you may ask. Well, you have to stop him from flirting with you by employing a few tactics.
Tell him that you are not available, you can lie that you are with someone to get him off your case. You will see him chasing another attractive woman in no time. You could also tell him that you just got out of a bad relationship and cannot really think of entering into a new one at this point. It’s infuriating and unfortunate, the hoops we have to jump through in order to safeguard ourselves from an aggressive or bothersome reaction from a man who can’t handle a ‘no’.
4. Focus your attention elsewhere
To stop a married man from hitting on you, you can show your interest in someone else. Healthy flirting is a great idea and good for the soul. You are probably looking and feeling your best, so why not focus your attention on someone who is available and comes without prior baggage? That will help you spice up your life in a better way and also stop the married man flirting with you.
You can even try things people do when they have had a breakup. Like catching up with friends for movies and outings, not staying alone in your free hours, hitting the gym, traveling, or practicing a hobby. Who knows, you might meet someone new! Speak to yourself in the right language. Don’t tell yourself that this is beyond your control, tell yourself that you deserve much better.
Related Reading: How To Seduce A Woman With Words?
5. Look for his flaws
Still struggling with the “how do I handle a married man hitting on me” or “what do I do if a married man is falling in love with me” dilemma? Looking for flaws in him is one way. Anything that he may have said or done that does not go well with you, focus on it. Do you align with one political party, and he with the other? Focus. You love animals, and he can’t stand them? Focus. Look for those things in him that you like and he dislikes, or he likes and you dislike.
A married man hitting on you would hate it if you keep telling him how different you are. Think about it. If he is in a committed relationship and flirting with you so much, he is probably not such a nice guy, right? And remember, the one who cheats on his spouse with you, can cheat on you too. Isn’t that a big enough flaw?
6. Snap all contact
This is one of the best and most effective ways to deal with a married man flirting with you. Cut off all communication with him so that he gets your signal loud and clear. Block him on your phone, social media channels, and try avoiding places where you might bump into him.
If you do bump into him somewhere, have a few signals ready with your friends who can whisk you away from that place feigning some emergency. Make it clear to him that you are ignoring him and that you do not want to get involved with a married man. Snapping contact is a great way to let a married man know that you’re not interested in him.
When you do this, he may respond by throwing a few mind games of his own into the mix. For instance, he may go completely incommunicado, leaving you wondering where has he vanished or how could he get over you so easily or were you reading the signs a married man is attracted to you all wrong. When this happens, don’t let the why and how of “married man likes me but avoids me” consume you. Remind yourself: good riddance to bad rubbish.
7. Resist the urge to respond
How do you handle a married man flirting at work? Well, it takes two to tango. Avoid the temptation to respond to anything that he says – over email, texts, or phone calls. If you have to, stick to a formal, impersonal behavior and resist giving or sharing any personal information. If he responds to the cold shoulder you’re giving him by acting like you don’t even exist, don’t let it bother you. He could well be doing this to get in your head and make you overthink “married man flirts, then ignores me”.
Stick to your distant, disinterested approach if cutting him out is not an option. Trust us, it will turn him off and you will be saved. The thing about crushes is that most of the time, they don’t last that long. If you can resist the urge to respond, then you are all set. You have avoided future misery too. Take responsibility for yourself and the part you play in this interaction. Do not reciprocate by flirting with him.
8. Mention his wife
Another way to handle a married man flirting with you is to keep mentioning his wife in your conversation with him. If he does not stop, be cool and ask him about his wife, where she works, how they met, etc. Initially, avoid letting his wife know about it because he might be either joking or might have unintentionally crossed the line. But if his behavior persists, you can threaten him by saying that you will tell his wife.
It will send the message that you will not hesitate to approach his wife if he doesn’t mend his ways. This is the best way to deal with a married man flirting with you. You could also meet his wife casually without mentioning anything. When he gets to know about this, it might put things in perspective for him. If you still find it hard to resist, keep a picture of him with his family in your top drawer.
Related Reading: Questions To Ask Yourself When You Are Falling For A Married Man
9. Do not seek validation
A lot of us seek validation from men, and when they turn out to be married, we feel we must be more desirable than his wife and that gives us a high. Do not fall for this! It’s a trap and it rarely has a happy ending. Maybe go and flirt with a stranger at a bar to create an outlet for your feelings. Seek validation elsewhere, from your single male friends, your cousins, your girlfriends, and most importantly, from yourself.
To be honest, you don’t need validation from anyone for anything that you do, or the choices that you make, or for who you are. And definitely not from a married man who would happily comply just so he gets to flirt or have sex with you.
10. Make the right choice
To be a happy woman, you do not need a man next to you. In fact, you can be happier when you’re single than when you get into a complicated affair with a married man. You might be thinking, “Why do I attract married men?” But let us tell you this: Married men, who want to cheat because they are unhappy with their spouse, will hit on women. Whether you’re single or married, it does not matter.
It is your choice whether to get involved with a married man or not. Remember, the only possible romantic future you have with a married man will be a dramatic and miserable one. There are several reasons that you should never have an affair with a married man. It will cause hurt, not just to you, but also to him, his wife, and his children.
Do yourself a favor and do not reciprocate a married man’s advances. A married man flirting with you can lead to unpleasant consequences. You play an equal role in breaking the eternal promise of love and betraying his wife and family. Therefore, you must not become a partner in crime but preserve your dignity by taking the morally right decision.
When a married man flirts with you, it means he is probably not interested in a serious relationship. He finds you attractive and would like to spend time with you, and if you are willing to get into a physical relationship with him, he will be more than happy to oblige.
He is always hovering around you, wants to converse with you, often sends you polite texts, and compliments you for the way you look or dress up. He will want to spend more time with you, choose to dress according to your preferences and get jealous upon seeing you with someone else. All of this could mean a married man is attracted to you.
He will keep trying to look at you but looks away when you catch his eye. He likes interacting with you but keeps it very polite. He will not text you first but will text back immediately. He wouldn’t talk too much about his wife in front of you. He might also make it clear that he is not happy with his married life.
You can tell he will never leave his wife when you see he is totally entrenched in his family, involved with the kids, and a good son-in-law. He goes on family holidays and family events and always stalls talking about a future with you.
You could be in love with a married man but put a stone in your heart and just call it quits. This way, you might suffer for a short period of time but will avoid a lifetime of suffering and drama. Make it clear to him that you are not interested in dating a married man, and block him from everywhere if he persists.