The ‘morning person vs night owl’ debate has been at the center of all couple’s arguments and will continue to be that way so long as we are bombarded with information regarding what the ‘right time’ to go to sleep is. While early-risers are associated with a go-getter attitude, night owls are most of the time perceived to be lazy. These perceptions attached to being an early bird or night owl are now getting old.
Some people seem to be hardwired to wake up early or go to sleep late, and this was proved by a study done in 2020, which explains that our ‘internal clock’, known as the circadian rhythm, controls our body’s patterns and functions. This internal timekeeper most evidently controls our sleep patterns, as well as hunger and mood patterns.
When An Early Bird And Night Owl Sleep Together
I have taken to adding on to whatever wish I inscribe on my gifts when I go to weddings, the phrase, ‘and wishing you sleep patterns that actually align!’
But by the time people unwrap those gifts and receive my well-intentioned but rather useless wish, it is usually too late. What do you do if you are Ms Night Owl and you are dating Mr Morning Lark, or the other way round?
Well, I guess you could try adjusting to the other’s routine and try living with a night owl or a super-enthusiastic morning person. The only trouble with this approach is that the owl is naturally predisposed to be nocturnal and isn’t half as much fun and twice as blind in the morning. The reverse probably goes for the lark.
It is usually better to leave creatures as nature intended them to be. Not to mention those sharp claws when you mess with them. Neither a morning nor a night person will be willing to change their ways and will in fact get defensive. What, then, can you do?
Related Reading: How sleeping in separate bedrooms made them a better couple
Morning Person Vs Night Person: How To Cope With Sleep Differences
Does the early morning chit-chat and motivation get to your nerves when all you want is to hit snooze over and over again? Or is it the other way round and you get frustrated with your partner keeping the lights on till late in the night and making too much noise that disturbs your REM cycle?
Whatever your problem may be, there are ways you can deal with the morning people vs night people fight. Just keep in mind that you aren’t rivals, rather partners, so be civil and try to maintain cordiality because it’s these differences that spice up a relationship.
Here’s how you can cope with your differences
A lot has been spoken about this debate, let’s get to the point. Well, here are a few tips for starters:
- Learn to be quick and slick: Invest in a pair of rubber-soled slippers and turn the flashlight on your phone way down. Learn the fine art of creeping around and doing everything quietly, ninja-style and in the dark
- Go crazy experimenting: Use this as a fabulous excuse to invest in cool technology, clip-on reading lights, Bluetooth earpieces, and other stuff guilt-free. Even feel a little saintly, because you’re doing it for such a good cause
- Invest in eye masks and ear muffs: Because who are we kidding, neither a morning person nor night owl, for all their many redeeming qualities, are known for their slickness and stealth
- Don’t compromise on cuddles: Try to catch some late-evening or early-morning cuddle time, whichever reduces the risk of sundry eyes being clawed out. Taking out the time to bond and connect is imperative because there are many ways lack of affection affects relationships
- Enjoy ‘me time’: Don’t just adjust, but enjoy those hours that you get to spend by yourself, while your other half is snoring. I promise you, time will fly by much quickly
- Make time for friends alike: What if you absolutely have the need to chatter? Well, so what if the people in the rest of your house are asleep, there are billions of other people in the world who aren’t – after all, what are time zones for anyway
- Remember you still love them: Keep your perspective and focus on everything else you have in common. After all, even though you may be an early bird or night owl, at the end of the day (or at the crack of dawn if you are so inclined), you’re both still birds and birds that love each other. And that should count for something
Here’s what you shouldn’t do
Now that we’ve been over all the things you can do that will ensure a long and happy relationship, there are some things you must keep in mind that you absolutely should not do:
- Don’t disrespect their choices: If you have any plans early in the morning or late at night, don’t forget to inform your significant other in advance so they can prepare accordingly. Just because they don’t prefer to live your lifestyle doesn’t mean they can’t partake in it occasionally
- Don’t mix arguments: The morning person vs night person debate will continue for as long as you’re together but stop using this as an argument when you’re discussing other aspects of the relationship. For example if you’re having a fight about how they don’t clean up after themselves, don’t bring up the fact that they always stay up all night and wake up at noon like it’s another one of their bad habits
- Stop being unsupportive all the time: Instead of arguing, sometimes it’s okay to let the other person be as they are. If they can’t stay up and watch couple’s movies with you, let them snooze on your shoulder. If they can’t wake up before noon, bring them coffee at 12:00 and serve it with lunch. You may not agree with their style of living, but you do love this person, and the least you can do is support them from time to time
Related Reading: How Our Differences Make Our Marriage A Success
Relationships are all about adjusting, and honestly speaking, this is going to be the least of your problems as a couple in the long run. No doubt the morning person vs night owl debate is infuriating, but before getting into the argument one more time, ask yourself if it is even worth it.
Everyone has been wired differently and so they feel most productive at different times. Some people flourish after midnight, while some can get most work done early in the morning.
It means you find it easier to stay up late at night rather than wake up early and get things done. You’re not the only one who finds it difficult to wake up fresh in the mornings, there’s a large percentage of the population that faces the same problem.
There’s an equal distribution. If you struggle to either stay up or wake early, just know that there are many people out there who probably have it worse than you. Being too much of an extreme can never be good.