Falling in love is one thing and making that love last forever is another thing. We all want a love that will last, but how? Apart from wondering how to make money, this is the other question that’s asked again and again without any perfect answer. You see, falling in love is one part but making that precious love last, now that’s where the real work begins and don’t let them tell you any differently – it is work. The best kind of work maybe, but it’s real work and there’s no getting around it.
A friend of mine went through a heartbreak after a prolonged courtship. Then she met her now husband. She was unsure, broken, insecure. “Little by little with his gestures and understanding he made me see what love really is. Then when he proposed and we married I vowed that I would make this relationship last forever. It’s been hard work, there have been ups and downs but it’s 25 years now and I am sure I now know how to make a relationship last a lifetime,” she said.
How To Make Love Last Forever
It is said when it comes to love “forever” is an illusion. But if you ask couples who have been happily together for ages they would say that love transforms from the euphoric to the mundane with the passage of time but if you keep working on it you can make a relationship last forever.
So how to make love last forever? If you follow these 15 tips then you your relationship will always be enveloped in love.
1.Build trust in a relationship
Trust in a relationship is a process. We tend to burn ourselves and most people at the stake when doubt creeps in, but we must remember that doubt is only a form of fear, and fear is an instinct that’s supposed to warn us and protect us. We must heed and respect the warning and not let it drive the relationship.
Trusting someone takes time and vulnerability, but in love, that’s the only way to go forward. If you want your love to last forever then you have to have trust for each other and never let an iota of doubt creep in.
Related Reading: 6 things a man does to show his love
2. Physical intimacy is sacred
Physical intimacy is a very important, almost sacred part of most romantic relationships. Unless you are asexual, in which case skip this point and move to the next one (No judgement, everyone’s welcome to love.) Belly to belly compatibility, as I like to call it, can sometimes take time and is something worth investing in.
Having great sex is a way of communication in a relationship, no matter what age the people are. It keeps the relationship alive. You need to keep working on physical intimacy to make a relationship last forever.
3. Nurture respect to make your love last forever
This is a cornerstone of long-lasting love. Without respect, there’s no integrity in the relationship. You may not agree with each other’s politics, morals, ideas, but if you don’t respect them, there’s no balance in that relationship and it becomes a vacant dead thing. Respecting someone you love means treating them in a way that makes them feel good about themselves, that means validating their choices.
Constant criticism, even if you think it is for their own good, can have a negative impact. Your words, your actions, everything about your way of engaging with your love has to be layered with respect.
Related Reading: 20 Ways To Make Your Husband Fall In Love With You Again
4. Honesty is the driving force
Believe it or not, you don’t have to be honest all the time in a relationship. It’s about knowing when to lie. I’m talking about white lies, of course. When you know your partner is not looking great but you tell them they’re killing it, you win. You might not be honest or telling the truth, but that’s okay as long as it’s not harmful.
White lies make the world of love go around and they’re important for every relationship. White lies are fine. Every couple uses those but if you want your love to last forever make sure that you are never dishonest in a harmful way. That is terrible for a relationship.
5. Have shared goals
The idea of falling in love for procreation is so last season that we don’t even want to talk about it. Yes, people keep procreating, but that cannot be the main reason behind love any more. What’s the main reason then? Shared goals. People want to build empires together. Whether that’s a business, an ideology, or anything else. For couples today, the big fat Indian family isn’t a goal.
Getting that apartment in the high-rise, getting to the corner office, having it all is a goal and they tend to support each other through these goals. These shared goals are what carries a lot of people through the ups and downs of love.
6. Value system is important to make your love last forever
In order to build empires, have that common goal, most people require a value system that is similar if not shared. You see, it’s not about loving someone who has great values; if you have values which are ‘lower or higher’ than them in your perception, the relationship is going to be out of balance. However, if you and your boo have a value system that matches, then you’re in that sweet spot where you don’t have to worry or guess whether they will approve of you at the level of value or not.
This is what makes great partners, in love and otherwise. If you both wouldn’t mind moving around the cash to evade taxes, or if you both would fire the employee immediately for using misogynistic language in the office, it doesn’t matter whether your shared values are sketchy for others or not. They have to be a shared parameter for you two.
Related reading: Which Bollywood Romantic Comedy Represents Your Love Story?
7. Give space to each
Making time for yourself, a healthy break every day or every month, away from each other is important to keep that love growing. Not only does distance make the heart grow fonder, it allows you to clean and rearrange your own mental closet so that you don’t have any repressed emotions that come up and surprise you out of the blue.
Space is not a bad thing in a relationship, it is a must actually. If you want your love to last forever give each other space.
8. Let each other grow
A romantic relationship is between two people, and while that is important, it isn’t all that a person is. If the relationship becomes the defining factor in someone’s life, it will consume the rest of the space and eventually start suffocating the person. Who you are apart from being in love is equally important, therefore. It is what allows you to love the other person as a separate autonomous entity.
Losing your identity in love might sound romantic when Arijit Singh sings it, but in reality, it harms more than it helps. If you want to make love last forever then you will have to help each other grow as individuals and that is the only way you will thrive together.
9. Understand each other’s needs
Your mate’s need could be as simple as a cup of coffee in the morning made by you. Serve them that with a cheerful face. This happiness that you find when you do something for someone is a big thing.
Your need could be to meet your guy gang once a week. If she ensures that you can do it and never has any qualms about you walking in a bit late and a bit tipsy every Friday night, then it’s a wonderful feeling to know your life partner understands what makes you happy.
10. Saying “Thank You” and “Sorry” easily
There are people who think that when it’s between two partners saying “thank you” is too formal. Not really. Saying a simple thank you can make a relationship last a lifetime. When you start saying “thank you” you know how these two words have the capacity to make your relationship better.
In the same way apologising to your partner should come to you spontaneously. You should never think twice before saying sorry.
11. Be forgiving
People who have been able to make their love last forever will tell you the greatest quality of two partners is the ability and willingness to forgive.
People are meant to make mistakes but holding on to those and bringing it up in every fight is a bad idea. This would only corrode your relationship. It is because of the capacity to forgive that some couples can build trust after cheating and survive an affair even.
Related Reading: 13 Ways To Make Him Realise Your Worth
12. Talking about the past
You will see much in love couples are always happy to talk about their love story. How they met, when they decided to marry and all the small details. They would regale their children and even grandchildren with these happy anecdotes of love and friendship.
If you want to make a relationship last forever talk about the small things in your relationship that make you tick, that make the love blossom even after years of marriage.
13. Kissing often
This does not need any effort but this is just an act of intimacy that shows how much you care for each other. Kissing your partner as you leave home and kissing when you meet again after work are things that keep a relationship going.
A great way to make love last forever in your relationship is steal kisses when you are watching a romantic film or scene. This has nothing to do with your age, it just shows how you feel about each other.
14. Have your own private jokes
If both partners have a sense of humour it makes a relationship last longer. And it’s the private jokes, the leg pulling and the fun they have with each other that makes a relationship a success.
Ask any couple who have been together for long, about their private jokes, and they would come up with a bag full of them. Also some couple have the funniest nick names for each other which keeps changing with the times but these cute names have something in them to make a relationship last forever.
15. Be ready for an adventure
When you are in it for a long haul the relationship often gets boring. So to keep the zing alive you should have some adventures often, both small and big.
You heard about a new cosy restaurant at the other end of town and you are ready to take the train and the bus to reach that place. It’s the mini adventure of finding that place with your partner that you just love. Then how about trying out snorkelling and even scuba diving together on a holiday? Or you could plan all your life for that hot-air balloon adventure. Sometimes talking about the things you want to do together can make your relationship work
How do you make love last? There is no hard and fast answer to that. But you can make your love last forever if you follow some simple rules of love.