What is the secret ingredient to the recipe for achieving balance in a relationship? When Mr. Miyagi advised, “Whole life have a balance. Everything be better,” to Daniel-San (The Karate Kid, 1984), the context wasn’t balanced relationship or romance. But more than three decades later, the words couldn’t be more relevant to modern love.
One of the hardest parts of a relationship is figuring out how to keep it balanced. Developing a balanced relationship requires a lot of communication and understanding between the couple. It is built upon the right amount of wanting to please each other and being true to yourself. This might sound simple enough, but life has a way of challenging you at every turn. As your relationship grows, both of you are forced to change and get out of your comfort zones.
At this point, it becomes more difficult to maintain balance in a relationship. More often than not, one of you is left feeling like you’re the only one trying in the relationship. How can you get past or avoid this eventuality? For that, it’s important to understand the psychology behind balanced relationships. Maybe then, with the right efforts and appropriate compromises, you can start building a sense of balance in your relationship.
What Does A Balanced Relationship Look Like?
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A balanced relationship is one where you put in the work to make it grow and commit to respect each other’s goals. It’s a connection where you’re both honest and supportive of each other. Being in a balanced love relationship allows you to be yourself without judgment from your partner. This, in turn, allows you both to grow individually and as a team.
The truth is, all we ever want is to feel grounded and secure in our relationships. We want to be loved for who we are, not for what we do. We want to be loved for our quirks, not just for our strengths. We want to be loved for our imperfections, not for our perfection. But only a few of us are ready to work toward building a relationship like that.
When your relationship starts affecting every other aspect of your life, it’s time for a reality check. The key is to find a balance where you don’t feel like you’re the only one trying in the relationship and also not completely detached from it. You will know you are in a balanced relationship when you develop mutual respect for each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. Soon enough, you and your partner will start sharing equal levels of trust, intimacy, and safety.
Why Is It Important To Have A Balanced Relationship?
When there is balance in a relationship, each partner contributes in ways that satisfy both people involved. And there is no sense of being a martyr or a victim. If you’re always the giver and never receive the care or affection you are due, eventually, you will become resentful of your partner for never taking accountability. On the other hand, if you are a taker who is constantly expecting more than you give, you might come across as selfish.
In a healthy relationship, you don’t feel like you’re the only one doing the work. A team member has got your back and is putting in equal effort in sustaining the relationship. In addition to feeling supported, here are some more reasons why relationship balance is so important:
- You don’t lose your individuality/uniqueness
- You compromise but you don’t sacrifice your core values
- Both the sides are respected in case of a conflict
- Relationship balance leads to empathy/emotional intimacy
- You are able to give adequate time to work/friends
- You learn to take hold space for each other
- You feel appreciated/valued (instead of feeling that you’re taken for granted)
9 Tips To Create A Balanced Relationship With Your SO
Sometimes, one partner feels significantly more committed to the relationship than the other. It is important to keep the relationship balanced so both partners feel satisfied and secure in their feelings for each other. Here are 9 tips to help you create a balanced relationship with your SO.
1) Be friends as well as lovers
Looking into each other’s eyes, sharing intimate moments…romantic relationships are so exciting, aren’t they? But this excitement will eventually fade. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The excitement of romance will be replaced by a stronger, calmer sense of affection. Sharing a deep friendship with your partner is key to making this post-lovey-dovey phase fun and happy. Friendship also helps to build trust, which is vital for any healthy relationship.
So, friendship is a precondition for healthy balance in a relationship or marriage. In fact, research says that greater level of marital satisfaction has been observed in people who are best friends with their partner. Couples who are friends genuinely look forward to spending time with each other. They even enjoy getting out of their comfort zones, through interesting adventures and activities. This is how they maintain balance in a relationship.
Related Reading: 15 Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship
2) Respect each other’s personal space
The idea of a couple cohabitating is so deeply ingrained in our society that it’s considered the only way to have a successful relationship. When people get into relationships, they usually feel like they need to be with their partners all the time. They want to know what their partner is doing all day, who they are with and how they spend their time. However, most couples don’t realize that this closeness can lead to serious conflicts and even cause damage to their relationship.
Then, how can you maintain balance in a relationship? Make sure you both have separate hobbies, interests, and friends. If you are not aware of what your partner does when they are apart from you, then it is possible that you do not value them as an individual. A healthy space between the couple is one of the most significant examples of balance in a relationship.
3) Manage work-life balance
Many couples struggle to find a balance between work and personal life. Every day, we are bombarded with emails, social media, and texts that pull us away from our partners. You can maintain a healthy relationship even if you’re both very busy, as long as you are understanding of each other’s needs dedicated to keeping your lines of communication open. There are certain things that you can do to help your relationship thrive while staying busy with work.
Be aware of how much time you and your partner spend on work. Make sure that both of you enjoy enough time on the personal and relationship front. If you do not get enough time off work, then you may withdraw emotionally from the relationship as a means of self-preservation. Look for ways in which you can help each other achieve a healthy work-life balance.
4) Have a holistic approach toward life
If you want to have a balanced relationship, it is important to balance your life between your partner and everything else. You cannot be obsessed with them 24/7 or else you risk losing yourself entirely.
Some couples get obsessed with their relationships and overlook other aspects of their life. While this may seem romantic at first, it will eventually hurt your individual lives as well as the relationship. Over adoration never leads to a balanced relationship. It is important to keep your individuality intact.
Related Reading: How To Balance Independence In A Relationship?
5) Be genuinely interested in your partner
The primary reason people get into a relationship is for companionship. However, all too often people fail to focus on that very same aspect. They fall into a routine with their partner and stop making an effort to really get to know them. This is when things start to go wrong.
How can you balance give and take in a relationship? Always make it your goal to be interested in the person your partner is growing into. It’s important you look at them as not just your partner, but also as an individual personality with unique features and flaws. Keep exploring this side of your partner every day. It will help you understand them better and create a bond that will last forever.
6) Be clear about your priorities
Always balance between your time together and time apart as a couple. In a relationship, you need to set priorities for what’s important outside the relationship as well. It is great to have fun and enjoy the quality time you spend together. However, this shouldn’t come at the cost of neglecting your career, family, or friends. The trick is to find a balance between all these things so that you can be happy and successful without hurting anyone in the process.
How can you balance give and take in a relationship? Make a list of things and people in your life – other than your partner – that make you feel supported. Be sure to include spending time with your friends and family, hobbies, and self-growth. Prioritizing your relationship is important, but losing sight of other priorities in life is a mistake. The couple’s ability to respect each other’s individual priorities is a sign of a balanced love relationship.
Related Reading: 10 Biggest Priorities In A Relationship
7) Do sets of 1-on-1 time
My parents have an interesting couple rule when it comes to finding balance in a relationship. They create a list of 20 things that make each of them feel loved. They spread these 20 things out over any 20 days of a year. On each day, they both sit down in our backyard and discuss one thing. (I’m sorry – this isn’t too clear; is it an activity that they do together and then at the end of the day, they discuss how it went? A little clarity please) On the final day, they focus on creating new memories together and finding 20 other things for the next year.
You are not the same person you were yesterday. And neither is your partner. So it is important to have heart-to-heart conversations where you can check in on how the relationship feels. This can be helpful when something has changed or when a situation arises where you are not satisfied with how things are going. My parents have been happily married for the last 27 years. These 1-on-1 sets might just be the secret to maintain balance in a relationship.
8) Be open to your SO’s views
There is a difference between being open to someone’s perspective and agreeing with everything they say. In a relationship, being open to each other’s perspectives means both of you are willing to listen without feeling that you have to agree.
If your partner says or does something objectionable, you can be open to their perspective and still tell them why you think they are wrong. This demonstrates that you are willing to listen, but also lets them know that it does not mean that you agree with what they have done. The psychology behind balanced relationships is fundamentally based on this free-flowing exchange of perspectives.
Related Reading: What Does ‘Holding Space For Someone’ Mean And How To Do It?
9) Set a time limit to resolving arguments
If left unchecked, the smallest of arguments can hijack a relationship. An efficient trick for balancing time in a relationship is by keeping your arguments short. Make it a rule that if neither of you feels ready to end an argument in 10 minutes, then you have to stop arguing until you’re ready. If one or both of you feels like fighting again later, then set another time limit for ending the argument, but don’t go back and forth between arguing and stopping too many times.
By setting a time limit on how long you argue and stopping before these fights drag out, you’ll keep your issues from taking over your whole relationship. In turn, this will help keep the fun and romance alive between the two of you. Hopefully, all these tips we’ve shared with you above will help you create a healthier, stronger relationship with your soulmate.
- Finding balance in a relationship is all about giving as much as you are receiving
- Time together and apart, both are important; you must have a life outside your relationship
- You will start feeling off balance in a relationship if you stop showing keen interest in the person your partner is growing into
- Balancing time in a relationship also means not letting fights drag out for too long
- When striving towards a relationship balance, you must be open enough to consider perspectives that don’t agree with you
Cultivating a balanced relationship is absolutely vital to staying happy and well. So if you need more examples of balance in a relationship or believe your relationship to be imbalanced, then reach out to our panel of relationship experts. With some effort from your side and a lot of experience from our experts, your relationship will be back on track in no time!
Having balance in a relationship is important because one-sided relationships can get draining and exhausting. Trust, respect, loyalty and honesty can only be achieved by healthy relationship balance. Maintaining balance in a relationship leads to an equal partnership, wherein two individuals work as a team. An unbalanced relationship can easily turn into a toxic one.
Some signs of feeling off balance in a relationship in include lack of communication and no respect for each other’s privacy. On the other hand, maintaining balance in a relationship is all about giving each other space and respecting each other’s decisions. Having balance in a relationship means you let your partner be their own independent person.