For some, love is about making sacrifices and prioritizing the other to watch them stay happy. For others, love is a mere journey that is shared together without any expectations. A few think that the dizzying work of pheromones and physical attraction is what determines love. But the quality time love language stands apart from all these meanings, as it celebrates love through togetherness.
No one has arrived at an inch-perfect definition of love. From poetry to films to waving across the classroom to the boy you had a crush on in the sixth grade, love has shapes and forms that can hardly be defined. Moreover, they’re different for everyone. But thanks to the work of Dr. Gary Chapman, love and our expressions of it can be categorized to an extent.
What Is Quality Time Love Language?
Dr. Gary Chapman is an author and counselor who devised five broad love languages that people gravitate toward and respond to. Our love language determines how we actually perceive love, what we do to cherish it, and how we give and receive it.
Sometimes, when there is a mismatch of expectations in your relationship or an argument breaks out because your husband didn’t get you anything for your anniversary this year, it’s possible that your love languages may be different. It may be all about tangible ways of showing love to one another or a different way of communicating your affections.
Quality time love language is one of the five love languages in which people mostly tend to appreciate or give love. It means that a person values spending time with you and getting to know you more than anything else. So, if your husband forgot to bring you a gift, don’t bash him for it. The reason could very well be that he values quality time love language over the receiving gifts love language. Perhaps, he thought that you two spending a romantic evening together would be a far better use of time than buying you a present.
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Signs Your Love Language Is Quality Time
Simply put, quality time love language is when partners enjoy spending time together without the regular distractions like using your phone, watching TV, or listening to music, and so on and so forth. It’s just the two of you spending quality time with each other, whether it’s having a good conversation over dinner, cooking a meal together, snuggling in bed, or cuddling after sex.
The quality time love language focuses on bonding with your partner and strengthening your relationship with them. It’s about listening to each other and talking about your feelings. It’s doing little things together like going on a drive, grabbing some ice cream from a nearby shop, going grocery shopping, or for a walk along the beach. If you haven’t been able to figure out your love language yet, here are a few signs to help you understand:
- You give your partner your full, undivided attention when they want to talk about something
- You always make time for your partner and feel upset when they aren’t around enough
- Spending time and bonding with your partner is way more important to you than receiving gifts
- You hate it when you don’t feel heard or understood in the relationship
- You get upset when dates or activities scheduled with your partner are postponed
- Your time with your partner is the highlight of the relationship
Most importantly, quality time love language is about how attentive you are when your partner is with you. Are you paying attention to their needs? Are you listening to what they have to say? Do you feel heard and loved? Are you communicating well? Spending quality time is about getting to know each other better and working toward building a stronger relationship.
Quality Time Love Language Ideas And Examples – Things To Do Together
Says a friend, who does not wish to be named, “My boyfriend and I enjoyed spending quality time together. We would bond over a meal or have conversations about everything ranging from our favorite movies and shows to what our dreams were and what we wanted from life. He was a great cook. So, we would cook meals and make tea together.”
If you think you or your partner are leaning more toward quality time love language, that’s beautiful. To make it even more special, there are so many ideas you can tap into for spending meaningful time together and allowing your relationship to truly blossom. So without further ado, let’s get into some quality time love language ideas.
1. Make a meal from scratch together to spend quality time in a relationship
No, you don’t have to be a chef to get this one right. There are many couple apps that can help you discover recipes that are simple, fun, and most importantly, will bring you closer together. So if you two enjoy food as much as you enjoy each other’s company, then try this one someday.
Pick a lazy Sunday afternoon to cook a whole spread or just make yourselves some spaghetti after a long day at work. Whatever it may be, all that matters is that you two are in the kitchen together whipping up love and also something delicious!
2. Go on a hike together
This is definitely for someone who has a quality time love language but also loves a good workout in nature. The thing with hiking is that there are no distractions. As you are trudging up the hill, all that surrounds you is the clean air, breathtaking views, and the person you love so dearly. So, put aside all those funny workout excuses and lace up your shoes.
This is one of the quality time love language examples that many couples actually make a routine out of. They believe in the importance of sharing some time together while also breaking a sweat. It’s great for your body, mind, and relationship if the love language quality time is your thing.
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3. Hear them out over a cup of coffee
If your partner is a patron of quality time love language, then they probably consider being heard and recognized by you more important than anything else that you do for them. Yes, there are many ways of showing affection but simply being there for them is what they consider the most important in the relationship.
Therefore, to surprise them and show them that you care, drop by at their place with a cup of their favorite brew and spend some time just talking to them. They’ll appreciate this way more than you sending them a funny meme to cheer them up in the middle of the day.
4. Put your phones away when you are together
Out of all the love languages, quality time is perhaps the least demanding. All you really have to do to make your partner feel loved is be present with them. Since you’re already smitten, that’s probably not such a hard thing to do. But to really go the extra mile and give them your undivided attention, put your phone away when you two are together.
As hard as it may seem when you read it at first glance, owing to us all being slaves to technology, it really isn’t that difficult when you are with someone you are falling in love with. So stop worrying about your boss or your mom or even your decorator. Just give them an hour of your complete self and spend quality time in a relationship.
5. Go on a long walk after dinner
So you’ve just spent half of a month’s rent eating dinner at the fancy new place in the city. While that is indeed appreciated, what can you do to take things a notch higher? Well, the great thing about quality time love language is that you don’t always have to go all out to give love or show someone you care. For example, instead of heading straight home for a nightcap (and more) after dinner, why don’t you two get out of the restaurant and walk wherever the wind takes you?
As you hold their hand and walk them around the city, we promise you that they will feel as loved and cherished as ever. With this, you can show them that time or place does not matter. All that matters is that you two are together. With such simple yet impactful quality time love language ideas, you can truly make your SO feel cherished and appreciated.
6. Show your quality time love language by going on a road trip
The wind in your hair, the music cranked up, and the love of your life by your side, this is nothing short of paradise. Especially if you are looking for love language quality time ideas, we suggest you plan this one sooner rather than later.
Just sharing a long car ride with your partner can be greatly therapeutic for the two of you if you want to unwind and rekindle that spark. Put on your favorite tunes, grab some snacks and sodas, and head out to the nearest B&B for a beautiful weekend.
7. Cuddle more after sex
Good sex is essential to any relationship. Our physical attraction toward each other is just as important as our intellectual intimacy or emotional connection. But once the deed is done, don’t just put on some TV or start making yourself a snack. Try to stay present with your partner and engage in some pillow talk.
After sex, you two are probably feeling much more vulnerable and open with each other than before. So don’t waste this opportunity to make the most of the quality time love language with them. Caress their hair, kiss their shoulder, and cuddle away.
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8. To spend more quality time in a relationship, create a daily ritual
Out of all the examples of quality time love language, this one should work the best. Perhaps you two lead very different and very busy lives, which makes it difficult to connect during the day and give each other the time that you two deserve. In that case, it can be helpful to weave your partner into your routine by creating a daily ritual around them.
One of the quality time love language ideas in this case is that you two set up a video call every day and eat lunch together but virtually. The same can be done during your morning coffee. Even if it is just 5 minutes long, this virtual dating can make all the difference in the world to show someone you love them when you do it everyday.
9. Dance together in the living room
Sounds like something you’d do in sophomore year of high school but you’re never too old to dance away with the one you love. To blow off some steam or to just have some fun, throw on some music that you two like and dance around the house. This is one of the perfectly cute things to do with your boyfriend at home.
In examples of quality time love language such as these, you do not even have to talk. Just your being there and your body language does the work in making your partner feel special and loved. As corny as it may seem, we bet you are going to have a blast.
10. Tell them more about you each time
Working on your quality time love language can be a great thing. But it all goes in vain if you don’t actually let your guard down and open yourself up to the other person. The root to spending meaningful time with anyone lies in letting them get to know you and trying to understand them too.
So no matter how many road trips or coffee time-outs you take from work to hang out with your partner, these quality time love language ideas will only work when you open up to them. Try asking each other ‘get to know me’ questions or simply let the conversation unfold as it should, but make sure that the time you spend together is actually valuable to you and your love life.
On that note, it’s now safe to conclude this list of quality time love language examples for you to try with your partner. Before you dive in headfirst, remember to take it easy. Your partner may have a different love language and along the way, you may realize that perhaps you do too. Whatever it may be, you’ll find it eventually. But that’s still no reason to not engage in more cuddling after sex or a dance in your living room!
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What If Your And Your Partner’s Love Language Is Different?
First things first, don’t panic. It is absolutely normal for a couple to have two different love languages. More than speaking the same love language, it is important that you understand what each other’s love language is. It’s not easy but if both partners want to be together and are willing to go the extra mile, then it’s not impossible either. Having a different love language is fine but it’s important to understand the differences, otherwise you end up feeling lonely and resentful and put your relationship at risk.
You have to understand what is important to each of you. You need to be able to segregate your needs and wants from your partner’s so that you can give them what they want, and trust them to cater to your needs and desires as well. To be able to achieve this, communication is key. You will really have to communicate better with your partner to strengthen your relationship and come closer together. Partners need to talk about what they need from each other and the relationship.
The idea is to feel valued, respected, and secure in the relationship for which you need to communicate and spend quality time together but at the same time, give each other enough space to grow as individuals. Appreciate the little things your partner does for you even if it is not your style or the way you might show love and affection. Respect each other’s differences. You can communicate and find common ground.
There are many love language quality time ideas that you can try. Being more attentive and listening more is half the battle won. Give them your time, look deeply into their eyes, and plan activities where you get to ignore the rest of the world and talk to each other.
Gary Chapman, in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts, spoke about five different love languages that people use to express and experience love – words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
By always making them feel like they are cherished and loved by you. Don’t ignore their calls or texts. Make sure they know that you are always around if they ever need you. They should trust you enough to rely on you.