Cheating may mean different things to different people, but in the end it hurts.
The pain and heartbreak you feel when you find that your boyfriend has cheated on you is definitely unbearable. You deeply trusted your partner so it is obvious that you feel shocked, wounded and angry at the same time when you get to know of his betrayal. It is unfair that you have done nothing wrong but your life gets changed just because your boyfriend cheated on you. So what you need to do at this time is to learn to forgive and move on; to find your inner peace and to let go of the resentment inside your heart.
How easy is it to forgive a boyfriend who cheated?
When you get into a relationship, you are so much in love that you feel you are in a safe haven and no unhappiness in the world can touch you. But one day either through your own curiosity or a confession from your boyfriend, you get to know that he has cheated on you. That is exactly when your world comes crumbling down and you ask yourself- What should I do with a person who broke my heart and trust? Is forgiving him the right option for me?
You think about forgiving the cheating boyfriend because deep down your love for him is true and you feel that maybe he will mend his ways. However, forgiving someone who betrays you is not an easy task. In order to forgive your boyfriend you will have to be strong enough and accept the harsh reality first. After that you will have to give yourself time to heal and give up your anger towards him. You will have to understand his perspective and deal with the whole situation accordingly.
Remember forgiveness will be a gift not to your boyfriend but to you. Forgiving him does not mean that you are okay with what he did and might be fine if it happened once again. It is just a way to ensure that you do not become a bitter and hateful person. Maybe after forgiving your boyfriend, you can think about giving a second chance to your relationship and hope for a happy future together.
Or perhaps, you’d simply move on, but without any resentment. You need to understand not to carry the weight of the trauma with you and place it in your past.
7 tips to forgive a cheating boyfriend and move on
If you have been betrayed and hurt by your boyfriend then it will be a humiliating and painful experience for you. But you have to come out of this whole tricky situation as a strong and wise person by forgiving your cheating boyfriend. Perhaps forgiving someone who has cheated on you will be the most taxing emotional thing you will ever do. Forgive as it will help you become a better person, stress-free and allow you to meet someone who truly deserves you.
Here the 7 ways on how to forgive cheating boyfriend for all those who believe in second chances and are ready to move on.
1. Avoid being way too emotional
After getting hurt you will get tempted to shout at your boyfriend and humiliate him in the worst possible manner. You will be stressed and might say irrational things to your boyfriend. Therefore it is always advised that you avoid an emotional outburst and calm down first before confronting your boyfriend.
By becoming way too emotional, you will not be able to understand your boyfriend’s viewpoints and will not be able to forgive him easily.
2. Ask your boyfriend to share details regarding the affair
Even though you do not want to talk to your boyfriend, you will have to sit down with him and ask him to share details regarding the affair. For example, where and how the affair started, how long has he been indulging in infidelity, why he got attracted to the other woman etc. This will help you deicde whether or not to take him back. For instance, it may be under the influence of alcohol, and he may be truly sorry – then you may consider to forgive him so as to work on your relationship. Tell your boyfriend to share the vitals without you having to nag for them.
All this information will help you let go of the pain and get the necessary closure. If you do not ask your boyfriend about the affair then the questions in your mind will haunt you and you will not be able to truly forgive your boyfriend.
3. Give enough space and time to each other
While it is natural to want to yell and say mean things to him, it is not advisable. You need some time to process such a big shock and so it is best to take some cooling period. Just go for a walk, cry in your room, hit the pool – anything that can help you think straight and guide you further.
Instead of clinging on to your boyfriend, you must give him space and time by keeping your dignity intact. Give yourself enough space and time as well to think about what has happened and whether you can salvage your relationship or not. Do not meet him and cut off all communication ties with him for the time being.
All this will help you sort out your feelings and thoughts in a better manner.
Related reading: How she healed from the pain of heartbreak
4. Take the help of important people in your life
If you ask the most important people in your life like your close friends that should I forgive him or not then they will help you decide wisely. Without passing any judgments, they will be able to offer you peace of mind and help you get rid of your confusion. As outside people, they will be able to understand your relationship from an objective standpoint. Through their help, you will realize whether your relationship is worth fighting for or not.
5. Approach a professional counselor or therapist
In order to communicate with each other effectively and to know what problems you both have with each other, your boyfriend and you must visit a professional counselor or therapist. Getting an objective third party involved will allow you to see things in a clearer perspective and move on as well. With the help of a mediator, you both will be able to deal with this emotionally charged situation in a much more mature manner.
6. Learn to be patient
When you get to know about your partner’s betrayal, your life will change overnight. But after that you will have to face a lot of challenges and process the whole situation. You cannot expect your relationship to be the same again. You have to learn to be patient to forgive your boyfriend and move on with him or without him. Without giving time to the healing process, you will not be able to deal with the heartbreak responsibly.
7. Make your final decision
It will be difficult for you to take the final decision regarding your relationship. But then you have to take the plunge. If you are willing to accept your boyfriend and he is ready to make necessary changes in his behavior then you can decide to make your relationship work. However, if your boyfriend is not ashamed and is not interested in the relationship anymore then you must let go and move on. But before you decide just make sure you forgive your boyfriend for your own mental health and peace.
It is always the people closest to us, who have the ability to hurt us in the worst possible manner. And it is always within our power to forgive them and focus on making our life better. So forgive your boyfriend in order to lead a happy and prosperous life in the future.
What if he cheated multiple times?
A majority of women approach the counselors with this question- how to forgive someone who cheated on you multiple times? Well there is no clear cut answer for this question. But if someone cheats on you multiple times it means that cheating is deeply ingrained in his character. He is not going to improve no matter what promises he makes to you. He is failing to respect you and care for the love you have for him by cheating on you multiple times. So my friend, take control of the situation and break up with him.
Why are you ruining your chances of meeting someone better by wasting your time on a man who is not a man of his words? Think about it.