Cheating may mean different things to different people, but in the end, it hurts. The pain and heartbreak you feel when you find that your boyfriend has cheated on you can be unbearable. You deeply trusted your partner so it is obvious that you feel shocked, wounded and angry, all at the same time when you learn of his betrayal. It is unfair that your life takes a downturn because of your partner’s infedelity despite you being the faithful one. So what you need to do at this time is to learn to forgive and move on; to find your inner peace and to let go of the resentment inside your heart it is probably important to forgive a cheating boyfriend and move on.
How easy is it to forgive a boyfriend who cheated?
When you get into a relationship, you are so much in love that you feel you are in a safe haven and no unhappiness in the world can touch you. But one day either through your own curiosity or a confession from your boyfriend, you get to know that he has cheated on you.
That is exactly when your world comes crumbling down and you ask yourself- What should I do with a person who broke my heart and trust? Is forgiving him the right option for me? Forgiving a boyfriend who has been disloyal to you is not easy.
You think about forgiving the cheating boyfriend because deep down your love for him is true and you feel that maybe he will mend his ways. However, forgiving someone who betrays you is not an easy task. In order to forgive your boyfriend, you will have to be strong enough and accept the harsh reality first. After that, you will have to give yourself time to heal and give up your anger towards him. You will have to understand his perspective and deal with the whole situation accordingly.
Remember forgiveness will be a gift not to your boyfriend but to you. Forgiving him does not mean that you are okay with what he did and might be fine if it happened once again. It is just a way to ensure that you do not become a bitter and hateful person. Maybe after forgiving your boyfriend, you can think about giving a second chance to your relationship and hope for a happy future together. Forgiveness and restoration in a relationship are not easy things.
Or perhaps, you’d simply move on, but without any resentment. You need to understand not to carry the weight of the trauma with you and place it in your past. It’s not worth crying over an unfaithful partner.
7 tips to forgive a cheating boyfriend and move on
1. Avoid being too emotional
Post the incident, you will be tempted to scream and shout and humiliate your boyfriend in the worst possible manner. The anger will make you want to act irrationally. Try not to give in to these emotions because they tend to have the worst outcomes. Ride out the worst part of the storm calmly and then think with a clear head. It is always better that you avoid an emotional outburst and calm down first before confronting your boyfriend. By becoming overly emotional, you might end up saying something that ruins your bond forever. You won’t be able to understand your boyfriend’s perspective or be able to forgive him. Losing your cool is bad for your state of mind and simply not worth it.
2. Ask your boyfriend to share details regarding the affair
For example, where and how it started, the duration of it, why he decided to go through with it etc.
This will help you decide whether or not you want to take him back.
3. Give enough space and time to each other
Instead of clinging on to your boyfriend, you must give him space and keep your self respect. Give yourself enough space and time as well to think about what has happened and whether you want to salvage your relationship or not.
4. Take the help of important people in your life
The most important people in your life like your close friends and family will help you make a decision that is best for you. They won’t judge you and will give you sound guidance. As outsiders, they will be able to understand your predicament from an objective standpoint. With their help, you will realize whether your relationship is worth fighting for.
5. Approach a professional counselor or therapist
In order to communicate with each other effectively and work through your problems, you can visit a professional counsellor or therapist. Getting a professional third party involved will allow you to see things with a clearer perspective. They may be able to identify problems in your relationship that you didn’t even know existed. With the help of a mediator, you will both be able to deal with this emotionally charged situation in a significantly mature manner. If you really want your relationship to work out and truly forgive a cheating boyfriend, consider seeing a therapist.
Related reading: 9 Proven Benefits Of Counselling Don’t Suffer In Silence
6. Learn to be patient
When you get to know about your partner’s betrayal, your life will change overnight. You will have to face several challenges while you process the whole situation. Your relationship might never be the same again. You have to learn to be patient in order to forgive your boyfriend and move on, with or without him. Either way, you must give yourself and your relationship an adequate amount of time to heal. This might take an undefined amount of time and hence, you must learn to be patient.
7. Make your final decision
It is always the people who are closest to us that have the ability to hurt us in the worst possible manner. And it is always within our power to forgive them and focus on making our own lives better.
What if he cheated multiple times?
Ever heard of the phrase once a cheater, always a cheater?