Affairs in the workplace are happening on a daily basis and are increasing shockingly. Many men and women have affairs with their co-workers. It is very common for men and women who are working together, every day, to become romantically involved with each other. There is something so exciting and alluring about workplace affairs that married people fail to protect themselves from these affairs. While they start as innocent emotional affairs, there relationships soon cross the path to infidelity
How common are affairs in the workplace?
Nowadays, the workplace has become a hotbed for extramarital affairs. The long stretch of working hours, business tours, projects and teamwork among the colleagues provide a lot of opportunity for temptation for both men and women. Add to that dissatisfaction from married life, family issues, marital problems and you have the perfect recipe for an extramarital affair. Some of the reasons as to why workplace affairs are widespread among the couples are:
- People put it in so much effort to have a fulfilling career that the family takes a backseat and when they end up feeling lonely, they just turn to their colleagues for support and understanding. This usually marks the beginning of an office affair
- Married couples fail to give each other time due to the increase in both personal and professional responsibilities. Since they forget to spend valuable and intimate time together, they try to find love and acceptance in the workplace
- Working in the same place means the colleagues spend a good amount of time together, share work related stress and common career interests. This provides the foundation of building close bonds with each other, which ultimately might lead to romance
- Workplace affairs are free from the problems that haunt established relationships like sharing of finances, raising kids together, division of household chores etc
Related reading: Why I continue to stay married to my cheating husband
Statistics and facts related to office affairs
In order to better understand why workplace affairs are so ordinary these days, let us take a quick look at some of the workplace affairs statistics.
- 36% of people confess that they have affair with their co-worker
- 35% of people confess that they indulge in infidelity when they go on business trips. (https://www.trustify.info/blog/infidelity-statistics-2017)
- Some research shows that around 60% of affairs usually begin in the workplace. (https://www.creditdonkey.com/infidelity-statistics.html)
- The office is one of the top 6 places along with the gym and social media, etc. where affairs generally start. (http://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/2017/05/04/6-most-common-places-where-affairs-start.html)
- Since, more women are becoming a part of the workforce, workplace romances are increasing. (https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html)
- The Internet and technology have made it possible for people engaged in workplace affairs to be in touch even outside the workplace
Thus, we can come to the conclusion that office affairs have become a part and parcel of modern day life.
How do office affairs begin?
Those of you who are curious as to how work affairs start, here is a snippet to give you a clear idea.
- First, two colleagues start working together purely on professional terms
- Slowly and steadily, friendship develops between the two of them
- Over time, the friendship involves innocent flirtation
- An understanding develops between the two of them and they start sharing personal stuff with each other
- Ultimately, the emotional support turns into physical intimacy and attraction and the affair begins
Is your husband having an affair in office?
Having dinner alone again for the fifth time this week? Is your husband accepting extra hours of work in the office without consulting you and the family? Is he genuinely working or is he cheating with someone at work? In order to find out the truth, you have to learn to be smart.
Next time your husband says he has to work late night urgently, you can drop by the office to have dinner with him. If he is there in the office and is touched by your surprise visit, then all is well. However, if he is not there then you should get the idea that something is wrong.
Related reading: Does an emotional affair count as ‘cheating’?
Try to overhear the conversation he has with his woman colleague. Is it simply work related or is their noticeable chemistry between the two of them? Dig deeper and find out enough evidence to know what is actually going on.
Workplace affairs- 15 Signs your husband is having an affair at office
Before you can come to the conclusion that your husband is actually having an affair with a co-worker, you have to check for the signs that your husband is cheating at work. Some subtle signs are mentioned below. You might think that he will not break your trust, but you never know.
1. He is happy to spend time at work than at home
This means he happily accepts extra hours of work and comes home late at night. He seems super excited to go to work in the morning and does not complain about the long hours of work. Is it true, that he likes the work that he is doing or is it just pretence to hide his secret work affair? No one can be very happy about spending most of the time at work than at home, because it is stressful and extremely exhausting.
2. He rarely has time to have a meaningful conversation with you
Apart from spending too much time at work, he will even stop having meaningful conversations with you. When you spend alone time with him, you will notice that he will bring up some work related issue and avoid you completely. He will either be on his work laptop or work phone all the time, at home.
3. He is never okay with the idea of you visiting his office
He keeps telling you not to visit his office, as he is extremely busy. Even if you land up in his workplace to surprise him, he seems uncomfortable and gets angry at you.
4. He does not share work-related stuff with you anymore
At the start of your relationship, you must have noticed your husband sharing his work-related achievements and issues with you enthusiastically. But now, does he seem distant and avoids sharing work-related stuff with you? If yes, then something is probably amiss.
5. He pays too much attention to his looks
If your husband is getting makeovers just to enhance his looks then there is scope for doubt, especially if it is not what you asked for. When he suddenly gets a new trendy haircut, wears attractive clothes and applies new expensive perfume for work, then you should probably be warned.
6. He showers you with too much love
All of a sudden, if you notice that your husband is showering you with too much attention and love without any concrete reason, then you better watch out. He will be showing all this affection towards you because of the guilt of having a work affair or to keep you under his spell.
7. He complains about household responsibilities
Does your husband feel irritated and frustrated to carry out even basic household responsibilities? Does he dislike assisting you in the household chores or visiting the family occasionally? If your answer to these two questions is yes, then he has probably become tempted to indulge in infidelity.
8. He does not take you to work events
Obviously, since he is having an office affair, he will not take you to work events in which you might bump into his affair partner. So, even if you are invited for any work event, he will make some excuse or another to stop you from accompanying him.
9. There is a drastic change in his attitude
You will notice that he will suddenly seem extremely confident and at ease with himself due to the affair with an attractive co-worker. He will not ask for your advice or opinion on work related matters. Your importance in his life will be deteriorating, while this other woman gets all his confidence and attention.
Related reading: Signs your husband is having an affair
10. You find women related stuff in his belongings
If you happen to find a lipstick, women’s handkerchief, earrings, etc. in your husband’s belongings that are not yours, then it is clear that he is having an affair. He will surely get flustered if you confront him about this stuff and become defensive.
11. He seems very inattentive
He becomes forgetful and does not take care of your needs. He hardly pays attention to what you have to say, as his mind is occupied with thoughts of the affair partner.
12. He talks about a particular woman co-worker obsessively
He will probably start talking about a particular woman co-worker on a daily basis. He will tell you about her great personality traits, her work achievements and will keep praising her enough to make you feel suspicious. If you hear a name more than often, it clearly indicates that your husband is in awe of her and is constantly thinking about her.
13. Countless business trips become a part of his schedule
Every week, he will tell you that he has to go on a business trip this weekend. The frequency of these trips will increase month by month. Unless he has a job with requires travelling on a continuous basis, you can be sure that he is actually using business trips to spend time with the affair partner.
14. You hardly know any of his work colleagues
Except the woman colleague, he keeps mentioning again and again, you do not know any of his other work colleagues. He clearly does not want you to meet his other colleagues who might spill the beans in front of you.
15. Arguments with him become extremely dramatic
Now, since he has a new person in his life in the form of the attractive co-worker, you will not be a priority for him. So, he will keep arguing with you and criticising you. Arguments between the two of you become extremely dramatic and ultimately, the blame falls on you.
How can workplace affairs be troublesome?
Workplace affairs can lead to trouble, because these affairs complicate the relationship dynamics between the three people involved – the husband, the wife and the affair partner. Emotions of the people involved are hurt. The professional consequences that the two people having the extramarital affair face can be really negative and damaging. Workplace affairs can actually destroy a person’s reputation professionally.
If you catch your husband red-handed, then it is up to you to decide what to do. End things with your husband once and for all or make an effort to salvage your married life. If you pick the latter option, then you have to confront him and ensure that he cuts off all ties with that affair partner. Make him change his job/workplace, if possible. However, if your husband does not improve, then it is better to get rid of such a relationship which hampers your peace of mind.