If you go by the extravagant depiction of a big, fat wedding that’s shown in the movies, it seems like everything is so glittery, hopeful and happy. But, real life begins after that. When all the celebration dies down, the guests have gone back to their home and all the gifts have been unwrapped, that’s when it would hit you that you’re truly married to your significant other. Love marriage or arranged marriage, both need a hundred percent of your effort and dedication to make it a happy marriage.
Here’s the ultimate happy marriage checklist to ensure that the two of you’ll have a blissful union. Tick off everything that you do for your spouse and vice versa. Also, work on the things that you have swept under the rug.
7 point ultimate happy marriage checklist
No one is ever prepared to deal with a reality called marriage. So mistakes happen, arguments take place and you might feel lost. But there are some small and simple things you can do to ensure that things stay in your control and you can enjoy marital bliss.
1. Turn chores into favours
Dividing house chores proportionately does not come by easily. And that can lead to some passive aggressiveness in women more than men.
It’s better to talk about things clearly because men prefer a direct approach more than catching on hints.
While life at home is far different from life at work, there’s one similarity in both – put a reward in sight and the work will be done faster. So if you ask your husband to do the laundry, tell him that he’d be rewarded for the same in bed. And you’ll see the relationship between the work and its reward. It will in turn lead to a happy marriage.
2. Don’t constantly pursue him emotionally
Women are inherently fixers, wanting to know everything ASAP, while your husband might be the kind who likes his space. Do not always press him to tell things when he is emotionally stressed. Everyone likes some room to breathe and evaluate things.
A little judgment and criticism are alright but as the years pass by, your husband would much rather you let him be for a while. Survival of a marriage depends on how open and easy-going your conversations can be without the feeling of being nagged and judged all the time.
3. Attack the problem, not the spouse
Arguments with your spouse are healthy. But often, the arguments go all out of hand. Instead of focusing on the issue at hand, we all tend to be impulsive and say things in blind anger. So try not to assassinate your husband’s character. Don’t generalize things. Don’t use words like ‘never’ and ‘always’ while arguing because that doesn’t leave any scope for change and growth.
4. Keep your conversations simple
It’s not an unlikely situation that you want to have a serious conversation with your better half and he just wouldn’t want to go there.
Men do not find an intense need to express themselves as elaborately as women do. Which is why communication between the two can often become complicated.
So try to keep things simple and straightforward instead of running around the bush. Also, try to keep your tone even and friendly. A lot of communication happens without words!
5. Don’t be afraid if you’re not on the same page
Marriage doesn’t guarantee that the two of you will always stand on some common ground. There will be issues where both of you will think differently and have different opinions. On such occasions instead of going on a fight or flight mode try to put your point across in a non-argumentative or defensive manner. When you’re open to the idea of change and adjustment, your partner will take notice of the same and try as well. It’s not an issue being at odds, so do not be afraid. Try to hear and be heard and you’ll both come on some mutual agreement and this will lead to a happy marriage.
6. Treat your spouse like you’d treat a child
It’s so easy hyping a child for every small thing they achieve yet we forget doing it for the adults around us. Treat your partner the same way. Applaud for their every accomplishment. Tell them repeatedly how much you love them and what they mean to you. Make them feel as special as you’d make a child feel. Appreciating for every specific thing they do will also remind them of all the things you like about them. This is a sure sign of a happy marriage.
7. Touch often
A simple hug or a kiss on their cheek or even a simple smile just directed to them is a lot. It does stand for a happy marriage. Caught up in everyday work, it’s easy to forget the little things that you used to do for each other. And usually, these tender touches are the first to go.
Every evening when you meet after a long day of work, make sure to acknowledge their presence even if for just 5 minutes.
That way you make sure, they know they are your priority regardless of the amount of work. Without that physical connection, you risk becoming more like roommates rather than lovers.
With these seven check boxes are ticked, maintaining a relationship wouldn’t feel like a hard job for you at all. Your marriage will rock. It will be the ultimate happy marriage.