Love and attention are the basic emotions arising from a romantic relationship between two individuals. Most couples take these for granted, with one person basking in the glow of the other’s affection. But sometimes, there might not be enough love left in the relationship.
If you have to tell your man that you need love and attention in the relationship, then maybe it’s about time to reconsider the status of your relationship or take action to reignite the spark. If you feel the romance has dried up, then maybe you can take things into your own hands and reclaim the love.
10 Tips To Get The Love & Attention You Deserve
But if you want your man’s attention and are not ready to give up on the relationship, you need to be strong. Being a doormat doesn’t earn you respect or love. There might be various reasons for the lack of love in the relationship, so you need to understand the root of the cause and handle the situation accordingly.
Follow these 10 tips if you are all committed to the idea of earning back the love and affection of your man:
Related reading: How Do You Give Someone Attention In A Relationship?
1. Tell him what you want
At first, try talking to him. Tell him that you feel neglected and it is affecting you emotionally. Tell him how things have changed between you guys. The attention and love he showered on you at the beginning of your relationship is not there anymore, and that you miss the way things used to be.
Most probably he won’t understand or acknowledge. Men seldom do. But you need to give him that chance. Often, men don’t realize how their actions can be impacting their partner or recognize that something is wrong with the relationship.
So just try to improve communication in your relationship and tell him how you feel, clearly.
2. Dress up
He might not notice your pain or sadness, but he’s sure to notice when you are looking sexy. So dress up. It also helps you emotionally by making you feel good about yourself. But don’t dress up for him. Get dressed for a girls’ night out, for visiting parents, for an office party but not for him.
He will notice the difference sooner or later. The change in your appearance can even leave him wondering why you’re suddenly paying so much attention to your looks. Are you having an affair? What about all the compliments and appreciative glances you may be getting from others? If this doesn’t make him insecure and shower you with love and attention, nothing will.
3. Don’t fake it in bed
Contrary to what men believe, women often don’t orgasm during intercourse. Most women don’t even get aroused if sex is not accompanied by love and attention in bed. But we continue to fake it in bed because we don’t want to bruise our man’s ego.
Don’t do it. Don’t make him feel everything is all right when it isn’t. If you don’t orgasm and the sex is boring for you, then get that message across. You can even go ahead and light a cigarette in the middle of the act if it is that boring. Once his ego is affected, he will surely be ready for conversation.
4. Make date nights compulsory
When he starts looking for a solution, go ahead and suggest the need to bring back the romance in the relationship. For doing that, make date nights compulsory. Be it fine dining or going to the movies, you both to spend some quality time as a couple without the distraction of friends, family or children,
Dressing up, turning the phones off, and really talking to each other – the whole shebang! If he tries to work his way out of these, then you must tell him that you are thinking of walking out on him. It will definitely get him to toe the line.
Related reading: Why Do Women Fake Orgasms?
5. Don’t let your life revolve around him
Stop keeping your life on hold for him. Don’t wait for him to have fun or relax. If he’s not paying you much attention anyway, he won’t dedicate time for your pleasures either. Make him wait for you while you indulge in some self-love and pamper yourself.
Visit the spa, take a short trip for the weekend, go out with friends, and concentrate on your job – things that might have taken a back seat in your life as you were extremely preoccupied with him. Your frequent absence will surely be noted.
6. Don’t be eager to return his texts
He’s not there when you need him, but once that phone chimes with his message tone you can’t wait to reply – why? Why do you feel such an obligation? He has taken you for granted and he only texts you when he needs something. So make him wait.
Once he doesn’t get your immediate attention, he’ll surely try to woo his way into your good books with renewed love.
Related reading: How I Lost My Identity While I Was Busy Building My Husband’s Life
7. Don’t accept empty apologies
Lack of love & attention in a relationship can’t be made up with a half-hearted apology for hurting someone you love. It is very easy to say sorry and not mean it. Ask him why he’s saying sorry, and only if you see that he’s truly remorseful about having ignored you, consider forgiving him.
8. Spend time away from him
It may sound counter-productive to spend time apart when you want nothing more than to get his attention. But hear us out. Sometimes proximity breeds monotony
Spend some time away from him, visit your parents, stay with them for a few days. Your absence will make him realize your importance in his life all over again, and he’ll return to you with all his love and attention. If he’s into you, he will miss you and will want you back ASAP.
9. Healthy flirting can help
Healthy flirting is a fool-proof way of getting back your man’s love and attention. You can flirt lightly with other guys but make sure you don’t cross any lines. If he gets insecure and talks to you about it, then he is still invested in the relationship and is scared of losing you. He’ll surely sit up and take notice, and be willing to make amends.
10. Convince him to see a couples’ counselor
If nothing works, ask him to see a couples’ counselor. Counseling can be a great way of resolving issues and opening up communication between couples. If he actually wants to sustain the relationship, he will agree to do it.
There can be various reasons why your guys might not be showering you with as much love and affection anymore. But if you want to get back his undivided attention, then keep these tips in mind and give some of these ways a try. It might be easier than you are thinking right now.
A woman can intuitively understand what a man is thinking or feeling. If your guy isn’t being attentive to you, spending time alone or away from you, not engaging in conversations with you or doesn’t even want to get intimate; then things are definitely not right.
Falling out of love is a natural phenomenon that can happen to anyone, due to various reasons. But it is important not to give up hope immediately and end the relationship. If you both are understanding & mature, you can try to sort out the issues and your man can very much fall back in love with you again!
The reasons for the lack of love in your relationship can be anything, and doesn’t necessarily involve another woman. It can be due to work pressure, mental stress, some action of yours which he might not have liked, or some other issue altogether. Hence, it’s best to talk about it like adults and try to resolve any differences.