Relationships 101

Everything you need to know about the 7 types of affairs

If you have been classifying all affairs as 'one', you need to read this.
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‘Affair’ is quite a common word these days, but all affairs are not the same. Infidelity finds its way through in 7 ways. It is important to know what kind of affair a cheating partner had so as to make the decision to end the relationship or continue with it can be easily taken. Not to say that an affair is not detrimental to a relationship or a marriage; but they affect the people involved in different ways. Know more about the 7 types of affairs.

7 types of affairs you did not know about

If you were just adjusting yourself to the idea of emotional and sexual affairs, then you have a lot more to think about. Affairs don’t just stop till here. In the age of self-exploration and digital enthusiasm, affairs go far beyond just these two. You want to avoid cheating on your partner and try to find an outlet otherwise. You build a connection with someone that is surely going to be frowned upon and before you know it, you realise that you have been cheating all along! Here are 7 types of affairs and everything you need to know about them.

1. A sexual affair – the classic cheating

The sexual affair is the most popular and the most common of all types of affairs. You know that you are unfaithful, but are still doing it anyway. It is a casual fling to satisfy your sexual fantasies and desires. Your interest in it is not beyond sex and you avoid any kind of emotional attachment with your fling. It adheres to what it says, ‘just sex’. It could be with a random person or a friend with whom you are seeking benefits. The person doesn’t matter, but the activity does. There is no emotional intimacy and you are in it with no strings attached. The life of these affairs is limited to the satisfaction of your sexual needs. Once your sexual needs are satisfied, these affairs come to an end.

However, they affect a partner deeply and sex and intimacy form the foundation of a committed relationship.

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2. An emotional affair – cheating without physical intimacy

An emotional affair begins with harmless friendship and slowly evolves into a deep connection. Sometimes, it manifests s a platonic relationship which can eventually harm a marriage. You deceive yourself by leading yourself to think that it does not come into the category of cheating, but deep down you know that you are cheating. About 35% of wives and 45% of husbands report having emotional affairs, according to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy.

Women are usually drawn towards emotional affairs because they are never really emotionally satisfied. The emotional void in their marriage makes them connect with someone to satisfy their emotional needs. Men too, have emotional affairs with their close friends or colleagues. This relationship involves great emotional intimacy which isn’t limited to ‘just friends’.

An emotional affair may involve physical intimacy, but it is much stronger than it. One can easily get attached to a person, but it is much more difficult to detach yourself from that person. You think that it’s harmless because of no sex involved, but it’s even worse.

3. The digital affair – the peril of technology

In the era of the world becoming digital, it is difficult for one not to have a digital affair – the modern type of affair. When you connect with someone through online dating sites or social media and engage in conversations that you should be having with your husband/wife, it is a digital affair. You are involved with this person almost every day and share your experiences, fears, emotions and even feelings. You start to confide and slowly a bond starts to develop. People who have digital affairs entice each other by sending seductive, sexy text messages and build a virtual intimate relationship.

You may or may not meet the person physically, but the chats in your phone are enough to say that you are cheating on your partner. When do you plan on telling your spouse?

Mobile Chatting

4. The one-night stand affair – the opportunist

A one-night stand affair is usually a moment of weakness or an impulse. You didn’t plan to do it, but it just ‘happened’. Whether you were angry or drunk doesn’t make it any less than cheating. These affairs are usually based on impulse and are had with strangers. The fact that it was a one-time affair makes you want to keep it under wraps. Most people who have one-night affairs don’t let their partners know about their actions. They feel guilty of their actions and don’t want meaningless sex to ruin what they have with their partner.

At times, people have one-night stands to take revenge on their partner and make sure that their partner knows about it. They sleep with someone and enjoy the night as a way to take revenge for cheating or mistreatment in a marriage. Such cases almost always end in divorce. Take all the revenge you want, as long as you can live with it.

5. The distraction affair – being emotionally unavailable

This is when you are cheating on your partner without even realising it. You think it’s a distraction, but it turns out to become a mode of destruction in your marriage.
Most people try to engage themselves in their work or some kind of activity that keeps them involved for long. It could be a game, a project or a series of movies. They use these distractions as an outlet to avoid the real problems of their marriage. They don’t want to face it, so find a way of avoiding it instead of talking about it. As a result, they become physically and emotionally distant from their partners by giving priority to their distractions.

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6. The ‘double life’ affair- longing for something outside the marriage

Well, this is cheating through and through. This is when you have an actual meaningful relationship with someone else behind your partner’s back. It is like you have two relationships running parallel. There is both emotional and sexual intimacy and maybe even love. You are cheating on your partner with a person who can actually replace him/her. People who have this affair end up becoming masters of manipulation and experts in lying and deceiving. They live a married live, no matter how imperfect it it, and fulill their needs elsewhere – both emotional and physical. It’s a double life that such people live.

Such people get into relationships because they are unhappy with their marriage, or this is what they say. They are unable to leave their spouses for some reason or the other; maybe the kids, the alimony, not wanting to hurt them or may be some crazy obsessive behaviour. Whatever the reason is, they feel trapped in the marriage and are unable to get out of it and thus indulge in this double life.

7. The serial affair – the sex addict

These affairs are for the sex addicts and ultimate playboys. They go on and on, affairs after affairs without caring about what their partner feels. They don’t have feelings for their spouses and thus love is just a word for them. Sex is like a drug they are addicted to and their sexual needs are never going to be satisfied by just one person. They easily get bored and go on multiple sex drives. They are controlled by their sexual needs and it is not going to stop. Such people are adept in hiding their affairs from their spouses. They don’t want their inner beasts to be revealed and thus ensure that they don’t get caught.

Sex or no sex, an affair is an affair. Cheating on your wife or girlfriend could be your out for some time. It is only time before she finds out. Cheating is very common, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is wrong. It weakens the entire foundation of your marriage. Infidelity, though wrong, has a way to seduce frustrated couples into it and thus come the various affairs. Which one did you see yourself or your partner in?

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