When we are in deep attraction or love we ignore the signs that are indicating that the reciprocation might be a little off balance. Love does not depend on reciprocation. True. But you need to know the kind of relationship you are in, to navigate yourself. So here are a couple of markers to consider the possibility that your guy is avoiding you.
Note: Avoidance does not translate into refusal, so don’t allow your heart to break. Rather accept the fact that he requires some space and time. Instead of a passive aggressive move of shutting him out, have a kind conversation and express your feeling that you both might be in need of a breather. If he was avoiding you, he is going to pick this up at one go.
Here are the signs to know if a guy is avoiding you…
1. Body language
What you cannot muster up to say out loud, your gestures reveal. Though we often hang on to spoken words, the more nuanced reading of a person would be to take in their body language along with it. No, I won’t bore you with a detailed body language analysis. But two simple things that you can easily read are eye contact and body orientation.
Breaking eye contact too often, looking away in the middle of a conversation- alert! He might be wishing inwardly that he spots someone he knows and excuses himself from you to join his saviour.
Another very simple way to find out if somebody wants to get out of the spot is the betrayal of their body. His feet will involuntarily point away from you, his body tilts away, shoulders turned in another direction from you. Be graceful in your understanding, smile, beg your pardon and go home to rack your brain.
2. Tortoise text
The spontaneous charmer that used to text you in the middle of his busy schedules, make time for you to have a chat, is now a miser of words. The scanty replies to your incessant attempts at striking a conversation might not only be his laziness, your guy is avoiding you for sure.
Long silences are nice when you walk alongside at a beach, over texts it is hard cold. Do not get frustrated.
Consider the possibility of something that he is busy with or that is bothering him which he needs to sort out without your presence. Let him be. Or it could be that he is a coward in the shape of a gentleman who cannot say it out loud, he would rather not talk to you. Leave him.
3. Excuse machine
Remember when you wanted to bunk your economics class because that teacher used to irritate you? And the creative excuses you would craft to avoid a parent’s call and still get off the hook? What if he’s trying to get off of yours? It is true though that excuses, like crying wolf, with over use has become a victim of misinterpretation. But, how many times, how often and how incredulous are these excuses? Notice if his commitments come with an implied rain-check on them and a book titled “Sorry, my neighbour’s dog fell off the staircase and broke his bark; had to fly out of the country for treatment.”
I am sure he really fell asleep, the Uber driver cancelled thrice, his boss is behaving like a monster, but recurrent excuses to postpone plans only means he would rather not be spending that time with you.
Bow out. Because your guy is avoiding you and you don’t need to keep pestering him. If at all those excuses were real and truly his life was falling apart, the space you allowed him will help him figure things out. He will be more ready to make time for you now. But if the prodigal son never returns, it is good riddance.
4. No initiative
He doesn’t make plans for the movies, or a date or to hang out with common friends. He always has his own plans and expects you to have your own. This is a red flag. He doesn’t want to spend time with you. You also don’t take the initiative. Just go ahead and have plans with your friends and family. Chances are the space will do him good and he would want to hang out with you again.
Every relationship needs so time off. Maybe yours also needs at the moment. Handle it accordingly. Instead of feeling ignored by someone you love make the most of this time to do your own things. Things will fall in place again.