After fighting with your boyfriend, you will be probably be having a lot of doubts and questions. You might be feeling aggressive and wondering how do you calm down after a fight? How do you apologize after a fight? What to do after a fight with your boyfriend? Ever wondered why we fight with people that are closest to us? It is because with love comes a great number of expectations? Even the smallest negative reaction by your partner towards you can get you hurt. Out of all the people you know, you would never want your partner to be the one to misunderstand you and hurt you. With all this, you both get into a big fight for even the smallest of things. After a few moments of your fight, your emotions signal you that it’s time to reconnect with your partner but you don’t know how to talk with your boyfriend after a fight.
People say that having fights make relationships stronger. But fights also lead us to question a lot of things, especially the relationship in question.
What to do after a fight with your boyfriend?
After a fight with your boyfriend, you know that it’s time to talk to your boyfriend but you don’t know whether he has calmed down yet or not. You don’t know after argument how long to wait and that’s completely normal. Time taken to calm down after a fight depends from person to person. Arguments are common in a relationship but it is what you do after that decides whether your relationship is growing stronger or is headed for its doom.
Related reading: 8 Ways to reconnect after a big fight
10 things to do after a fight with your boyfriend
After having fought with your boyfriend, you need to exercise restrain on your thoughts. Though it would be advised to handle the issues with kindness and tenderness, it is easier said than done. Yet, you will need to understand that the issue of conflict is the problem here, not your partner. Abusing him or playing blame games won’t take you anywhere. If you are slightly careful about how you address the issue, you may be able to save your relationship in a much better and promising way.
1. Take your time to calm down
Before talking to your partner after a fight, it is important for you to first calm down. If you are still in the process of cooling down, it will only trigger the fight again if you go and talk to him. Making your mind right before talking to him will help your mind think clearly and you anger will not cloud your judgements. You’ll be ready to have a healing conversation after the fight.
2. Talk things out
Communicate. After you both have calmed down and are longing to make it up to each other, talk it out. It doesn’t matter who initiates the conversation, what matters is that you both want to get back to normal again. Now that you both are ready to talk, tell your boyfriend the reason you reacted in that way and what made you feel hurt the most. Playing the blame game will just make your relationship sourer. It is important to understand each other’s perspective.
Communication is the only key.
3. Find the trigger
It might be the third or fourth time you and your boyfriend have fought over the same matter. It is important to find the trigger that starts the fight. If the fight is about something he said that hurt you, it might not be because of him. It could be something associated with your past or deeply buried feelings that came to life when your boyfriend said something. Find the trigger and make sure that it is removed so that it again doesn’t cause the same fight.
Related reading: 6 Reasons a Guy Ignores You after a Fight and 5 Things You Can Do
4. Don’t let your ego come in the way
People tend to fight because they think that they are not heard even though they are right. At times our egos come in our way and we expect our partner to be the one to say sorry and accept his mistake. As a result, both partners keep maintaining a sour face and this only further poisons the relationship. If doesn’t matter whose fault it was. What matters is how much your partner means to you. If you feel that you are right, talk to your partner and make him understand why instead of telling him to ask for forgiveness.
5. Block all negative thoughts
At times, we feel so angry that all kinds of negative thoughts come to our mind with respect to our partner and our relationship. We sometimes feel like just shouting it out and be done with our relationship.
It is your anger talking. Those emotions are just a product of your anger and will go away once you cool down. Avoid those negative thoughts and think about making amends instead. Negative thoughts will just destroy your relationship and you will regret your actions later.
Related reading: 13 signs he disrespects you and does not deserve you
6. Listen to your heart
Your heart will always lead you towards your partner. No matter how bad the fight is, your heart will want you to get back to your partner and talk. No matter how practical a person you are, when it comes to a relationship, it is all about your heart. Listen to what your heart is telling you and you will be back with your partner in no time. You both will find your way to each other.
7. Listen to what your partner has to say
Every story has two sides but we feel that only our version is the one that is right. Specially after a fight with your boyfriend, you may be tempted to believe that you were right, your issues are totally justified. There are times when you both could be wrong. It is thus important for you to listen to what your partner has to say. It could be that you took his words in a wrong way and he meant something totally different. He might be as hurt as you are but you won’t know about it unless you talk to him. Listen to your partner and understand his perspective. It will help you both solve the issue faster and get back to being love birds again.
8. Give in
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to give in and say sorry to your boyfriend. Say sorry for the way you reacted and shouted at him. At times, situations can be handled by just talking it out but we choose to fight instead. Though fights make us realize how much our boyfriend means to us and that we cannot live without him, it also builds a small rift between you and your partner which keeps on increasing with every fight. Being the first one to give in shows your boyfriend that you keep your relationship above all.
Related reading: Cute little ways to say sorry after a fight
9. Make new rules
Now that you both know the triggers to your fights and are willing to sort it out make new rules that you both will follow to prevent such fights in future. It could be not talking about the topic, not talking for a maximum of half an hour after the fight, will still eat together no matter how bad the fight is, making up after the fight on the same night, and so on. Setting new rules and boundaries will help in keeping the relationship healthy and you know exactly what to expect from your partner in such situations.
10. Hug it out
At times, you can’t figure out the right words to say to your boyfriend to make amends. In such a situation, the best thing to do is to hug it out. Once you hug your partner, all the anger will just melt down and your partner will realize how much he missed you. Hugging it out works like a miracle, no matter how big a fight you both had. Don’t forget to talk about the issue after this, so that next time you do not have to fight with your boyfriend again over the same thing. It is still important to solve the issue otherwise it can lead to more fights in future.
The above tips will help in healing relationships after a fight with your boyfriend. Healing your relationship after a fight with help in making your foundation stronger and will prevent any ill feelings from coming in the way of your relationship. In a fight, the key is to put your partner above the fight because thinking about your feelings just means that you are giving more importance to yourself rather than your relationship. Always make amends and learn to forgive and your relationship will go a long way.