5 harmless mistakes in a relationship that are actually harmful

Rucha Ogale
alia and badri

Don’t jeopardise your relationship due to these silly mistakes

They say one should make mistakes and learn from them to grow. Many a times we say or act without really thinking of the implications. It could be something very unintentional like taking your partner for granted or assuming things for them. While this may not seem like it is a big deal, it can lead to serious misunderstandings and fights.

Here are 5 innocent relationship mistakes we should avoid:

1. Watch your words

So couples fight and words are out and words that are once said cannot be taken back. Be it a debate over whose idea of investment makes more sense or a simple argument over what to eat, always make sure to use the right words. People often blurt out words like ‘you fool’ or ‘you are an idiot’. Now these aren’t really abuses and all of us have grown up listening to them from our teachers, parents, siblings and friends. But usage of such simple words during an argument can be very hurtful to your partner and can disturb the sanctity of marriage. Instead, take a deep breath until you lose the urge to use such words.

2. Don’t joke at their expense

It’s ok to be funny around your partner in a group of friends or relatives, even crack a joke or two here and there about them. But it is definitely not ok to do it constantly. It is insulting and irritating to the person. Soon the atmosphere is tense because your partner is silently fuming and the people around you begin to wonder what is going on. Not only does it speak volumes about the nature of your relationship but also it says a lot about you as a person.

If you are using your partner’s secret confession and turning it into humour, stop doing it immediately. Your partner has confided something in you with full confidence. It may not seem like a big deal to you but it may be one for them. Turning that into a joke just so it makes you look funny actually makes you look very insensitive and not funny at all.

Read more: “Respect. The heart of a good relationship” – Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
Read more: 7 mistakes that kept me out of a relationship. And out of trouble

3. Don’t make fun of their close ones

When two people are seriously involved, the discussion often leads to talking about your friends, best friends or even relatives. Some people tend to over-share and start making fun of their partner’s close ones. You may have found a thing or two funny or annoying about them but instead of making fun of them, you can discuss about your opinion regarding the relative with your partner and even ask for your partner’s opinion on the same. Who knows may be there is a story there that you don’t know about. Be especially careful while talking about the parents. Parents is a soft spot and saying something hurtful about them can make a permanent rift between the couple.

4. Refrain from giving constant instructions

Remember you fell in love with this person who is different from you in a number of things including upbringing, habits and preferences. Every time you feel like correcting your partner about anything, ask yourself if this is something that needs correction because it needs to be done in the right way or because it needs to be done as per your way. You will be surprised when you will decide to hold your tongue more than half of the times. We all have grown up doing things in a certain way but remember you are now with this whole different entity who may not be doing things your way. This does not necessarily mean their way is wrong. Instead, why not try using their method for once? May be you will find it to be simpler and faster.

5. Don’t revisit old arguments

Couples fight and make up. And then they fight again. But often old fights and arguments are roped in to prove a point. While you may feel like it is highly essential in the heat of the moment, it drags the current fight in an unnecessary direction and instead of getting resolved, matters become worse. Close an argument once resolved and never bring it up again. Make
a pact with your partner to follow this sincerely. This will lead to shorter fights and happier days!

The best way to avoid tiffs is to take a moment before you speak, put yourself in your partner’s shoes before you criticise them and remind yourself that not all human beings are the same before you begin to label them.

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1 comment

Lamia Manohar
Lamia Manohar July 23, 2018 - 10:57 am

poking each other by commenting negatively on each other’s close one is a habit that eventually blooms in with the marital status. I really wish every couple could erase of these silly mistakes from their relationship and live a happier life.

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