Have you had a tiff with your man and don’t know if he still loves you after a fight? So here’s how it went. The argument has taken place and now you can’t seem to reach out to him or understand what’s running through his head. This may leave you perplexed wondering why your guy ignores you after a fight by not answering your calls or replying to your messages. Do you feel frustrated because you can’t understand just why he is ignoring you?
Ignoring someone definitely won’t bring an end to the nasty looks you’re giving each other, but all common sense usually goes out the window the minute the screaming match starts. Even though it may seem distressing to you currently, no contact after arguments is all too common. What’s even more common is wondering if he’s going to leave you because he’s neglecting you so much.
“How do I talk to him about the fight now that he is ignoring me?” “Is it over between us just because we had a nasty fight?” These thoughts may have often crossed your mind when you can’t help but wonder why your guy is ignoring you after a fight. Chances are, there’s usually nothing to worry about, even if he’s shut down after an argument and you two make breakfast and watch the news in utter silence in the mornings. There’s definitely something going on, and we are here to help you get to the bottom of it. Let’s find out a bit more about what it means when a guy ignores you after an argument.
Why Does A Guy Ignore You After A Fight?
Being ignored by the person you love can make someone doubt the future of even the healthiest of relationships. The silent treatment in a relationship hurts a lot more especially when it’s after a nasty argument. Minutes seem like hours and days seem like weeks. A few days of no contact may leave you thinking, “We had a fight and I haven’t heard from him in over three days now. Why doesn’t he care about my feelings?”
Some people don’t talk much in general, and their coping mechanism after a fight usually involves stonewalling their partner. Which, understandably, can become exceedingly tough to deal with. However, it is natural that after a fight, he and you both will need time to calm down, since the emotional turmoil brewing in your heart and mind causes extreme anger toward each other.
It’s probably his need for space that’s making him ignore you after a fight. He may be taking longer to reply to your texts, or simply may not be answering your calls or messages at all. At first, it may seem like he’s busy, but if it’s been a day or so and your beau hasn’t returned your calls, you’re probably going to be biting your fingernails, and we don’t blame you for it.
When a guy gets mad and ignores you, it’s because he has his own stuff going on
What we can tell you though is to not let assumptions like, “Is he going to break up with me?” Or “Is he not bothered about me at all?” hamper your peace of mind. Have you ever thought that your boyfriend might be ignoring you after a fight to ensure that he does not hurt you? Perhaps he’s waiting for the right time to approach you to make things right again. It may not seem like it right now, but no contact after the argument might be good for you.
A lot of hateful words are often said in fits of anger and he wants to avoid saying something he will not be able to take back. He is probably dealing with his own emotions and trying to make sense of the issue at hand before he approaches you and tries to sort things out.
If your guy is ignoring you after a fight, then he could well be processing his own feelings, and sometimes the silent treatment has its benefits. No, he’s not going to leave you right away, and no, he’s not gallivanting out with his buddies running behind other women. Relationship fights will have you both pretty worried about the health of it, but once you’ve cooled down, things tend to get a lot better, if you’re able to practice effective communication, of course.
Related Reading: How To Get His Attention When He Ignores You – 11 Clever Tricks
6 Reasons A Guy Ignores You After A Fight
Once you realize that a sufficient amount of time has passed ever since you two argued and your guy is still ignoring you, you must analyze the situation pretty closely. It’s time that you try to understand the reasoning behind it. If you’re thinking things like “Why is he ignoring me after the argument?” “What went wrong?” and “How can I normalize the situation?”, know that these are completely normal thoughts for anyone to have after a fight.
At times, you may wonder if he is ignoring you for someone else, but that shouldn’t generally be the case. Understanding the reason behind his behavior and his idea of the no contact rule after argument will also give you a better idea of how to approach the situation and mend your relationship with him. To help you develop that understanding, let’s answer the pressing questions that are buzzing in your mind. Here are some reasons why a guy ignores you after a fight:
1. He is completely preoccupied with other commitments
Maybe it’s actually not you and it’s him. Understanding the timing of the fight and silent treatment is crucial. It is possible that your fight coincided with an important work deadline or family commitment and your man simply does not have the time to spend hours texting you or talking to you to resolve your fight.
When he goes silent after an argument, chances are he has extremely pressing commitments to attend to, if that’s what he likes to call gaming with his boys. All jokes aside, it may be possible that he’s just trying to get a handle on all crucial work commitments so that he can get back to texting/calling you with a clear mind. It takes an effort to resolve a fight, and it is possible that he just does not want to do it shabbily.
Your anxious mind may immediately make you assume he’s ignoring you because you messed up but that may not necessarily be the case. You just have to be patient and give him some time without jumping to conclusions, since all that’s going to do is upset you.
2. He needs some time to reflect and observe the current situation
After a major fight, it is obvious that you both will be angry with each other and things might take an ugly turn if you both are not careful. In this context, to avoid the nastiness associated with fights among couples, your husband or boyfriend might think that it is necessary to ignore you to cool down and understand the current circumstances better. At that point, the no contact rule after argument works tremendously.
We received a story where a man shared details of a massive fight he had had with his long-term girlfriend. They were arguing because she had lied about her whereabouts. He was having a low day and wanted to spend some time with her to better his mood but she said there was a family emergency and would not be able to meet him.
To his surprise, he saw pictures of her partying with her friends when she claimed her father was in the hospital. As a result, he blocked her everywhere. The efforts she took to contact him were all fruitless since he was too angry to even hear her out.
He knew that if he spoke to her, he would have used harsh language and called her a liar. After a little more time passed, he claimed he was feeling calmer and felt like he was emotionally ready to listen to her reasoning. Eventually, they were able to talk it out and work those things out.
The tactic of no contact rule after argument might honestly be the approach because he pretty much threw his phone away and went out on a walk. Even though he knows he’s feeling an intense burst of anger he probably shouldn’t, there’s not much else he can do except throw his phone away and try to calm himself down
Related Reading: 8 Ways to Reconnect After a Big Fight
3. When a guy gets mad and ignores you, it’s because you did something to upset him
But that’s still not reason enough to ask and want to know if he still loves you after a fight. He probably does still love you, but he’s just not too happy with you at the moment. No two people can be compatible in every aspect of life. There are bound to be differences amongst a couple and due to this, it is possible to dislike your partner’s habits and actions. Wondering, “My boyfriend is ignoring me, what should I do?” You need to take a step back and reflect on things you said and did during the argument.
Perhaps some of the most common relationship problems are festering between you two, or you unknowingly said something hurtful or behaved in a manner that triggered his existing insecurities. Different people are sensitive about different things and we must be careful of others’ feelings during fights. When a man’s insecurities are brought to the surface, it often hurts him more than anything else because men are never really taught to deal with their feelings.
Instead, they suppress it until they learn to ignore it. By just mentioning something he’s insecure about, you might’ve triggered him. All of this might have now led you to a stage where you’re Googling “My boyfriend hasn’t talked to me in a week after a fight” or something else along the lines of “We had a fight and I haven’t heard from him”. Rest assured, he’ll come around. You might have some explaining to do, though.
4. Maybe he is clueless about the situation
This is the biggest reason that men give when one probes into why they indulge in no contact after argument with girlfriend. Women tend to be more attentive and sensitive to matters and it is possible that your man has not realized the seriousness of the fight. Or he might not know what to do or how to tackle such a situation and therefore is choosing to avoid it altogether in the hopes that it will resolve itself.
Since it won’t actually resolve itself, you’ll need to knock some sense into your man. We know, we know, that’s an impossible thing to do while he’s ignoring you and refusing to talk to you straight. So give him the space he has carved out for himself, but make sure you let him know that’s not the way to deal with any issues. Who knows, when you’re out there saying “We had a fight and he’s ignoring me”, he might not even know you had a serious fight. Yeah, sounds bizarre but it happens more often than you think.
This is often the case when guys do not have prior experience with what to do after a fight. They do not know if they should make the first move or wait for their partner to approach them and talk about the matter. You need to be patient and understanding and set some healthy relationship boundaries in place.
5. The lurking fear of making it worse is the reason for your 3 day relationship break
When a guy ignores you after an argument or even decides to make it a 3 day relationship break by just not reaching out to you, it’s possible he’s afraid of making things worse than they already are. He may not be the most confident in his conflict-resolution abilities, and in hopes of avoiding being blocked on every platform that ever existed, he’s trying to give you time to cool off before he texts you.
His reasoning behind this could be that the issue will only be resolved when you have both had time to reflect on the situation and can collectively sit down and discuss it. He might also have a fear of losing you by saying hurtful things unintentionally and this could be fueling his silent treatment of you.
Hence, no contact after argument with girlfriend doesn’t always mean it’s the end of the world or even the end of a relationship. He’s kind of got a point here, doesn’t he? Only when you two have calmed down will you be better able to deal with this entire situation.
6. The issues/misunderstandings seem trivial to him
Sometimes, you might be fighting over silly matters, and being fully aware of this, your guy may have decided to ignore you. That’s why he is not maintaining contact after an argument. He might just be doing this to try and show you that the issue doesn’t deserve fighting upon, but we all know that’s not going to work out. He probably thinks it is better to keep such trivial matters at bay by ignoring you for the time being.
Usually, this happens because men tend to understate the importance of the little things in a relationship. What to you seemed like a complete act of disrespect, might’ve just seemed like a regular day in the office for him. Relationship fights vary from couple to couple, but when he goes silent after an argument, it’s important to understand why he might be doing so and then eventually communicate better with your partner.
We hope the reasons we listed out help calm you down when you’re saying things like “My boyfriend hasn’t talked to me in a week after a fight!” when it’s really just been a few days. Even so, now that you know his reasons for no contact after arguments, it’s now time to figure out what you need to do going forward. On to the next chapter then!
Related Reading: 9 Signs He Regrets Hurting You
5 Things You Can Do When Your Guy Ignores You After A Fight
Now that you know the ‘why’ and all that goes behind when a guy gets mad and ignores you, it’s now time to figure out the ‘what next’. You need to approach the situation tactfully and ensure that you not only mitigate the fight but also maintain the emotional intimacy in your relationship. Your goal should be to resolve the conflict peacefully while also maintaining the trust and love in your relationship. Below are some tips you can use in situations like these:
1. Have an honest conversation with him
To know if he still loves you after a fight, don’t just sit back and be cross with him because he’s ignoring you. Try to be the bigger person if you can. Be strategic about giving him time to think things over. When you feel like you are both in the right headspace and are willing to discuss the situation like mature adults, initiate an honest conversation.
If you ignore your partner and the fight as well, it will certainly cause problems in your relationship later. You can start by letting him know what you wish you did differently in the fight. You can then let him know how his actions have hurt you instead of being accusatory or blame-shifting.
For example, instead of calling him a liar, you can let him know that you feel like you are not important to him when he lies to you. No matter how small the misunderstanding might be, it is always important to convey your feelings as clearly as you can.
2. Try to accept your fault and apologize, if necessary
If he has shut down after an argument, there’s a good chance it’s because he is expecting a heartfelt apology from your side. Analyze the situation and try to figure out what you might have done wrong. There is no shame in accepting your mistake and apologizing for the same. Instead of thinking about your beau ignoring you after a fight, think of how you can initiate reconciliation.
This will make your partner value your maturity and honesty and will prevent the back and forth of the toxic blame game. By initiating a civil conversation and showing him that you’re not just texting/calling him again to blame him, it’ll make him more open to having a constructive conversation with you. Of course, this does not mean that you apologize for things you didn’t do.
3. Try to rekindle the love with dates and outings
Sometimes it is important to create new happy memories to forget old bad ones. If a guy ignores you after a fight, take this time to initiate plans with him and spend time together. So after an ugly fight, look for ways to plan dates and outings together with your guy to forget about the past fights and enjoy each other’s company to the fullest. When a guy ignores you after a fight, this is the best thing to do.
Rekindling the spark and spicing things up will take both your minds off the fight and the hurt caused by it. Spending quality time with one another is the only thing that will keep the relationship going through these testing times.
4. Do the things he likes, for example cooking his favorite food
When a guy gets mad and ignores you, it’s time for you to make it up to him. Do things for him which will make him happy and will help you both forget about the fight. Cooking food for him, buying his favorite piece of clothing, dressing up, especially for him, or helping him out in any way will make him realize that you are making an effort to mend your relationship.
If a guy ignores you after a fight a compliment would melt him. Vocalizing all that you appreciate about him will also show him how much you care about him and value all that he does for you. So, explore the vegetable market and pick up the stuff he likes. Make a salad to die for and he would only smile, more and more.
Related Reading: 7 Ways Fighting In A Relationship Sustains It
5. Show him the importance he has in your life
If a guy ignores you after a fight, you can choose to not let your ego be hurt and reach out to him daily. Expressing your love without any inhibitions and showing him that he is a top priority will go a long way in mending your relationship after a fight. Eventually, he will realize he has been ignoring you – the one most important person in his life, and he will confront you directly to resolve the matter.
Give him 3 days rule after argument
We cannot highlight the importance of space in a relationship, especially after a huge argument or fight has broken out. Your feelings are all over the place right now which is why you may not necessarily be in the best position to talk and work things out. In that case, we bring to you the 3 day rule to follow after a fight or even popularly known as a 3 day relationship break. Now, now, now, this break does not mean that you have a free pass to ignore your relationship and do what you please. The purpose here is actually the opposite and has to do with putting the right effort into the relationship.
You’re probably still unsure and wondering, “What is the 3 day rule after argument?” Well, here it goes. This rule refers to backing off from the relationship and the fight and using that time on yourself. Whether you use it to paint, to work, or to confide in your mom about the fight, the common denominator here is finding the time and investing energy into processing the fight and the relationship.
How to use the 3 days rule after argument?
How to use the 3 days rule after argument is all about making an effort to find your balance. The more you talk to your partner, the more you will feel like saying things that are “in the moment” to them. This can do more harm to your relationship. But when you take 3 days off to better your sense of what happened, you can get back to your partner with a clearer head. But while you use this time in bettering yourself, do see if he reaches out eventually once the 3rd-day mark has crossed.
The 3 day rule to follow after a fight also helps in determining how much work your boyfriend is ready to put in. So while you both need these 3 days off from each other, if it goes on any longer than that and he doesn’t come back to you, consider that a rule is broken. We’re giving him his space in the relationship, but we are also still testing him.
Lastly, do not lose heart when you notice your boyfriend/husband ignoring you after a fight. Instead, be proactive and try to resolve it. Chances are, the no contact after arguments isn’t as menacing as your anxious mind is making it out to be. He might just be gaming to fight the stress he has, and things will get better soon. Keep fighting, if you truly believe in your relationship!
You let him know how important he is to you in your life. Have an honest conversation with him after things have cooled down, and apologize if you are at fault. If not, let go and cook his favorite meal.
The no contact rule works after a breakup but after an argument, if you don’t keep in touch for some time he could miss you more and realize where he went wrong.
If you sulk, shed tears, and give up eating then he would feel guilty. But manipulative behavior to get what you want is never recommended, instead, have an honest conversation.
When your boyfriend purposely ignores you, you find out why. Maybe he has too much on his mind to go into a conversation or yet another confrontation with you. Find out the reason then deal with it accordingly.