Hope you realize that fights are not always a bad sign. When two people get to know each other over the years or try to adjust to living under the same roof, fights are inevitable. You are bound to have certain disagreements with your partner. Couples fight, they apologize and come to a solution, and move on from the argument. While that’s a completely normal process, fights that happen when you are out of love are of a different kind.
When trust and love fade away, it becomes very difficult to hold a relationship together. It becomes a mere facade in the name of a partnership. There is no way two people can carry on with this act of being a couple and it’s only a matter of time before they drift apart. Every little thing about your partner, like the way they chew their food so loudly or ignore your calls at work, starts to annoy you so much. And the consequence is a series of fights unless one person decides to move out.
So, if you are currently facing the same troubles in your relationship and wondering, “Can you fall out of love from arguing?”, then you are in the right place. We are here to analyze why and how two partners get into meaningless fights when they have outgrown the relationship, and discuss the stages of falling out of love. Keep reading!
Fights that are an indication that you’re falling out of love
You do sometimes follow the signs to know when you love someone. Falling out of love is, however, a painful and confusing experience. When there is hardly anything common between the two of you and you feel no lust anymore, it is time to ponder whether you want to make an attempt to stay in this relationship or it is time for you to move on.
If all those feelings of love, care, and emotional intimacy start to vanish, all you are left with is resentment for each other. Every little fight, silly argument, and misunderstanding that you let go of for the sake of this relationship comes back as a bigger issue.
And you end up picking fights with your partner for no reason at all as you go through the stages of falling out of love. We have listed some of the indications and the fights that you pick with your significant other (SO) when love is no longer an ingredient in your relationship.
Related Reading: 21 Signs You Should Break Up For Good
1. Fighting about the finances
If you have now started keeping a track of expenses you made on them and are deliberately bringing up the topic of how you manage every financial matter, clearly, love has gone missing in the equation. When you’re falling out of love, you start looking at your SO as just another person and consider every penny spent on them as a transactional affair.
The fights could get even uglier when the wife makes more money. It might invite the male ego between the two of you, speeding up the process of separation. Or, you might be someone who has taken care of the home, done his laundry, cooked for him, while he has toiled day and night as well, and now you feel you need to be paid for your services. Clearly, you are falling out of love in a long-term relationship that you initially cherished.
2. Fighting about the past sexcapades
In many cases, if you want a reason to fight and to end it because you’ve had enough, you may start asking them about their sexual encounters with their past partners and about how good they were in comparison to you. You may start picking this fight to be able to say, “Oh, so I am not as good as they were!”
When you are too focused on your spouse’s past and are no longer thinking of your future with them, it could be a signal that you have started falling out of love. And if your partner has ever engaged in an illicit affair and you both were trying to rebuild the relationship after cheating, it will make the fights go way out of proportion.
3. Discussing controversial topics
Fights that happen when you are out of love are dangerous because you are no longer concerned about hurting each other’s feelings. Usually, couples do not like to discuss a few things which are strictly a part of their “own” individual space. On normal days, you don’t cross the boundary or try to pick these issues because they are sensitive and off-limits. But when you are falling out of love in a long-term relationship, you would walk past that line and say hurtful things to your partner.
If you start to bring up those topics, evidently, you’re asking for a fight. For example, if you are asking them about what their folks think of your partnership, or telling your partner how they are not good in bed, it will worsen the situation. Such things are best not discussed in this manner, but when you are looking for opportunities to pick a fight, such controversial topics come to your assistance.
4. Digging out the past arguments
When you are going through the stages of falling out of love, you would always be on the lookout for ammunition to belittle your partner, to find fault in them. You would leave no stones unturned to shift the blame on them for everything that went wrong in your relationship. Suppose, in the past, you have had some major argument about something and now, after several months, you are still clinging to it.
Then it can be said without a shadow of a doubt that you have nothing left to look forward to in your relationship with your partner. Speaking about how they said something nasty to you in the heat of the moment and trying to take revenge for something that happened in the ‘ancient’ past, is a signal that you are contemplating a fight just to find a reason to end it.
Related Reading: 8 Ways To Fight Respectfully With Your Spouse
5. Fighting about the future
If any one of you is trying to talk about the future and the other one is constantly ignoring it or telling them to think only about the present, then this fight is endless. Either you are dating a commitment-phobe or you have noticed some deal-breaking red flags which keep confusing you about moving forward with this person.
Moreover, if you are picking a fight with them about something that is yet to happen, for example, talking about your kids, pets, your in-laws, or anything that is really just a picture in the air, then you are trying to make an excuse to quit the relationship. No matter how much you try, you just cannot see a happy ending to this story.
Can you fall out of love from arguing?
When you and your partner get into silly fights and arguments over a long period of time, it may eventually destroy the loving essence of your relationship. The bitterness that develops between the two of you from such disagreements will set you poles apart. Difference of opinion is one thing – you still have a path open before you to respect each other’s point of view on certain matters. But once the core value of gratitude and appreciation in the relationship is ruined, it’s hard to overcome that phase. So, we hate to be the ones to break it to you when you ask, “Can you fall out of love from arguing?” Yes, it’s a possibility.
Falling out of love is a tough thing, especially when it is one-sided. Picking on petty or unreal things to make the relationship complicated is the basic trait of people who are trying to leave without any blame from the relationship. It is best to let your partner know of your feelings rather than unnecessarily hurting them. A simple and straightforward conversation with your partner will make things easier for both of you and you’ll be able to cut out the drama before your exit.