Married Life

What are the top priorities of a long-term marriage?

Communication, Trust and Mutual Understanding top the list of priorities in a long-term relationship for Bonobology contributor

It’s a super hi-tech world we’re living in today. We’re constantly busy running around: working, taking care of our children, and paying the EMIs. Most of us (including our spouses) have a 9-7 job and our work doesn’t get over when we come home. We reach home after a long day of work, cook dinner, take care of the housework, and raise our children too. Amidst all this there seems to be no time to nurture our marriage.

With today’s high-paced life, placing our marriage as the top priority has never been more crucial.

Related reading: Seven things that keep a relationship going

When do we take out the time to cultivate our marriage and the relationship that we share with our spouse? We continue living our hectic, stressed, unfulfilling and dissatisfying life. Busy dealing with our day-to-day stress we place our marriage as last priority. We set goals for our career, health, finance, but ironically we fail to set goals for our marriage, for the soulmate we met and got married to.

Statistics indicate that almost half of marriages end up in divorce or separation. It is unfortunate to see that most couples don’t give the required amount of nourishment and attention a marriage requires.

This makes Sinjini Sengupta wonder what are the top three priorities  that we need to focus on when we work actively on sustenance and success of domestic relations? Would the list comprise communication, integrity, loyalty, clarity, consensus, financial sync and household duty shares?

Related reading: Communication mistakes couples make

Sukanya feels that communication, loyalty and sharing of responsibilities like domestic chores, children, finances and parents must be the top priorities. Barnali Roy also feels that mutual respect, trust and communication are the top three prerequisites in a long-term marriage.

Love, care, respect and teamwork are all equally important, feels Shweta Parihar, whereas Shipra Pande says that the three Cs – Commitment, Communication and Compassion can help lead a happy married life. Dipannita feels that apart from communication, consensus and shared parenting are equally important.

DrSanjeevTrivedi is of the opinion that financial success, life discipline and mutual respect are more important than anything else.

Understanding, communication and friendship should top the list of priorities in any relationship, argues Rishav Ray. Vaishali Chandorkar Chitale, on the other hand, feels that having trust, sharing vibes with your partner and mutual respect is far more important than anything else.

agree to disagree
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Ronak brilliantly jots down that dealing with conflict in a relationship is very important. “If you grow old with your life mate, knowing that in each other’s warm embrace you have found Home,” he feels. Marriage is about collaboration between two people with no place for competition or trying to impose upon. So “understanding, collaboration and complimenting each other well” are the ingredients for a long-term happy marriage according to ArchanaSharma.

Understanding, love and loyalty are very important according to Gaurangi Patel. In contrast,Jamuna Rangachari feels that “We need to keep working on retaining love in our relationship. Automatically, traits like loyalty, integrity and sharing join in when there is love.”

married life

Communication, loyalty and sharing household duties are very essential for Bhavita Patel, whileRaul Sodat Najwa stresses that communication, loyalty and integrity need to be the top three priorities. Arushi chaudhary goes the Bollywood way and says that friendship, love and laughter are the essentials. Shifa agrees with Arushi and says that apart from friendship, trust and loads of patience is what is needed for a long-term marriage.

Whatever be the top priorities for us, the most important thing is to not let the resentment build up. Talk about the issues right away or soon. Another necessary point is to take the torch when the other is down or out. And all said and done, as the saying goes, the most successful marriages, gay or straight, even if they begin in romantic love, often become friendships. It’s the ones that become the friendships that last the longest.

These 9 rules for a happy marriage will make you go “That’s it?”

Here are the 10 personal commandments of our marriage

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