When it comes to fandoms, the most famous one is of Star Wars. Millions of people adore this 45-year-old franchise, which is George Lucas’s legacy, and among them, is your significant other too. And I bet my bottom dollar that they can’t shut up about how AMAZING Star Wars is!
Whenever they get a chance to talk about Star Wars, they do. The slightest reference to Star Wars sets them off. They start talking about it with no warning and start dissecting it, and you sitting beside them think, “Oh God, why is this happening to me again! ARGHHH.” You may even hate the fact that they give so much importance to something which is non-existent. You feel like Padme (Natalie Portman) who is distant from his partner, the young Jedi Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), and would want to use the force to knock some sense into them. Or you want to change the topic so you feel included too.
It Comes Like Millennium Falcon
When the month of May comes around, your partner, who is a Star Wars fan, gets all riled up and starts talking about the movies more frequently than they usually do. This would make the relationship just like the one between Han Solo and Princess Leia when it started. Han was trying to impress a woman, who is the amazing Leia but to her, he was just pathetic. Now, would you want your partner to think that way about you?
You may love something, and that something might be amazing, but one should not ever overdo it and make your partner feel uncomfortable or less included. Just as Anakin did when he was consumed by the dark side of the force. Now, let’s talk about what it is like for a non-fan to date a Star Wars fan, and what they can do about it.
Let them be their own person even if it is a bit out of ‘normal’
When you go out with your partner, do they wear Star Wars t-shirts or have something of Star Wars on their person? You might wonder why they have to do this when they are out with you, or why they can’t act like a ‘normal’ human being. Sometimes, you want them to be your definition of normal as you cannot accept that you are dating a man child or a person who is obsessed with films that, in your mind, are meant for children. You even taunt them or get angry at them for being like this in public because you think it somehow humiliates you (even though it has nothing to do with you).
If it does humiliate you, then you should introspect why you feel so strongly about it, talk to your partner, and figure things out like adults. You need to respect your partner’s love for the franchise which obviously makes them feel happy and at peace, and your partner needs to understand your point of view too. You both need to find a middle path.
Choosing gifts for them is super easy
One of the best things about having a partner who is a Star Wars fan is that you can always give them any of its memorabilia or go to any convention with them to make them happy. Remember, there might be a deeper reason for your partner to like Star Wars because there is some part of the movies which they connect with deeply, and which is special to them.
Or something happened to them in the past and Star Wars somehow helped them to distract themselves through the situation. The franchise may even have helped them grow into a better person. Try to see which values of the franchise they associate with, it’ll help with choosing gifts for them too.
Let go of arrogance
Don’t try to become Princess Leia and be arrogant to the point of ignoring your partner just because they have a different choice than yours in some things. This could hurt them which can lead to a possible and major relationship argument that neither of you wants. You both have feelings for each other, and you would not want to jeopardize your relationship because of such a small thing. You have to keep a check on your ego in a healthy relationship. Fun and harmless sarcasm are still okay though.
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Discuss the movies with your partner
You can talk to your partner about why they are so fascinated with the movies, and the conversation might surprise you or it would go straight over your head. But at least trying is one of the things you could do for them, whether you like Star Wars or not. Maybe after doing all this, you can participate in the conversations your partner has with their friends and you would feel included. This is one of the ways of ensuring you respect each other’s preferences and have a healthy relationship.
Have your own perspective
You may hear from people that liking different movies is a huge deal and that having a hardcore fandom for a franchise is unusual. But don’t let that hamper your relationship. Don’t let it affect you to such a degree that you judge your partner. Think for yourself.
I just want to end this by saying, “May the force be with YOU”, and that if you’ve been single for a while and reading this, may you get your Princess Leia or Han Solo soon. And I hope that you don’t turn into Darth Vader or go into the dark side.