What is it like to find a partner through matrimonial websites?

In the last two decades, a significant change has been observed in Indian matrimonial alliances. You might have observed that the middleman who fixed many marriages in your locality has slowly run out of business. Also, the family matchmaking aunty, the local temple priest, the astrologer, or any such third party are no longer consulted while fixing marriages. Parents neither spread the ‘word’ around nor do they spend days in bride viewing. Then how are Indian marriages being fixed? Enter the latest trend in the matchmaking industry, yet another marvel of technology and the Internet – Matrimonial Websites.

In case you’re wondering, finding a partner through matrimonial websites is no different from traditional alliances. They are only a revamped version; faster and economical.

If you’re a millennial, then by now you must be living life on your own terms. And your parents, who are proud of you, must be immensely supportive. And owing to the current scenario, a huge commitment like marriage you feel ought to be well-considered by you as well your parents – this shift in mind-set is exactly the foundation on which matrimonial websites have been built and grown over the years.

In case you’re wondering, finding a partner through matrimonial websites is no different from traditional alliances. They are only a revamped version; faster and economical. Instead of talking in your living room, you chat on virtual screens. The old and the young, both are resorting to matrimonial websites these days, because they uphold traditional and modern values. While parents get the option of matching the ‘kundli’ or horoscope, children get the pleasure of dating before (as opposed to traditional arranged marriage systems).

Do you see a mutual benefit here? A new system of a matrimonial alliance of its own – the system of Love cum Arranged Marriage; where children get a chance in dating and choosing their partners, and parents, the satisfaction of sealing a union.

However, for those who are still adapting to this social change, a lingering question is – do matrimonial websites really work?

Do matrimonial websites really work?

Matrimonial websites, like conventional matchmakers, are only a medium, not a fool proof end. The result always lies in the mutual understanding and compatibility of the two communicating parties.

Nevertheless, let us take a look at a few pros of matrimonial websites:

• Regional, national and global appeal. You can now find a partner from any corner of your state, country or the world sitting in your home. How cool is that?
• Zero compromises on preferences. You should be happy to note that your preferences are prioritised by the websites. They cater to all your specific and general needs. For Muslims there’s MuslimMatrimony.com and for Hindus, HinduMatrimony.com. If you’re a divorcee, then wmmatrimonial.com gives you a second chance at finding love. Elitevivaah.com offers diligent services to the Indian upper-class elite
• An enormous database of profiles. Time is of the essence. While you carry on with your daily life, these websites do the task of scouring through their extensive database and bringing hundreds of matching profiles for you
• The pleasure of dating. They provide the option of getting to know a person for real before taking the next step. This is an authentic touch

Lastly, a great indicator of any successful venture is the number of success stories surrounding it. Couples who have found their love or soul-mates through matrimonial websites are sharing their stories and the numbers are only increasing. All matrimony websites showcase their happy unions.

Moving to the cons of matrimonial websites

• Fraudulent profiles: One of the growing concerns of these websites is the fake profiles and flirts who register merely for the sake of fun. In spite of their many layers of verification, this remains a glitch
• Greater chances of deception: Although the websites go through a great length of trouble to obtain very specific information about you, starting from your diet to your horoscope, it is very easy to lie to impress others. Also, since the people you get to know are strangers, it is difficult to determine the background of the candidates
• Paid memberships: Traditional matchmaking involved no financial cost, the efforts being done by the word-of-mouth, but many prominent matrimonial sites are persistent in demanding a paid membership. This leads to repeated calls and harassment at times
• Time-consuming: That’s true. The larger the scope of profiles, the greedier it makes you in finding ‘the best partner’. This often results in confusion, meaningless conversations and delay in coming to a conclusion

Therefore, while there is no harm in trying out a matrimonial website, its success depends on several factors.

How does one find a partner on a matrimonial website?

So, supposedly, you are considering trying out a matrimonial website. So far, you’ve not been so lucky in finding a date in your college life, at the office, in late night parties or even with the help of your friends and relatives. There’s no harm in giving oneself a chance in finding love online, right?

But here are a few tips before finding your perfect partner online.

1. Pick the right website: A good matrimonial website will provide you with the best of services. Hence make sure you find a credible one
2. Be serious: If you want to find love, then you must be really looking for it. And once you are determined, filter the flirts. You can always do a background check on the profiles by looking them up on their social media handles
3. Be open to rejection and meeting up an entirely different person: Every person has a set of flaws and perfections, their own set of values and interests. So never be too quick to judge. Take your time in dating and try to know them genuinely
4. Don’t open too much: Never reveal too much personal information before you know them well. There are all sorts of crazy people on the Internet out there!
5. Be yourself: Being the real you is always the best way of finding a good partner. Don’t try to be someone else just to impress. Do not fake your preferences and personal information. The information provided by you plays a pivotal role in the search mechanism used by the websites in finding you the right matches

How do matrimonial websites work?

Matrimonial websites run on a very simple mechanism. Any person with the basics of computer and Internet knowledge can enjoy the benefits. Every matrimony website follows these simple steps.

1. Step 1. Registration: Once you pick a matrimonial website of your choice, say, for example, Shaadi.com or jeevansathi.com, they ask you for an online registration. The website asks for your personal information, bride/groom preferences, educational qualification, economic status, cast and class, diet (veg or non-veg), religion, personal values, complexion and other relevant information. You then create a username and password to secure the information. You are then placed in the colossal database of the website
2. Step 2. Membership Selection: Although many websites provide free membership, to avail the best services, you must select a plan or package depending on your budget. They provide suitable payment options
3. Step 3. Bride/Groom Search: Once you successfully register with a website, they allow you to customise your search according to your taste. You can search bride/groom according to their occupation, location or caste and class, physical appeal – whatever you wish for
4. Step 4. Recommendation: The websites use matchmaking algorithms to scan profiles from their database that other users with similar interests have interacted with or profiles that look for preferences that match the description of your profile. They come up with multiple recommendations. And once you start interacting with a profile, the algorithm adapts to your selected profiles and in the future suggests similar candidates
5. Step 5. Communication: Once you find a suitable bride/groom, you can contact them. And if they show interest, you can carry on the conversation through chats. Once the communication levels up, you can also contact each other to set up a meeting. All the websites take great care to protect your conversations and your chat history

Some websites take a personal effort in finding suitable candidates for you and set up reminders for follow-up and setting up meetings. This ensures that you can continue with your life and relax, while the online matchmakers play Cupid for you.

You can discontinue using a website anytime and always look for better options elsewhere.

Whether to opt or not to opt for a matrimonial website is your personal decision. If you peruse through the matrimonial stories on the Internet, you’ll get mixed views and opinions about finding a marriage partner online. There are happy endings and sad endings. But that’s the case in the traditional method too.
There’s no knowing for certain how an interested bride/groom will turn out until the end.

As the saying goes – love can be found if you’re willing to be found by love. The place is never an issue, it’s the person. Be it the real world or the virtual world, if you find a person who shares similar tastes, who loves and respects you and your family, who is willing to sacrifice and hold on, then you tie the knot.

And yes, such a person can either be the girl/guy you meet at a family function or the latest profile recommendation in your matrimonial website. You never know!