An arranged marriage in India is a serious proposition because you have to look into a number of things. Even though it’s technically like a first date, meeting your potential life partner on an arranged marriage date is a more serious one. For starters, both your families are eagerly waiting to know if you think he is ‘the one’. So unlike a usual first date, you need to ask some really meaningful questions to the man you are meeting. Here are our tips for that arranged marriage meeting.
Bollywood looks at arranged marriages in films like Dum Laga Ke Haisha, Roja, Socha Na Tha or Tanu Weds Manu. It shows Indian marriage traditions or how love happens after it is arranged. Whatever it may be you have to keep some things in your mind and know what questions to ask before an arranged marriage.
If you are having an arranged marriage in India these are the 10 must-ask questions to the future groom
1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I know it sounds like you are taking his job interview, but it’s such a vital question that you shouldn’t skip it. In fact this should be the first arranged marriage question for couples. His personal and professional goals for the next 5 years will give you an idea about where his priorities lie and whether it’s aligned with your own expectations from life.
2. Would you like to pursue any hobby, if you had more time?
Questions about hobbies can sound straight out of Sooraj Barjatya movies, but a person’s interest in things other than his career says a great deal about what they are like from inside and whether you find those things interesting as well. This can be actually a girl-boy question for an arranged marriage. A girl’s hobbies say a lot about her too.
Even if he is not actively involved in any hobby ask him what are the things he wants to learn or get better at, if he had the time.
3. What do you like to do on days when you are not working?
May be he prefers to read, watch movies or catch up with friends – what he likes to do on days to get out of boredom gives you a chance to find out if you have any common interest.
If he is a book worm and you like to socialise a lot, spending a life together could become a hard job.
4. Do you like to travel?
If you are a traveller by heart and your potential spouse gets homesick pretty fast, then you are in for an imbalanced marriage and vice versa. So even though the question seems random, do ask.
5. What do you like to drink?
I mean alcoholic beverages. This is a vital question you should ask a boy before marriage. If you enjoy your occasional wine and vodka you must find out what’s his take on alcoholic drinks.
It’s easier to ask this question if you are meeting for a dinner date where the bar is open. Just hand him the menu and ask ‘Would you like to order anything to drink?’
Could be he wouldn’t because he is not sure how you will take it. Ask him the question then. You can also find out his perspective on women drinking.
6. Tell me about your closest friends
Knowing a little bit about his closest friends will give you an idea what kind of company he likes to surround himself with. This is especially important if you are going for an arranged marriage in India because the people he hangs out with will tell you a lot about him.
7. Who are you closest to, in your family?
It’s very important to ask. He could be closest to his mother or siblings, granny or a cousin. By asking this you know who has the most influence on him, who he confides in and who his lifelines are.
8. Do you like kids?
Well, it’s an arranged marriage date, so bringing up kids is not just okay, but very much necessary.
If you like to have kids in future and he likes them from a distance or vice versa, you know this union is a complete no-no.
9. What does your day’s routine look like?
His everyday routine will tell you about his work timings, when he likes to wake up and go to sleep, around what time he likes to have his meal etc. Knowing these will help you understand where you will fit into this routine. There are advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriage in India. But these questions will help you work on the advantages.
10. Is there anything you are never going to compromise on?
Last but not the least, asking this question will let you know a great deal about his principles and values. Whether its loyalty or honesty, his answer will give you a good knowledge about the ground rules for future and save you from many future setbacks.
There is one more arranged marriage question which is specific for India. Whether he wants to live with his parents or set up a new home after marriage?
With each of his answers, you can evaluate whether you should take things forward with him or not. So take your time, and don’t rush into knowing all about him on day one itself.
There is always a love marriage vs arranged marriage debate in India. But our advice is even if its a love marriage do know the answers to the above questions before you tie the knot. It will only help.