10 Questions Every Girl Should Ask a Boy Before an Arranged Marriage

Team Bonobology
Ayushman and bhumi in shubh mangal savdhan which talks about arranged marriage in India

An arranged marriage in India is a serious proposition because it’s a marriage arranged by two families keeping in mind the financial, caste and educational parity. Even though an arranged marriage meeting is technically like a first date, meeting your potential life partner on an arranged marriage date is a more serious one. For starters, both your families are eagerly waiting to know if you think he is ‘the one’. So unlike a usual first date, you need to ask some meaningful arrange marriage questions to the man you are meeting. But here is the problem – what questions to ask a boy in an arranged marriage? Here are our tips for that arranged marriage meeting and questions you can ask your prospective groom.

Bollywood looks at arranged marriages in films like Dum Laga Ke Haisha, Roja, Socha Na Tha or Tanu Weds Manu. It shows Indian marriage traditions or how love happens after it is arranged. Whatever it maybe you have to keep some things in your mind and know what questions to ask before an arranged marriage.

Related Reading: Arranged Marriage Stories: At 19 I Hated Him, At 36 I Am Madly In Love With Him

10 Questions To The Future Groom In An Arranged Marriage

Well, all of us do ask some very common questions like how are you, what you do etc. which set the tone for a conversation. But here, you are talking of spending a whole lifetime with one person, you sure need to ask some relevant and crucial questions because this is all you have to commit to this relationship. These arranged marriage questions are your only window to know the guy better. You can understand his mindset, his value system, his basic character and if he is fun-loving or too serious when you ask him these questions before your arranged marriage. If you are wondering what questions to ask a boy in an arranged marriage here are our tips. These questions would help you understand the person at the very first meeting.

1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

This is a very important arranged marriage question. I know it sounds like you are taking his job interview, but it’s such a vital question that you shouldn’t skip it. This should be the first arranged marriage question for couples. His personal and professional goals for the next 5 years will give you an idea about where his priorities lie and whether it’s aligned with your expectations from life.   

This question will also help you to understand how much he is sorted in his head. In the sense whether he has set any goals and how he wants to pursue those in future. You would get to know if he is driven or laid back. This is why we have put this arranged marriage question at No. 1.

2. Would you like to pursue any hobby, if you had more time?

Questions about hobbies can sound straight out of Sooraj Barjatya movies, but a person’s interest in things other than his career says a great deal about what they are like from inside and whether you find those things interesting as well. This can be a girl-boy question for an arranged marriage. A girl’s hobbies say a lot about her too.

Even if he is not actively involved in any hobby ask him what are the things he wants to learn or get better at, if he had the time.

Find out if he wants to learn the guitar or play golf later on in life. Through this arranged marriage question you would get to know about his aspirations and interests. You can ask him about his childhood hobbies which he might not have been able to pursue later in life because of studies and job pressure. This could also give you a peek into the person he is.

3. What do you like to do on days when you are not working?

If you are wondering what question to ask in an arranged marriage this could be the one. It will help you understand what he is beyond his work and education. Maybe he prefers to read, watch movies or catch up with friends – what he likes to do on days to get out of boredom gives you a chance to find out if you have any common interests.

If he is a book worm and you like to socialise a lot, spending a life together could become a hard job.

The answer to this arranged marriage question could help you decide if you are compatible at all.

4. Do you like to travel?

If you are thinking about what question to ask a boy in an arranged marriage then this is it. If you are a traveller by heart and your potential spouse gets homesick pretty fast, then you are in for an imbalanced marriage and vice versa. So even though the question seems random, do ask. If you ask this question in an arranged marriage then you will know if you can make those travel plans together or not.

Some men do hate to travel and are really not interested in carrying bags and baggage just to see new places and if you are a traveller at heart then you should ask him if he is okay if you travel in a girl gang. If he shifts in his seat and looks at the ceiling then you know what to do and if he spontaneously says that’s a great idea you have a wonderful man there.

The film Tanu weds Manu is a wonderful take on arranged marriage in India

A still from Tanu Weds Manu Image Source

5. What do you like to drink?

I mean alcoholic beverages. This is a vital question you should ask a boy before marriage. If you enjoy your occasional wine and vodka you must find out what’s his take on alcoholic drinks.

It’s easier to ask this question if you are meeting for a dinner date where the bar is open. Just hand him the menu and ask ‘Would you like to order anything to drink?’

Could be he wouldn’t because he is not sure how you will take it. Ask him the question then. You can also find out his perspective on women drinking. Even if you don’t drink, his perspective would tell a lot about the kind of person he is.

6. Tell me about your closest friends

Knowing a little bit about his closest friends will give you an idea of what kind of company he likes to surround himself with. This is especially important if you are going for an arranged marriage in India because the people he hangs out with will tell you a lot about him. Later on, run a check on these friends on social media. Pictures tell a 1000 words usually.

Related Reading: 8 Arranged Marriage Facts You Did Not Know About

7. Who are you closest to, in your family?

It’s very important to ask. He could be closest to his mother or siblings, granny or a cousin. By asking this you know who has the most influence on him, who he confides in and who his lifelines are. These arranged marriage question will help you determine if you have to tackle a mamma’s boy or you have a man here who is attached to his family but at the same time independent enough to make his own decisions.

hum dil de chuke sanam is a film that shows arranged marriage in India

Arranged marriage is shown wonderfully in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam  source

8. Do you like kids?

Well, it’s an arranged marriage date, so bringing up kids is not just okay, but very much necessary.

If you like to have kids in future and he likes them from a distance or vice versa, you know this union is a complete no-no.

But if he wants kids then you have to ask him does he expect you to get pregnant just after marriage or he is more than happy to wait for a few years. True, it’s too much of an intimate question to ask at an arranged marriage meeting but you will get an idea what to expect when you get married to him.

9. What does your day’s routine look like?

His everyday routine will tell you about his work timings, when he likes to wake up and go to sleep, around what time he likes to have his meal etc. Knowing these will help you understand where you will fit into this routine. There are advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriage in India. But these questions will help you work on the advantages.

10. Is there anything you are never going to compromise on?

Last but not least, asking this question will let you know a great deal about his principles and values. Whether its loyalty or honesty, his answer will give you a good knowledge about the ground rules for the future and save you from any future setbacks.

There is one more arranged marriage question which is specific for India. Whether he wants to live with his parents or set up a new home after marriage?

With each of his answers, you can evaluate whether you should take things forward with him or not. So take your time, and don’t rush into knowing all about him on day one itself.

There is always a love marriage vs arranged marriage debate in India. But our advice is even if its a love marriage do know the answers to the above questions before you tie the knot. It will only help.

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