The benefits of love marriage over arranged marriage are countless. If marriage is the backbone of togetherness between two people, love is the lifeblood that sustains that bond. Even so, the concept of arranged marriages continues to find space in the Indian societal fabric to date. While it is difficult to pinpoint an exact statistic, research suggests that over 85% of Indian marriages are arranged or love-cum-arranged. That leaves us with a small percentage reserved for love marriages.
There is no dearth of families, especially in the hinterland, where arranged marriages are a non-negotiable norm. And so we have scores of people sacrificing their love relationships at the altar of family reputations and several more who have to pay with their life for following their hearts. But what makes a love marriage better than arranged marriage?
In the 21st century, when a vast majority of our youth doesn’t even care for the sanctity of matrimonial bliss, the whole debate of ‘arranged marriages or love marriages’ makes for a curious case. Examining the advantages of a love marriage can go a long way in clearing things up.
The Top 7 Benefits Of Love Marriage
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If you’re at that stage in your life where the pressure of ‘settling down’ begins to mount from every conceivable corner, it is only natural that you’ll find yourself weighing the pros and cons of arranged marriage or love marriage at some point. This comparative analysis will occupy your thoughts, irrespective of your relationship status and future plans.
Allow us to resolve a few queries with these answers. The question of the hour is, ‘what makes love marriage better than arranged marriage?’ We’ve curated this list of the 7 benefits of love marriage. You’ll see why people opt for them over an arranged setting. Without further ado, let’s dive right into the different facets of marriage out of love.
1. You truly know your future life partner
‘Till death do us part’ – that’s the idea behind marriage. Two people come together to share their life with each other. Doesn’t it make sense then to embark on this decades-long journey with someone you know inside-out and share a deep connection with? And being aware of your future spouse’s strengths and weaknesses is integral for a happy marriage. There is more acceptance in a marriage out of love. This sense of familiarity is nearly absent in the case of an arranged union.
Even with the trend of semi-arranged marriages catching on – you know, where the guy and girl connect on a matrimonial site and involve the families only if they hit it off with each other – the chances of knowing the real personality of your potential life partner are abysmally low. Since both of you will be putting your best foot forward to ‘seal the deal’.
This is one of the most important advantages of a love marriage. You won’t be marrying a stranger with the hope that your first impression of them is true. A marriage shouldn’t be based on potential or assumptions.
Related Reading: 6 Facts That Sum Up The Purpose Of Marriage
2. There is no awkwardness in intimacy – Pros of love marriage
One of the greatest benefits of love marriages is that you are way past the getting to know each other phase. There will be no awkwardness when you’re trying to get intimate after the wedding. We all remember the cringe-worthy portrayal of suhaag raat in the movies from the 80s and 90s.
Do you really want the consummation of your marriage to play out on those lines? Well, that’s a risk you run in the case of arranged marriages. First of all, a lot of couples in an arranged match do not go all the way and indulge in pre-marital sex for the fear of being judged. This can lead to a lot of awkwardness between a couple when they have to share a bed and get intimate with someone because they’re socially obligated to.
Even those who take that plunge may find themselves in a tight spot if they end up sexually disappointed. Now that families are involved and the word is out, it becomes hard to call off a wedding just because the sex wasn’t good. And sexual compatibility plays a key role in a relationship.
In all likelihood, anyone in this position would go along with the wedding, hoping like hell that the sexual chemistry would improve eventually. This most definitely isn’t a concern in the case of love marriage. You have been there, done it all, and most importantly, are comfortable in being with your partner in an intimate setting. That’s why in the ‘arranged marriages or love marriages’ debate, our vote is for the latter.
3. There is no resentment toward your family in a marriage out of love
If you do go ahead with an arranged marriage and are dealt a bad hand, you will (on some level at least) resent your family for the alliance. These feelings can be pronounced if a person agreed to the match due to mounting family pressure. After her divorce, my second cousin refused to set foot in her parents’ home. I believe she was angrier at them than her ex-husband. How could they have made such a bad decision for her?
In the case of love marriages, on the other hand, you know no matter how things play out to be, the buck stops at you. You’re in the driver’s seat, charting the course of your life, living with the consequences of your choices – and that’s exactly how every adult should live. A marriage out of love is a conscious choice made by a person who’s in control of their life. There is no scope for blaming others. Among all the pros of love marriage, this one matters the most in the long run.
4. What’s one of the best advantages of love marriage? There are no unrealistic expectations
In a love marriage, you know your partner well and are privy to the highs and lows of their personal and professional journey so far. This also means that you know of each other’s financial limitations and are comfortable with them. In this case, the chances of an abrupt demand or unrealistic expectations are minimal. You won’t expect your partner to spend a bomb on the honeymoon or buy a penthouse for you to move into when you know it is beyond their means.
With transparency lacking in the case of arranged marriages and the tendency for people to exaggerate their prowess for the sake of making an impression, such demands and expectations can become a sore spot in the relationship. This can also lead to long-term issues with fights becoming more important than the marriage.
And financial security is a key aspect of arranged matches with most families looking for a ‘well-settled’ groom or bride. Lavish weddings and a comfortable (if not luxurious) lifestyle are often expected. Love marriages are better because of the transparency between individuals. Isn’t this a key to successful unions?
5. Love marriage is better because there’s no need for an extravaganza
The ‘big fat Indian wedding’ is a testament to how parents spread themselves thin financially because of the idea that a lavish wedding would please their child’s future in-laws, and thus, keep the marital ship from hitting rocky waters.
They do this despite there being no guarantee that overspending on a wedding can buy happiness in a marriage. One of the benefits of love marriage over arranged marriage is that there is no need to go all out and throw a wedding to prove to the world that you like each other. In a love marriage, you don’t need anyone’s approval. (Still wondering about the advantages of love marriage?)
In the case of arranged marriages, extravagant weddings are a foregone conclusion. With love marriage, you and your partner can put your foot down and put a stop to this waste of resources. You could even pay for the wedding if you’re both on the same page. If you’re the practical kind, you have your answer to ‘which kind of marriage should I have?’ right here.
Related Reading: How Long Does It Take to Fall In Love in an Arranged Marriage?
6. Fighting the social evil of dowry – what makes love marriage better than arranged marriage
How can a self-respecting man accept money and freebies from his wife’s family, and how can a self-respecting woman share her life with someone who does?! The fact that even in this time and age, people not only unabashedly give and take dowry, but women are also tortured and killed for it, is reason enough to concede that a love marriage is better than an arranged marriage.
The benefits of love marriage are such that the couple can take a strong stance against this outdated social ill because their relationship rests on mutual respect and understanding. In arranged marriages, the likelihood of such an attempt coming to fruition is next to impossible because societal pressure overrules individual opinions. One of the biggest advantages of a love marriage is the independence people get while making decisions.
7. What are the pros of love marriage? A sense of camaraderie
A couple that has been in a relationship before tying the knot builds their marriage on the foundation of camaraderie, which goes a long way in making a home a happy place. Love, attraction, sex and passion are all very well, and important components of a romantic relationship, but it is this sense of friendship and bonhomie that sees a couple through those rough patches and low phases of life.
This is something that is hard to come by in an arranged marriage, especially in the beginning. By the time you become your spouses’ friend, a lot of water has flown under the bridge. This can result in resentment and emotional baggage. Even if such a marriage survives, it’ll be an unhappy one.
Love marriage is better because it’s got strong foundations of friendship. As Ann Landers wisely said, “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” The advantages of love marriage make for a long list…
So, is love marriage successful or arranged marriage? The writing is on the wall, we have given you more than enough benefits of love marriage over arranged marriage, and how the decision lies in your hands. After all, there is no better reason to get married other than spending the rest of your life with the person you love and respect.
Love marriage all the way! If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone your parents picked for you, then you have to be really lucky in getting the boy of your dreams.
The pros of arranged marriage are that your family will be content with your decision, but the disadvantages include dowry, a big fat Indian wedding you didn’t ask for, and spending the rest of your life with someone you may not be attracted to.
Every person has their own preferred time and age to get married, but ideally, 24-30 is the best age.