I did an unusual thing for my birthday this month. I invited a ghost from the past to my birthday. It was none other than my ex, with whom I had had a falling-out with a few years ago. Initially, my idea was met with resistance from my well-meaning friends who felt my decision would make me appear weak. Some said, “Do you want to be the one initiating reconciliation when it was clearly his fault?”
This is exactly where I felt I must have gone wrong a few years back. The minute I had decided the other person was at fault, I was not willing to be the one to make the first move to bury the hatchet. Isn’t it more important to be happy than to be right? Why did I need to win when arguing? Because ultimately when a bond breaks, both lose.
When I had a falling-out with my ex, I noticed it was easier for the mind to cling on to the bitter experiences while the good memories were getting selectively deleted from that biased archive vault within the brain. That is how fickle human nature is. The 10 good things that my ex may have done for me were being overshadowed by the three hurtful things that became larger and more powerful in my memory.