Ukuba namasu aqinile okuxazulula izingxabano kubalulekile ekusindeni kwanoma yibuphi ubudlelwano obuzibophezele besikhathi eside. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi lapho abantu ababili abanemibono, ubuntu nemibono ehlukene behlangana, nakanjani kuzoba nokungqubuzana. Ukungahlonyiselwe ukusingatha lo mehluko kungenza ukungqubuzana kobudlelwane kungapheli.
Uma lokho sekwenzekile, izinto zingahle zisheshe, zilethe ubuhlobo benu onqenqemeni. Sekushiwo lokho, ukungqubuzana ngokwakho akuyona into embi, inqobo nje uma bobabili abalingani bezimisele ukwenza umsebenzi wokukulungisa. Enye yezingxabano zobudlelwano izingcaphuno zesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika uDkt. Julier Gottman ikufingqa kangcono, "Ukungqubuzana kuyithuba lokufunda ukuthanda ozakwethu kangcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi."
Ake sizame ukunquma izindlela zokungqubuzana kobudlelwano kanye namasu okuxazulula izinkinga ukuze sikusize wamukele lesi sici esingathandeki kodwa esingenakugwenywa sokuba ndawonye, ngokuqonda okuvela kumeluleki kanye nomqeqeshi wempilo oqinisekisiwe uDkt. Neelu Khanna , ogxile ekubhekaneni nezinkinga ezihlobene nezidingo zomzwelo kanye nezingxabano zokuziphatha kwabantu, ukungezwani emshadweni kanye nemindeni engasebenzi kahle.
Yini Edala Ukungqubuzana Ebudlelwaneni?
Okuqukethwe
Ukungqubuzana kobudlelwane kungabangelwa izici ezihlukahlukene. Ekuqaleni, zonke izinhlobo zokungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni bothando zingabonakala zifana. Bobabili ozakwethu bazithola besezinhlangothini eziphambene zodaba futhi bangase bakuthole kunzima ukuvala lelo gebe. Kungakho kungaba inselele ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni lapho bobabili bezizwa beqinile.
Kodwa-ke, uma ubhekisisa kunezinhlobo ezahlukene zokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni, ngayinye inesethi yayo yezimbangela nezizathu. Ngaphambi kokuba uhlole amasu okuxazulula izingxabano ebuhlotsheni, kubalulekile ukuthola umnyombo wenkinga. NgokukaDkt. Khanna, okulandelayo yizimbangela eziyisi-6 ezivame kakhulu zokungqubuzana phakathi kwemibhangqwana:
1. Ubugovu yimbangela eyinhloko yokungqubuzana kobudlelwane
“Uma uhlola ukuthi yini ebangela ukungezwani kobudlelwano , ubugovu buzovela njengenye yezinto ezibangela kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, abantu bagxila kakhulu ezidingweni zabo nasezifisweni zabo kangangokuthi bayakhohlwa ukubona ukuthi lokhu kubathinta kanjani abalingani babo,” kusho uDkt. Khanna.
Ukungqubuzana kungase kuphakame phakathi kwabashadile lapho omunye umlingani ehluleka ukufaka omunye ezinqumweni ezibalulekile zempilo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungumuntu onobugovu ebudlelwaneni noma umlingani wakho, ukuthambekela kokuhlala ubeke izidingo zakho ngaphambi kwe-SO yakho noma ubudlelwano kungadala uqhekeko ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Kungakhathalekile ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka ungaqondile noma ngamabomu, kuba nomthelela empilweni yobudlelwano. Nakuba ukuzivikela kudingekile, ukungakwazi ukubeka phambili ubudlelwano bakho noma ungalokothi ubeke izidingo zomlingani wakho ngaphambi kwezakho kungenye yezibonelo zakudala zokungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni.
2. Amakhono okuxhumana angalungile angakhulisa ukuhlukana
Izinkinga zokuxhumana phakathi kwemibhangqwana zivame kakhulu. Lapho kuqala ukuqhosha, imizwa engaxazululwa kanye nezinkinga zesikhathi esidlule, ikhono lokuveza indlela ozizwa ngayo ngempela liqala ukuhlupheka. “Ukukhulumisana okubi akukhona nje kuphela ngalokho okushoyo noma ongakushoyo kodwa nendlela okusho ngayo. Ukubhekana nezingxabano zobudlelwano kungaba nzima kakhulu uma ukuxhumana kuhloselwe izingxabano,” kusho uDkt. Khanna.
Lapho bobabili abalingani beba nenhloso yokukhombisa ukuthi baqinisile, ukuxhumana okuhle kuyavinjwa. Lokhu kuholela ekwenyukeni kwezinxushunxushu kanye nokujula kodweshu ebudlelwaneni. Uma ungenalo ikhono lokulalela uzakwenu futhi uqonde ukuthi uvelaphi, ngisho nezinkinga ezincane kakhulu zingase zibambe iqhaza phakathi kwakho nomunye wakho obalulekile.
3. Ukucasuka kubhebhethekisa ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabalingani
Uma umlingani oyedwa noma bobabili bevame ukucasulana, umuzwa wokulimaza uyakhula. Umuntu olimele angase angayivezi imizwa yakhe kumlingani wakhe ngokukhululekile kodwa uzizwa enganelisekile. Njengoba le mizwa iqala ukukhula, abalingani bangaba kude ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana kwabashadile kucishe kungenzeki lapho isibalo sabo sigcwele imizwa ejulile eqinile ngomunye nomunye.
Imizwa engemihle engaxazululiwe ivuselela inzondo emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu akugcini nje ngokuba yimbangela yezingxabano kodwa futhi kwenza ukuxazululwa kwezingxabano kube nzima. Uma lokho kwenzeka, isifiso sokulungisa ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni noma sokuxazulula ukungezwani siyalahleka.
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4. Ukugxeka njalo kukhulisa ukungqubuzana kobudlelwane
Akekho othanda ukuhlale eqokwa noma ukugxekwa. Ikakhulukazi hhayi ngomlingani womuntu. "Ukungqubuzana kufanele kugxile ebuhlotsheni lapho ukugxeka kanye nokuthola amaphutha njalo kuyizinkambiso. Uma omunye umlingani ebeka icala lakho konke okungahambi kahle komunye futhi antshontshe isikweletu ngakho konke ukuthuthuka okuhle, kubangela ingxabano ebuhlotsheni," kuchaza uDkt. Khanna.
Ukugxeka nokubelesela ngeke nje kube umthombo wokungqubuzana kodwa kungase futhi kunikeze ngisho namasu okuxazulula izingxabano ahlolwe isikhathi esiningi angasebenzi. Ukwephula le phethini nokufunda ukugxeka ngendlela eyakhayo kubalulekile ukuze kuthathelwe indawo izimfanelo zobudlelwane obungenampilo obunempilo.
5. Ukulindela okungenangqondo nakho kungabangela izinkinga epharadesi
Cishe sonke sikhulele emibonweni ethi 'ngenjabulo naphakade', 'inkosana ebukekayo' kanye 'namaqhawe agqoke izikhali ezikhanyayo'. NgokukaDkt. Khanna, labo abafaka le mibono emnandi ebudlelwaneni babo babantu abadala bazifaka enkingeni. Ukubeka okulindelwe okungenangqondo kumlingani wakho noma ukubeka ibha ephezulu kakhulu ukuze uthole imigomo yobudlelwano nakanjani kuzophumela ekudumazekeni.
Lokho kuba yimbangela eqhubekayo yokungezwani nokungezwani ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, akukubi ukulindela izinto ezithile kumlingani wakho. Ngokuphambene nalokho, okulindelwe ebudlelwaneni okungokoqobo kuyadingeka ukuze kwakhiwe ubudlelwano obuhle. Imibhangqwana idinga ukuphatha okulindelwe ngendlela efanele ukuze kuvinjelwe ukuthi kungaphenduki kube umthombo wokungezwani.
6. Imithwalo edlule ingaholela ezingxabanweni ebudlelwaneni
UDkt. Khanna uthi umthwalo womuntu wesikhathi esidlule ungaphinda ubonakale ezinhlotsheni ezahlukene zokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni. “Okuhlangenwe nakho okubi ebuhlotsheni bangaphambili, ukukhuliswa, okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni, ukuhlukunyezwa umngane wangaphambili, abazali noma izingane zakini konke kungaba nomthelela ebuhlotsheni bomuntu bamanje.
Esinye sezibonelo zezingxabano zombhangqwana zakudala yizinkinga zokuthembana ezakhiwa abantu abake bakhohliswa esikhathini esidlule. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule kuvimbela umuntu ekuthembeni ngokugcwele abalingani bakhe bothando. Ukusola noma ukwesaba ukuthi umlingani wakhe wamanje naye uzobakhaphela ngendlela efanayo kumenza asebenzise izinsolo kanye nomdlalo wokusola. Ngokungenakugwenywa, lokhu kuholela ezingxabanweni, ezimpini, ezingxabanweni nasezingxabanweni ezingalimaza ubuhlobo.
Izinhlobo Zokungqubuzana Ebudlelwaneni
Njengoba sesibonile, akuzona zonke izingxabano ebudlelwaneni bothando ezenziwa ngokulingana. I-spectrum yezinkinga ezingaba khona eziholela ezingxabanweni ebudlelwaneni ihlukene futhi ukushuba kwengxabano kungahluka, kuye ngezinkinga eziwumsuka kanye nempilo yobudlelwano. Ngokufanayo, izinhlobo zokungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni nazo zingahlukahluka ngokulinganayo.
Kuye ngezimbangela eziyinhloko ezibangela ukungezwani phakathi kozakwethu ababili, ukungqubuzana kungabonakala ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene. Uma bobabili abalingani behluleka ukuthola ukuxazulula ukungqubuzana okunempilo ebuhlotsheni, imvelo yalezi zingxabano ingase ibe ubuthi ngokushesha.
Ukuvimbela lokho ukuthi kungenzeki kuwe, ake sibheke izinhlobo ezihlukene zokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni ukuze ukwazi ukuhlonza amaphethini ayinkinga futhi uwakhiphe ku-bud:
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1. Ukugxeka njalo
Esinye sezibonelo ezivame kakhulu zokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni ukugxekwa njalo ngomunye noma bobabili abalingani. Uma ulokhu uqola umlingani wakho, umtshela konke okungajabulisi ngobuntu bakhe, noma okuphambene nalokho, kuzobhula ilangabi lothando nothando olunihlanganise kwasekuqaleni.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuba ngumfazi ohlala ephikelela ongacabangi ukuthi umyeni wakhe angenza noma yini efanele noma umyeni ongenazwela ongenakukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa alandise amaphutha omlingani wakhe kunuka ukuntuleka kwenhlonipho. Uma kungekho uthando, uthando kanye nenhlonipho, ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni kuzokwanda kakhulu, kukwenze uzizwe sengathi usezindaweni zempi.
2. Ukubukelana phansi
Phakathi kwezinto ezingase ziholele ezingxabanweni ebudlelwaneni, indelelo ifika phezulu esiqongweni sephiramidi. Lapho ukungqubuzana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi noma noma ibaphi abantu ababili abathandanayo kubangelwa umthwalo wezidingo ezingahlangatshezwana nezilindelwe, kubonakala ngendlela yokwedelela. Awucabangi ukuthi umlingani wakho ulungile ngokwanele ngoba awukapholi ekulimazeni okungenzeka bakuzwise ngaphambili, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuncane noma kuncane kangakanani.
Ukuxazulula izingxabano emibhangqwaneni kuba yinselele engenakuqhathaniswa ngoba izingxabano nokungavumelani kwazo akuzona nje indaba ekhona. Umehluko omncane wemibono uphenduka ithuba lokukhuluma ngazo zonke izinkinga zesikhathi esidlule, okukushiya ubambeke emjikelezweni wokuba nezingxabano ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe.
3. Ukuzivikela
Olunye uhlobo oluvamile lwengxabano ebudlelwaneni lubonakala ngokuzivikela. Ubona enye impi maduze bese uyazi ukuthi lokho kusho olunye uchungechunge lokuxoxisana nokushintshana icala . Ngaphambi kokuba umlingani wakho athole ithuba lokukusola, uthola konke ukuzivikela bese ubeka umthwalo wemfanelo kuye.
Uma ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni kwenza abalingani bavikeleke futhi bajikelane, kuwuphawu olukhathazayo lokuthi ukungqubuzana sekuyinto engapheli. Uzizwa uyisisulu, futhi qaphela ukuze ugweme imiphumela emibi yenye impi.
4. Ukukhanda ngamatshe
Ukuwasha ngamatshe kungenye yezibonelo zakudala zokungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni. Lapho ukungavumelani ebudlelwaneni kuba yinto evamile, ngisho nomcabango wokuphinda wenze okufanayo ungakukhathaza ngokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke, uvala umlingani wakho ngokwenqaba ukuzibandakanya naye futhi umnike ukuphathwa buthule - okwaziwa ngokuthi ukuwasha ngamatshe.
Umbono lapha awukona ukuthatha isikhathi sokuzola ukuze ukwazi ukuxazulula ngokuthula kodwa ukubangela ubuhlungu bomzwelo ngamabomu ngokumvalela umlingani wakho ngaphandle. Uma ukungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni bothando kubangela ukukhohliswa ngamatshe, kuwuphawu oluyisixwayiso lokuxhumana sekuphenduke ubuthi. Phakathi kwezinhlobo ezahlukene zezingxabano ebudlelwaneni, lokhu okunzima kakhulu ukukuxazulula.
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Izigaba Zokungqubuzana Kobudlelwane
Ukungqubuzana kobudlelwane kuqala kudala ngaphambi kokuba izimpawu zokuqala zokungezwani ziqale ukubonakala. Ngisho noma lezi zigaba zokungqubuzana kobudlelwane zingahle zingahlali zilandelana noma zihlukaniselane, ukuziqonda kungakusiza ukuthi ubone izimpawu eziyisixwayiso kusenesikhathi. Futhi ngaleyo ndlela, thuthukisa amasu okuxazulula izingxabano ngesikhathi. Nazi izigaba eziyisi-5 ezibalulekile zokungqubuzana kobudlelwano okufanele uziqaphele:
1. Ukuphazamiseka kwangaphakathi
Enhliziyweni yezinhliziyo zenu niyazi ukuthi kukhona okushaya amanzi ebudlelwaneni benu. Kodwa awukakakwazi ukubeka umunwe kukho okwamanje. Inkinga ukuthi uma ungakwazi ukusho inkinga, awukwazi ukuthatha izinyathelo zokubhekana nayo. Noma kunjalo, ungawuzibi lo muzwa wamathumbu. Yisebenzise njenge-gudge ukuze ubonise ubudlelwano bakho.
2. Ukugwema izinkinga
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi izingqinamba eziwumsuka ebudlelwaneni ziyacaca. Kuleli qophelo, imibhangqwana eminingi iphendukela ekugwemeni izingxoxo ezinzima ngezinkinga zayo kunokuba ibhekane nazo njengeqembu. Ukuxubha izinkinga ngaphansi kukakhaphethi kuyindlela yokubhekana nayo engahlomele kahle. Omunye obuyisela emuva, cishe njalo.
Ukusebenza ekuthuthukiseni ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kungavimbela izinkinga ukuthi zingakhuli futhi kuqede izinkinga ekuqaleni kunokuba zibangele ukuba zibe yinto enkulu.
3. Ukubona umlingani wakho njengesitha
Ukungabhekani nokungqubuzana kobudlelwano ngqo kubangela izinkinga kanye nemizwa engemihle ukuthi ikhule. Uqala ukubuka umlingani wakho njengesitha. Ngisho nokungaboni ngaso linye okuncane kakhulu kukhishwa ngokulingana, futhi niqala ukusabela komunye nomunye kusuka endaweni yentukuthelo, intukuthelo kanye nenzondo. Kulesi sigaba, uqala ukuba nezimpi ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe kungekho sixazululo esibonakalayo. Lokhu kungaba indawo ekhandla kakhulu ukuba ube kuyo.
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4. Ukufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwabanye
Uma ingxabano yobuhlobo idlula isigaba sesithathu ngaphandle kwesixazululo, ingaholela ekuhlukaneni okukhulu phakathi kwabalingani. Manje, uqala ukusakaza izingubo zakho ezingcolile esidlangalaleni futhi ufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwezenzo zakho uma ziqhathaniswa nezomlingani wakho emndenini wakho nabangane. Wena noma umlingani wakho ningaqala ukusebenzisa izingxoxo noma izimpikiswano zangasese ukugxekana esidlangalaleni. Ukuthambekela okunjalo kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi niphenduka umbhangqwana onobuthi.
5. Izimpawu zolaka
Esigabeni sesihlanu nesokugcina sengxabano yobudlelwano, ulaka lungena ebudlelwaneni. Ulaka alusho ukuthi izenzo zobudlova ezingokomzimba. Lungawela noma kuphi phakathi kwamazwi ahlekisayo kuya ekuxabaneni. Ukuzifihla noma ukungakhulumisani, ukuhlambalaza umlingani wakho noma ukuthukuthela konke kuyizinhlobo zolaka ngokwazo. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, kungabonakala njengokuqhuma kolaka.
8 Amasu Aphumelelayo Wokuxazulula Izingxabano Ongawazama
Ingxabano ebudlelwaneni ingenza abalingani bazizwe behlaselwa futhi besongelwa. Kungokwemvelo ukusebenza endaweni yokuzivikela esimweni esinjalo. Nakuba imibhangqwana eminingi iphumelela ekuxolelaneni ngemva kokulwa , izinkinga eziyisisekelo ngokuvamile azixazululwa. Nazi izindlela eziyi-8 ezisebenzayo zokuxazulula izingxabano ongazama ngazo ukulungisa amaphethini amabi ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi uxhumane nomlingani wakho kangcono:
1. Setha kabusha ukugxila kuwena kuya ebudlelwaneni
Indlela yokuxazulula ukungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni lapho bobabili bezizwa beqinile? Lo mbuzo unzima ezingqondweni zabashadikazi abanemibono engqubuzanayo. "Isinyathelo sokuqala lapha siwukuphumuza ingqondo yakho. Qondisa amandla akho ekuxazululeni inkinga ekhona esikhundleni sobuhlungu noma intukuthelo ongase uyizwe. Elinye lamasu awusizo kakhulu okuxazulula izingxabano kwabashadile ukungaphathani njengabaphikisi," kusho uDkt. Khanna.
Lolu shintsho oluncane ekubukeni kwakho lungakusiza kakhulu ukuthi uzibheke wena nomlingani wakho njengeqembu kanye nokungqubuzana kobudlelwane benu njengesitha esivamile.
2. Sebenzisa ukuxhumana ukuze uvale izikhala lapho ubhekana nokungqubuzana kobudlelwane
Uyazibuza ukuthi uqeda kanjani ukungqubuzana ebudlelwaneni? Yazi ukuthi ukusebenzisa ukuxhumana njengethuluzi lokuvala izikhala futhi ungawandisi kuyingxenye ebalulekile yenqubo. Noma nini lapho wethulwa ngokungahambi kahle, ungasebenzisi amagama akho ukuze ubhebhethekise izingxabano nokungavumelani. Kunalokho, zikhethe ngokucophelela ukuze uthole indawo emaphakathi eyamukelekayo kuzo zombili izinhlangothi.
UDkt. Khanna uthi, "Faka esikhundleni samagama anjengokuthi 'uhlala wenza lokhu', 'bengazi ukuthi uzokusho lokho' noma 'kungani ungaqondi kanye nje' uthi 'Ngithola indlela ozizwa ngayo, kodwa...' noma 'Ngiyazi ukuthi awukhululekile. Kunganjani thina...' Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside noma imishado idinga ukuyekethisa nokulungisa. Uma uzimisele ukunikeza lokho, ngokuphindaphindiwe ukubuyisela umlingani wakho ngokubuyisela emuva kunokungabuyiseli. Inkinga iyaxazululwa ngaphambi kokuthi iqhume. Leli elinye lamasu okuxazulula ukungqubuzana cishe njalo enza ubuqili.
3. Bheka ukungqubuzana njengethuba
Nansi enye yezingcaphuno ezinhle kakhulu zokungqubuzana kobudlelwano ongaphila ngazo, "Ekupheleni kosuku, ungagxila kulokho okukuhlukanisayo noma okunigcina nindawonye." Umqondo wokusebenzisa ukungqubuzana njengethuba usekelwe kulo mbono ngobudlelwano. Uma ungavumelani nozakwenu, ungawasebenzisi amandla akho ekuzameni ukuwina noma ukufakazela iphuzu lakho.
"Ayikho inzuzo ekwenzeni umlingani wakho alahlekelwe noma kunjalo. Kusebenzise njengethuba lokuqonda lapho nobabili nihluke khona ngombono wenu nokuthi ningavumelanisa kanjani amaphuzu enu kakhulu. Ungase ungaphumeleli u-100% wesikhathi kodwa kuyoba nenqubekelaphambili eqondile. Ezimweni lapho ungeke uvumelane nomlingani wakho, funda ukuhlonipha umbono wabo futhi wamukele ukungezwani kwakho, "kusho uDkt Khanna.
Ukufunda ukuhlonipha ukungaboni ngaso linye kanye nokuvuma ukungavumelani ezindabeni ezithile kuwukungqubuzana okungase kuxazululwe ebuhlotsheni lapho bobabili bezizwa beqinile.
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4. Amahlaya angelinye lamasu okuxazulula ukungqubuzana angenabufakazi
Ngisho nobudlelwano obuhle bubanjwa yisimo sokuziphindiselela ngezinye izikhathi. Lokhu kwenzeka uma ubhekene nezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho noma empilweni yakho. Amahlaya angaba ikhambi elifanele lokulungisa ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni futhi akhululeke embuthanweni omubi wezingxabano nokungavumelani.
"Uma unomuzwa wokuthi enye ingxabano isakha noma ishube, sebenzisa amahlaya ukuze uyiqede futhi uyiqede. Qaqa ihlaya elidala langaphakathi, cula iculo, uxoxe ngenkumbulo endala. Njengoba nibambana niqaphile, kuzoba lula ukuxhumana. Ngokungazelelwe, ngisho nokungqubuzana okukhulu kakhulu kuyobonakala kuwubuwula," kusikisela uDkt. Khanna.
5. Imibuzo ibalulekile ekuxazululeni izingxabano ebudlelwaneni
Okungenani, uhlobo olufanele lwemibuzo. Lena enye yezindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano ezingaba usizo kakhulu kubantu abashadile abesaba ukuthi ukungezwani kungase kuthinte ubuhlobo babo. Zihlole esikhathini esidlule bese uzibuza imibuzo efanele ukuze uthole izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe ezibangela izingxabano.
"Kungasiphi isikhathi lapho ubuhlobo bakho bushintsha khona? Ingabe kwakukhona ukuhlehliswa okuphawulekayo? Noma ingabe i-pent up yezindaba ezincane ibangele ukuwohloka? Ingabe ubuhlobo bakho bubanjwe izinkolelo ezithile ezikhawulelayo? Hlobo luni lwekusasa olufunayo nomlingani wakho? Ungayakha kanjani? Ukubuza imibuzo enzima kangaka kungenye yezindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano ezihlolwe isikhathi, "kusho uDkt Khanna.
Lena eminye yemibuzo ezokusiza ukuthi uqale indlela yokuzihlola. Kodwa-ke, qiniseka ukuthi ubhekana nalolu hlelo ngendlela efanele. Inhloso ukuxazulula izingxabano hhayi ukusola abanye.
6. Ukuqeda kanjani ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni? Qala ngokwamukela
Sonke sinesabelo sethu semikhuba, amaphethini kanye nokuthambekela okungaphansi kokufiselekayo. Uma ufuna ukuqeda ukungqubuzana okungapheli ebudlelwaneni bakho, ukwamukela izici 'ezimbi' zomlingani wakho kuyimfuneko. Gxila kulokho okuthandayo ngabo noma indlela abakwenza uzizwe ngayo esikhundleni sezigigaba nemikhuba ekushayela udonga.
"Lapho ufunda ukwamukela ukuthi umlingani wakho ungumuntu onamandla nobuthakathaka, izimfanelo ezinhle nezimbi, izici ezingajabulisi zobuntu bakhe ngeke zisakukhathaza. Ngokunjalo nje, lezo zingxabano eziphindaphindiwe mayelana nokushiya ithawula elimanzi embhedeni noma ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ocingweni zizoba izinto ezingezona izindaba, "kusho uDkt Khanna.
7. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, qaphela amaphethini akho angalungile
Njengomlingani wakho, nawe unesabelo sakho sokushiyeka nobuthakathaka. Ukusebenzela ukuqaphela kanye nokuzama okungenani ukuqeda lezo kungenye yamasu abalulekile okuxazulula izingxabano ebuhlotsheni.
Ufuna izibonelo ezimbalwa zokungqubuzana ukuze uqonde ukuthi hlobo luni lwezindlela zobudlelwano ezimbi okufanele usebenzele ukuzilungisa? Cabanga ngalokhu: Ake sithi uvame ukuvala ubudlelwano bese uba ngowodwa uma ubhekene nokungqubuzana. Ngenxa yalokhu, ugcina unikeza umlingani wakho ukuthula kukho konke ukulwa. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana, nakho kuyamthukuthelisa. Futhi ngisho nesivumelwano esincane siphenduka impi ende ende.
Kuzwakala ujwayelekile? Nokho, ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho kuba nengxabano, yenza umzamo oqotho wokwephula leli phethini. Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuqala ingxoxo, okungenani vulekele lapho umlingani wakho enza umzamo.
8. Ukuthethelela kuyisihluthulelo sokuxazulula izingxabano ebudlelwaneni
Izingxabano nokungezwani osekunesikhathi eside kungaholela ekubeni nemizwa yokulimala, intukuthelo, nokungathembani ebudlelwaneni. Ngisho nangokwengeziwe uma ukwethembana phakathi kozakwethu kuphumelela. Esimeni esinjalo, elinye lamasu angcono kakhulu okuxazulula izingxabano ukuthethelela.
“ Ukuthethelela ebudlelwaneni kungenza izimangaliso ekuqiniseni isibopho senu naphezu kokuphakama nokwehla. Kodwa-ke, akuyona into engafinyelelwa ngobusuku obubodwa. Kudinga umsebenzi kanye nomzamo oqondile ukuvuma amaphutha, ukubeka umlingani wakho phambili nokuzibophezela ekubaleni okuphelele. Uma ukufeza, imiphumela ingaba imilingo yokuxazulula izingxabano ebudlelwaneni,” kusho uDkt. Khanna.
Ubudlelwano akulula. Badinga ukunakekelwa nokukhuliswa njalo. Naphezu kwamaphutha nokuhluka, ubudlelwano obuningi buwufanele umzamo. Ngakho-ke ngaphambi kokuthi uvumele ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho buphele, nikeza lawa masu okuxazulula izingxabano ithuba.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Indlela efanele yokubhekana nokuxazululwa kwezingxabano ebudlelwaneni iwukuba ukhumbule ukuthi wena nophathina wakho anizona izitha kodwa niyiqembu. Ungavumeli ukungezwani nezingxabano kunehlukanise.
Ukunciphisa ukungqubuzana ebuhlotsheni, bobabili abalingani kufanele bazibophezele ekukhuthazeni ukuxhumana okunempilo nokuxazulula izinkinga njengoba ziphakama. Ungashaneli izinto ngaphansi kukakhaphethi noma ugwinye imizwa yakho ngenjongo yokugcina ukuthula nokuzwana. Lokhu kuthambekela kuzobuya kuzokuhlupha kamuva.
Ukuthethelela, ukwamukela, ukuqaphela amaphutha akho, ukuxhumana okuhle, ukusebenzisana, ukuhlekisa nokubuza imibuzo efanele konke kuyizici ezibalulekile zezindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano.
Isu elingcono kakhulu lokuxazulula izingxabano ukungena ebudlelwaneni nesilayidi esihlanzekile - lokhu kusho ukucubungula umthwalo wakho wesikhathi esidlule ngaphambi kokwenza amabhondi amasha - futhi ukugcine kunjalo ngokungavumeli izinkinga zishelele ngaphandle kokuxazululwa.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
