Trust is definitely the most vital factor that can make or break a relationship. It’s impossible to build a long-term bond with someone who makes you suspicious, whom you can’t trust with your eyes closed, and who has a tendency to make you wary of their ‘little white lies’ frequently. That’s why it’s vital to recognize the signs of an untrustworthy person early on in a relationship.
You must make sure that the person is worthy of your unwavering trust before getting committed to them. We know doubting your boyfriend isn’t the most pleasant feeling. However, it is also equally important that you don’t turn a blind eye to the glaring red flags in a relationship. If you can already spot the red flags and want to know if he is really trustworthy, we’re here to tell you the tell-tale signs you need to lookout for.
10 Signs Of An Untrustworthy Person
Rachel and Morgan were in a relationship for three months. They had met through a friend and all their mutual friends said that Morgan was a gem of a person but within no time he started showing signs of a sneaky person. He seemed to have friends and hobbies he cultivated in the gaming world that he didn’t want Rachel to know. He would be gone for days, his phone switched off, and just when Rachel would start thinking he had ghosted her, he would re-appear.
“He said he wanted his own space, that’s why he took off. These were signs of an unreliable person I could not put up with. It was a mentally stressful experience and I just could not trust him, so we broke up,” says Rachel. She did the right thing. When there are signs that someone can’t be trusted, there is no point in sticking around. If you too find yourself in a similar situation and don’t know whether it’s worth investing your energy and emotions in a relationship, pay attention to these 10 signs of an untrustworthy person:
Related Reading: 10 Important Components Of Trust In A Relationship
1. He randomly cancels plans – Sign of an untrustworthy person
It’s perfectly normal to blow off plans on short notice for legitimate reasons like working late or having a family emergency to take care of. But if he has a tendency to cancel plans frequently for weird reasons or if he always comes up with the same excuse, then it’s time to open your eyes and be wary of trusting him.
This is an absolute sign that you cannot rely on this person. And if you feel like, “I love him but I don’t trust him anymore”, we totally understand. This kind of behavior only reflects the traits of a sneaky and selfish boyfriend.
2. He frequently ‘forgets’ to share information
How do you know you can trust a guy? He won’t leave out the important details of his life. But if he does, perhaps you should be a little worried. Let’s say he hangs out at his friend’s place every Friday night. You were told it is a ‘boys only’ thing but eventually, you find out that girls from his groups of friends, including his ex, are part of these weekly get togethers. The fact that he left out this important detail is an absolute sign he is an untrustworthy person.
When you confront him about it, he may say that he ‘forgot’ to mention it. This is a classic example of little white lies in a relationship. But no matter what color it is, ultimately it’s a lie. You will know that he is a sneaky person and not someone to be trusted when his lies come out in the open often or he forgets the storyline of a lie, giving himself away.
3. He is finicky about his phone
If he tends to take phone calls in another room or away from you in public places, then it’s an obvious sign that he has got something to hide. Some people like to keep a few things private, and that’s perfectly okay. He doesn’t need to share every detail of his life with you, but if he always takes his phone with him when he leaves the room even for a few seconds, then something’s definitely up and he is not really someone you can trust.
If he receives texts in the middle of the night that he answers in a suspiciously private manner, keeps changing his mobile password so that you don’t access it, and always takes his calls in private, then there is something shady about the guy. These are absolute signs of a sneaky and untrustworthy person.
4. He is not there when you need him
How to tell if you can trust someone? Well, if he is there for you when you need him, trust will develop organically. A relationship needs two people to be present for each other when the situation demands. He may not be able to be there every time you need him because sometimes, despite our best intentions, life gets in the way.
However, if he takes too long to answer your call or reply to texts whenever you try to reach him to share work problems, family issues, or emotional vulnerabilities, then you have every reason to be wary of trusting him. You need to be able to count on your partner in your times of need. If he is ‘too busy’ to comfort you when you need him, there is no way he is worthy of your trust. It’s a sign he is an untrustworthy person.
5. He has jealousy issues
A person who lies to your face, hides things from you, and then manipulates you by piling on more lies to prove that he is not lying knows what he is doing with you. Such people tend to look at the world through their own tainted perspective. They are afraid of their misdeeds backfiring someday. Naturally, they imagine that you’d go to the same lengths to take advantage of them or have them fooled as they already have. This can give rise to jealous and controlling behavior.
If he acts like a jealous boyfriend constantly interrogating whom you are talking to, always asking where you are going and what you are doing behind his back, don’t mistake it for his care and concern. An untrustworthy person tends to project their guilt about their wrongdoings onto others. These are the signs someone can’t be trusted at all.
6. He is not open about important things
If he has lied to you about important matters on more than one occasion in the past and gotten away with it, I can bet he is going to lie to you again. He doesn’t want to talk about his childhood or his ex-girlfriend nor is he open to talking about his job. When you prod, he lies his way out of having a real conversation with you.
Some people have a tendency to use lies as a defense mechanism and they are definitely not the ones you can trust. If he does not open up about his life to you, he is being sneaky and it’s hard to get along with a person like this. Our advice would be to dump him if he makes no effort to change this attitude.
Related Reading: Questions You Need To Ask Your Boyfriend About His Ex
7. He has a shady social media presence
In the eight months they have been dating, Mark hasn’t given Taylor many reasons to doubt him. But she never understood what was up with him blocking her from all of his social media accounts. Taylor says, “All these days, he told me that he is not available on Facebook or Instagram until just recently, my friend found out about his active presence on social media and a couple of dating apps too. Is he cheating online? I know I love him but I don’t trust him anymore.”
Clearly, Mark wanted to keep this relationship a secret so he could continue with his online shenanigans without getting caught. I am sure you are not one of those people who pester their partners for sharing passwords. And if your partner told you that they are not comfortable with social media PDA, you would be okay with it. But hiding such a big detail from you definitely indicates a double life and an untrustworthy character.
8. He never invites you to his place
It’s difficult as it is to trust your boyfriend when you have trust issues. Add to that, if he deliberately tries to keep you away from his personal life, your trust issues are bound to snowball. If it’s been months since you started seeing each other but to this day, you don’t know exactly where he lives, let alone going back to his place, it’s only natural for you to be suspicious of him.
On top of that, if you don’t get to hear much about his family either and you haven’t even met any of his friends, he is clearly keeping on the sidelines. Perhaps, because you’re a side-chick or he has something else to hide. Why else would he be so secretive about the things everyone shares with their partners? It’s clearly one of the textbook signs someone can’t be trusted.
9. Blame game infests your relationship
Ah, the glue that holds every toxic relationship together – trust issues, ugly confrontations, and blame-shifting. One of the worst offshoots of having an untrustworthy character is that your partner can’t handle conflict like a mature adult and doesn’t know how to take responsibility for his actions. Instead, he would resort to accusations, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and whatnot, to play the victim and make you look like the bad guy. If you catch him cheating and he blames you for trusting your own eyes over his version of the truth, you know what your next move should be.
Related Reading: 15 Signs He Will Break Your Heart
10. Inconsistent behavior is one of the signs of untrustworthy person
How do you know you can trust a guy when his words and actions never go simultaneously? Not everyone has the integrity to stay true to their commitments. If your guy is one of those people with a poor moral compass, this relationship is not going to be a happy one. He may talk about big dreams and make elaborate future plans with you but would bail when you ask him to meet your parents for brunch.
You can find more signs of his inconsistent behavior from his countenance. He might be speaking of roses and hearts, and comparing your beauty with that of the moon but you will never see that passion in his eyes. More often than not he will be skeptical to meet your eyes so that his true intentions are concealed from you.
- Being over possessive about his phone is a sign of an untrustworthy person
- He will hide the truth or tell white lies on many occasions
- He never opens up to you and doesn’t invite you to his place
- He is not there for you when you need him
- If his words and action don’t match, he may not be trustworthy
Hopefully, this article shed some light on the most evident signs of an untrustworthy person. If you notice three or more of these tell-tale signs in your partner persistently, you have every reason to be concerned. We won’t recommend snooping around for proof. If your gut is telling you something is not right, have an honest conversation with him about it. Then, see if he goes into denial mode or owns up to his actions. His reaction will make it easier for you to decide the future of your relationship.