12 Signs of a Lying Spouse

lying spouse
It can be heartbreaking to be lied to by someone who you value in your life, for example, your spouse. This is because you trust and believe in them. So the idea of them lying to you can be hurtful and might make you feel betrayed.
However, the intentions behind lies matter too. If your spouse lies to you to save you from a certain situation, or lying is a one-off case, then you can choose to let it go. But, if you think your spouse is deliberately keeping things from you and lies all the time, then it can be a matter of grave concern. You find that your partner even lies about small things.
So, how should you deal with your lying spouse?
Let us explore this further by delving into the possible reasons why they feel the need to lie.

Why do spouses lie?

Sometimes, spouses lie to save themselves from embarrassment while other times they may lie to protect their partners from grief. But, at the end of the day, lies still remain what they are – lies. Hence, it is important to know about some of the reasons or circumstances which encourage them to lie to their partners.

This will help us in dealing with a lying spouse.
  • Your spouse might lie to you because he/she promised to do something but failed to keep that promise

  • He/she might have intended to change some of their habits but failed to do so
  • Your spouse might have let you down earlier and is afraid of how you will react if they do something wrong again
  • They might lie to you to avoid confrontation or conflict
  • Your spouse might lie because he/she is scared of losing you or being rejected by you
  • They lie to control a particular situation and turn it to their advantage
  • Your spouse lies to hide his/her infidelity. Lying can be a sign of infidelity
  • They lie to create a false impression of them as a talented, special or successful person

12 signs of a spouse who is lying

Lying is, first and foremost, a destroyer of trust. Without trust, a relationship cannot survive the struggles of life. Lying in marriage, or in a relationship, can complicate matters, create issues which might blow out of proportion. This may have serious implications for your relationship.
Like they say,
The truth always comes out
Hence, there are ways in which you can identify the signs of a lying spouse. This article will help you get acquainted with these signs and teach you how to deal with a lying partner. Look out for the following signs as they will help you in identifying and confronting a lying spouse. This might just be the key to saving your relationship.

1. Your spouse speaks in an unusual way

As the person who communicates with your spouse on a daily basis, you know their general manner of talking. Therefore, you will notice if your spouse is speaking in a weird way. If you find them talking quite differently than normal, then this can be a sign of him/her lying to you. Why? Because people who lie usually change the tone of their voice, their pitch and speed of their speech to assert their lie as the truth.

2. Eye movements can be a good indicator

Does your spouse avoid making eye contact with you while talking to you about specific topics? If yes, then it is possible that they are hiding something from you. He/she might even start blinking frequently when you try to talk about something that they are trying to hide.

If he is being deceptive it is a sign of a lying spouse

3. Your spouse scratches and fidgets excessively

If you find your spouse scratching continuously or uselessly fidgeting during a conversation, , then it can indicate that your spouse is lying to you. Scratching and fidgeting are actually signs of heightened anxiety and nervousness that people experience when they lie to someone.

4. Body language can help catch your lying spouse

Those who lie usually position themselves in such a way that they can avoid scrutiny. When your spouse lies to you, the following might happen
Your spouse may turn their body away from you, get up and feel agitated while talking to you. They may even start perspiring.

5. Things just don’t add up

There is a mismatch between the body language, facial expression and words. This is one of the most common signs of a lying spouse. If the what your spouse is saying and what he/she is trying to express with their face and body does not match, then it is one of the obvious signs that your spouse is lying to you.

6. Your spouse makes you feel doubtful about your thoughts

When your spouse is able to distort the conversation and truth in such a way that you begin to question yourself and your thoughts, it means something is amiss. If the blame comes on you at the end of every confrontational conversation, then it is high time you investigate the matter further to understand what is actually going on.

7. Your spouse tries to distract you

Your lying spouse might try to avoid/shift topics. They might try to distract you but bringing up other topics and change the course of the conversation. And if your spouse is unable to do so, he/she will bring the focus of attention on you to avoid the limelight.

8. They get too defensive

 If you notice your spouse giving unnecessarily long explanations for even the simplest of things, chances are you are being lied to. They dive deep into the details of matters and overexplain themselves. This is a sign of a lying spouse and their guilty conscience. Overcompensating for a lie(s) makes them very defensive about all their actions.

9. You get a gut feeling that things are not as they seem

As the closest person to your spouse, you will immediately feel that you are being lied to and that something is wrong. It’s possible your spouse is not hiding anything very significant. However, if you still get a gut feeling telling you something is wrong, trust your instinct.

10. Your spouse’s stories do not make sense

Liars generally end up making mistakes and change minor details in their story. So if you happen to catch small changes in your spouse’s stories every time they retell them, they are probably lying. You have to be objective while listening to his/her stories.

11. Your spouse becomes distant

In a relationship, two people are expected to be open to each other and share every detail with each other. But if you suddenly notice your partner being distant from you, not sharing their stories with you and avoiding you, then this could be an ominous sign.

12. Anger defines your lying spouse

Your lying spouse will definitely get angry at small things. They might get unreasonably upset with you and snap at you. Anger helps your spouse escape your scrutiny and questions.

How to confront a lying spouse?

Once you are certain that your spouse is lying to you, the next step is confronting your lying spouse. We know it’s not easy but dealing with a lying spouse is important in order to protect your relationship.
Dealing with a lying spouse can be hurtful because you believed in them with all your heart and they let you down. However, there are ways in which you can confront a spouse who is lying.
  • First, try to understand why your spouse lied to you. Knowing the reason behind the lie will help you deal with it in a better manner
  • Talk to your spouse in a calm and understanding manner. Approach the situation in a pragmatic way that does not make them feel attacked. It is important to be attentive to your partner
  • Do not blame your spouse directly and avoid being judgmental before hearing them out
  • Be careful of manipulation and stand your ground. You don’t want them to turn the tables and point fingers at you
  • Be confident about the facts you have in hand and use them appropriately while confronting a lying spouse
  • Ask specific and direct questions. Direct questions get direct answers. If you leave your questions open to interpretation, you won’t be getting clear answers anytime soon
  • In the end, whatever the verdict, assert the fact that you will not tolerate lies in the relationship

Related Reading: How To Maintain Your Sanity If Your Partner Is A Compulsive Liar

How does lying in a marriage affect the relationship?

Lying is considered toxic and poisonous for any relationship whatsoever. Trust, the foundation of any relationship, is destroyed because of lying. A singular lie usually leads to another and then another and another till it creates a snowball effect.
Lying signifies a lack of trust in the relationship. Once you have caught a lie, you tend to be suspicious of your partner in the future. In case of a small lie, this feeling goes away with time. But, if you catch a bigger lie or a series of smaller ones, it leads to some major trust issues.

Related reading: How Do I Deal with a Wife who is Constantly Lying?

Your spouse’s lies will reflect their selfish attitude. This is detrimental for any relationship. The worst way in which lying in a marriage or a relationship can affect it is if the relationship ends because of the lies.
When you’re in a committed relationship, you have to be honest with each other. Being in a serious relationship means you have an obligation of honesty towards your partner. If you think your partner cannot fulfil this obligation, maybe it’s time to ask if they are even ready for a relationship. If you think not, it is best to save yourself from the lies and heartbreak and end things for good.

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