Self-destruction is somewhat encoded within our cells; we can only control what we want to and when we want to. Giving something like a drug the power over a person means that the said person has already lost their control over themselves. But you have to know how to deal with a drug addict husband?
There isn’t any philosophical quotient or any biological equilibrium which can make things the way it used to be, but if your partner is into drugs, you can only know what it feels to be on edge on the time. People can only empathise and ask you to cut them off, but the problem is much deeper than just cutting your partner off, although this is the only possible solution in cases where things spin out of hands.
But help can be offered while coping with the fact you have to be with someone who is being preyed upon by their addiction. Life can be bitter, but it stings when you have to face the reality of a love life withering away. You can only handle yourself in situations like these, and strength and endurance are the keywords here.
What Classifies Someone As A Drug Addict?
Substance abuse and relationships don’t go together. Drug addiction or alcoholism have an adverse effect on relationships. But let us point out here that someone who has done substance abuse a few times because of peer pressure or because of curiosity, does not end up being a drug addict.
So how does a drug user become a drug addict? Let us tell you.
- A person who becomes dependent on substance abuse for happiness is a drug addict
- He has intense cravings for drugs
- His tolerance levels hit a low when he is denied drugs
- He has withdrawal symptoms like shivering and anger
- He loses his senses completely and indulges in risky behaviour when on drugs
- He gets into financial troubles because of his habit
- He only maintains relationships with people who indulge his drug addiction
Statistics show 21 million Americans have some kind of addiction and 90% of addicts started taking drugs or alcohol before they were 18. The American Addiction Centre website writes: Many of these adults (addicts) are involved in some type of cohabiting relationship, and these partners are feeling the painful repercussions of alcohol or drug abuse. Whether this relationship involves marriage, a domestic partnership, or a more informal living arrangement, substance abuse affects everyone in the home, not just the individual who is addicted. Effective therapeutic interventions involve both partners as well as their children.
Related Reading: 5 Ways Drug Addiction Affects Relationships
How To Deal With A Drug Addict Husband
It will obviously be hard for you to keep things together. The fight will no longer be with your partner, it will also be with your own conscience. You could be thinking, “My husband is doing drugs behind my back, how can I help him?”
This long battle can only be fought when you realise how strong you are.
All you can do is gather all of it and fight every situation head-on. Probably you will be the only saving grace in the relationship, but if it affects you to the point where you can no longer endure, it is advisable that you consider rehab for your partner.
Here are five ways you can deal with your husband’s drug addiction.
1. Get as much as support you can find
Emotional support can get you through the long and harrowing nights. Your friends and family should be there for you and your partner. In this way, you can have a team of your own to provide emotional support which you will be needing. The support must not be there for the sake of empathising, so be very careful while choosing your support.
There should be no space for judgement or prejudices in this support. Even if that support boils down to a single person, rely on them. You will often feel weak and morally frail; this is precisely when you need to call your support system up and vent as much as you can.
You can also take the help of online forums where you can even find like-minded people to talk to. These forums are usually safe places made and curated by people who have or are going through a similar situation. Your partner’s addiction is not on you, so you should be as transparent as possible for the sake of your mental health.
2. Clear your conscience
You should make it a point to assess every step so that it helps you clear your conscience. You might end up blaming yourself for not looking out enough for your partner. If you are blaming yourself, then stop doing that right away. Their drug abuse is not on you. Your conscience will be on the verge of sanity so be there for yourself as much as you are there for your partner.
Even if you decide to leave them, you must always find a rational way of telling yourself that what you did was right at that point. Never jeopardise what’s left of you before it’s too late. Your conscience can only be clear once you are transparent enough to realise what you are doing is for the greater good. Then only you can help your husband get out of substance abuse.
Related Reading: 8 Ways You Can Help Your Partner Get Over Drug Addiction
3. Join a support group
Surround yourself with people who can understand your situation. Support groups or group counselling often happen in various places. Try to look these contacts up online and don’t hesitate to speak out about your problems.
Help is there if you need it. But always remember that you are responsible for your own mental health. Similarly, you do what’s necessary, because your partner will need help, especially from you.
If both of you can join a support group and go to their sessions regularly then it will help immensely. With like-minded people who want to start life afresh, you will feel motivated.
4. Always be ready to act on your intuitions
Can a marriage survive drug addiction? Yes it can provided you use your intuitions. Intuitions can never be wrong when your situation itself is compromising your partner.
If your intuition tells you to do something, then there must be a good reason to go with that. Your partner is at stake and so are you, so don’t hesitate to do what needs to be done.
If you feel that your partner’s fallen back on drugs despite rehab giving him a clean cheat, don’t bother to confront him. Just use your intuitions and go ahead and do what’s right.
5. Stay motivated
There are some things that you need to do to stay mentally and physically motivated. The belief that you will find the right way to deal with your drug addict husband is a good starting point. Diet plays a vital role in situations where it can drain you easily.
Try to include a lot of fruits and salads in your diet. Eat healthy because this helps you to be prepared for any dire situation which is physically and emotionally demanding. Encourage your husband to meditate and do yoga with you.
Is It Wrong To Divorce Or Break Up With A Drug Addict?
The hardest thing to do is live with a drug addict. Because life plays on in a loop then – substance abuse, rehab, getting home, heading back to substance abuse. Those husbands, who are self-motivated enough and feel what their wives are going through, can break this cycle of going back to drug addiction and they finally come out clean.
Studies in the US show that a lot of divorces take place because of the partner’s inability to cope with substance abuse. Having a husband who is into drugs could mean an unhealthy atmosphere at home. It means children are perpetually scared of their father’s behaviour and they have to take up extra duties (like doing chores or earning money) because their father is irresponsible and they also face extreme financial issues.
Can a marriage survive drug addiction? There is no guarantee it will because of the adversities but often it does survive despite all odds.
In a situation like this there is nothing wrong in breaking up with or divorcing a drug addict. There is this much you can take but not more than that. Substance abuse and relationships are a recipe for disaster.
In case you need help you can call here:
You can call the Addiction Centre Helpline at (855) 418-6672
Use the SAMHSA Treatment Locator or call 1-800-662-HELP (4357)