Admit it. Most of us stalk our ex on social media platforms. And on one such day, imagine a profile picture of him hand in hand with someone. And as you probe further, you realise they have exchanged sweet nothings on Facebook. They seem to be in love, and their pictures look happy. And once you are sure that your ex has moved on, you feel miserable. Maybe because you are still not over him as yet.
It can be quite painful to know that your ex has a new girlfriend in his life.
15 ways to handle your ex dating someone else
You may be going through all sorts of emotions right now with all sorts of questions in your mind. Just when you were thinking about your relationship, you get to know that there is someone new in the picture.
You frequently ask yourself questions like – “My ex has a new girlfriend, does he miss me?” Beware; it will just make you open doors that better remain closed. If he missed you, he wouldn’t have moved on without clearing things with you. You keep thinking that “My ex is dating again and it hurts”. Well, we have all been down that road. Nothing hurts more than seeing your ex move on before you. Such a situation makes you more vulnerable. Remember to hold your own and make sure you cope with it.
But your ex has a new girlfriend. How to deal with it?
1. Don’t blame yourself
The first emotion that comes out when you see that your ex-has moved on is self-pity. You start to think that you were wrong and blame yourself for being the reason why things ended. Try to remember why you broke up and tell yourself that it is not your fault.
2. Remind yourself what went wrong
You might somehow keep thinking that your breakup was a mistake. It is just because you didn’t expect him to move on this fast. Remind yourself of all the problems your relationship had and why he wasn’t right for you.
3. Stay cool
There might be a hurricane whirling inside you, but you have to stay cool. You both have broken up and someone had to move on first. Unfortunately, it is him that did so. Tackle this situation calmly. Remember, this is not a competition and you do not need to be with someone to prove that you have moved on. Acting indifferent can do the same and show that his having a new girlfriend doesn’t affect you.
4. Girl gang
If your emotions are out of control, it is time to send an SOS to your girl gang. At this point you need them the most and there is nothing that spending time with your gal pals can’t fix. They know what you have been through and will be there to make sure you do not do anything stupid.
5. Shopping and spa therapy
It is time to pamper yourself and relax that paranoid mind. Get out your credit card and keep shopping till the picture of your ex and his new girlfriend stops flashing in your mind. It is time for self-love. Prove to yourself that you do not need a guy to make you happy.
6. Remind yourself about perks of being single
Why would you want to put yourself through all that drama again? Ask yourself whether you really want to be in a relationship. Being in a relationship made you more depressed than happy. Constant fights, arguments and cheating behind the back. You deserve much better. Enjoy your single life where you can do whatever you want, without anyone judging you, and spend all your money on yourself!
Not to forget the harmless flirting once in a while.
7. Explore your hobbies
Hobbies are the things that make you happy. Involve yourself in productive hobbies to occupy yourself. Take some ‘Me Time’ and focus on yourself rather than your failed relationship. If you don’t have any hobbies, find new ones.
Experiment with your skills. You could amaze yourself.
8. Believe in yourself
Do not think that this is the end of the world. You might think that you were a fool to think he will come back, but let’s face it; he hooked up with the next chick he found. Be grateful that it is over. At the same time, do not think that you are never going to find someone.
You are wise enough to get into a relationship when you are ready.
9. Avoid hasty decisions
News like that can make you do some pretty stupid stuff which you will soon regret. You will be like “What was I even thinking?”. Stupid things like stalking your ex’s new girlfriend’s social media profiles, their pictures, trying to contact your ex, hooking up with random guys, etc., are not an option. Make sure you consult your bff before doing anything stupid or just ask your bff to get her hands dirty for you.
Your bff will do anything for you and you know that.
10. Stay away from alcohol
Another thing to add to the list is to stay away from alcohol. Seeking alcohol without any supervision is not an option to drain your sorrows, because all that comes after it is a bad hangover and blurry visions of you drunk dialling your ex. Addiction to alcohol will only make you more of a mess.
Instead, cope with your feelings while you are sane. Have meaningful conversations with your friends about your emotions.
11. Do not compare yourself to her
Seeing your ex’s new girlfriend will make you start comparing yourself to her. You will wonder whether she is prettier than you or not. You will start observing the way they behave in public and ask yourself whether she makes him happier than you did. You are not her. She may look perfect, but that doesn’t mean that you are any less.
Tell yourself that you are the best and anyone would be more than happy to have you in his life.
12. Surround yourself with new company
At times, surrounding yourself with strangers helps. You don’t have to explain why you are sad. They don’t see you with sympathetic eyes. You can get to know some new people that might share interests similar to yours and who knows, you could meet someone special, too.
13. Tighten your schedule
The more things you have on your mind, the less will your mind wander to your ex’s new girlfriend. Keep busy, have hectic schedules to keep your mind active and productive. In the midst of it, do not forget to love yourself.
14. Embrace reality
You cannot escape the truth that he has moved on while you are still mourning over the last bits of your relationship. It is an indication that you should too. He is someone else’s now. Be happy for him and prepare yourself to begin a new relationship.
15. Set yourself free
This is the very closure you might have been looking for. You know that the end is real. You can no more cling on to the memories of your past. Set yourself free from all the emotions those memories were capturing you. You are now free from his memories and his presence. You are finally free from this failure called a relationship.
The mantra to a happy life after a breakup is self-love. Appreciate the positives around you and sever ties with things holding you back. As they say, love yourself and the world will love you.