Look, we’ve all met ‘that’ partner. The professional sulker with the blank face who has decided that, once in the room, they will only indulge in Scotch, meat entrées, and loud political discussions which we do not care about. These are people who wish to believe that God has two jobs: one is getting them a bottle of “Black Dog” and another is keeping silent and letting them think. While these partners may be hazardous to navigate around, they present opportunities to enjoy parties like never before.
The best party ever
1. Give them the charge of handing out the drinks
Let’s face it, once your hair is down, all bets are off. And who better to partner with than the silent brooding partner of yours hunching like a dragon over the seemingly endless supply of drinks? Keeping damage to a minimum, being a good hostess and getting drunk in one masterstroke. Also, that way he would make friends with all the other boozing husbands and probably not complain about the party five months later when you wish to throw another.
Look, he can be Humphrey Boggart from Casablanca, or Ajay Devgn from Gangajal, but you get to be Aisha only once in every 17 months. You get to dance. Invite him onto the dance floor, and attempt a salsa. It will give him a reason to believe that you care a lot, and also make him popular at the party.
Plus, all those eyes of your college friends who would die to be in your shoes? That is worth millions to you in the long run. So, hone that killer instinct, tell him you want to dance, and play your wedding tunes so that he turns up at the dance floor.
So, hone that killer instinct, tell him you want to dance, and play your wedding tunes so that he turns up at the dance floor.
3. Sneak off
Holding a person’s necktie and pulling them into a bathroom stall for that one kiss is as teenager-like as we’re allowed to get at this age. And as much as we pretend to wear thigh high socks, ankle socks might just be our solution for the night. Plus, you definitely miss your rabbit days of sneaking off into bathrooms for a quick kiss and running back to meet your parents. Use the party as an excuse to add to your love life, and have fun all the same.
4. Role play
You’re the Hollywood debutante who has discovered that the biggest star in the world likes to be left alone, and you cannot help but take the poor person to a safer place and maybe ask him for something in return? Role-playing is made more fun in masquerade parties, any parties really. Moreover, it’s weird, so your partner will definitely be in their own element here. Plus, for once, your drunk friends will encourage you to make conversation, and other things, with the person you’re in love with.
Related reading: 5 ways to communicate to your partner that you need more fun sex
5. Make them the designated driver
With great drinking comes great responsibility. And who better than the only non-drinker at your party to ensure the safety of the people. Plus, it earns you invisible ‘karma’ points from strangers who have just prevented themselves from getting Messi-kicked into heaven. Give your solemn partner the work of looking out for the drunk and sad friends and make sure he drops those poor sods off.
Psst. You can even finish off the drinks now that you don’t have to sober up to get appropriately anxious.
And when it’s all said and done, hold his hand and ask him for a ballet under the dimmed down party lights. It might be morning by the time you finish, but you will have something to cherish as well. And you would love yourself all the more for it. Remember, conversation is key to any relationship. Tell him about your night, and listen to him as he tells you about his anxiety. Retire into your abodes with love for there’s been no greater party ever thrown.