Relationships are great but have you tried mind-blowing sex without any emotional baggage or attachment? With the right friends with benefits rules, you can enjoy that with someone you know and trust. ‘Rules’ being the operative word here.
That’s because, if left unhinged, friends with benefits (FWB) equations can become tricky to handle. What if one person develops feelings for the other and wants more than just no-strings-attached hook-ups? What if you stop feeling it with your friend with benefits and want out? What if they find someone and want to move on?
That’s why laying some ground rules for friends who’re inclined to get intimate without being in a relationship is a must. It prevents a fun, casual thing from turning into a complicated mess.
18 Friends With Benefits Rules To Swear By
So, you’re single and want to keep it that way but there is a friend who leaves you feeling weak in the knees every time you lay eyes on them. You get a sense that they too feel the same way. You have the perfect setting to get a friends with benefits relationship going.
But don’t jump the gun just yet. Before you hook up with this person that you find irresistible, get a friends with benefits rules contract in place. By contract, we don’t mean a written contract. But definitely a clear, concise understanding of what this equation means for both of you and where you want to draw the line.
To help you get started, here are 18 friends with benefits rules you can swear by:
1. Define friends with benefits meaning
Well, broadly, the friends with benefits meaning is pretty self-explanatory. You’re friends who hook up with each other from time to time. However, the specifics of such an equation can mean different things to different people.
Perhaps, you view it as a quintessential shoot and scoot arrangement whereas your friend may want to stay for a shower, smoke, glass of wine, or meal afterward. These little differences can become major irritants later on. Finding common ground right at the outset can ensure that experience is breezy, casual, and fun for both parties involved.
Related Reading: What Do Guys Think Of Their Female Friends?
2. Always seek consent
Now that you’re boning, doesn’t mean you can take consent for granted. Don’t just show up at your friend’s place expecting some action without any forewarning. Or push your way for something they’re not ready for while you’re both in bed.
Consent is one of the most crucial aspects of a friends with benefits rules contract and neither party must take it lightly at any time. If you cross a line in the heat of the moment, you risk hurting the other person for life and jeopardizing not just a perfect arrangement but also your friendship.
On the flip side, don’t feel you’re obligated to say yes to things you’re not comfortable with just because you’re sleeping with this person.
3. Discuss the element of exclusivity
When entering a friends with benefits arrangement with a buddy, do discuss expectations about sleeping with other people. While this is not a relationship, expectations can take hold in intimate connections such as these. Besides, some people just aren’t comfortable with the idea of their sexual partner having multiple partners.
An honest conversation on this aspect is warranted.
4. Always use protection
Whether or not you’re sleeping with other people, using protection is non-negotiable in such an arrangement. You’re both likely to have had sexual partners in the past, will have others in the future, and at some point, either of you may end up hooking up with someone else while still sleeping with each other.
It’s not hard to see how this can expose you to the risk of STIs and STDs. So, it’s best to err on the side of caution and not get reckless in the heat of the moment.
5. Pay attention to your personal hygiene
Just because you’re not dating this person, doesn’t mean you get to be a slob in the bedroom. Don’t show up with prickly pubes, stained undies, armpit hair, or garlic breath. Take time to groom yourself as you would if you were going to get down and dirty with a romantic partner.
Expect your friend with benefits to do the same. It doesn’t hurt to spell it out when setting friends with benefits rules, just so that you are both on the same page.
6. Let yourself go
The best part about such unconventional alliances is that they excite you and stroke your carnal urges a whole lot more than a traditional relationship. So, revel in that rush you feel and let yourself go when in bed with your friend with benefits.
Speak your mind, let them know what you desire, don’t hold yourself back from exploring new things. The whole friends with benefits meaning is lost if you miss out on this part.
Related Reading: Got Friendzoned? Believe Us It’s Great for You!
7. Don’t do coupley stuff
It’s one thing if you and your friend with benefits have always hung out and are used to spending a lot of time together. But if this person is someone you shared a casual friendship with before, be wary of venturing into the couples’ territory.
This means no going to the movies or shopping together, taking each other out on dates, having lunch, or getting coffee. These interactions are breeding grounds for emotional intimacy. Since you’re already physically intimate, getting emotionally close can instantly put your equation into the complicated territory.
8. Avoid flirting in public
This is especially important if you’re friends with benefits at the workplace or sleeping with a friend who is part of your gang. No matter how much you’re turned on by each other’s presence or how high the sparks are flying, avoid flirting in public.
If you can’t control yourself, use a more discreet medium like texting. That way you can get the message across without raising eyebrows. Besides, the whole clandestine angle makes things a lot more exciting.
Related Reading: What Does Exclusive Mean To A Guy?
9. Don’t introduce your FWB to family or friends
As far as friends with benefits rules go, introducing an FWB to your family or friends is a big NO-NO. That stuff is reserved for romantic partners only. By getting your family or friends involved in this arrangement, you risk complicating the situation by getting everyone’s expectations up. Not to mention the pain of dealing with prying ‘what’s going with you guys’ questions.
If your friends and family already know the person you’re in a friends with benefits arrangement with, there is just no need to announce this aspect of your equation to them.
10. Steer clear of sleepovers
If you want to avoid dealing with possessive friends with benefits situation, steer clear of circumstances that can lead to emotional attachment. Having sleepovers certainly tops that list. When your FWB sleeps over, they may bring you coffee in bed the next morning. Or fix breakfast. You may shower together before getting ready for the day.
This just confuses things. So, have your share of fun, maybe top it up with a nightcap or a quick shower, and then, head home or say goodbye to them (depending on where you’re at).
11. The same goes for cuddles and snuggles
Speaking of rules for friends who’re sleeping with each other and eliminating the scope to develop an emotional connection, cuddles or snuggling up after sex is also a no-go territory. It will leave you feeling all warm, fuzzy, and somewhat smitten with your FWB.
You know as well as we do that’s a recipe for disaster.
12. Create space
Space is important in any relationship or connection you cultivate with another person. Even more so, in a no-strings-attached arrangement with a friend. So, when lay the friends with benefits rules, factor in the element of space.
Make it explicitly clear that neither of you will put up with the other becoming too clingy. This will go a long way in managing expectations later on.
13. Be open to new relationships
This thing you have going with your friend may be great but it is superficial and casual at best. Don’t let it take up the space of a real relationship in your life. Be open to meeting new people, going out on dates, and starting a new relationship, if the right person comes along.
This becomes especially crucial if you’re trying a long-distance friends with benefits arrangement.
14. Don’t be jealous
If your friend with benefits finds someone else or is putting themselves out on the dating scene, don’t let it make your insides turn with jealousy. Remind yourself that you’re not partners. As such, they’re not cheating on you or crossing any lines if they seek a deeper connection with someone else.
15. Space out your shenanigans
If you and your FWB are getting together every day for some hot, steamy action, it is only natural that you’d get used to each other’s presence in your life. That is the first step to getting attached to someone. This will cause a lot of pain and grief when one of you moves on.
That’s why spacing out your escapades is among the most important friends with benefits rules.
16. Don’t fall in love
When you’ve such an intimate connection with someone and begin to feel utterly comfortable in their presence, it is only natural that feelings may blossom at some point. If that happens, remind yourself why you decided to have a friends with benefits arrangement and not date them in the first place. This is a connection that yields a whole different kind of happy ending and you must never forget that.
However, if you cannot rein your feelings in, you must come clean and fess up. How your FWB reacts to this development is up to them.
17. Accept the fleeting nature of this arrangement
You and your FWB cannot possibly continue doing this dance – no matter scintillating it maybe – forever. There will come a point when either one or both of you will want out. To make sure that doesn’t leave you hurt and distraught, establish some clear ending friends with benefits rules.
This may include specifying at what stage or under what circumstances it’ll be acceptable to end this arrangement. Will you have an elaborate conversation or would a casual heads up suffice? Would you go back to being friends afterward? Talk about these things before you take the plunge.
Related Reading: Mera yaar, mera dost: Why you need an “other significant other”
18. Let things grow organically
In the rare event that both you and your FWB develop feelings for each other and want more than a sexual arrangement, there is no harm in cultivating this arrangement into a full-blown relationship. Provided no apparent red flags are telling you otherwise.
Should you come to that point let things advance organically rather than trying too hard to make a relationship come to fruition. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. If not, you will just have to make your peace with it and move on.
With these friends with benefits rules, you can truly make hay while the sun shines on your sex life without getting your heart skinned. Just remember to keep your emotions in check and set your body free to live up the experience to the fullest.
Friends with benefits sleep with each other without being in a relationship.
There is no expiration date on a friends with benefits relationship. Some people stop in a matter of week or months, others keep at it for years. As long as it feels right, you can keep it going.
For a guy too friends with benefits means having a connection with someone that falls somewhere between dating and friendship. Some men may see it as the perfect arrangement to have their needs met without any emotional baggage or relationship obligations. That said, it would be a stretch to assume that all men have the same take on this arrangement.
Yes, it is not unusual for friends with benefits to fall in love or develop feelings for each other. Trouble arises when these feelings are one-sided.