How to keep the conversation going with a girl isn’t rocket science but it can feel like it if you are the kind of person who overthinks every little thing and after hours of deliberation, you either come up with a plain old “hey” or “hello.” To get you out of your misery, we have come up with some clever ways that will make talking to girls seem like a breeze.
From great conversation starters to engaging conversation topics, and light-hearted jokes, we bring you an eclectic mix of tips that lead to great conversations and help you avoid awkward silences. Hopefully, with the ideas listed in this article, you will no longer find racking your brains about what to talk about with a girl.
How To Keep The Conversation Going With A Girl — 25 Tips
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We’ve all had that nervous conversation with a pretty girl. You know the one where you can’t help but think that she’s staring at that pimple that appeared out of nowhere last night. Wondering how to keep the conversation going with a girl when you’re too nervous about what she is going to think of you? Come up with interesting topics that lead to meaningful conversations. Now, interesting doesn’t necessarily mean complex. The answer to how to make small talk with a girl and build your way to a deeper conversation can lie in simple questions like:
- What did you do today?
- How was work?
- Do you read?
- What’s your favorite movie?
- Who is your favorite Kar-Jenner sister? (Or any pop culture question that’s trending at the moment)
Talking to girls isn’t as complicated or nerve-wracking as it is made out to be. Whether you’re wondering how to start a conversation on a dating app, on text, or in real life, just be yourself, give the girl you’re talking to the room to express her thoughts and opinions, take a genuine interest in what she has to say and find common ground to connect over. And you won’t have to worry about how to chat with a girl without being boring. Sounds too overwhelming? Let’s simplify it for you with these 25 actionable tips on how to hold a conversation with a girl:
1. Don’t hey and pray
Meaning don’t just lead with a boring “Hey!” and pray that she responds. It will only fuel awkward silences and once the conversation flatlines, you will be left wondering, “Why is talking to girls so hard?” Instead, while trying to figure out how to maintain a conversation with a girl, start by asking her about something she mentioned in her dating app bio or her Instagram profile. If there’s a common interest, use it to build up the conversation. Here are some examples:
- Hey! I couldn’t help but notice the beautiful pendant you’re wearing. Is there a story behind it?
- Your bio says you love baking. Where did you learn to bake?
- Hello, there! Looks like you had a great time on your weekend trip. The Instagram stories were lit
Related Reading: How To Talk To Women And Impress Them Instantly
2. Don’t be too eager to impress
If you’re wondering how to keep the conversation going with a girl, know that letting words roll off your tongue non-stop is not the way to do it. Yes, you want to impress her and make her look forward to talking to you. We get that. But trying too hard will likely backfire. Here’s what you can do instead. Once you’ve sent your opener that’s not just a boring “hey”, level up your game and take the conversation forward.
- Start by focusing on her, ask about her day, her interests, what she has been up to lately, and so on
- Fill in the awkward silences by talking about common interests, friends, work life, pets, and ambitions
- Once you get a sense of what kind of topics she is more interested in talking about, focus more on those
- If you have a good sense of humor, use it to your advantage to make her laugh
3. How to chat with a girl without being boring — Focus on getting to know her better
The key to figuring out how to carry a conversation lies in asking interesting questions about her that she can’t reply to with a simple yes or no. Keeping a conversation going becomes a lot easier when you ask open-ended questions like:
- Are you a beer, wine, or scotch person?
- Do you enjoy camping or prefer visiting museums?
- Tell me your pet peeves
Bono tip: When you appear genuinely interested, she will enjoy talking about herself. So ask the right follow-up questions and reply with more than just ‘hmmmm’ and ‘k’ when she responds to your questions. The answer to how to hold a conversation with a girl lies not only in asking the right questions but also in using them to stay engaged.
Related Reading: How To Date A Girl Out Of Your League
4. Be yourself, devoid of any pressure
If you want to understand how to keep a conversation going with a girl, know that faking it won’t get you far. Yes, you want to make a great impression, and that entails putting your best foot forward. But there is a difference between being on your best behavior and trying to be someone you’re not. Make sure you’re aware of it. Here are some things you can try to be yourself:
- If you’re anxious or stressed while talking to her, try telling her that. She might find it endearing
- Consider her as just another person you happened to meet in your life
- If you’re planning to meet somewhere, give her a list of places you find calming and conducive to a peaceful conversation. Let her choose the one she likes best
- For in-person meetings, wear something you feel comfortable and confident in. If you’re not comfortable and at ease, it can make it harder for you to focus on the conversation
When you’re not worried about trying to impress or not feeling the pressure to perform, you won’t try to make your conversation a theatrical performance. You’ll be more at ease, hence come off as inviting and confident, and be able to reveal the person you truly are. Also, give some thought to how to fix any social anxiety you may have. Being confident and at ease with yourself holds the key to how to be interesting to a girl.
5. How to hold a conversation with a girl — Be courteous
What to talk about with a girl, how to hold a conversation with a girl, or how to keep a convo going with a girl… all of these dilemmas become inconsequential if you put her off with your demeanor. So whether you’re wondering how to keep the conversation going with a girl over text or in real life, being nice and courteous is crucial.
There won’t be a conversation to sustain if you’re busy mansplaining or come off as a snob. Steer clear of any condescending tones or remarks. If you want to learn how to maintain a conversation with a girl, here are a few examples of what not to say:
- Let me explain it to you…
- Actually, what you meant to say is…
- You probably don’t understand this, but…
- I’m sure you’re not aware, but…
- Let me break it down for you…
6. Match her energy
How to chat with a girl without being boring? Try to match her energy and she will instantly gravitate toward you. Your body language must exude that you are interested in her. Mirror her body language. If she’s excited about something, show her you’re excited for her. When she is empathetic, match her emotions, and your conversations will become that much more engaging.
7. Tell her about yourself a little
Once you are done asking cute questions to your crush, see if she is interested in getting to know you as well. If she’s genuinely interested in you, give information about yourself that will help her get to know you. Here are some tips on how to keep a conversation going with a girl even when you’re talking about yourself:
- Talk about the things you have in common
- Tell her interesting things about yourself and the experiences you’ve had
- Try to bring up fun and engaging stories to make her laugh or gasp
8. Have a random conversation with no ulterior motive
It doesn’t take a dating coach to tell you that it’s best not to stress too much about how to keep a convo going with a girl. If you overthink what to talk about with a girl, you may end up drawing a blank. Remember, not every conversation has to evolve into deeper, meaningful discussions. You can talk about random things as well, as long as you’re both enjoying it.
These random conversation topics can help you discover new things about each other, come up with some inside jokes, and bring you closer. Playful banter can be a great way to cement a budding connection. Besides, if the regular conversation topics aren’t quite cutting it with the girl you’ve been talking to, asking her something silly and making her laugh her heart out might just help break the ice.
9. Bring up things she is passionate about
How to carry a conversation, you ask? Don’t presume she will be interested in the same things as you. While it’s great to find some common ground to build a connection on, it’s also unlikely that 100% of your interests and passions will match. So, whenever you feel that the conversation is dying down, shift focus to the things she is passionate about. Here are some ideas on the things to talk about with your crush:
- If she loves watching movies, ask her what her favorite film is and why it resonates with her so much (Subtly throw in the new movie that’s releasing next week and let her know you’d be more than happy to take her)
- Ask her about her childhood or any favorite memory from her childhood days
- If she says she loves traveling, ask her which country is next on her bucket list
Related Reading: 5 Tips To Talk To An Attractive Girl
10. Make vague plans with her
If you’re wondering how to keep a convo going with a girl, giving her something to look forward to might do the trick. So, drop in a line hinting at the possibility of you two getting together sometime or doing stuff together. You can hint at vague plans by saying something like,
- “So, there’s this great coffee place I found, we should go there sometime!” if she mentions she likes coffee
- “I love spending weekends at a rock-climbing gym. You should come along one of these days” if she says she trying to up her fitness game
- “There is a nice Karaoke bar I know of. How about we make a night of it soon” if she says she loves music
It goes without saying that vague plans should be made once you have a decent enough connection with her. If she enjoys talking to you, it will give her something to look forward to and let her know that you’re interested in going out with her. If she seems keen or follows up on those plans, there’s your cue to ask her out. See, talking to girls isn’t that hard.
11. Don’t force the conversation
It takes time to build a connection with someone. That’s why if her body language or her texts begin to portray that she is uncomfortable, walk away instead of forcing a conversation. It’s your biggest hint that she isn’t interested. No amount of interesting conversation starters on her favorite topics, compliments on what she’s wearing, and icebreakers are going to make your case.
12. Avoid asking personal questions
How to have a conversation with a girl to get her interested in you, you ask? Steer clear of personal questions in the early talking stage. She may feel uncomfortable or backed into a corner if you start asking her about her personal life, past relationships, or dating history too soon. If you sense she isn’t keen on talking about a topic you’ve brought up, backtrack.
13. How to keep the conversation going with a girl — Let your eyes do some talking
If you want to know how to be interesting to a girl when you meet her in person, learn to flirt with your eyes. The eye contact game is essential to make her feel like you have eyes only for her. Some playful teasing with your eyes can be far more effective than words. You just have to know when to look at her and when to stop. If she looks back into your eyes while you gaze at her, it’s a clear sign you have a real connection with her.
14. Pay her compliments
Whether you are wondering how to have a conversation with a girl over text or in person, paying her a genuine compliment is a great way to break the ice. These compliments don’t necessarily have to be about her looks. In fact, it can be far more effective to show appreciation for her personality, her mind, her passions, or her capabilities. It shows that you’ve been paying attention to the person she is. Here are some compliments that work like a charm:
- I admire how passionate you are about animal rights
- You’re such a good listener
- I loved the story you wrote for the magazine
- You have a great dressing sense
Related Reading: 35 Best Conversation Topics If You Are In A Long-Distance Relationship
15. Flirt naturally
Tasteful flirtation is the key to figuring out how to make conversation interesting with a girl. When you’re talking to this amazing girl who has your heart aflutter, flirting will likely come to you naturally. However, if you feel a move you have been wanting to make might make you come off too strong, here are some safe plays you can try:
- Smile when you look into her eyes (not in a creepy way though)
- Know when to touch her (ONLY if she’s okay with that) and when to keep your hands to yourself
- Use some funny yet flirty conversation starters like “It is so hot! And you being in the room just makes it hotter! ”
- Mirror her body language
- Compliment her smile, tell her she’s beautiful
- Laugh if she is saying something funny
16. Don’t interrupt her when she’s speaking
As we said, one of the simplest answers to how to carry a conversation with a girl is to give her room to express her thoughts and opinions. Regardless of whether or not her thoughts align with yours, do not interrupt her when she’s speaking. Even if you disagree with her, extend her the courtesy of letting her finish what she has to say and then politely put forward your point. And unless what she is saying is so outlandish that you just cannot let it slide, we recommend you avoid getting into a debate altogether.
Bono tip: Give her your full attention, maintain eye contact if you can, and smile. This is how to keep the conversation going with a girl and make her look forward to talking to you.
17. Smoothly transition to a different topic if she is losing interest
To figure out how to carry a conversation with a girl seamlessly, you need to develop a keen eye for when it begins to lag. If that happens and you see the signs she has lost interest, transition to another topic swiftly. Here are some ways you can do that:
- More on this later, for now, tell me about that project you’ve been working on
- Enough about me, why don’t you tell me how your weekend was
- Anyway, so that was that. I have been meaning to ask, what made you swipe right on me
18. You can also gossip a little with her
Wondering how to make conversation interesting with a girl? Well, you can rarely go wrong with a healthy dose of gossip. If you move in the same social circle or have mutual friends, dish out a little goss or ask her to. There’s a reason we’re recommending this. When you are gossiping with someone, you foster a certain amount of trust in each other. It’s a great way to strengthen the bond. Keep it non-toxic though.
Related Reading: 65 Funny Texts To Get Her Attention And Make Her Text You
19. Don’t make the conversation all about you
There is nothing more frustrating than listening to someone go on and on about their life. A conversation involves two people. If you keep talking about your friends and work life, it’s only natural that she’d get bored and lose interest. The answer to how to carry a conversation lies in letting the discussion flow both ways.
20. Offer to buy her a drink or dinner
This is a classic move and a time-tested answer to how to have a conversation with a girl. If you meet a girl at a coffee shop, restaurant, or bar, offer to buy her something. But don’t expect something in return, those are not the qualities of a good man. If she accepts the drink, beverage, or food item, there’s a good chance she’s interested in having a conversation with you. Use this opportunity to learn more about her and find common ground to connect on. For example:
- She likes her coffee black? So do you. Tell how you can’t do life without coffee and bond over the fact that you’re both coffee lovers
- She likes gin and tonic? Share an interesting story where you had G and T with friends and build the conversation from there
- Is she vegan? Tell her how much you appreciate the vegan lifestyle
Bono tip: Offer to pay for the meal. If she insists on splitting, don’t get defensive. Just split the bill gracefully.
21. Notice more than just her appearance
Yes, she is beautiful. While it’s natural to appreciate good looks, you certainly won’t be the first one to tell her so. To make a girl think about you, you need to set yourself apart. One simple way of doing that is noticing and appreciating things beyond her physical appearance. Listed below are some compliments that aren’t about her looks:
- I really like the way you think
- You’re very smart. I would like to pick your brain more on that AI thing
- You speak so well
- You really are an incredible painter
22. Send her a meme
How to keep the conversation going with a girl over text, you wonder? Send her memes. Memes are perhaps the internet’s greatest gifts to mankind. They convey so much without you having to search for the right words, they fill in for the lack of facial expressions over text conversations, they are sure to elicit laughter, and are a great way to break the nice. When you see a meme that reminds you of her, send it to her, along with the text: “This reminded me of you.” This will let her know you think about her when she isn’t around.
23. Keep your phone away
Here is a tip on how to have a conversation with a girl that we cannot overstate: when you meet her in person, put your phone on silent, put it away, and forget that it exists. There is nothing more annoying than talking to someone who is constantly checking their phone. Even if the conversation doesn’t particularly interest you, try to pay attention to what she is trying to say. If you can’t stay engaged with the topic at hand, by all means, swerve the conversation in another direction. But do not seek refuge in your phone. It’s downright disrespectful and rude.
Related Reading: 150 Truth Or Drink Questions: Swirl Some Fun, Sizzle, Kinks, And Romance
24. Don’t talk about your exes
If you want to keep a girl interested in talking to you, steer clear of talking about your exes. There is just no scenario where this can play out well for you. Talk about an ex too fondly, and she may view it as a sign you’re not over her. On the other hand, badmouthing an ex is also a red flag. The safest bet is to not let the ‘ex’ factor cast a shadow over a budding connection. If things go well and you end up with each other, there will come a time when you can discuss your past with her. But not when you’re still getting to know each other
25. Send her good morning text messages
Let’s wrap up this guide on how to keep the conversation going with a girl with a simple yet effective tip. Send her good morning text messages. It’s a subtle way of telling her she is on your mind as you start your day, no matter how busy or hectic it looks. It will definitely bring a smile to her face. The same goes for good night texts. Here are some tasteful good morning and good night texts you can send a girl you’re interested in:
- Good morning, beautiful! Hope you have an amazing day
- Rise and shine! I hope your day is as radiant and wonderful as your smile
- Hey there! Just wanted to let you I’m thinking of you
- Good morning! Here’s to a brand new day filled with endless possibilities.
- Good night, gorgeous! Sweet dreams and sleep well!
- Sending you a virtual hug. Good night!
- Wishing you a cozy night and dreamy sleep. Good night!
- Time to hit the hay! Good night. Catch you in the morning!
Now that you know all about how to keep the conversation going with a girl, what are you waiting for? Pick up your phone and shoot her that perfect text that will make her want to reply instantly. And don’t forget to follow it up with a meeting IRL soon. After all, you don’t want the momentum to die down.
FAQs
What to talk about with a girl, you wonder? You can start with questions about her or her interests and opinions. What matters most is that you ask open-ended questions that spark a conversation and not just yes or no replies. You could talk about her experiences, her goals, what she likes to do, and what she thinks about certain things. If she asks about you, talk about some nice experiences you’ve had in your life.
Being witty will help your cause, but don’t let the pressure of being witty keep you racking your brain for hours on end. Just be yourself and text her and forget all that pressure to be funny. Be courteous, but not too eager to impress. By being a good listener and being a little witty, you will be doing more than enough to keep the conversation going.
If it’s your first time texting her, texting anything instead of “hey” or “what’s up” will get the conversation flowing. Try to pick something up from her bio that you can comment on to get things started. You can pay her compliments (but don’t go overboard) or throw in open-ended questions you know she’ll like answering.
Perhaps start off with the basic questions. Ask her where she works, where she is from, and what she does for fun. Then maybe you can dive into more fun questions like whether she likes roller-skating or how she drinks her coffee. Reading the room is incredibly important so you don’t seem weird. Don’t start a conversation with “Do you like the beach?”
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