We all know how intimidating it can be to text your latest match on your dating app. Or to go up and introduce yourself to a girl, hoping for the best. While your mind may be racing before you even start the conversation, once you do, it won’t feel like work if you manage to stay calm. How to keep a conversation going with a girl is not really rocket science.
If you’re the kind of person who overthinks what your first message should be, only to come up with nothing after hours of deliberation, this article will do you some good.
If you’re an introvert, we know just how hard it is to keep a conversation going with anyone. Halfway into it you realize you’d much rather have your earphones on, listening to music. Hopefully, with the ideas listed out in this article for you, having a fun conversation with a girl won’t give you the jitters.
How You Can Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl
We’ve all had that nervous conversation with a pretty girl, you know the one, in which you can’t help but think that she’s staring at that pimple you just had to get last night. When a friend says “What’s the worst that can happen?” while trying to motivate you to talk to a girl, I’m quite sure that you’re gonna spend all of your time overthinking the many answers to that question instead of actually going and talking her!
When you’re busy stressing about whether she sees you sweating through your scalp, it gets rather hard to think of topics to keep the conversation going. But the minute you stop worrying about what you look like, things will get easier. Standing under an air conditioner helps too.
Chatting with girls is a whole different ballgame altogether. How to start a conversation might have you stressed out, but It doesn’t have to be as nerve-racking as people make it out to be. To make sure your next conversation is a more engaging one, take a look at the following 10 ways to keep a conversation going with a girl:
1. Don’t hey and pray
Meaning, don’t just send a boring “hey!” to every match you get, praying for the best. Saying an astonishingly boring “hi” is no longer allowed. Throw it out of your mind, don’t let it back in. Neither is “what’s up?”. When you’re hit with a “nothing much!” in reply, you’ll realize that you’ve essentially killed your whole conversation already! Make it a rule to never use these most boring openers – you’ll damage your chances of keeping a conversation going right from the beginning.
Instead, while looking to maintain a conversation with a girl and trying to find interesting ways to chat, start out by asking her about something she mentioned in her bio. If there’s a common interest, start out with that.
If you’re wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl, give yourself the best possible start, choose something safe and normal like any shared interests.
Related Reading: How To Talk To Women And Impress Them Instantly
2. Don’t be too eager to impress
Once you’ve sent your opener that’s not just a boring “hey”, it’s now time to keep the daydreaming in check. Especially on dating apps, where everyone’s guilty of building a certain image of their match in their head. From a bunch of photos and a shabby bio, you’ve now made up a personality profile of her in your own head!
In your quest to impress this girl, you might just come off a tad bit creepy sometimes. We’d recommend not overdoing it with the puns about her name or better yet, avoid it altogether. Puns can very quickly go from receiving an “aww!” to an “okay, stop.” Knowing how to make a girl laugh will help, but don’t worry too much about it
Consider not double texting if you don’t receive a reply, especially if you two have just started talking. When you’re not too worried about impressing this girl, the performance anxiety will subside.
3. Ask her about herself
Is she a beer person or a teetotaler? Does she enjoy camping or prefer visiting museums? Why is she interested in the things she’s interested in? Where does she stand on the issue of punishments for juvenile delinquents? Okay, maybe not that last one, unless you two meet at a moot court or some kind of legal eagle situation.
To make the conversation flow, consider asking her questions about herself that she can’t reply to with a simple yes or no. When you appear genuinely interested, she will enjoy talking about herself with you. It should also show you that she likes you enough to tell you about herself. That should get the ball rolling!
4. Be yourself, devoid of any pressure
If you’re wondering about ways to keep a conversation going with a girl, the answer is the same way you keep a conversation going with anyone else. Try not to be anxious or stressed when approaching a girl you want to talk to. Consider her as just another person you happened to meet in your life. Try not to let your anxiety convince you that she’ll splash her drink on your face (It won’t happen, we swear).
When you’re not worried about trying to impress or not feeling the pressure to perform, you won’t try to make your conversation a theatrical performance. You’ll be more at ease, hence coming off as inviting and confident. You should give some thought to how to fix any social anxiety you may have.
If there’s one thing we’ve been told since the Stone Age, it’s that girls like a guy who’s confident. You know what to do!
5. Be courteous
Every time anyone describes someone, chances are they’ll start with “s/he’s nice!”. Since this is the first thing people notice about you and the first trait people talk about to a third party, make sure you don’t come off as patronizing.
Wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl? There won’t be one if you’re busy mansplaining. Stray far away from any condescending tones or remarks. Being “nice” is pretty much a pre-requisite if you want to maintain a conversation with anyone really, be it a love interest or the bartender who just won’t look your way.
6. Match her energy
When it comes down to it, compatibility is all about how well your energy/vibes get along. If she’s excited about something, show her you’re excited for her. A bunch of exclamation marks will do the trick. How to keep a conversation going with a girl can be as easy as that. If you do things right, you might even be able to tell if she likes you over texts.
Be empathetic, match her emotions and your conversations will instantly become that much more engaging. You won’t be googling things like “questions to ask your girl” anymore. That being said, you can only match the energy if she’s displaying any in the first place. If she’s as animated as a scarecrow, perhaps consider moving on.
Related Reading: How To Date A Girl Out Of Your League
7. Tell her about yourself (if she asks)
If she’s genuinely interested in you, give information about yourself that will help her get to know you. Don’t just tell her how you spent last Friday at home on your laptop, eating takeaway food. Make sure you tell her interesting things about yourself and the experiences you’ve had.
If she asks what you like to do, mention traveling and back it up with a story about the time you backpacked across western Europe (any FRIENDS fans here?). If you like music and you’ve been to some nice concerts, tell her about those. Maybe don’t tell her about all those EDM festivals you went to while you were in college, though. Unless you want to be instantly judged.
8. Random conversations can be fun
And they can lead to inside jokes as well. Once the first day of texting/initial conversation has been achieved, having random funny conversations with her can make her laugh. If you’re wondering about things to ask her to keep the conversion going, asking her random things like what her favorite BuzzFeed video is might initiate a pleasant conversation about the Try Guys getting their bones cracked.
You don’t need to ask about her major in college to get to know her better. Sometimes figuring out exactly what she’s like can take the backseat when an engaging conversation about something completely stupid will do just the trick.
9. Bring up things she might want to talk about
If you’ve gotten to know her a little bit, things to ask her to keep the conversation going revolve around how you can understand what she wants to talk about. For example, if she says “I was watching this movie by David Fincher”, notice how she mentioned the director and not the movie. Ask her why she likes the director and strike up a conversation about his movies.
Interesting ways to chat and make the conversation flow only take place if you talk about the things she’s interested in. So don’t start off on a rant about your favorite sports team ruining your weekend by losing their match, unless she’s into that of course.
Related Reading: 5 Tips To Talk To An Attractive Girl
10. Make vague plans
Making vague plans is saying something along the lines of “Yeah there’s this great coffee place I found, we should go there sometime!” when she mentions she likes coffee. It goes without saying that vague plans should be made once you have a decent enough connection with her.
The benefit of this includes establishing that you’re interested in going out with her and seeing how she responds to it. You’ll get to know if she actually wants to follow up with those plans without you having to actually ask her out completely. It could eventually even lead to a fun conversation about what you two might do when you go there.
If you’re looking for ways to keep a conversation going with a girl, look no further than inside yourself and dig out that confidence. When you stop overthinking what you should ask and what your replies should be to her questions, you’ll see that chatting with a girl is no longer a daunting task.
Things to ask her to keep the conversation going can be questions about herself, or her interests and opinions. What matters most is that you ask open-ended questions that will initiate a conversation and not just yes or no replies.
You could talk about her experiences, her goals, what she likes to do and what she thinks about certain things. If she asks, talk about some nice experiences you’ve had in your life.
Being witty will help your cause, but don’t let the pressure of being witty keep you racking your brain for hours on end. Just be yourself and text her and forget all that pressure to be funny. Be courteous, but not too eager to impress. By being a good listener and being a little witty, you will be doing more than enough to keep the conversation going.
If it’s your first time texting her, texting anything instead of “hey” or “what’s up” will get the conversation flowing. Try to pick something up from her bio that you can comment on to help get things started.
While chatting with a girl, you can text her compliments (but don’t go overboard) or throw in open-ended questions you know she’ll like answering.