My girlfriend of seven years is marrying someone else and I’m feeling used and discarded

Snigdha Mishra
worried man standing near wall

Hello Ma’am,

I have been in a relationship with a girl for the past 7 years. It was a long-distance relationship. I was in so love with her. She used to say, I am doing my higher studies because you give me the strength to do it. We are from different religions. She used to say we will stay in a relationship as long as we can…

I trusted that at some point of time she would tell her parents about our relationship. But she didn’t… and after completing her higher studies, within a few months, her marriage got fixed. She did nothing for our relationship. Didn’t say a single word about our relationship to her parents. She is going to get married next month. I feel depressed. I feel like a toy that was used, thrown away… What do I do?


Snigdha Mishra says:

Dear Aadi,

It’s okay to feel depressed and sad because when bad things happen we feel bad.

Maybe it was time: You’ve mentioned that you’d decided that you’ll be together till you can. Maybe this was it? This was the time she thought she could be with you.

I understand that since you were together for long, you may have hoped that you’ll end up together. It’s okay to hope, but to think that hope will have to become a reality, can be sometimes extremely disappointing when things don’t go our way or as we’d hoped. Isn’t it?

It’s ok to grieve: Look back, let it repeat in your head that you had decided that you go on till you can and for her, this was that time. It may help you understand the situation better. Also, let yourself grieve about the loss of a relationship. It’s natural to feel sad. So please don’t beat yourself up about it. Talk to your friends and socialise. Maintain your routine and do what you normally do in your life. Help yourself rationalise the incident. It may help to remove her from your social media.

Try this for two weeks, if you still feel as bad, please connect for help.

Wish you the best,
Snigdha

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1 comment

Vasudha Tripathi
Vasudha Tripathi August 4, 2018 - 10:14 pm

May be you can talk to her… But may be she does not have that much feelings for you that she strive for it.. It is okay.. Your biggest identity is you.. Identity and support.

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