What a guy goes through when a girl makes the first move
So, all this while, you’ve been thinking that women never make the first move? Considering how all of us have been raised to believe and propagate some useless myths about how love works, we don’t blame you. But you couldn’t be more wrong! In this day and age, more women than ever have been taking the first step, but it still isn’t enough to debunk the stereotypes that we’ve managed to preserve. In fact, this idea of the man as the pursuer and the woman as the object of his pursuit is so deep-rooted – thanks to Bollywood – that many women refrain from appearing too ‘out there’. Ah! Good old systematic conditioning! But that’s hardly all.
Men are raised to believe that they have to be the ones approaching. “Why?” you ask? Well, it’s part of the implied terms and conditions they ship in with a penis. Back to the real question. Long story short, most guys – whether they admit it or not – love it when a woman takes the first step. Whether it’s asking for his phone number, being the first one to lean in, or leading the bed game on the first night, women surprise most men by saving the back seat for them. Here are five things that a man goes through when a woman gets the ball (no puns intended, we swear) rolling.
Related reading: 18 bad social habits that can make you undateable
The izzat factor
Ask any guy and he’ll tell you what a daunting task it is to ask someone out. Let’s be honest here. All of us have had tons of crushes. But how many of them did we actually act on? That’s because it takes guts to approach a person. Believing that the onus of taking the first step is on them leads most guys to approach women left, right, and centre, which leads to a lot of rejection. And if you’re a guy who’s approached women even after that, you know what it takes. Women, if you’re considering asking that guy out, do it! Whatever his answer may be, he’ll have nothing but the utmost respect for you.
Women, if you’re considering asking that guy out, do it! Whatever his answer may be, he’ll have nothing but the utmost respect for you.
Confidence for both!
Men have been there. They’ve approached women after a thousand rehearsals, revised their scripts over and over again, and found themselves fumbling when actually in front of these women. Thanks to countless years of conditioning, confidence in a woman seems to many people a new sight. So, if you’re leaning in for that kiss, chances are that he’s going to love it! Also, being asked out by a woman is a source of great pride for most men. It makes them feel confident about themselves, too. Trust us when we say that they’ll make no bones about wearing your confidence as a badge of honour and boasting about you to their friends.
He finds it sexy
You don’t necessarily have to be a man to appreciate someone who shows signs of power and fearlessness. Now, men find it appealing for two reasons. First, a lot of men find the woman who knows how to take charge – whatever the situation may be – incredibly sexy. Trained to appear powerful and dominating, men will often try to loosen up in bed by being dominated! Second, power goes hand in hand with sex appeal. Since it’s mostly men who ask women out, the power to accept or reject resides with women. But when a man is asked out, he derives pleasure from his newfound position of power!
Related reading: 8 little things in a woman which can make you fall in love with her
Meet the awkward dude! You’ve popped the question, but this guy looks in everypossible direction except yours! And his incoherent mumblings don’t seem to make much sense. It’s not that he’s trying to be disrespectful. It’s just you’ve melted the façade of aggression and authority that he’s been working on for years! No matter how intimidating you might have found him before this, in this moment of vulnerability, you’ll see the cupcake that he really is. And awkwardness is one of the very genuine feelings that makes you relate to a person. Who knows? Maybe that’ll make you want him even more!
And then, of course, there’s this guy. This is the guy who is very, very conscious of his balls. If he sees a woman as a threat to his masculinity, he’ll sit her down and offer his detailed theory about the things that women shouldn’t be doing. Once you’ve made your move, chances are that he’ll stare at you with raised eyebrows. It’s only when he gets to his friends that he’ll rant about how inappropriately ‘forward’ you were.
Exceptions aside, most guys want to be approached by women. So, if you’re a woman who’s been dying to make that first move, but you’re afraid of coming off as needy, we suggest you screw the stereotypes and go for it!