A friend, in trying to get into the mind of her boyfriend, confessed to me once, “I sometimes feel like I’m deciphering a secret code. What do guys like in a relationship? What’s the secret ingredient that makes them tick? What’s with their mysterious aura?” If you, too, have ever wondered what floats a guy’s boat or how to truly hit his ‘appreciation button,’ you’re not alone. We’ve all had those burning questions about what guys love about a woman: What’s the key to making him feel special? How do we crack the code to his heart?
This article is here to be your wing person, as we spill the 23 adorable gestures that guys often secretly dote on. We’re not just dishing out a list; we’re digging into the whys and hows behind their preferences. Picture this as your guidebook to understand what makes your guy feel safe, cherished, and loved. Now let’s delve into what guys think is attractive, and learn a trick or two!
23 Things Guys Like Their Girlfriends To Do
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Ever wondered why some guys find it tricky to spill the beans about their feelings or ask for love outright? Well, psychology gives us a sneak peek into this mystery. You know, a study from the American Psychological Association suggests that from a young age, boys are taught that “showing emotion is a sign of weakness.” It’s a big no-no when a man is vulnerable because they are told, “Hey, big boys don’t cry!” So, expressing feelings or asking for love might feel like a tightrope walk, thanks to these old-school ideas about how guys should be tough and stoic.
But fear not. We have compiled this list of 23 sweet gestures that speak louder than words and bridge the way to their hearts. Let’s discuss what guys love about a woman:
1. Your boyfriend loves your random acts of affection
In the first place, what do guys like their girlfriends to do? Show physical affection! Simple, hug him and give him a beautiful smile. Ever surprised your boyfriend with a random hug or a sweet peck? Guys absolutely adore it. Such small romantic gestures of physical affection work like magic. So, go ahead and sneak in those surprise cuddles or steal a quick kiss when he’s least expecting it.
These tiny moments pack a punch in making him feel comfortable, cherished, and loved. A Reddit user answers the same question with heartwarming details, “Whenever we meet up, after the first few minutes of getting situated either sitting down or walking/driving to wherever we’re going, she’ll take like ten seconds to just look at me and then smile. Makes me feel like she’s happy to see me.”
2. He finds it adorable when you express appreciation for him
What do men look for in a girlfriend? Let’s paint a picture. Let’s say you’re chilling with your boyfriend, and you notice he’s done something thoughtful — maybe made dinner or helped out without being asked. Ever noticed how you saying a sincere “thank you” or acknowledging his efforts lights up his face? That’s the power of appreciation.
When you give credit where it’s due, it works wonders. Feeling appreciated creates a deeper bond in successful relationships, making both partners happier and more satisfied. Take a moment to let him know how much you value his contributions, whether big or small. It’s these little acts of recognition that sprinkle magic all over your relationship.
Related Reading: Romantic Texting: The 11 Tips To Swear By (With Examples)
3. When you plan the next adventure
A Bonobology reader from Connecticut recently asked us, “Do guys care about looks or personality? What do guys like in a relationship beyond these aspects?” Well, initiative!
Have you noticed how your boyfriend’s eyes sparkle when you take the lead in planning an exotic couples trip or suggest a cozy evening together? It’s one of the things guys secretly like in a girl. There’s something about your initiative that speaks volumes to him. Guys love girls who take charge because it shows a genuine interest in spending time and creating memories together.
4. When you surprise him with random sweet texts
Those unexpected messages are going to make him feel happy for the whole day! Getting random sweet texts from their partners is one of the cute things guys find irresistible. Here’s why:
- It appeals to their desire for affirmation and emotional connection
- These surprises remind them that they’re on their partner’s mind
- It fulfills the psychological need for reassurance and emotional closeness
- It makes them feel deeply cared for and loved
Do you want him to think about you from the time he wakes up till he closes his eyes at night? Try sending a sweet message as the first text of the day. These little things can light up his day without a word spoken.
5. When you’re the first to cheer for his wins, big or small
An attractive trait for him is when you cheer him on. When you celebrate his every day or career-defining accomplishments, it’s like sprinkling the seeds to keep a relationship strong and healthy. It’s what men want in a woman, and here’s why it’s important:
- Many guys secretly find it attractive when their partners notice their wins ‘before’ anyone else
- Cheering for his milestones strengthens your bond, showing him that you’re there to celebrate his victories with a big pat on his back
- It makes him feel truly seen, appreciated, and valued
- To put it simply, men want to be recognized for their efforts
Related Reading: 25 Body Language Signs A Man Is In Love With You
6. What do boys find attractive? When you crack inside jokes
When it comes to humor, what do guys like the most? It’s when you remember an inside joke that makes you both let out a good laugh and leaves you in stitches. Those inside jokes are more than just funny; they’re like secret codes that create a world just for the two of you. It’s fascinating how these moments of laughter build a special connection and make everything more fun.
For guys, it’s about camaraderie and emotional closeness. It’s like having a language only the two of you understand. Sharing a sense of humor with your boyfriend strengthens the bond in a way that’s uniquely yours.
7. When you listen with undivided attention, he falls for you even more
It’s just something that makes a man adore a woman. Guys swoon over girls who captivate them with their full attention. What does a guy like about this and why is it important to be a good listener? Let’s see:
- It fulfills their psychological need for significance and validation
- It communicates that you value their thoughts and feelings
- It nurtures a sense of respect and understanding in the relationship
- All of this contributes to their emotional well-being, thus deepening the bond between you both
8. When you excitedly support your boyfriend’s passions and hobbies
What do men look for in a girlfriend? If there’s one thing guys love, it’s sharing their hobbies with their partners. When you show genuine interest in your man’s hobbies, it appeals to his psyche. Generally speaking, it resonates with his need for acceptance and support. By engaging with his passions, you show that you appreciate his individuality, making him feel validated and understood.
That reminds me of how my brother and his wife met each other years ago. It was at a soccer match screening at a bar. They were both cheering for the same team and immediately felt sparks flying between them. My brother confessed to me before their wedding that a shared passion for sports was how he knew he’d marry her that day itself.
Related Reading: 101 Hobbies For Couples – Make Quality Time Count
9. When you become playful and light-hearted in his presence
Ever noticed how when you play games together, you just let go and become carefree? — That’s what moments of light-heartedness do. Your boyfriend secretly appreciates these carefree times with you. It’s like a small vacation from the stresses of life. It’s among those beautiful things guys secretly like in a girl. Being playful together taps into their desire for a relaxed and enjoyable connection where they can be more comfortable and vulnerable with you. When the playfulness is missing, guys tend to interpret it as a lack of emotional connection.
10. Your partner secretly enjoys it when you encourage his self-care
What do guys like to do, but hesitate making it a regular part of their lives? Self-care. You might like to know the answer to “What smell do guys like on a girl?” Valid, but take it one step ahead. Do you think about the fragrances men like to indulge in when they are on their own? Or when they meditate? What kind of book do they like to read when no one’s judging them? Or what kind of bath salts do some of them use?
When you encourage your guy’s self-care routine or nudge him to take breaks, it reflects your concern for his well-being. One time, my friend suggested a spa day at home with her boyfriend as a last-minute date idea. He was reluctant at first but by the end of the night felt too relaxed and fresh to let it be a one-time thing. Now he has his own skin care routine and takes advice from my friend all the time for skin care and other personal care recommendations. Subsequently, they established a new dynamic to bond over.
11. When you share vulnerabilities and emotions
What do men want in a relationship that helps them open up? — It’s when you reveal your own cards. It’s as simple as that. Engage in honest and open communication where you share your vulnerabilities. For guys, this emotional intimacy builds trust, understanding, and a deeper connection. When you open up, it creates a safe space that your man would like to dip into as well.
For more emotional security and support in the relationship, these discussions should involve:
- Mutual listening
- Willingness to feel relaxed and vulnerable
12. When you have a strong bond with his inner circle
My friend Sol is a man deeply connected to his close-knit group of friends and family. His girlfriend, Vera, not only bonds effortlessly with his inner circle but actively engages in their conversations and shared activities. One day, as they all gathered for a casual get-together, Sol observed Vera seamlessly fitting into the banter, sharing laughter, and connecting with each person.
It was like she’d always been a part of the gang. Witnessing this, Sol felt a warmth in his heart, realizing that his girlfriend’s bond with his inner circle not only enhanced their collective joy but also symbolized a unified support system. This is exactly what men want in a woman.
13. What do guys like? They love it when you offer help
Guys secretly find it attractive when their partners notice their need for help. When you offer assistance, it fulfills their need for collaboration and support, making them feel loved and appreciated in the relationship. Your readiness to assist speaks volumes about your commitment to him. Here are some things that guys love about you:
- Lending a hand with daily tasks
- Being a sounding board
- Actively engaging in problem-solving
14. When you remember important dates
You must have celebrated anniversaries or birthdays with your boyfriend, right? But did you know it makes him secretly giddy inside? Recognizing these milestones fulfills his need for recognition and affection, making him feel valued and loved.
Many men love it when their partners remember little occasions. Whether it’s planning surprises or simply acknowledging the significance of these dates, it reaffirms the importance of your relationship and the cherished moments shared between you two. That brings us to the next point.
Related Reading: 25 Cute And Sweet Ways To Surprise Your Boyfriend
15. When you remember shared moments
What guys notice about you is when you recall and cherish all the sweet times you have experienced with them. A kind recollection from a caring woman like you holds immense significance in their hearts. It’s one of the small things that cater to their need for shared nostalgia and acknowledgment of the relationship’s memory bank. Remembering these moments strengthens the emotional connection, emphasizing the value you place on the journey that you’ve undertaken together.
16. When you accept him for who he is, it melts his heart
Celebrating your partner’s individuality and unique qualities is the most important thing. It is one of the many things that makes a man adore a woman. Embracing his uniqueness brings him closer to you as it highlights the beauty in your differences, fostering an environment where he feels truly valued and accepted for being himself.
17. What do boys find attractive? When you speak your mind
One of the things that men hate is when they are expected to meet unstated expectations. Men (or women) aren’t attuned that way. You must have heard the “I am no mind-reader” phrase often, haven’t you? While the bare minimum should not be begged for, if you have specific expectations, communicate them to your guy. Your life would be a lot easier.
And if you figure out a way to put forward your thoughts in a way that doesn’t sound like an accusation, it can be a major turn-on for him. Clarity of expectations in the relationship is one of the things guys find irresistible about their girlfriends.
Related Reading: Dating An Introvert – 11 Communication Hacks To Use
18. When you motivate his personal growth
What do men want in a relationship? A partner who empowers them by supporting their growth. It fulfills their need for encouragement and emotional support. Encouraging your partner’s personal growth demonstrates that you’re invested in his success and happiness. Acts and words of mutual support will always strengthen a relationship, creating an environment where you both can thrive individually and together. It makes your relationship a happy place for both of you.
19. You become more lovable in his eyes when you express unwavering trust in him
It’s one of the qualities men look for. Demonstrating trust in your partner is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It fulfills their need for respect. Showing faith in your man’s judgment and choices makes him feel good about the place he holds in the partnership.
A Reddit user shares what he likes about his girlfriend, “She looks at me first when looking for support/confirmation/advice.” This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t use her own judgment, it simply means you’re part of the decision-making.
20. When you respect his need for personal space
What guys notice about you is how much you respect their need for personal time and space. Men find it one of the most attractive things about a woman.
- It aligns with their desire for independence and freedom
- Granting personal space communicates your respect for his boundaries, making him feel valued and understood
- This space can vary from allowing moments of solitude to pursuing individual interests, creating a healthy balance between togetherness and independence within the relationship
Related Reading: Importance of Respect In A Relationship
21. When you share everyday moments with him
Finding joy in everyday routines and mundane moments with you feels good and incredibly special to him. It caters to his need for shared intimacy and comfort. Sharing these moments with him creates a deeper bond, highlighting the beauty in simplicity. It reinforces the value of togetherness in ordinary moments, helping build a secure relationship. Honestly, it’s one of the best things you can do together.
22. You warm his heart when you surprise him with small gifts
What does a guy like? Receiving a small token of appreciation. So, do that if you haven’t in a while. Let’s see why these surprises from you are more than just gifts for him:
- They’re symbols of affection and appreciation
- Surprising him with small gifts make him feel seen and loved
- These actions don’t have to be big; they just need to show that you care. A small gesture from you would make his eyes shine
23. When you encourage and welcome open communication
When you actively try to aim for open and honest communication, it leads to a strong relationship in the long run. Every man needs trust and transparency in his romantic bond so you can both express yourselves freely. Open communication is the most important thing for a couple, it allows for understanding and growth, laying the groundwork for a deeper connection and mutual respect within the relationship.
So, there you have it, folks. A solid list of qualities men look for and adorable gestures that can make a guy’s heart skip a beat. Now you can stop wondering, “Do guys care about looks or personality?” Men are much more complex than that. And clearly, uncovering what guys think is attractive has revealed diverse perspectives on care and charm. But let’s face it, decoding guys isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. Just like we’ve got our unique quirks, guys have their individual likes and dislikes too.
Remember, in order to understand what men want in a woman, empathy and communication are the real stars of the show. Understanding your partner’s vibe and quirks, tuning in to their emotions, and having those heart-to-heart chats — Now, that’s the golden ticket to any relationship.