Despite being dressed perfectly on your first date, is it ending without any concrete result? Are you continuously failing to capture the attention of potential partners around you? If your answer to both these questions is yes, then it is high time you evaluate the social habits which are making you undateable. Dating is the first step that you take towards establishing a long-lasting relationship with someone. However, if you are unable to put your best foot forward during the dates, then probably you will have to say goodbye to the idea of finding someone special.
What is meant by being ‘undateable’?
Urban dictionary defines undateable ‘as an individual so flawed that they cannot possibly be dated by anyone’. A person becomes undateable because of certain characteristics and behaviours that he/she indulges in. An undateable person does things that make the other person lose interest in him/her. He/she even seems exciting and interesting over chats and text messages, but lacks these traits when one meets him/her in person.
People who are undateable often feel unloved, unsuccessful, unwanted and overlooked. People who call themselves undateable think that they do not deserve someone’s attention and love and that they are unfit for relationships. But this is an extremely negative view which must not be harboured by any one.
Remember, undateability does not have anything to do with your looks, meeting the wrong people or lacking dating experience. You become undateable because of some habits that you exhibit and if you get rid of them, you will surely become dateable.
7 Signs of being undateable
Being undateable can cause a lot of issues in your love life, because you will either be aware of your undateability or you will be unconsciously stepping into the undateable zone. Here are the signs of being undateable which will help you realise whether you are undateable or not.
- You are extremely picky when it comes to picking the people you date
- No one can impress you that easily, because you keep finding faults in other people all the time
- Single life seems freeing and so liberating to you that deep down you do not want to get rid of it
- Your work and career usually has the topmost priority in your life
- You cannot tolerate any nonsense whatsoever
- You are actually afraid, due to which you refrain from exploring the dating world
- You want everything to work according to your wishes, because of which you fail to compromise
Related reading: Mistakes men should avoid when on a date
If you want to become dateable and find a person who matches your wavelength, then you must work on yourself. Make sure that you do not give the undateable vibe to anyone who shows interest in you. Be accommodating, open and welcome true love in your life with all your heart.
18 Bad habits that make you undateable
While you should never attempt to transform yourself for another person and lose your essential characteristics, there are certain bad habits that you should get rid of in order to be successful in your love life. Let us list 18 such bad habits which make you undateable.
1. You are not comfortable with the idea of going out
You love the comfort of your home, so you do not go out with your friends and colleagues. This in turn hampers your chances of meeting someone new in your life. So, try to go out, explore new places and make new friends.
2. You keep yourself busy, sometimes uselessly
One look at your schedule will reveal that you keep yourself busy on purpose to avoid dates. Most of the time, you keep creating work for yourself uselessly so that you can stall meeting a person who has shown interest in you.
3. You do not pay much attention to the way you dress
When you want to impress someone, you do not have to go overboard with your outfit. But then you have to be presentable at least. However, you are a person who does not pay much attention to the way you dress, which usually works against you.
4. You keep brooding on the past
If in past relationships, you have faced issues of abuse, trust and infidelity, then your present relationships are marred because you are unable to get over these issues.
Related reading: 8 signs you are in a rebound relationship
5. You are very conceited
You are obsessed with yourself and always want to hear good things about yourself. This totally turns off a person who is genuinely interested in you.
6. You never initiate any conversations
When on a date you fail to initiate any conversations with the other person. You expect him/her to keep talking to you and entertain you. But you fail to reciprocate, which means you give the impression to the other person that you do not like him/her.
7. You are extremely competitive about everything
You have to understand that dating has no relation whatsoever to competition. Instead of making everything competitive between your date and yourself, you have to be humble and avoid sending wrong signals.
8. You give priority to the opinion of your family and friends
To a certain extent this is good. But then it does not mean that you keep listening to their opinions. The decision about your dating life should be your own decision and not based on the opinions of your family members and friends.
9. You tend to become clingy
No one wants a boyfriend/girlfriend who is too clingy. If on the first date itself you appear to be clingy, then it will probably not be a good thing for you. You must learn to be cool and casual, especially on your first date.
10. You try to hide your intelligence
You think that by acting stupid, you will look cute to the other person. But alas! This will work against you because no one really wants to date a dumb person. So make sure you exhibit your intelligence in an appropriate manner so that you do not overwhelm your date.
11. You set extremely high standards
The person who dates you has to live up to extremely high standards which are just silly and unrealistic. You must remember that you will not get the perfect guy/girl until you make the efforts to attract such a guy/girl.
12. You always suggest normal dates
Whenever it is your turn to plan a date, you suggest normal date ideas which are not refreshing. You should come up with out-of-the-box date ideas so that your date feels special.
Related reading: 7 amazing first date ideas
13. Your ‘me time’ is important for you
You always need your space and your ‘me time’, because of which your date is not able to get enough time to spend with you. Whenever your dates and your ‘me time’ clashes, you tend to give priority to the latter.
14. You tend to become insensitive sometimes
You tend to blurt out things that hurt the sentiments of the others. This is a bad habit which can cause pain to the person you are dating. Therefore you must think before you open your mouth to speak.
15. You exhibit low levels of confidence
You always feel unworthy and unattractive due to which you lack confidence. You feel that you are not good, pretty and smart enough for your date. This is something that your date will realise sooner or later. So you must learn to be comfortable and exhibit high levels of confidence.
16. You show signs of sexual desperation
If you become too sexually explicit, open and frank with your date, then it will not be a classy move on your part. Your date will realise that you are desperate and will probably avoid you the next time.
17. You lack a sense of humour
Either you lack a sense of humour or your level of sense of humour/sarcasm is something that your date fails to understand. Even if your date tries to make you laugh, you fail to respond. No one wants to date a person who has no sense of humour.
18. You fail to keep in touch
When someone shows interest in you, you also have to show interest in him/her by keeping in touch and calling or texting him/her whenever possible. But you fail to keep in touch and end up losing that someone.
These bad habits should not stop you from finding your true love. You are a social being and thus you must learn to socialise with the people around you. Once you are able to do that, you will have the ability to come out of the undateable zone and improve your chances of meeting someone special in your life.