It’s sad but it’s true that we are living in a world of fake relationships. This is best exhibited on social media. The need to show the hunky dory image of a relationship is so strong that people tend to work on the building the facade more than making an effort to make it genuinely caring and loving.
Let me explain with an example then you will understand better. Liah and Roy (name changed) are constantly tagging each other on social media posts. If Liah achieves something Roy is the first one to congratulate his girl and talk about her qualities in great details.But Liah over WhatsApp always complains to her bestie Annie. Liah tells Annie that Roy isn’t supportive or caring and is usually a very selfish boyfriend. When Annie tells her, then how come they are always so love-struck on SM, Liah says, “You can’t expect us to fight on SM. We are supposed to be lovey-dovey there isn’t it?”
Fake relationships are a baffling concept really. They have the appearance of normal, functional relationship. From the affection to the drama, everything about that relationship resembles that of a normal one but from the inside it is hollow. Outsiders usually don’t have an inkling of that till the breakup happens.
Then everything collapses in a jiffy, the can of worms are opened and some even indulge in blackmailing, SM shaming and what not.
What Really Is A Fake Relationship?
A fake relationship is one with the glowing appearance of a happy, loving one. It has the illusion of two devout partners who seem to genuinely try to make the relationship work. Yet, their feelings are not completely in alignment with their words and actions.
One might often question, why would someone fake a relationship? The reasons for that are plenty. Sometimes, people only do it to distract themselves from their distressing loneliness. Other times, their motives could be far worse. They might be in it for the money, to elevate their status or want to do it for the sake of just bragging.
The emotional intimacy in such a relationship takes a dramatic backseat. Such a relationship lacks the genuine affection and concern of a real one. It only possesses the nature of a relationship in external circumstances. Since we have moved into a world of fake relationships terms like cuffing, fishing dating, benching dating have become so popular.
For example, a fake partner just wants to take you to parties with them in order to seem like they are settled and happy to their successful friends. But you could just be the trophy girlfriend or a standby boyfriend.To indulge in bragging rights, they might only parade you around to show you off but turn the lights off on you and your love as soon as you get home.
So now you get the drift what’s a fake relationship all about. There is no genuine love, everything is a put on and the effort is to show to the world that they are the IT couple having a lot of fun together.
15 Signs You Are In A Fake Relationship
Being in a one-sided fake relationship can end up being a heartbreaking revelation for you. Because you might be giving your 100 per cent to the relationship but your partner could just want that make-believe fake relationship. One must love freely but also be wary of the fact that the relationship that they are into is a phony one that could crumple any day.
To not be easily fooled, you should look out for the signs of fake love from a man. These fake relationship signs can easily help you figure out whether you’re just being taken for granted or not.
1. Your partner is very selectively romantic
When someone is leading you down the garden path and has only deception in mind they will make little or no efforts at romance. They might only be romantic with you when it serves their selfish desires and makes them feel loved. However, they will care very sparsely about what your romantic needs might be.
Related Reading: 15 Top Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend
2. Paying minimal attention to what you say
“Remember that story I told you about that time I went to Amsterdam?” – when you say such things, chances are that they will have no idea what you’re referring to. When someone lacks interest in you, they will also fail to be interested by the things you tell them.
3. The conversations are dry
Not only do they not listen to you like the aforementioned, they also put zero efforts in having fruitful talks with you. Relationships are built on riveting conversations that keep you hooked to the other person’s personality.
Yet, in fake relationships, the conversations are monotonous and awfully dull. There is no natural progression in the conversation and it comes off as more of a deliberate and formal attempt.
4. They are kinder to you only around their friends
One of the signs his love is not real, is if his charm suddenly exceeds your expectations when you are around other people. Such a person, only wants to put on a show for society.
If he becomes boring and stops the cute forehead kisses that he enjoyed giving you in public, as soon as you get home, you know he was not being real in the first place. It is one of the obvious signs he pretends to love you.
5. No introduction to the parents
When a relationship is serious or is on its way to something more worthwhile individuals normally enjoy introducing their partners to their family. Incorporating someone important into your life translates to adding and introducing them to the rest of the crazy bunch. Yet, one of the signs that his love is not real is if he does not bother to make you meet the family.
Related Reading: 5 Tips To Introduce Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend To Your Parents
6. No romance after the sex
It is hard to say whether in fake relationships, the sex suffers or not. It might still be mind-blowing even if there isn’t an emotional connect. Yet, the intimacy one shares right when the sex is over, definitely suffers.
He might love the sex, but not love you even half as much. Cuddling in the sheets, bringing coffee to you in bed, or laughing hysterically and cracking up at old jokes, are things they might not be willing to do once the deed is done. They may strictly just zip up and walk out.
7. Do you really feel like you know them?
One of the important signs his love is not real, is if you occasionally realize that you actually do not know enough about your partner at all. When they do not seriously feel for you, they will not open up to you. They might have interests and hobbies that you might be completely unaware of.
Moreover, they might have some quirks and interesting mannerisms that they may not reveal to you. Perhaps they enjoy old Japanese films or like to collect shells from beaches- yet these are things you might never be able to notice or enjoy about them.
8. Forget about any grand gestures in fake relationships
Or perhaps, any adorable gestures at all. In a fake relationship, you’d be lucky to receive a bouquet of flowers on your birthday (that is, if they actually remember it).
One of the fake relationship signs is that they choose not to invest any energy in making you feel special. Cooking you a hearty meal or taking you out for a spin when you’re feeling low, are things they do not want to do.
9. No talk of future prospects
One of the signs of fake love from a man is if he sees no future with you. When you are truly smitten by someone, you want their presence to perpetuate your life. Yet in fake relationships, the other person knows that this is going to end soon. Thus, they put no thought into it because you were never in their future visions at all.
10. Fights and grievances go ignored
One aspect of the whole fake relationship drama is that there are frequent fights. Yet a fake partner sees no reasoning in consoling you or even trying to resolve a problem.If you are holding a grudge against them, it does not move a single hair on their body.
These issues may become gut wrenching but will leave you helpless. This can be troublesome because in a fake relationship, a lot of problems are simply brushed under the carpet.
Related Reading: Why Do Fights Become More Important Than Relationships?
11. Being ignored
One of the signs of fake love from a man is when he chooses to ignore you during times of crisis. During your downer days or difficult phases, a fake relationship will never give you the comfort you need.
There will be a complete lack of concern on the part of your significant other. You might be left feeling alone and at the disposal of your own strength during trying times.
12. Being very flippant when it comes to making plans
In fake relationships, your partner may not take your plans or schedules seriously. They will take your decisions very lightly and instead choose to do as they please, depending on their own whims. Their moods will drive their actions instead of respect for you.
For example, you may be planning a trip for months but they might change their mind about it depending on their own circumstances. In a fake relationship, the other person will never respect the effort you put into spending time with them.
13. Forgetting things happens more often in fake relationships
“Sorry, I forgot to call you back,” or “Hey, I forgot to bring the wine,” are words you might often hear. When one is emotionally less invested, it is natural that you will be on their mind less often.
They might keep forgetting things you tell them about yourself, ask them to do or discuss with them. “Oops, it just slipped my mind,” is actually euphemism for “I don’t think about you that much at all.”
14. There is a lot of mention of their ex
The scariest feature of the fake relationship drama, is the fact that perhaps you might just be an easy rebound. In such a case, your partner might talk about their ex often. Worse, if they compare you to them. That is your cue to run. Their feelings are clearly dominated by someone else.
Do not fall into this trap of being used by someone while they are still clearly in love with someone else. This fake relationship is only helping them stay distracted because they are still not over their ex.
15. Sneaky little white lies
In fake relationships, your partner will lie to you more often. It could be about themselves to make them appear more winsome than they actually are.
They might want to boast and seem rich and successful instead of sharing their realities. They may also lie about not being able to make it to a party or being too busy to spend time with you.
Related Reading: 12 Signs of a Lying Spouse
How To End A Fake Relationship?
It is clear from the above points that fake relationships are nothing short of toxic. If you have noticed that you might be in one, there is simply no reason for you to continue being in one. Here are some steps to get rid of a fake boyfriend and hop off the misleading train of love.
1. Sit down and have a chat
It is important to lay all your cards on the table and encourage your partner to do the same. Openly communicate with them all the ways you think the relationship has been fake and what you would rather expect from them. If they refuse to change, you have your answer and there is no reason to give further chances. Such relationships are just not worth saving.
2. Do not let their rationale soften you
To avoid losing the comfort you provide them, he will continue to show signs he loves you. They will constantly bring up old incidents and things they said to remind you that they love you. Yet, you have come to a conclusion about the relationship for a reason. Do not allow them to disrespect you further and just do not fall for it.
3. Do not try to be friends
Take some time off to deal with the heartbreak and spend time with yourself. If you continue being part of their lives, they will further take you for granted. Just let it go and stay firm in your decision. You are so much better than that. They might still leech onto you and use you for their own comforts. It is your job to turn them down and put your emotions first.
Related Reading: 15 Clever Ways to Turn Down An Ex Who Wants To Be Friends
4. Use this opportunity to further build your self esteem
Realising that you do not deserve to be treated as a side dish is only the first step of this journey. Further on, comes a time of deep introspection and reorganization of who you want to be and what you truly deserve.
Surviving heartbreak should be your sole concern and is the most important step of the journey. It can be one hell of a process, in a good way! When you are in a better space, there are chances you won’t be lured into fake relationships again.
5. Enjoy the freedom!
When you lose something you never had, it was never that big of a loss in the first place. It is actually more of a win since you will not be wasting any more time or energy on someone that did not deserve you. Enjoy this taste of freedom, get out there and find somebody real to invest your efforts into. The world is your oyster!