Counselling

How do I cope with my husband’s deep friendship with his ex-wife?

They speak daily, go on holidays and visit every 2/3 times a year, how do I handle this?
A worried woman

Hi ma’am!

I am 42 years old. It has been 2 years since my second marriage and we have decided not to have any children because of our age.

Both me and my husband have been married twice. My first marriage ended 17 years ago and I have moved on with no regrets. My husband’s marriage ended 5 years back. He has 2 children from that marriage, who live with their mother. He is extremely attached to his boys, aged 13 and 9.

The problem that I am facing is that my husband is in constant contact with his ex-wife, for the sake of children, but it doesn’t end here. I have read their exchange of messages which clearly indicates that their conversation doesn’t stick to the welfare of the children but goes on to much personal remarks such as appearances/gifts, etc.

Also, my husband goes and stays at the woman’s house, ‘to please his children’ and all four of them go for outings, movies, food etc. a ‘big happy family’.

I have confronted my husband in this regard but he does not see anything wrong in it as he now considers his ex wife his best friend.
I have no say in this as everything is done ‘for the happiness of the children’. However, I feel extremely disturbed, anxious and insecure about this relationship.

Please advise on how to handle this situation, as they talk every single day and my husband goes and stays with them at least 2-3 times in an year.

Thanks in advance,

A stressed-out wife.

relationship counselling

Related reading: 15 things divorced people should know when getting into new relationships

Prachi Vaish says:

Dear Stressed Out Wife,
Forming a new family, while the old one still hovers on the periphery, is indeed

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Why marriage can be better the second time

The lessons I learnt from my two marriages and two divorces


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