Romantic relationships are hard. They aren’t just hard to maintain, but also hard to describe or categorize. Just like every individual is different, the bond between every couple is also unique. How a man shows love without saying it is bound to be different from person to person and couple to couple. So when you are reading an article on ‘secrets to a happy marriage’ or something similar, you know in your heart that it’s not going to be very useful.
I never turn to those articles for help because my guy is, well, a little different. Being with him has, however, made me adept at deciphering how a man shows love without saying it. While different couples have different ways of expressing love and admiration for each other, our way of expressing it is very silent, very subtle. This is why all those little things adopt larger meanings for me.
Now see, no matter how subtle they are, they’re all still signs he wants to spend his life with you. After years of courtship, the number of times he has said the three ‘magical’ words “I love you” can be counted on fingers. And yet I never felt the magic in our relationship subsiding. As they say: Show, don’t tell. And it’s something he’s perfect at. He is gifted with a charm that hasn’t faded in years. Here are all the things he does, intentionally or otherwise, to make up for that ‘loss’.
10 Ways to Show Love Without Saying It
The actions that say “I love you” are sometimes so subtle that you can blink and miss them. Yes, grand gestures and over-the-top presents are great, but the small ways to say I love you are more meaningful and, for the lack of a better word, impactful. By noticing all these little yet impactful things can you understand how a man shows love without saying it.
Every man is different, hence every relationship is unique. Maybe he’s shy and likes to keep to himself, or maybe he’s understood the futility of proving to the outside world that he’s madly in love with you. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you in the first place. Here’s how a man shows love without saying it.
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1. He ALWAYS listens when I’m talking
Speaking of what gestures mean in love, the way I see it is that it’s not just him listening attentively that makes me feel good. It’s the respect that he still gives me every single day. And he doesn’t just listen; he even asks questions. For the talker that I am, I needed nothing but a good listener. This was right at the top of my list of must-have relationship qualities for a happy life together, and I’m so glad to have found it in my partner.
It’s a human tendency to prioritize our needs and problems over the other’s, which is why this quality in him is so special to me. It always reminds me that he truly cares for me and my feelings. It shows that he’s considerate and open toward what I say at any point of time and gives it his full attention. Aren’t these the primary ways how a man shows love without saying it? For me, it sure is.
1. He makes it a point to remember stuff
Guys are known for their poor memory. Forgetting things is a trait common to all guys, or most guys. Should I feel lucky that I found an exception? I never had to remind him about little things, he remembers everything. Not just my birthday, he has always remembered my mother’s and my sister’s birthday too, without me having to remind him. And how do I know this? Well, mom told me herself. I couldn’t have been prouder of him.
It’s not like as if he’s got some exceptional memory. It’s just that he makes efforts every day to make sure I know how much I mean to him. These are his little ways of showing that he cherishes and loves me. If he makes an effort with your family, he’s definitely a keeper. These are the simple ways guys say I love you.
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2. He makes me a part of all his important days
And what else can be a bigger turn-on? When your guy makes you feel important by making you a part of all the important days in his life, it is evidently one of the signs he loves you without saying it. Whether it was switching jobs or switching his career path, or even that first job interview he gave, he made sure I was a part of all those days, just as much as his family and his best friend were involved.
It made me feel special, like I was someone who would be impacted by his decisions because I was an integral part of his life. When someone keeps you segregated from many aspects of their life, it can be a red flag in itself. When someone is in love with you, they often want to share as many slices of their life with you as possible. Making you a part of everything important in his life is one of those things a man will do only if he really loves you.
3. There’s not a single speck of sexism in his mind
He has always encouraged me to pursue my interests. He doesn’t throw my gender at my face even in times of conflict. Even if I rush to a guy friend’s house in the middle of the night after receiving an urgent call from him, he has never questioned me in a way that makes me uncomfortable. There is no worse turn-off than a guy who puts restrictions on you. Things guys do when they love you shouldn’t include sexism or jealousy.
Jealousy is a natural sentiment. But being over-jealous and not respecting your partner’s boundaries is never a healthy part of a relationship. In fact, if your partner keeps suspecting you and asking you about every friend of yours from a place of possessiveness, it’s better that you keep away. Understanding your boundaries is one of the many ways how a man shows love without saying it.
Helping you pick out gifts for your guy friends, asking to be introduced to them are all small ways to say I love you. It shows he doesn’t have silly doubts in his mind like “Can a girl have a guy best friend and a boyfriend?” He trusts you and isn’t insecure of any other man in your life. The guy who just lets you be you and doesn’t stop you from living your life is actually a hard find. When you find him, keep him, like I have.
4. He gave up on a football match once when I had a bad day
I had an extremely bad day once, and it was not one of those days at work where stuff goes wrong. It was a lot more serious and I did not feel like talking to anybody at all. Needless to say, I didn’t talk to him as well. The next day, too, I didn’t go to work and was dodging calls. When he got the hint that something was wrong, he gave up his ManU match for the day and spent the next 26 hours with me, just talking, eating, sleeping, binge-watching my favorite series, and going over all my childhood pictures.
I understood that day that sometimes these small ways to say I love you have the biggest impression. With these gestures, there’s no need of words to express your love, the other person just understands. By putting me ahead of his interests, he didn’t need to profess his love for me to show how much he loves me.
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5. He always asks for my opinion before he makes any important decision
There’s a difference between informing your partner that you have taken a decision, and actually involving your partner while making a decision. What makes my heart flutter is how he always asks for my opinion before making any major decision.
I won’t say he’s always followed my advice, but just the fact that he gives me that importance is enough to make me swoon over him all the time. I admire the fact that he respects me enough to include me in his life plans. By respecting and acknowledging you and your worth is how a man shows love without saying it.
6. He drops by my workplace once in a while
Without telling me beforehand, of course! And mostly, he brings food. I couldn’t have asked for more. Dropping in for a spontaneous lunch, a random phone call in the middle of the day to ask how you’re doing, taking you to dinner after a long day at work, and planning cute uncommon romantic gestures is how a man shows love without saying it. These are some things things a man will do only if he really loves you, and you should cherish these qualities.
7. He finds ways to be with me
He’ll leave no chance to be with you if he’s in love with you. One of the ways how a man shows love without saying it is by trying to actively carve out hours or minutes in order to spend them with you. And when he’s with me, he’ll slowly take up my hand or pass me a smile whenever my eyes catch his. These are little ways in which he shows how much I mean to him and how much he appreciates my companionship.
8. He notices all the little things
I got a haircut, and it was the first thing he asked me after I met him that day, even though no one had noticed it at my work. I like the fact that he could observe even the little changes I made to my appearance. One of the things guys do when they love you is noticing and appreciating the little things you change about yourself because they understand that it’s something you must like. It also shows they are mindful about every aspect of your selfhood and appreciate all of it.
9. He misses me
One of the things guys say instead of “I love you” is that they miss you. They can’t stop thinking about you when you’re not with them and it makes them miss you even more. So how do guys act when they are in love? You are in their thoughts all the time and it reflects in the way they talk with you or talk about you. He often messages me in the middle of the day saying he misses me and it never fails to bring a smile on my face.
10. He supports my aspirations
How do guys act when they are in love? They support your dreams and always help you move forward in life. He inspires me whenever I’m with him, he motivates me to work for my dreams. That he’ll get me all the stars in the sky is easy enough to say, but to be there for me in my journey throughout takes love, dedication, and affection. He’s my biggest admirer and supporter, and this is a part of things guys say instead of I love you when they are genuinely in love with you.
There are many things a man will do only if he really loves you and they’re not that hard to spot if you’re observant. Their actions talk more than their words ever can, and those actions reflect a love for you that’s pure and unfiltered. Boyfriends are honestly a blessing. If he does all these things for you, respects you, empowers you, and lifts you up, you should keep him around for long. It’s difficult to find men who would even do the bare minimum. Thank you for everything, boyfriend!
He will do subtle things to show his love like calling you up in the middle of a work day, or asking for your opinion regarding big life decisions, and make an effort to remember all the important events in your life.
He will leave everything behind if you call him and ask him to be there. He’ll visit you at work or find any opportunity to come see you.