Am I a good boyfriend? Am I treating her the way she deserves to be treated? How to be a better boyfriend?These questions are usually on every guy’s mind. It is natural to ask these questions if you are madly in love with your girl.
You can be the best boyfriend in the world. The first thing to keep in mind is to realize that being the boyfriend she deserves is a continuous journey. You will learn new things about your partner and you will find new ways to make her happy. Only by being there for her consistently can you be a better boyfriend.
How To Be A Better Boyfriend
Before we can answer the question how to be a better boyfriend, there are other questions we need to ask as well. What are the qualities of a good boyfriend? What are his duties? Only by keeping this in mind can you start to become a better boyfriend.
We can answer all of these. Below, we will take you through the qualities and traits that a good boyfriend possesses, along with the duties that you will need to carry out. By following these tips, you can be a better boyfriend.
1. Respect and admiration
If you have ever asked yourself, “How do I start being a better boyfriend?” the answer is by giving respect. You not only need to respect her as a person, but you also need to respect the choices she has made.
Respect is one of the founding pillars of a successful relationship. If you do not truly respect your partner, you can never be the boyfriend she deserves.
Respect is not only having good manners like opening doors and pulling chairs at the restaurant, it’s also about respecting her privacy and choices. You can be the best boyfriend in the world not just by sneaking into her phone – ever.
To be a better boyfriend emotionally you have to be supportive of her career choices, of her need to spend time with her BFFs, you understand her family values and when she talks about her aspirations you listen intently. That’s respect.
2. Be spontaneous
One of the most common pitfalls in a relationship is, when you have grown too comfortable in your relationship, you stopped trying to surprise your partner.
I too have made this mistake a few times. If you do this too often, the relationship will end. Next on our list of what boyfriends should do, is to be spontaneous.
Little things like getting her flowers, or even better, a brownie, can go a long way in making your girlfriend happy. Giving her small surprises from time to time will definitely help you be the best boyfriend in the world.
If you want to be a great live-in boyfriend then be spontaneous when it comes to doing the chores or keeping the home tidy. This would go a long way in making you a better boyfriend.
3. Learn to listen without interrupting
One thing that will definitely annoy your girlfriend is to offer a solution when she hasn’t asked for one.
Sometimes your girlfriend isn’t looking for rational answers she could find those on her own. She just wants to vent out her emotional frustrations.
To be a better boyfriend emotionally, learn to provide a shoulder for her to cry on without trying to offer a solution. She might be really upset with the boss and she needs to vent. Just listen without offering your views on the boss or the office scenario.
Or a friend has left her out of her wedding invitation guest list and she is baffled why that happened. She is upset. Guys don’t bother about these things too often but with women it’s a big deal. Understand that.
Related Reading: 10 Proven Ways To Show Someone You Love Them
4. Be the boyfriend she deserves by not neglecting her
Since you’ve asked yourself how to be a better boyfriend, you need to realize that your partner has needs and feelings.
To be a better boyfriend, it is very important to dedicate time to her. Do not make the mistake of neglecting her needs. Be attentive to your girlfriend. If you do not spend enough time with her, the relationship will end.
Unless you have a high maintenance girlfriend, be aware that her needs are very little. All she wants is a hug from you, she wants you to be around her, she wants to chat over coffee with you. All she needs is your time. It’s not that hard to give it.
5. Assume responsibility for your actions
There are few things more attractive to a woman than a man who takes responsibility for his actions. Being able to understand when you are wrong is one of the traits of a great boyfriend.
Acknowledge your mistakes when you make them so that you can work on it. Assuming responsibility for your actions will make you a better boyfriend.
If you can say, “I am sorry, I was wrong” easily she would appreciate you for your honesty and your ability to own up for your mistakes. You should be able to apologise spontaneously without thinking too much. That will make you really endearing to her.
6. Learn some arts and crafts
This one seems a little random, but it works wonders. When it comes to giving gifts, it’s not the price of the gift that matters, but the thought behind it.
Anyone can go to a store and buy something. Learning arts and crafts will allow you to make a gift which would be meaningful to her.
The effort required for this will make her believe that she has the best boyfriend in the world. If you have ever asked yourself what are boyfriend duties, dedicating the time to make her happy is one of them.
We can already see her million-dollar smile when you gift her a DIY lampshade to be kept on her bedside table. She could value it more than a diamond pendant. Trust us.
Related Reading: 15 Top Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend
7. The traits of a great boyfriend, pay attention to her hobbies
Your partner deserves a good boyfriend. A good boyfriend would pay attention to his partner’s hobbies and interest and get invested in them.
This will help you in making plans which she could enjoy. By paying attention to your partners hobbies, you encourage her to talk about them without seeming disinterested. Doing this will help you be the boyfriend she deserves.
If she is into Salsa you can join a few classes with her to learn the moves. She would just love it. If she is into gardening you can order some seeds or gardening tools online and get your hands dirty with her on a Sunday morning. There can’t be better ways to be a better boyfriend.
8. Make the dates all about her
In a relationship, the point of going on dates is to make sure your partner has a good time. Making her the center of attention will help at being a good boyfriend, you must plan dates that revolve solely around her interest.
This will include activities that she would enjoy, even if you are personally not that interested in it. How to be a better boyfriend? Go out of your way to make her happy on a date.
You hate crabs but she loves it. Take her to a seafood restaurant where there’s a live cooking counter. She would know you did it just for her. She would love you to the moon and back.
You can surprise her with double dates with her bestie and her guy. She would just love that.
9. Don’t be controlling
One of the traits of a good boyfriend is not to be too controlling. You need to encourage her to be herself and you need to support that.
This includes the people she interacts with or the decisions she makes about her life. If there is something women hate that’s control. Don’t ever try to take her decisions – that could be as simple as what she should to be wearing to something more serious like the job she should take up.
She is definitely open to suggestions but if you want to be a great boyfriend, don’t take decisions on her behalf. She would hate it.
Related Reading: 50 Things To Talk About With Your Boyfriend And Know Him Better
10. Befriend her family and friends
Your girlfriend’s friends are an important part of her life. If you have ever asked yourself what are the boyfriend duties, it is to get along with her friends and family so that she doesn’t have to pick between the two.
To be a better boyfriend, you must try to get along with her group of friends, as their opinions about you will matter.
You are there for her if she needs to take her dad to the doc, or her parents could count on you to take care of their dog when they are away on a holiday. This will assure her that you are there not only for her, but also for her family.
How To Be A Good Live-In Boyfriend
As the relationship progresses, the two of you might eventually choose to live together. This might seem appealing as you get to spend even more time with the person you love, but remember that live-in relationships are not easy, there is an increased level of commitment and co-dependence involved.
Your daily actions will now have a direct impact on influencing the type of day your partner is going to have. In this case, a few more points need to be kept in mind which will let you know how to be a better boyfriend.
11. Be a better boyfriend emotionally by choosing kindness over victory
Couples argue there is no denying that. If you haven’t already, you will soon start arguing with your partner. When that happens, it is important to remember that winning the argument is not important, the relationship is.
Choose kindness over winning to be the boyfriend she deserves. Resolve your conflict amicably and don’t keep on harping on the conflict.
If you argue, resolve and forget about it then nothing like it. You don’t have to prove your point to your girlfriend all the time. If you can step back and not focus on winning, she would admire you for that.
12. Compromise is the trait of a great boyfriend
Compromising does not mean a 50/50 type of agreement. That’s just ensuring that neither of you have a good time. A compromise means that today you do whatever she wants, but tomorrow, she does what you want.
Learning how to effectively compromise, will work like a miracle helping you to be the best boyfriend in the world.
You should be also able to sacrifice in a relationship when the need arises. Sometimes small sacrifices make a big difference.
Related Reading: Cohabitation – Everything You Need To Know About It
13. Remember to work hard
What are boyfriend duties? Working hard to make her feel special and loved. This isn’t always easy, and it takes some planning and dedication.
Coming back from work and plonking yourself on the couch while watching football is the easiest thing to do. But if you freshen up and help her in the kitchen and stir up a meal together, you do have the best boyfriend traits. Do you realise that?
By working hard we also mean on making efforts in building sexual compatibility and emotional intimacy. These are things that need time, effort and understanding and mean a great deal in a relationship.
14. Give her space
You and your partner may love each other, but you need to realize that your girlfriend needs her own space and boundaries. To be a good live-in boyfriend, you need to recognize the signs that she wishes to be alone.
Being around your partner 24 hours a day can cause more harm than good. Giving her the space she requires is one of the things a boyfriend should do.
If she makes plans with her friends or wants to go on a solo trip don’t guilt trip her and say, “What would I do alone?” Instead, encourage her to do her own things, while you make your own plans. This way you create a healthy relationship for both of you.
15. Avoid trigger topics
Every couple has trigger topics. These are the topics that would lead to a fight as neither of you can find some common ground. For some it’s religion, for others it’s their job, their families etc.
If you are wondering how to be a better boyfriend, it is your duty as a boyfriend to recognize these trigger topics and avoid them at all costs to help you be a good live in boyfriend.
If you cannot avoid discussing a trigger topic then do it calmly and assure her that it won’t lead to a fight. Find a solution and then let the topic go.
16. Allow yourself to grow
One of the most challenging aspects of being a good boyfriend is allowing yourself to grow as a person. For a relationship to succeed, you need to grow with your partner.
This means that you are going to have to give up certain behaviors and practices that you are comfortable with, but your partner frowns upon.
This could include various things like going out too much or how tidy the house is. One of the traits of a good boyfriend is being able to grow for the sake of the relationship.
How To Be A Better Boyfriend Over Long Distance
The pandemic has made dating tough. It has become difficult to meet your partner. As such, most relationships are now effectively long distance. This might seem terrifying at first as you might be asking yourself what are the qualities of a good boyfriend.
You might also not know how to be a better boyfriend in a long-distance relationship. Thankfully, we know how your relationship can get through this phase while helping you answer some questions.
Related Reading: 15 benefits of long distance relationships
17. Virtual dates
A good boyfriend does not let distance take a toll on his relationship. For long-distance relationship, virtual dating is a great idea.
As long as the two of you have an internet connection, you could plan a romantic virtual date for your partner.
18. Action over words
One of the ways to be the boyfriend she deserves is to let your actions speak louder than your words.
You need to prove to your partner that she can depend on you. A relationship needs trust, by letting your actions speak for themselves, is how you can be a better boyfriend.
You can build trust in a relationship even over a distance. Just be honest and assuring.
19. Be honest about your feelings
One of the roadblocks to a long-distance relationship is that you are not able to be in the same room as your partner. This can cause a rift in the relationship.
One way to avoid this is to always be honest and open about your feelings. This ensures that the relationship will not lack emotional intimacy and this will also help you be a better boyfriend emotionally.
20. Make her your top priority
The most important tip has been saved for last. The most simplified answer to how to be a better boyfriend, is to make your partner your top priority.
You must consistently be there for her and support her in whichever way she needs. That is the best way to be the boyfriend she deserves. Also don’t judge her. Accept who she is and do your boyfriend duties. You would be a wonderful guy to be around.
In a relationship two people should grow together and you should improve yourself and prioritise the relationship so that you give her all the love and emotional intimacy she deserves.
A bad boyfriend will exhibit all the relationship red flags. He would be essentially a person who would be selfish, could give very little attention to his girl or could be clingy. He would be dishonest, he could end up cheating even. Most importantly he would show very little respect and genuine affection.
A great boyfriend just needs to show respect and affection to his girl, be attentive and supportive, he should understand her feelings and her need for space. Just be honest, assuring and supportive and she would be in love with you madly.
A woman wants to be treated with love and respect. She wants you to give her your time and attention, she wants you to be part of her big decisions. She wants to feel warm in your arms and wanted and appreciated.
Women do not ask a lot from a relationship. They want respect, affection, attention and understanding. Help her with the household chores or surprise her with roses, she would love you to the moon and back.