How To Be A Better Boyfriend To Your Girlfriend — 25 Easy, Actionable Tips

Dating experience | | , Writer
Updated On: January 18, 2024
how to be a better boyfriend

It’s every girl’s dream to have in her life someone who would adore her for everything that she is. If you’re a guy dating someone and wondering, “How to be a better boyfriend?”, kudos to you for wanting to be the partner your girlfriend deserves. It’s not unusual to wonder about things like: Am I a good boyfriend? Is she happy with me? How do I start being a better boyfriend? What can I do to make her happier? All of these questions suggest that you love and value the person you’re with and don’t want anything to mess up this good thing you’ve got going on.

You want to keep your girlfriend happy, not out of any obligation but out of the love you have for her. After all, a healthy relationship can’t survive with just good chemistry. It also requires small thoughtful gestures like asking her how her day went and calling her to say “I love you” in the middle of a busy day. What more can you do to be the perfect boyfriend and make her feel special, you wonder? We bring you 25 easy, actionable tips you just can’t go wrong with.

25 Simple Yet Effective Tips On How To Be A Better Boyfriend

Before we can answer this question, we need to put forth a few questions to you. According to you, what are the qualities of a good boyfriend? What are his duties toward a girlfriend? What is your definition of a happy, wholesome, and perfect relationship? Only by finding answers to these questions can you become the best boyfriend you can be.

To aid you on that journey to be the best boyfriend in the world (in your relationship), will take you through the qualities and traits that a loving and caring boyfriend possesses. And also share 25 tips that can help you be a loving boyfriend and make your girlfriend feel loved and special.

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1. Treat her with respect

Let’s start with one of the simplest things that needs to be a top priority in strong and healthy relationships — respect. Respect in a relationship is a profound acknowledgment that each person holds inherent worth, wisdom, and a unique perspective that enriches the connection. This creates a space where love can flourish, paving the way for understanding and growth. Here are five ways to you can be more respectful of your partner, and thus improve as a boyfriend::

  • Active listening: Pay attention and engage when she speaks, valuing her thoughts and feelings without interrupting or dismissing them
  • Supportive behavior: Offer encouragement, be there in times of need, and show understanding toward her aspirations and set goals
  • Respecting boundaries: Acknowledge and honor her personal space, opinions, and decisions without pressuring or crossing limits
  • Consistent communication: Foster open, honest, and transparent communication to build trust and understanding in the relationship
  • Equal partnership: Treat her as an equal partner in the relationship, sharing responsibilities and decisions while valuing her input and autonomy

Related Reading: 100 Romantic Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend And Make Her Heart Melt

2. Text her back

Sometimes how to be a better boyfriend to your girlfriend is all about texting her back. There will be times when you’re away from each other and busy with your own lives. This could be because of personal reasons or work-related issues. Just drop a message saying you miss her or you’re thinking about her. Text her to keep her interested. This will fill her heart with love and concern for you.

What is a boyfriend supposed to do while texting? When the two of you are texting to and fro, make her feel like you’re invested in the conversation. Don’t make her wait for your messages just to see if she chases you. This is one of the biggest relationship turn-offs and reeks of manipulation. This doesn’t mean you have to be glued to your phone waiting for her text. But whenever you’re both engaged in a chat, reply to her quickly and consistently.

3. Be spontaneous

Wondering, how to be a fun boyfriend? A little spontaneity can go a long way. If you have been dating for quite some time, then it’s natural to become comfortable in the relationship. However, don’t let comfort turn into complacency in the relationship — it can impact your connection adversely. One of the ways to be a better boyfriend is to simply make an effort to not let your relationship become stagnant.

You can both brainstorm about activities to do together to spend more quality time. Spontaneous things a boyfriend should do can be:

  • To surprise her with flowers and brownies once in a while
  • Take her out on a coffee date just because
  • Get ice cream in the middle of the night
  • Follow a shared self-care routine
  • Turn a routine weeknight into a lowkey romantic dinner

Related Reading: Why Is It Important To Be A Good Listener?

4. Genuinely listen when she is talking

How do I start being a better boyfriend, you ask? Pause the game, put your mobile phone on silent, and genuinely listen when she is talking to you. It is important to be a good listener because a good relationship is all about making each other feel seen and heard. You don’t necessarily have to offer solutions or rational answers when your girl shares her troubles or just vents with you. She can handle problems on her own.

So what are boyfriend duties? All you have to do is provide a shoulder for her to lean on and speak her heart out. Guys usually don’t bother about these things, but it can be a big deal for women when their boyfriends give them their undivided attention and just listen. Make eye contact with your girlfriend when she wants to talk to you about important things and offer support.

5. Don’t just listen, understand her

To listen to your girlfriend’s worries and woes isn’t a big deal. You can sit and hear her out as your mind wanders. Anybody could do that. Since you’re here, asking, “How can I be a better boyfriend to my girlfriend?”, you need to make sure she feels heard and understood. To be the perfect boyfriend, you have to make an effort to understand what she’s saying and where she’s coming from. Here are some tips you can use to become an understanding and loving boyfriend:

  • Listen to her without judging her
  • Be more empathetic
  • Listen to the silence and the pauses as well
  • Be aware of her feelings
  • Don’t impose your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs
  • Work hard toward your personal growth. It shows her how driven you are to put in the efforts
infographic on how to be a better boyfriend to your girlfriend
Simple yet effective ways to be a better boyfriend

6. Take responsibility for your words and actions

There are few things more attractive to a woman than a man who takes responsibility for his actions. Being able to acknowledge when you are wrong is one of the traits of a great boyfriend. Accept your mistakes so that you can work on them. Sure, this may not fit the bill of grand romantic gestures for her that will sweep her off her feet but we can assure you that a sense of accountability will make your girlfriend happy and make you seem like the perfect boyfriend ever.

For example, if you want to show her you’re a cool yet caring boyfriend over text, make sure you keep her informed if you’re busy instead of seeing her message and taking time before replying. And if for some reason, you’re unable to give her a heads up, saying, “I am sorry I couldn’t respond sooner, I was busy”, is so much better than just expecting her to instinctively know that if you haven’t responded, you must be occupied somewhere. She would appreciate your honesty and ability to own up to your mistakes.

Related Reading: 10 Proven Ways To Show Someone You Love Them

7. Don’t try to win every single argument

Here’s the simplest answer to how to be a better boyfriend: win her heart, not arguments. A perfect boyfriend wouldn’t resort to saying hurtful things in a relationship just to win an argument. This doesn’t just go for one partner, but since we’re talking about how to be a good boyfriend, let’s focus on that.

Arguments are bound to happen in a relationship, even in a great relationship. However, the purpose of a disagreement or an argument should be to find a solution to your problems or a middle ground on things you don’t see eye-to-eye on. But if you make it a point to win every single argument, the conflict will only result in tougher times. Here’s how:

  • It may lead to a toxic pattern where one partner feels unheard or dismissed
  • It can create resentment and hurt feelings
  • It can hinder effective communication

You can minimize the hurt by focusing on resolving issues rather than indulging in a game of one-upmanship. So focus on trying to understand each other’s standpoint without yelling at each other.

8. Be affectionate every day

how to be a better boyfriend
Show affection by kissing her forehead

Figuring out how to be a fun boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to try making her laugh all the time or resort to over-the-top displays of affection. Just a kiss on the forehead or a warm hug when you see her is enough to make her feel appreciated and loved. Being mindful of this is important when you’re trying to figure out how to be a better boyfriend to your girlfriend because a lack of affection can result in a lot of problems between couples.

Be affectionate even in front of friends and family. This will tell her that you are proud to have her in your life. Some traits of a great boyfriend being affectionate in a healthy relationship include:

  • Cuddling
  • Holding her hand
  • Giving her a good massage
  • Showing interest in things she likes

9. Don’t be controlling

In a healthy relationship, a caring partner respects their significant other’s independence. Here are a few things you can keep in mind:

  • It’s crucial to encourage and support her individuality and choices without exerting control
  • Recognizing that she is her own person, separate from you, is key
  • One of the ideal boyfriend traits is making a conscious choice to not dictate her decisions or control her life in any way

Trusting her judgment and allowing her the freedom to make her own choices empowers her and strengthens your bond. Ultimately, by respecting her autonomy, you give her the space to willingly choose your relationship every day. Think of your relationship as an interdependent partnership where two partners on their respective journeys toward happiness and growth, come together. Eventually, this is how to become a better man for her.

10. Become her best friend

There is nothing more beautiful than finding friendship and love in one person. Because relationships are more than just about having good sex, romance, and buying each other gifts. They are also about being able to talk to each other about anything under the sun. They’re about supporting your partner through the rough patches. Picking them up when they feel down. And listening to your partner when they vent.

If you want to be a better boyfriend emotionally, focus on fostering or strengthening this feeling of friendship. Spend time with your girlfriend, get to know her even better, and be there for her when she needs a friend. Be her source of support and strength, be the person she can turn to when she’s feeling lost, be the person she engages in banter with, and you’ll never have to wonder, “How can I be a better boyfriend to my girlfriend?”

Related Reading: 15 Top Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend

11. Inculcate altruistic behavior

Altruism is one of the sexiest qualities a man can have. Believe it or not, altruism in men ranks higher than good looks and a sense of humor. Even studies have consistently shown that it is the quality women are drawn to when they are looking for a relationship. It takes time to adapt but it’s totally worth it because it makes a man sexually attractive too. It is the ultimate answer to how to be a better partner in a relationship. 

Altruism in a relationship means caring about your girlfriend’s happiness and well-being without expecting something in return. It’s about doing kind things for her just because you want to see her smile or feel good, not because you want something back. Being an altruistic boyfriend means putting her needs and happiness on par with your own, making your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.

12. Show vulnerability

What are the qualities of a good boyfriend? Embracing vulnerability is one of the most underrated and important qualities. In a mature relationship, embracing vulnerability demonstrates emotional courage and authenticity. It involves being open about your feelings, fears, and insecurities, allowing a deeper level of connection and trust to flourish between you and your girlfriend. This is what, ultimately, helps you be a better boyfriend emotionally.

This willingness to show vulnerability creates an environment where honesty and understanding thrive, enriching the relationship with empathy, compassion, and a profound sense of closeness. Contrary to popular perception, vulnerability is a sign of strength, not of weakness.

Related Reading: 19 Things To Reassure Your Girlfriend Of Your Love

13. Be mindful of how you perceive her vulnerabilities

When a girlfriend shares her vulnerabilities with her boyfriend, it signifies trust and intimacy. In that moment, an ideal boyfriend shows understanding, support, and a nurturing response that fosters a sense of safety and acceptance. If you aspire to inculcate or hone ideal boyfriend traits, you must avoid the following when your girlfriend opens up to you:

  • Judgment: Refrain from criticizing or belittling her feelings or experiences
  • Dismissal: Avoid brushing off her concerns or making light of her vulnerabilities
  • Fixing: Resist the urge to immediately jump into problem-solving mode without her consent
  • Sharing without consent: Do not divulge her struggles or vulnerabilities to others without her explicit permission
  • Minimization: Avoid downplaying or diminishing the significance of her emotions or experiences
  • Invalidation: Refrain from invalidating her feelings or experiences by telling her she shouldn’t feel a certain way
  • Lack of empathy: Steer clear of being unresponsive or unsupportive of her emotions or struggles

14. Be willing to compromise

How to be a good boyfriend? Learn to find the middle ground. One of the qualities of a good relationship is that both partners compromise equally. The ability to do so is one of the signs you are meant to be together. However, remember that there’s a big difference between compromise and sacrifice. Don’t confuse the two and let someone walk all over you. But try to make her life easier by compromising and meeting her halfway whenever there is a disagreement, no matter how big or small.

Eat Chinese but watch a movie of your choice. This way, you both compromise and you both get to do one thing you love. This is just an example, there can be infinite ways for you guys to find a middle ground. It’s just a matter of intent. Compromising is really not that difficult, guys! In fact, it is a great way to be a better boyfriend.

on couple goals

15. Give her space

Giving your girlfriend space is a crucial aspect of being a good boyfriend. It’s about respecting her need for independence, personal growth, and time to recharge. When she has the freedom to explore her interests and spend time alone or with others, it shows that you trust her and support her choices.

  • This space allows her to maintain her individuality and strengthens the relationship
  • It allows you both to appreciate each other’s presence even more when you come together
  • It’s the right way of showing that you value her as an individual and respect her boundaries
  • It ultimately gives way to a healthier and more fulfilling connection.

16. Help her with household chores

What are boyfriend duties? Or what are the qualities of a good boyfriend? If you are living together, then this is the best advice you will ever receive: share the load. Your girlfriend isn’t responsible for looking after you. So, don’t expect her to. She’s not your mother and you’re no longer a child who needs tending to. Step up and share the domestic load with her — this is one of the simplest ways of showing care that will strengthen your bond. 

Not having a partner who is willing to do his share of chores is a problem most women face in their relationships. Be a good boyfriend by taking on the responsibility of certain household chores. If she’s making a home-cooked meal, you do the dishes. If she’s doing the laundry, you go get the groceries. Come up with a system that works for you and contributes to keeping your shared lives running smoothly — without being asked or reminded.

Related Reading: How To Redefine Gender Roles In Household Chores

17. Take interest in the things she is interested in

Taking an interest in your girlfriend’s likes, passions, and hobbies is key to fostering a deeper connection. It shows you care about what makes her happy and helps you understand her better. However important that may be, it doesn’t mean that you sacrifice things that you like. Love is a two-way street. But you can try and come to a middle ground and balance both of your likings. Here are a few ideal boyfriend traits that you can adopt to strike that balance:

  • Find activities you both enjoy, blending both your interests
  • Talk openly about your preferences and find compromises where you both get to do things you enjoy
  • Rotate between activities she likes and those you prefer, creating a fair balance in your shared experiences
  • Be open to trying new things together, which might lead to discovering shared interests neither of you knew about before
  • Remember, our preferences change with time so doing the same things over and over will not work, rediscover each other and yourselves

18. Prioritize her pleasure

There is no denying that good sex is one of the key elements in a healthy relationship. Make your current girlfriend feel loved by constantly trying to elevate the quality of your sex life. Pay attention to what she likes in bed — figuring out how to become a better man for her can be as simple as that. Don’t be selfish in bed and make it all about yourself.

Learn how to satisfy a woman in bed. Talk to her about it. Ask her what would make her feel good. A study has found only 18% of women can reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. So, don’t limit sex to just intercourse. It’s about physical touch and playing with each other. Explore her body and find new ways to pleasure her. If there is something you want in bed, don’t hesitate to ask for it. But remember to always seek her consent and respect it.

19. Learn about her attachment style

Every person has an attachment style that is based on their childhood experiences and their early interactions with their primary caregivers. By learning what her attachment style is, you will be able to answer the question of how to become a better man for her. For example, if she has an anxious attachment style, she will need a lot of reassurance of your love from you, both verbal and non-verbal. You will be better able to understand that need without labeling her clingy or needy or pushing her away. Even if you can’t cater to that need 100%, you will be able to empathize with her and see where she is coming from.  

Related Reading: 7 Reasons You Lose Feelings For Someone Fast

20. Be willing to grow in the relationship

This is one of the proven ways you show your love and make her view you as the best boyfriend ever. A growth mindset helps keep a relationship fresh. It’s about believing that you and your relationship are dynamic, capable of evolving and thriving. This empowers you to confront challenges as opportunities for growth, encouraging perseverance instead of being deterred by obstacles.

You become more open to feedback, value communication, and actively seek ways to improve as a boyfriend. Continual learning becomes a cornerstone as you seek to deepen your connection and understand your partner better. Once you achieve that, you won’t have to wonder about how to be a better boyfriend.

21. Surprise her with acts of kindness

Surprising your girlfriend with acts of kindness taps into the psychology of appreciation and emotional connection. These surprises trigger positive emotions and make her feel valued, loved, and special. Simple gestures carry significant weight, creating a lasting impact on her happiness and the relationship. This is one of the surprising traits of a great boyfriend. Here are some examples of the things you can do:

  • Prepare a homemade dinner of her favorite dishes to surprise her after a long day
  • Place sweet, handwritten notes in unexpected places for her to discover
  • Surprise her with a picnic or a day trip to a place she loves, adding an element of spontaneity to your relationship
  • Give her a small gift that shows you’ve been paying attention to her interests or something she mentioned wanting

Related Reading: 10 Great Tips For Healthy Relationships In College

22. Celebrate her achievements

Celebrating your girlfriend’s achievements is a wonderful way to show your unwavering support and care. It’s about recognizing and embracing her victories, regardless of their size. When she achieves something significant to her — be it a personal milestone or a professional accomplishment — show genuine excitement and enthusiasm. Even if it is something as seemingly small as complimenting her new haircut, do it.

23. Practice gratitude and appreciation

Expressing gratitude and appreciation toward your girlfriend creates a positive and nurturing atmosphere in the relationship. It’s about recognizing and acknowledging the efforts, big or small, that she puts into the relationship or your lives together. When you express gratitude for:

  • A thoughtful gesture
  • Her support during tough times
  • Her presence in your life

It shows that you’re mindful of her efforts and that you don’t take her for granted. Simple acts like saying “thank you”, complimenting her efforts, or even writing a heartfelt note expressing your appreciation can go a long way in nurturing a healthy and fulfilling emotional connection. Gratitude is a powerful tool that deepens emotional intimacy and strengthens the foundation of a loving relationship.

24. Clearly define your relationship

Defining the relationship is like creating a roadmap together — it helps navigate the journey you’re both on. Even before you ask, “Am I a good boyfriend?”, ask whether you’ve properly defined your relationship status. When a relationship lacks clarity, misunderstandings can brew, leading to uncertainty, unmet expectations, and hurt feelings. Take the initiative to openly communicate your intentions and perspective.

This is one of the most important things a boyfriend should do for his girlfriend. If you see this person as your significant other, express that, articulating what being in a relationship means to you. Being open about your relationship status prevents confusion and sets the stage for a stronger, more stable connection built on mutual respect, understanding, and clear expectations.

Related Reading: How To Connect With Your Partner On A Deeper Level – Expert Helps

25. Never tear her down

Criticism can sting deeper than we realize. Whether it’s sarcastic remarks, hurtful jokes, or harsh words thrown in the heat of an argument, these can wound a person’s self-worth. Steer clear of these if you want to be a better boyfriend emotionally. An ideal partner refrains from intentionally causing emotional harm, even in moments of frustration.

Instead, aim to cultivate a relationship built on kindness and love, especially during challenging times. Remember, your words hold immense power — use them to uplift your partner, show emotional support in the relationship, and nurture a healthy and respectful connection.

I hope that after reading this article, you’re no longer troubled by the question, “What is a boyfriend supposed to do?” There are many little things you can do for the person you love. Make her your top priority and be there for her consistently. Become her support system. Don’t ever let her feel like she is alone in this world. Accept her for who she is and don’t judge her when she makes a mistake. As long as you keep trying to figure out how to be a better partner in a relationship, these things will come naturally to you.

FAQs

1. What is a bad boyfriend?

A bad boyfriend will exhibit all the relationship red flags. He could be selfish, dishonest, give very little attention to his girl, or be clingy and controlling. He may even end up cheating. Most significantly, he would show very little respect and genuine affection.

2. How do I keep her in love?

A good boyfriend isn’t someone who showers his girlfriend with expensive gifts and holiday trips. The best boyfriend is someone who listens and understands and make his girl feel special and loved.

3. How does a woman want to be treated?

A woman wants to be treated with love and respect. She wants you to give her your time and attention, she wants you to be part of her big decisions. She wants to feel secure, wanted, and appreciated in the relationship. One of the simplest ways to be a better boyfriend is to make your partner feel safe and secure by being there for her, not displaying jealous tendencies or controlling behavior, and being her friend and support system.

4. What do women want in a relationship?

Women do not ask a lot from a relationship. They want respect, affection, attention, and understanding. Help her with the household chores or surprise her with roses, she would love you to the moon and back. If you want to be the best boyfriend in the world, don’t ever use her weaknesses against her.

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