It’s every girl’s dream to have in her life someone who would adore her for everything that she is. If you’re a guy dating someone and wondering if you’re treating her right, you have arrived at the right place. It’s nothing strange to wonder about things like: Am I a good boyfriend? Is she happy with me? What can I do to make her happier? All of these questions suggest you’re on a quest to figure out how to be a better boyfriend because you love and value the person you’re with and don’t want anything to mess up this good thing you’ve got going on.
When you are madly in love with a girl, you want to keep your girlfriend happy. Not out of any obligation but out of the love you have for her. A healthy relationship can’t survive with just good chemistry. It also requires small gestures like asking her how her day went and making sure she gets adequate sleep every night. With the help of these 20 tips we’ve put together, you can be the perfect boyfriend and make her feel special.
How To Be A Better Boyfriend? 20 Tips To Make Her Fall Deeper In Love With You
Before we can answer this question, we need to put forth a few questions to you. According to you, what are the qualities of a good boyfriend? What are his duties toward a girlfriend? What is your definition of a happy, wholesome relationship? Only by finding answers to these questions can you become the best boyfriend you can be.
To aid you on that journey to becoming the best version of yourself in your relationship, we will take you through the qualities and traits that a loving and caring boyfriend possesses. By following these 20 tips, you can be a loving boyfriend and make your girlfriend feel loved and special.
1. Treat her with respect
Let’s start with one of the simple things yet a top priority in strong and healthy relationships — Respect. This is one of the founding pillars of a relationship that makes the other person feel wanted and valued. Respect means treating your girlfriend like an equal, giving her the space to grow as an individual, and honoring her views, opinions, and values. Some other ways you can treat your girlfriend with respect are:
- Be never trying to exploit her sexually
- Knowing when to be funny and when to act serious
- Talking to her in a courteous way
- Celebrating her strengths and cherishing her
- Not flirting with other girls
2. Text her back
Sometimes it’s all about texting her back. There will be times when you’re away from each other and busy with your own lives. This could be because of personal reasons or work-related issues. Just drop a message saying you miss her or you’re thinking about her. Text her to keep her interested. This will fill her heart with love and concern for you.
When the two of you are texting to and fro, don’t make her wait for your messages just to see if she chases you. This is one of the biggest relationship turn-offs and reeks of manipulation. This doesn’t mean you have to be glued to your phone waiting for her text. But whenever you’re both engaged in a chat, reply to her quickly and consistently.
3. Be spontaneous
If you have been dating her for quite some time, then it’s natural to become comfortable in the relationship. However, don’t let comfort turn into complacency, which can be a roadblock to a healthy relationship. One of the ways to be a better boyfriend is to simply make an effort to not let your relationship become stagnant.
Do something spontaneous. Surprise her with flowers and brownies once in a while or take her out on a coffee date just because. Get ice cream in the middle of the night. Or turn a routine weeknight into a lowkey romantic dinner. These romantic gestures for her will make your girlfriend happy and make you look like the perfect boyfriend ever.
4. Genuinely listen when she is talking
How to be a better boyfriend? Pause the game, put your mobile phone on silent, and genuinely listen when she is talking to you. It is important to be a good listener because a good relationship is all about making each other feel seen and heard. Listening to her doesn’t mean offering rational answers either.
She is living her own life and can handle problems on her own. All you have to do is provide a shoulder for her to lean on and speak her heart out. Guys usually don’t bother about these things, but it can be a big deal for women when their boyfriends give them their undivided attention and just listen.
5. Don’t just listen, understand her
To listen to your girlfriend’s worries and woes isn’t a big deal. You can sit and hear her out as your mind wanders. Anybody could do that. Since you’re here, asking, “How can I be a better boyfriend to my girlfriend?”, you need to make sure she feels heard and understood. To be the perfect boyfriend, you have to make an effort to understand what she’s saying and where she’s coming from. Here are some tips you can use to become an understanding boyfriend:
- Listen to her without judging her
- Be more empathetic
- Listen to the silence and the pauses as well
- Be aware of her feelings
- Don’t impose your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs
Related Reading: 10 Proven Ways To Show Someone You Love Them
6. Take responsibility for your words and actions
There are few things more attractive to a woman than a man who takes responsibility for his actions. Being able to acknowledge when you are wrong is one of the traits of a great boyfriend. Accept your mistakes so that you can work on them. Assuming responsibility for your actions will make you a caring and responsible boyfriend.
For example, if you want to show her you’re a cool yet caring boyfriend over text, make sure you keep her informed if you’re busy instead of seeing her message and not replying. And if for some reason, you’re unable to give her a heads up, saying, “I am sorry I couldn’t respond sooner, I was busy”, is so much better than just expecting her to instinctively know that if you haven’t responded, you must be occupied somewhere. She would appreciate your honesty and ability to own up to your mistakes.
7. Don’t try to win every single argument
Win her heart, not arguments. A perfect boyfriend would resort to saying hurtful things in a relationship just to win an argument. This goes for both partners, but since we’re talking about ways to be a good boyfriend, let’s focus on that. The purpose of a disagreement is to find a solution to your problems or a middle ground on things you don’t see eye-to-eye on.
Arguments are bound to happen in a relationship. But if you make it a point to win every single argument, the conflict will only result in tougher times. You can minimize the hurt by focusing on resolving issues rather than indulging in a game of one-upmanship. So focus on trying to understand each other’s standpoint without yelling at each other.
8. Be affectionate every day
You don’t have to indulge in over-the-top displays of affection all the time. Just a kiss on the forehead or a hug when you see her is enough to make her feel appreciated and loved. Being mindful of this is important when you’re trying to figure out how to be a better boyfriend to your girlfriend because a lack of affection can result in a lot of problems between couples.
Be affectionate even in front of friends and family. This will tell her that you are proud to have her in your life. Some other ways of being affectionate in a healthy relationship include:
- Hold her hand
- Give her a good massage
9. How to be a good boyfriend? Don’t be controlling
An affectionate boyfriend will never control his girlfriend. He will make her feel free in the relationship. This relationship advice will change your life – You need to encourage her to be herself and be supportive of her choices. If she feels you’re a jealous boyfriend or you tend to control her life, there is no way she will be proud or even content to have you in her life.
The key is to always remember that she is an individual, an independent person, not an extension of you. And it’s not your place to make decisions for her. This includes the people she interacts with or the decisions she makes about her life. If there is something women hate, it’s a man who doesn’t trust them to decide for themselves. By letting her decide what she wants, you give her the agency to choose you every single day.
10. Become her best friend
There is nothing more beautiful than finding friendship and love in one person. Because relationships are more than just about having good sex and buying each other gifts. They are about listening to your partner’s tantrums after a bad day. They’re about picking them up when they feel down. And about listening to your partner complain about her friends.
If you feel like friendship is lacking in your relationship, then spend time with your girlfriend. Get to know her even better and be there for her when she needs a friend. Be her source of support and strength, be the person she can turn to when she’s feeling lost, be the person she engages in banter with, and you’ll never have to wonder, “How can I be a better boyfriend to my girlfriend?”
Related Reading: 15 Top Signs Of A Selfish Boyfriend
11. Inculcate altruistic behavior
Altruism is one of the sexiest qualities a man can have. Believe it or not, altruism in men ranks higher than good looks and a sense of humor. Even studies have consistently shown that altruism is the quality women are drawn to when they are looking for a relationship. It even increases men’s chances of mating.
Altruism is all about being concerned about others’ well-being. It reflects in our everyday gestures, such as paying attention to someone, offering your seat to someone, and buying someone food. It’s the little acts of kindness that matter the most in a committed relationship.
12. How to be a good boyfriend? Show vulnerability
Stimulate vulnerability in your relationship if you want to be the perfect boyfriend. Don’t resist opening up to your partner thinking you are safeguarding yourself from getting hurt. When you become more vulnerable with your partner, you develop emotional intimacy that can’t be broken easily.
It will also positively impact your partner’s well-being. They will start opening up to you as well. Most people are afraid of being vulnerable because they think it makes them look weak, but in its absence, you cannot build a solid relationship that can stand the test of time.
Related Reading: 19 Things To Reassure Your Girlfriend Of Your Love
13. Don’t use those vulnerabilities against her
Don’t be a bad boyfriend by using her vulnerabilities against her. If she shared her trauma and weaknesses from past relationships with you, it’s because she loves you and thought you would be her secret keeper. Don’t be an opportunist and use these as ammunition against her. Couples argue but that’s no excuse to throw her vulnerabilities in her face and make her feel sorry for opening up to you.
14. Be willing to compromise
One of the qualities of a good relationship is that both partners compromise equally. The ability to do so is one of the signs you are meant to be together. However, remember that there’s a big difference between compromise and sacrifice. Don’t confuse the two and let someone walk all over you. But try to make her life easier by compromising and meeting her half-way whenever there is a disagreement, no matter how big or small.
She wants to eat Chinese and watch a movie of her choice? Eat Chinese but watch a movie of your choice. This way, you both compromise and you both get to do something you love. Compromising is really not that difficult, guys! In fact, it is one of the easiest ways to be a better boyfriend.
15. Give her space
When you love someone, you want to spend all your time with them. But this can also make a person feel trapped in the relationship. A healthy relationship is where you give your partner the space and alone time she deserves. Being around your girlfriend all day can sometimes cause more harm than good. Be a better partner and let her have her space. If she wants to hang out with her friends or go on a solo trip, don’t be bitter about it.
16. Help her with household chores
If you are living together, then this is the best relationship advice you will ever receive. Your girlfriend isn’t responsible for looking after you. So, don’t expect her to. She’s not your mother and you’re no longer a child who needs tending to. Step up and share the domestic load with her – this is one of the simplest ways of showing care and will strengthen your bond.
Not having a partner who is willing to do his share of chores is one of the problems most women face in their relationships. Be a perfect boyfriend by helping her with household chores. If she’s cooking, you do the dishes. If she’s doing the laundry, you go get the groceries. Come up with a system that works for you and contribute to keeping your shared lives running smoothly – without being asked or reminded.
Related Reading: How To Redefine Gender Roles In Household Chores
17. Take interest in the things she is interested in
A good partner will focus just as much on their partner’s life as their own. In a committed relationship, you have to take interest in the things your girlfriend likes. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like going to the museum. Just take her there. Walk around with her holding hands. Be a good listener and listen to her talk about her love for art. Pay attention to how her eyes light up when she looks at those paintings. This will strengthen your bond and you will become the world’s best boyfriend to her in no time!
18. Prioritize her pleasure
There is no denying that good sex is one of the key factors in a healthy relationship. Make your current girlfriend feel loved by constantly trying to elevate the quality of your sex life. Pay attention to what she likes in bed. Don’t be selfish in bed and make it all about yourself.
Learn how to satisfy a woman in bed. Talk to her about it. Ask her what would make her feel good. A study has found only 18% of women can reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. So, don’t limit sex to just intercourse. It’s about touching and playing with each other. Explore her body and find new ways to pleasure her. If there is something you want in bed, don’t hesitate to ask for it. But remember to always seek her consent and respect it.
19. Learn about her attachment style
Every person has their own attachment style that is based on their childhood experiences and their early interactions with their primary caregivers. By learning what her attachment style is, you will be able to become a better partner for her. For example, if she has an anxious attachment style, she will need a lot of reassurance of your love, both verbal and non-verbal reassurance.
You will be better able to understand that need without labeling her clingy or needy or pushing her away. Even if you can’t cater to that need 100%, you will be able to empathize with her and see where she is coming from.
20. Be willing to grow in the relationship
This is one of the proven ways you show your love. Some men run away when they see a relationship getting serious. But if you keep avoiding the “where is this going” conversation like the plague, how will you be the better boyfriend you so earnestly want to be? Don’t run away from the thought of commitment. Be the kind of man your girlfriend would be proud to show off. Help each other become better people by growing mentally, intellectually, and financially together. A healthy relationship is all about growing and glowing together.
- A good boyfriend isn’t someone who showers his girlfriend with expensive gifts and holiday trips. A good boyfriend is someone who listens and understands
- A perfect boyfriend will help his girlfriend solve problems and make her feel special and loved
- One of the simplest ways to be a better boyfriend is to make your partner feel secure by being there for her, not displaying jealous tendencies or controlling behavior, and being her friend and support system
- If you want to be the best boyfriend you can be, don’t use her weaknesses against her
These are some of the little things you can do for the person you love. Make her your top priority and be there for her consistently. Become her support system. Don’t ever let her feel like she is alone in this world. Accept her for who she is and don’t judge her when she makes a mistake. With these tips, you will not only become a great boyfriend, but you will also become an irreplaceable one!
This article has been updated in November 2022.
A bad boyfriend will exhibit all the relationship red flags. He would be essentially a person who would be selfish, could give very little attention to his girl or could be clingy. He would be dishonest, he could end up cheating even. Most importantly he would show very little respect and genuine affection.
A great boyfriend just needs to show respect and affection to his girl, be attentive and supportive, he should understand her feelings and her need for space. Just be honest, assuring and supportive and she would be in love with you madly.
A woman wants to be treated with love and respect. She wants you to give her your time and attention, she wants you to be part of her big decisions. She wants to feel secure, wanted, and appreciated in the relationship.
Women do not ask a lot from a relationship. They want respect, affection, attention and understanding. Help her with the household chores or surprise her with roses, she would love you to the moon and back.