Can A Girl Have A Guy Best Friend And A Boyfriend?

My Questions and Answers | | Expert Author , Leadership & Mental Health Coach
Updated On: December 6, 2023
can a girl have a guy best friend and a boyfriend?

I have been close to my neighbor since childhood. Since we went to the same school and college our friendship has only gotten closer over the years. He has been my best friend but now I have a boyfriend. Can a girl have a guy best friend and a boyfriend?

Can A Girl Have A Guy Best Friend And A Boyfriend?

Things between us are completely platonic and we have helped each other through many girlfriends and boyfriends.

I have been dating my work colleague for 6 months now and he is uncomfortable with our friendship even though we have no past together. Do you end up losing guy friends when you get a boyfriend?

Related Reading: Can Healthy Jealousy Help You Build Stronger Relationships?

Do boyfriends get jealous of guy friends?

He gets jealous if I don’t take his calls when I am speaking to my best friend and doesn’t understand why I give him so much time. Can a girl give equal importance to her boyfriend as well as her male bestie? This is a question that has been on my mind.

There’s a difference between a male friend and a boyfriend

I refuse to think that hanging out with a guy friend when you have a boyfriend is not possible. My best friend has been a part of my life since childhood and I cannot cut him off my life.

Will I end up losing my guy friend when I have a boyfriend? That’s a bit unfair.

But at the same time I care for my boyfriend and don’t want to give him grief. But there is a difference between a male friend and a boyfriend, he needs to understand that.

What should I do? Please help

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You are right in saying that a girl should be able to give equal importance to her boyfriend and to her male best friend – I completely agree. But there are certain caveats to this balancing act.

Understand the feelings of each person

First, it’s important for you to think about both these relationships deeply and understand the feelings each person – your partner and your best friend – have about you.

Realising that both these relationships have different things to offer and pose no threat to each other is the first step before you initiate any discussion.

Your partner’s fears are natural

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Once you have spent some time assessing your feelings approach your partner for a conversation. It’s important to note here that your partner’s fears are natural as they may feel insecure or threatened so being patient and empathetic towards them will ensure a more meaningful relationship between the two of you.

You should communicate clearly

Partners who can communicate clearly what they feel without feeling judged or scared are often able to navigate awkward conversations more easily than those who look at such conversations with a singular intention to speak and not listen. Hear your partner’s doubts, decide on mutually agreed ground rules on what is acceptable and assure each other of the trust that you two share.

Keep your partner informed

As you are in the middle, you would be the judge of how much time you spend with each one but remember to inform your partner of the decisions you make.

Lastly, make a genuine attempt to get them to meet and plan a good time for all that would assuage your partner’s fears and also give an idea to your best friend about the importance of your partner in your life.

Hope this helps

Megha Gurnani

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